


(How did it come to this) love is a polaroid

by TheGoatWithAPen



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Basically they're all idiots who need to communicate properly, F/F, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Josie is Lara Jean, Pedro was adopted by the Saltzman's, Penelope Is Peter, This will end up being far too long because I have no idea how to write anything remotely short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-02-27 03:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 136,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18731116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoatWithAPen/pseuds/TheGoatWithAPen
Summary: Josette Saltzman wrote five love letters, to five different people.One to a boy she met at camp.One to a boy at homecoming.One to her best friend.One to her sister's worst enemy.One to her sister's boyfriend.She never thought anyone would ever see them. So, what on earth does she do when she realizes they've gotten out?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, Legacies owns my entire being, and when I watched To All The Boys I Loved Before, I immediately had the idea for this fic. So, naturally, I wrote it, and here it is.  
> Enjoy!

Josette Saltzman is really just a normal teenage girl. She’s got an older sister who’s loud and popular and a younger brother who has more friends then she ever will. She’s got a best friend who is slightly strange and liked by no one else in the school and a dad who’s too protective for his own good. Hell, she even has a worst enemy in the form of a blonde cheerleader. 

So, yeah. She’s normal. 

And it’s not even like she has some sort of dark secret.

Not really.

She just writes letters to people that she crushes on. 

Letters that are never sent.

Letters that stay hidden in her hatbox away from the light of day.

Letters that, if they got out, would probably be the end of her. 

There are five in total. 

One to Hope Mikealson, her best friend, written when she was thirteen and having a sexuality crisis.

One to a boy she met at camp named Josh, whom she hasn't seen since.

One to MG, a guy she talked to at Homecoming, who she thought was really funny.

One to Penelope Park, the girl her sister hated, who she had never quite managed to get out of her head.

And one to Rafael Waithe, her sister’s boyfriend, written two months ago, when she had finally needed to release her emotions somewhere.

You can see how that last one would be a bit of a problem.

Rafael had been her friend before he had started dating Lizzie. Josie had love his companionship and unfortunately for her, she hadn’t really realized that she had liked him until it was too late. After Rafael and Lizzie got together, they were still friends, but with Lizzie in the picture, Josie always felt like a third wheel. So, into the hatbox a letter went. And it would not come out. No matter what. Because Josie could not do something like that to Lizzie. 

+++

It was the night before school began and Josie was having dinner with her family. Well, it wasn’t really the whole family, because Lizzie had said she wanted to go over to Rafael’s house for dinner, and her dad had said yes, but it was still the family.

Her dad kept asking questions about whether they were ready for school or not. Every now and then, in the breaks between questions, her little brother would roll his eyes at her, and she'd smile back. Her dad really could be a bit too protective for his own good sometimes. 

Just when they had finished eating, Josie heard footsteps approaching the door. She was about to comment that Lizzie was home early, before the door swung open, to reveal Lizzie, with tears streaking down her face. Before their dad could even greet her, she had stormed upstairs and slammed her door. 

There was a sudden silence. They all looked at each other, unsure of how to proceed. Josie put the pieces together and she could tell her dad and brother had too. This had something to do with Rafael. 

They all proceeded up the stairs with some caution. When Lizzie got upset, she got violent. Right on cue, the sound of smashing came from her room, followed by a loud scream. Their dad took the steps up to her room quicker after that before knocking gently on her door. 

“Lizzie? You okay sweetie?” he asked. There was a pause. Then a sniffle. 

"No."

Their dad slowly pushed the door open and they all looked into the room. Lizzie was sitting on the edge of her bed, eyes red, hands clenched into fists. On the floor lay a shattered photo. Josie couldn't help but notice it was one Lizzie had taken of her and Rafael on their six month anniversary.

“What happened?” their dad asked. Lizzie sniffled.  
“Raf broke up with me.” Oh.

Oh.

Josie wasn’t really sure how to feel. On the one hand, she was upset. Her sister loved Raf. She had ranted at Josie for nearly hours on end about her perfect Raf was, how he was the best boyfriend ever, how Lizzie had no idea about how to be a good girlfriend to him. How dare he break her heart like this?

But somewhere, deep, deep in her mind, there was a voice that told her ‘maybe now you can have him’. Maybe now she could send that letter. The moment that thought flared however, she hated herself. This was not about her, and if this was what Raf did to Lizzie, then she didn't want him either, she told herself. No, this was about Lizzie. And Josie needed to be there for her sister.

They spent the rest of the night comforting Lizzie and talking her through what happened. It seemed totally unorthodox. There had been no warning signs as far as Lizzie was concerned. It had been a nice night and then he’d just turned to her after dinner, when they had gone up to his room and had said 

“I think we should break up.”

Apparently, his reasoning was along the lines of ‘I just don’t feel the same about you anymore.’ It was dumb. Boys were so dumb. And she absolutely hated herself for feeling sympathy for Raf, he’d dumped her sister! But maybe he hadn’t been happy, and really if you aren’t happy then you should do something about it. But he’d broken Lizzie’s heart!

It was a mess. She had absolutely no idea about how to feel. So, she’d just deal with that later. 

Eventually, her dad and Pedro left. Then it was just her and Lizzie. Lizzie was feeling pretty down, so she asked Josie if she could sleep with Lizzie tonight. This was a usual occurrence whenever Lizzie had a breakdown and needed her sister and of course, Josie was always happy to oblige. 

As they were lying there, Lizzie softly spoke.

“Look, I know Raf and you are friends, but I don’t think I can talk to him right now. And I don’t want to be a jerk but if you could just maybe not talk to him when I’m around, I know the two of you are friends but,” Lizzie sighed, “I don’t think we can be like that right now.”

Josie nodded. She understood. If someone had just shattered her heart into a million pieces, she probably wouldn’t want to talk to them either.  
“Okay. I’ll stay away from him when I’m with you.” Lizzie nodded.

“Thank you.”

Silence fell for a moment. Then Lizzie laughed humorlessly. 

“What a sucky last day of holidays.”

Lizzie fell asleep first, and Josie was left alone with her thoughts. Raf, her old friend, had just broken her sisters’ heart. And Josie still had feelings for him. Feelings that could never ever come out no matter what. Feelings that must stay trapped deep within that hatbox forever. 

Josie stared into the darkness of her room. 

So, now what?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie heads back to school and we see some familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos that everyone left on the first chapter, I'm so glad that people enjoy this story! Now let's get onto the chapter, it's time for our first Posie interaction.  
> Enjoy!

The three Saltzman siblings stood outside their house, posing for pictures. Pedro was holding his Grade 6 sign. Josie and Lizzie were holding their Grade 11 signs. All of them smiling brightly, like nothing has ever, nor will ever, be wrong with their lives. 

“Beautiful.” Their dad grinned at them from behind his phone. Josie was glad he’d actually managed to take the photos this time. There had been so many years when he’d had no idea how to take a photo on his phone.

“Alright, I gotta get to work. You’ll be good driving yourselves?” Lizzie nodded. 

“Definitely. I won’t Josie get anywhere near the steering wheel.” Josie turned to face her sister indignantly.

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” 

“No, you are,” her sister and brother replied at the same time. Josie rolled her eyes. 

Their dad nodded.  
“Right, well, see you, love you, have a great day at school!”

Then he was gone and it was just them. Lizzie turned to Josie. You really couldn’t tell she’d just been broken up with. She was dressed in her blazer with a bright smile on her face. If you weren’t close with Lizzie, you wouldn’t even notice anything was wrong. 

Josie saw the way her smile looked too bright. The way her eyes were slightly red. The fact that she was wearing extra makeup, and she only did that on days when she wanted to feel extra good about herself after a low point. 

“Okay, a few things really quickly. I’m going to find my friends as soon as we get there. And I know we don’t interact a lot at school but, I need your support for me. We hate Raf right now. You can be friends with him or whatever, but don’t let anyone know. We need to be seen as a united front.” Josie nodded slowly.

“Okay.” She didn’t really want to talk to Raf right now so that would not be a problem. She really should figure out where she sat on her feelings about him before she talked to him. 

“And I’m going out with the girls this afternoon, we're celebrating the first day of school, so you have to drive home.” Despite having protected her driving abilities earlier, Josie felt her stomach flip at the thought of driving. She wasn’t that bad, the road just made her really anxious. 

“Wait what?” Lizzie smirked at Josie.

“I thought you weren’t that bad?” 

“I’m not, I just-”

“-Can we please go now?” The twins turned to face Pedro, who was leaning on the car door. Lizzie gave him a smile.

“Yes, of course.”

As Lizzie and Pedro got into the car, Josie looked over to the house next to them. Rafael was standing by his car, looking serious as always. His eyes lifted and met Josie’s. Her gave her a quick smile. She turned her head away and got into the car.

+++

When they got to school, true to her word, Lizzie left for her more popular friends. Josie had never really fit in with either of the two popular groups, which led to Lizzie’s group ignoring her, and the other group, led by Dana Lilien, Lizzie’s mortal enemy, hating her. So, she just stayed in her own lane.

Everybody just sort of forgot about her, or, thought of her as Lizzie’s boring twin. She guessed she was okay with that.

She passed by Raf in the hall, and once again they made eye contact. This time he didn’t smile, he just held her stare. She turned her head away once again, looking down at the ground. Nope. United front. Support you sister. Ignore your feelings. 

As she hadn’t been paying any attention at all as to where she was going, she slammed into someone. Immediately, she began to apologise.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t- oh.” 

The person she had just slammed into was Dana Lilien. Crap. She had been hoping to postpone an interaction with the she-devil for as long as she possibly could. Apparently, the universe really hated her. 

“Oh Josie! Didn’t see you there, completely forgot you existed in fact. How’s Lizzie, she still off her meds?” Of course, Dana had to sneak in not only an attack at Josie, but one at Lizzie too. How hard was it to be a decent person? If Josie wasn’t trying to be nice, she definitely would have found a way to set Dana on fire by now. 

“Go away evil one.” Dana scoffed.

“Wow, even your comebacks are forgettable. Who even let you attend this school?” As Josie was searching for an answer that didn’t make her look even more pathetic, she heard a voice behind her.

“Funny, I was about to ask you the exact same thing.” 

Thank every single deity ever believed in for Hope Mikealson. Her best friend really had a knack for being in the right place at the right time to save Josie.

Her red hair was tied up, she was rocking a leather jacket and she had one of the fakest smiles that Josie had ever seen on her face. Passive aggressive Hope was truly a special creature. It was times like these that Josie was reminded of why she'd had a crush on her. 

Dana rolled her eyes and put one hand on her hip.

“Oh look, a washed up nobody. Shouldn’t you be moping somewhere?” Hope beamed in response. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing something meaningful with your life?” 

Josie pointed her eyes firmly at the ground. There were two people Dana hated more than anything in the world, Hope and Lizzie, which meant Josie spent a lot of her time caught in the crossfire. 

It was funny that despite hating the same person, and having Josie close to them, Lizzie and Hope despised each other. No one except Josie really knew where it had come from, and Josie only knew because she was pretty much the one who had started it. Sort of on accident, of course, but it had still happened, and she'd still regretted it.

But back to the current moment. Back to Hope glaring at Dana, Dana rolling her eyes, and Josie trying to melt into the floor, avoiding eye contact at all costs, so as to not be annihilated. 

“Hey babe.” A new voice entered the conversation and Josie felt her heart skip a beat. Why did it have to do that?

She rose her eyes to find that Dana was now leaning into the arms over her girlfriend, Penelope Park.

Yes.

The same Penelope Park that Josie had written a letter to when she was 14. 

That one.

Josie had never quite understood Penelope Park. She had always hated Lizzie, even before Lizzie had started being a bitch to preserve her reputation. She had never been one to step down from a fight, but it always seemed that she was hiding something. She seemed to be friends with everyone in the school despite also being enemies with everyone.

But most strangely of all, she had never been a bitch to Josie.

Not when she’d been insulting Lizzie.

Not when her girlfriend and her posse had made it their mission to hate both Saltzman twins.

Never.

And Josie had never been able to figure out why.

She looked extra good today. She was wearing a white shirt and blue pants with a red ribbon. Josie wanted to set her on fire as well, if only to stop her looking so stupidly amazing.

Dana looked back from the eyes of her girlfriend to Josie and Hope.

“I was just saying hi to the two most irrelevant people in this school.” Penelope grinned but Josie could have sworn she saw a flash of annoyance pass her face before she did. No, she was probably imagining things.

“I’m gonna go. I see something worth more of my time,” Dana announced, and with that she pulled away from Penelope and stalked off to go mingle with some more of her popular friends.

Thank God. Josie had thought she'd be stuck in that moment forever.

When Penelope turned to face them, Josie saw that she looked somewhat apologetic.

“She’s gone on a caffeine-less diet. She’s a bit grumpy.” Hope scoffed.

“Really, I couldn’t tell the difference.” Penelope rolled her eyes.

“Alright, I’d better go then. I’ll see you around Mikealson.” Her eyes flicked to Josie and the corner of her mouth quirked.

“Saltzman.” And then she was gone.

“Well that was fun,” Josie commented dryly. Hope laughed. 

“Come on, don’t let the she devil get you down.” 

“Which one?” Hope rolled her eyes.

“Dana, obviously. Penelope isn’t that bad.”

Josie had never understood Hope and Penelope’s relationship. It was like they had some sort of mutual understanding to lightly banter with each other but never have it mean anything. 

But now was not the time to think about Penelope Park. Now was not the time to worry about Dana Lilien. Now was not the time to be worried at all. It was day one of Junior year and Josie was going to have a good day.

She turned to Hope with a bright smile. 

“Alright, let’s go.” Hope grinned. 

“Cool. Let me tell you about my trip to New Orleans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who now ships Dana and Penelope? Can't wait to make them endgame!  
> (Kidding, I could never do that to Posie).  
> All jokes aside, thanks again for reading this fic, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I will see you all again for the next chapter!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie's first day of school doesn't exactly go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned! I was planning to update yesterday, but life got in the way, so, here it is now!  
> We're going to see Josie's first interaction with Rafael today, but don't worry, there is a little bit of Posie at the end :)  
> Enjoy!

From there on Josie’s day did not exactly improve. It seemed to her like every single class had just gotten even more boring over the break. Hope wasn’t exactly a good student, so in all her classes that she shared with her best friend, she had to make sure to keep Hope on track as well.

Her least favorite class was Chemistry, mostly because of the people in it. There was Hope sitting to her left, and Lizzie to her right. They didn’t stop bickering across Josie once.  
Raf was sitting across the class from them and he would not stop sending looks their way. Josie couldn’t even tell who he was looking at.

And then of course, Penelope Park and Dana were up the back and Josie could hear their laughter throughout the entire lesson. She could practically see Mr William’s life leaving his eyes every time he had to call for them to be quiet. 

Then came lunch. Usually, lunch was a student's favorite part of school. Right now, Josie despised it.

She was standing in the middle of the cafeteria, holding her bag by her side, checking her phone for texts from Hope, trying not to look like a sad and lonely loser.

She got the feeling that it was not working.

It was times like this that she wished she was better at the whole social interactions thing. She looked over at Lizzie’s group.

She had no idea how her sister managed to navigate social situations so easily. She just smiled and laughed and everyone loved her. It looked effortless.

Of course, Josie knew it wasn’t. She had seen Lizzie in tears because of how exhausting it was to be happy the whole time. And she knew that Lizzie’s friends were all nice and they were all actually good people, but she wasn’t sure how much they actually knew about Lizzie. 

She cast her gaze to the other side of the cafeteria. Dana’s group. It was almost a mirror image. A pretty blonde in the middle laughing as everyone else in the group looked at her like she was a god. She said almost because where Lizzie sat alone in the middle, Dana had Penelope by her side.

She watched Penelope whisper something into Dana’s ear and then Dana laughed and slapped Penelope lightly. They both looked so happy. She wondered what it was like being friends with Dana. Hell, she wondered what it was like dating Dana. She knew that Penelope was her longest catch, and she wondered why that was.

Well, she didn’t really have to wonder that much. She herself had been guilty of crushing on the raven-haired beauty at one point. But Penelope was known as a bit of a player, why had she chosen to stick with Dana of all people? She really could do so much better, not that Josie had ever spent time thinking about this. 

Josie realized she was staring. As she came back to her senses, she realized that Penelope was looking at her. Penelope stared back at her for a second before quickly throwing a wink and a grin Josie's way.

Josie’s eyes shot away as quick as possible and she tried to calm her racing heart. Why was Penelope like that?

Her phone buzzed and she hoped that that meant her best friend was coming to her rescue.

**Wonder Woman: I had a Subway craving!!! I’ll be back next period!**

No such luck. 

Josie decided to try her luck in the library. She could just sit down, read a book, and eat her carrot sticks in peace. 

Unfortunately, carrot sticks count as hard food. And as hard food was not allowed in the library, that meant that option was out the window. So, she left to wander the grounds of the school. 

She found herself outside and as she walked down a pathway, surrounded by no people, with no loud chatter of the cafeteria surrounding her, she decided that maybe this was the perfect way to spend lunch break. 

Then she saw Rafael sitting on the bleachers alone, listening to music. 

Why couldn't she just have nice things? 

She panicked. In the moment, she had two options. Leave Rafael like she had told herself she would do, and go walk in another direction, or go up to him and talk. 

Ugh, why couldn’t Rafael just hang out with his football friends in the cafeteria and stop her from facing this decision? 

Josie knew she would probably yell at herself for making this decision later, but she decided that what she wanted to do was go speak to Rafael. She just needed to talk to him. Maybe she could even get a better idea about why he broke up with Lizzie. 

She looked around. There was no one nearby. And Lizzie had said that as long as it wasn’t in ‘public’, she could speak to him. 

So, she walked over to him and asked 

“Hey, is this seat taken?” Rafael looked up at her and he smiled. An actual genuine smile. Her heart rate increased on instinct. No, she told herself, we do not do that anymore. We don’t have a crush on him. 

“Yeah, taken by you of course.” She smiled and sat next to him. They sat in silence for a moment and she could hear the music coming from his earplug. 

She wondered if they were just going to sit here quietly the entire time. Maybe he didn’t want to talk to her. Well, if they weren’t going to talk, at least she could eat.  
Just as she had retrieved the carrots from her bag, Rafael spoke. 

“Is she okay?” Josie knew immediately that he meant Lizzie, and wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. 

“She’ll be okay.” She would. Lizzie had learnt how bounce back. She wouldn’t let one heartbreak keep her down for too long. 

“Look, I am sorry for breaking up with her like that. I know Lizzie doesn’t always know how to deal with emotional stuff well, and I tried my best to be as nice as possible, but well, I still think I managed to do it wrong.” Josie wasn’t going to argue with that. If you’re going to break up with your girlfriend, do it some time other than the night before school comes back. 

“Your timing was off a bit,” she told him. He smiled drily. 

“Yeah.” He paused. 

“Are we still cool? I know you probably want to take your sister’s side and everything but like, you’re a cool person, and I still want my friend in my life.” 

Josie didn’t know what to say. She had a plan. Avoid Rafael until things calmed down and she’d convinced herself that she was not attracted to him at all. This was all too soon, but if she said no now, she could lose him forever, and even if she was never going to date him, she still wanted to be his friend. 

So, she decided to ignore the plan. 

“We’re cool.” He smiled and she told her heart once more to slow down when he did that. 

“Awesome.” Not quite sure what to say next, she bit into a carrot. He kept smiling as he stared aimlessly into the distance. 

“Do you want a carrot?” He nodded. 

“Yeah, give me a carrot.” 

They spent the rest of lunch sitting there, eating Josie’s carrots, and listening to a new album that had come out. It was so simple, and Josie had missed moments like this when Lizzie and Raf had started dating. It was just the two of them, and she liked it like that. She liked having her friend back. 

+++  
School went by quickly after that and suddenly she found herself in the parking lot, looking around for Pedro. Lizzie hadn’t even so much as texted her once during the day. Josie sort of hated how Lizzie got when she was at school with all of her popular friends. 

Pedro practically skipped out to meet her. 

“Josie you aren’t going to believe everything that happened today!” And then her brother was off, talking a hundred miles an hour about all his friends and how middle school was so cool, and ‘why didn’t you tell me the cafeteria was that big’ and ‘all the teachers love me so much already, I’m going to do so well’. 

She really loved him, but she was barely listening to a word he said. Lizzie was always better at this, the whole ‘listening to Pedro’s rants and actually responding with something other than an awkward nod’. Josie was much better at sitting to the side, not taking part in the conversation. 

As they got into the car, Pedro grinned at her cheekily. 

“You gonna be okay or do you need me to drive?” Josie rolled her eyes. 

“I’m going to be fine, okay? It’s just the school’s parking lot, what’s the worst that could happen?” 

She backed up and heard a voice yell. 

“Woah, woah, woah, woah!” 

Oops. 

Shit. 

She waited; eyes squeezed shut. Nope. She should become a rock. That should be a thing you can do. You should be able to become a rock and then transport yourself to a faraway mountain where no one ever bothers you. Rocks don’t need to drive. 

She heard someone knock on the window and she rolled it down without looking. Who’s it gonna be? The principal? A concerned parent? A 7th grade boy? 

“Well I knew your sister hated me Saltzman but I didn’t think that you would be the one to try and kill me.” 

Penelope Park. 

Of fucking course. 

“I wasn’t trying to kill you!” Penelope rose an eyebrow. 

“Really? Then why did you back your car straight into me without even checking to see if I was there?” Josie held back the impulse to just start screaming. Why can’t she just be good at driving? And why does Penelope Park have to be so infuriating. 

“Well, just a hot tip for next time, use your mirrors. Can’t have you committing any murders, now can we? Oh, and you,” Penelope pointed a finger gun at Pedro, 

“You’re in charge.” She flashed one last grin before walking away from the car. 

Josie wanted to sink so far into the ground for so long that she became a fossil and was used to power people’s cars. 

Pedro rose his eyebrows and grinned. He looked like someone had just given him a puppy and told him his bedtime was never. 

“Who was that?” Josie shifted in her seat and sighed. 

“Penelope Park.” Pedro gasped over-dramatically. 

“Wait. Penelope Park as in, the Penelope Park who Lizzie hates? The Penelope Park dating Dana? That Penelope Park?” Josie really wanted to hit her brother. 

“Yes. That Penelope Park.” He laughed. 

“I can’t wait to see Lizzie’s reaction when she hears that you nearly killed her.” 

“She’d probably tell me that I should try harder next time.” Pedro laughed. Josie just rested her head on the back of her seat. Couldn’t this day just end already? 

“What are we waiting for anyways?” Josie bit her lip and sighed again. 

“We’re going to wait for all the people and cars to go away.” 

Pedro smacked his head into the back of his seat and groaned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's the chapter! How does everyone like the story so far? I want to hear what you guys think!  
> The next chapter will hopefully be coming fairly soon, but until then, this is where I will leave you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie relaxes at home after a tiring week of school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all I would like to thank everyone who commented on the last chapter, your comments brighten my day, I love seeing them!  
> Second of all, this chapter isn't very focused on Posie, and is more just about Josie, but there will also be the first Hizzie interaction, so that's great!  
> Without further ado, here's the chapter!  
> Enjoy!

The rest of the week passed without many more encounters with Penelope or Dana, although every now and then, she does make eye contact with Penelope, and every time she does so, she is met with a wink. It’s extremely irritating.

Lizzie gets into a fight with both Dana and Penelope though. Josie isn’t there for the fight itself, but she is there for the aftermath. She spends that afternoon listening to Lizzie rant about how both of them are 'awful bitches who deserve to be completely destroyed'. Apparently, they made fun of her for getting dumped by Rafael.

Josie joins in every now and then with a nod, but she knows that Lizzie really just needs to get everything out.

Josie and Raf spend most lunchtimes together, out on the bleachers, away from the rest of the school, so that she holds up her side of the bargain with Lizzie. Hope sometimes joins them, and she and Raf get along fairly well, so it’s nice. It feels nice.

And she’s getting over Raf. 

Slowly, really slowly, her heart still beats really quickly when she sees him, and she can’t stop smiling in his presence, but she’s getting there. She thinks she might be able to get to a stage where being friends is all she wants.

She thinks she could be content with that.

+++

It was Friday afternoon and Josie could not be gladder. School was fun, she loved an intellectually stimulating challenge, but it was exhausting. She was currently lying on the couch with Hope, eating chips and watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Pedro was upstairs, on the phone with all of his friends. Honestly, it was kind of embarrassing that he had more friends than Josie would probably ever have. 

The door flew open and Lizzie strode in, already calling out to their father.

“Daddy, I’m going out with the girls tonight! We’re celebrating the end of the first week of school!” She spun around dramatically and then her gaze fell on Hope. 

Josie knew exactly what was about to ensue and she started preparing herself.

“Oh great. You’re here.” Josie inwardly flinched a little. She hated when her sister and best friend fought.

“Ah, I’d wondering why it was so quiet here.” Hope gave another one of her brilliant fake smiles towards Lizzie. Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, just don’t rain over my parade before tonight. Good vibes only here, and if you can’t handle being happy for two seconds then you can leave.” Josie winced.

“Lizzie, be nice.” Hope waved away Josie’s words.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll stop my pessimism if you can stop being a bitch.” Lizzie leant her arms on the couch.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be such a bitch to you if you weren’t asking for it.” Hope spun around so that she was fully facing Lizzie. 

“Oh yeah, and what did I do this time? Exist? Is my presence not good enough for her majesty?” 

“Is you calling me royalty meant to be an insult?”

“You really can’t-”

“Girls! What have I said about no arguing with each other’s friends?” Hope and Lizzie paused for a moment as Dad’s voice rang out from the kitchen. Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.” Then she flipped her hair over her shoulder and stormed up the stairs.

Hope stayed where she was for a second, like she was pondering everything that had just happened. Then she spun back around to smile at Josie.

“Sorry, but you know how I get around Lizzie.” Josie nodded. It was always like Hope had been issued a personal challenge from Lizzie for just existing, and she always had to take it. Every time Lizzie entered the room, Hope immediately had to say something. Every time Hope entered the room, Lizzie had to say something. 

Honestly, if Josie didn’t know better, she’d think the two were secretly in love with each other like in some fanfiction.

But that would be crazy, right? They hated each other and that was just that.

+++

Hope ended up going home and Lizzie left to go out with her friends. Their dad was on the night shift, so it was just Pedro and Josie at home. Josie was sitting in her bedroom, sorting through her letters. Her secret love letters.

She did this sometimes, just when she wanted to remember the feelings she’d felt in the past. 

When she read MG’s, she laughed. It was cute to read about the childish crush she’d had on him. 

When she read Hope’s, she went red. It was sort of embarrassing to read about how madly she’d been crushing on her best friend. She was glad that she was past those feelings now.

When she read Penelope’s, she groaned. It was annoying to read about how hot Josie had thought she was, because it was definitely still true. Why did she have to be so attractive and such a jerk?

When she read Rafael’s, she paused. She definitely still held those feelings for him. Less intense, but still there. She imagined a world where she texted him right now, and asked him out. But that could never happen. 

She sighed. Why couldn’t her love life be easy?

“Hey Jo?” Josie shot up, looking at her brother, scrambling to hide the letters.

“Yeah, Pedro?” He shuffled his feet, trying and failing to hide his curious gaze upon the letters. She pushed them more thoroughly behind her. 

“Do you want to watch Golden Girls with me? I don’t have anything to do, and from the look of it, neither do you.” She smiled. That sounded perfect.

Golden Girls was pretty much her comfort show. She still had memories of the whole family watching it together. She’d been about six years old and her mother had still been alive. Pedro was just a baby, newly adopted, their dad didn’t look so stressed, and Lizzie never had to fake a smile. 

Then their mother had died and her dad had started to work more, and their watching sessions had just been between the three kids, waiting for their dad to get home, or sometimes they were just alone and needed to hold onto happier times.

When Lizzie started dating Raf he started joining in. When he’d been just Josie’s friend and the boy next door, he’d never been invited. It was family only. But Lizzie decided she wanted her boyfriend to join in, so that was what happened. It still was nice, and Raf had been really fun to watch stuff with, but when Lizzie and Raf always ended leaving to go up to Lizzie’s bedroom, it felt wrong.

And now there was no Raf, and no Lizzie. Just Josie and Pedro. The last Saltzman’s standing.

Pedro slapped the couch cushion next to him.

“What do you think Lizzie’s doing right now?” Josie shrugged.

“She’s probably having the time of her life with all her friends.” Pedro frowned.

“Couldn’t she be having the time of her life here?” Josie smiled sadly. She knew that Pedro was really close with Lizzie, definitely closer with her than he was with Josie, and even though he tried to hide it a lot, he just wanted his big sister to stay being his big sister.

“It sucks not having her here,” Josie said, staring into the TV, not really seeing anything. 

“I even miss Rafael; his Blanche impression was so funny.” Josie smiled. She remembered how much she had loved Raf’s impression. It had been just another thing to make her wish he was hers. 

Pedro frowned again and turned to look at Josie. 

“Why don’t you have someone Josie? Like, someone to date?” Josie sighed, ignoring thoughts of Raf.

“I don’t want to date anyone right now. I’m happy just being me.” 

“But then they could drive you places, and you wouldn’t have to freak out every time Lizzie ditches us.” 

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Well, then I guess you’re going to be stuck with me freaking out every single time.”

Pedro creased his eyebrows. Then he shot up straight and turned to face Josie fully.

“What about that girl, the one you nearly killed the other day?” Josie frowned.

“Well for starters, she’s dating Dana, and then there’s the fact that Lizzie would actually kill me. You know that they’re worst enemies.” Pedro nodded. They’d both lost track of the amount of times Lizzie had ranted angrily about Penelope Park.

“I thought she’d be a lot meaner. A lot less pretty as well.” Josie just frowned. Pedro continued speaking.

“But it’s not just that Jo. It’s Friday night, and you’re here watching Golden Girls with your little brother. You should be out, having fun with your friends.” Josie scoffed.  
“Yeah, because Hope is such a party animal.” 

“You know what I mean. I’m 12 and I have plans for pretty much every day of the week for the next two weeks already. You’re 16 and you only have homework planned.” 

He did have a point. But Josie liked staying in. She didn’t need to be like Lizzie, going out, making every day into a huge event. She was happy with her strange loner best friend, and her homework. And so what if she wasn’t dating anyone? Lizzie had dated someone, and look how well that turned out. 

But still, there was a small voice in her head. One that wanted to have more friends. One that thought it might actually be really nice to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, someone who cared about her, and wasn’t distracted by Lizzie. 

Someone that chose her first.

No. That’s irrelevant. You don’t need that. 

She thought about her letters. Not for the first time she wondered what might have happened if she had sent them as soon as she wrote them. 

Still irrelevant. They’re never getting sent.

Josie and Pedro didn’t talk much for the rest of the night. Josie actually found herself falling asleep halfway through an episode, her mind still somehow lost in Pedro’s words. She was woken up by Pedro, who had a strange smile on his face, like he a diabolical plan. But, deciding that it probably had to do with her falling asleep on the couch again, she ignored it. 

The next time she fell asleep, she had banished all boyfriend/girlfriend related thoughts far, far, away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may not have had much Posie content, but don't worry, the next chapter will definitely supply you guys with some! The next chapter marks the beginning of the fun part of the story, where we get into the plot. So, get hyped for the next update! I'll try to make it quick, don't want to leave y'all in suspense for too long.  
> Until then, farewell!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie comes to school on Monday and discovers that something is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay, I had an assignment due that I really needed to work on, but now that's over, I can give you this chapter. Hold onto your hats kids, this is where the ride begins.  
> Enjoy!

The weekend was boring. Josie just did her homework, cleaned her room, gave her dad a box of stuff to give to charity, because honestly, she had way too much clutter in her room, and tried to ignore the fact that both of her siblings were out with their friends, having a great time. 

If she had known the storm that would be coming for her, she would have spent the weekend creating a new identity, and leaving the country.

But she was blissfully unaware, and when she woke up that Monday morning, she prepared for another boring day.

On the ride to school that morning, Lizzie was positively shining. The reason for this was that Dana had broken up with Penelope so that she could date/sleep with some college person. Whether or not it was a college girl or boy is unknown, but Lizzie just cared about the fact that Penelope had finally ‘gotten what’s coming to her’.

“Like, seriously, I’m surprised that even Dana managed to put up with Satan for so long.” 

Josie remained silent for the whole rant. As much as she found Penelope annoying, it still sucked that Dana had done something like that. She knew that Lizzie thought Penelope was the worse of the two, but Josie really thought it was the other way around. 

+++

They got in late and Josie had to practically sprint into English. The teacher just gave her a stern look as she sat down. She noticed about halfway through the lesson that she was being stared at by Penelope, who was sitting in the back row. She’d almost forgotten that she was in this class, it was the only one that Josie had with her that didn’t also have Dana, and there was a noticeable lack of chatter coming from her table.

Josie tried to ignore her gaze but it felt like every time she looked up; she could see the girl staring at her in her peripheral vision. Honestly, what was her problem? Couldn’t she stare mopely somewhere else whilst she thought about Dana?

Josie left the lesson as soon as the teacher said they could. They had PE next and she just wanted to get dressed as quick as she could to avoid the relentless gossip and music in the changerooms. 

She didn’t notice the way Penelope turned to speak to her as she left. She didn’t see Penelope frown and look inside her bag, where a letter sat.

+++

She was on her third lap around the football field when she heard a voice call out her last name. She ignored it and kept running. They were probably calling out to Lizzie. 

Even if Lizzie was in Biology right now, and should be nowhere near the football field.

“Saltzman, hey!” She recognised the voice this time. Penelope. She found herself slowing. Footsteps ran up behind her.

“Saltzman, can we talk?” Josie frowned and stopped.

“You know, you should come up with a better nickname for me, I have a sister.”

Penelope rolled her eyes.

“Considering I would rather be dead than talk to your sister without insulting her, I think I’ll stick with this one. But that’s not the point.” 

Penelope stopped in front of her. She was wearing a blue jacket with a yellow stripe on it. She somehow still managed to look annoyingly pretty even though it was PE and they were running laps. 

Stop staring at her Josie, she’s not a painting, she is a human, one that your sister hates.

“Look, I appreciate it, but it’s not gonna happen, okay Saltzman. No offense, but I don't think you're my type.” Josie rose an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” Penelope looked strange. Almost…uncertain? No, that was not possible. She was Penelope Park. She’s never been uncertain about anything in her life and never will be. 

“It may seem like Dana broke up with me for that college idiot, but I promise you, she’ll be running back before long. So, while it’s really nice that you think my eyes are really pretty and that I have ‘an adorable turtle smile’, I’m not into you like that.”

What the hell? Those words sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite place them. But it felt like she’d written them somewhere. But where would she write about Penelope Park?

Oh.

Oh shit.

She looked at Penelope’s hand and there it was. The letter. 

Penelope had somehow received the letter. The one Josie had written when she was 14. 

Josie felt sick. Then lightheaded. Then terrified. Then embarrassed. Then sick again and-

She fainted.

+++

“Saltzman, hey, hey you okay? Hey, hey wake up! Josie, wake up!” 

Josie groaned. Her head hurt. She opened her eyes to see Penelope awkwardly hovering over her, concern on her face.

Wait. Concern? Why was Penelope Park, the actual devil concerned?

“Hey are you okay?”

“What happened?”

“Well, I’m not a scientist but I think you might have fainted Saltzman.” Josie rolled her eyes and winced, clutching her head. 

“Here, take my hands, come on.” Josie took Penelope’s hands and allowed herself to be pulled into a sitting position. She ignored how soft Penelope’s hands were.

Well, this day was off to a killer start. 

Unfortunately for Josie, it was only getting started.

She turned her head to the side and saw Rafael walking across the field. He seemed to be looking for someone. She looked at his hand.

He was holding a letter.

Which meant that he was looking for her. 

She looked up and made eye contact with him, and immediately he increased his speed towards them.

Shit. 

This was quite possibly the worst day in the history of days. 

She quickly ran through what might happen in the near future. 

Raf confronted her, she admitted that she had liked him, Lizzie found out, Lizzie burned her at the stake and then left her burnt corpse to be fed on by birds, and her name went down in history as the worst person ever. 

There was no way that this could possibly end well.

“Saltzman? Are you okay, you look sick, please tell me that you aren’t gonna throw up.”

In Josie’s defence for what she did next, she had just realised that all her secret love letters had been released, had fainted, and then seen her sister’s ex-boyfriend with one of the said love letters. She was very cleared not thinking straight.

So, she made a very stupid decision.

She grabbed Penelope’s face and kissed her.

She wasn't sure if she was more surprised at herself for doing it, or at Penelope for not immediately pushing her away. In fact, Penelope immediately responded, kissing her back hard. 

In that moment, Josie lost all track of any thoughts she'd been having before. Because, wow, this was definitely the best kiss she’d ever had. Well, considering her only experience had been Hope during a game of Truth or Dare when they were literally 12, that wasn’t exactly saying much, but Penelope was a really good kisser. 

It sort of felt like she was being electrocuted. But in the best way possible. Her stomach was doing backflips and her legs almost felt like jelly. Penelope's lips were really soft and honestly, Josie sort of never wanted this moment to end.

It took Josie a few seconds to remember what was going on when she pulled away. Penelope’s eyes were slightly glazed over and she somehow looked so pretty.

Josie saw Raf in the corner of her eye and everything rushed back. 

Well, that was a terrible idea.

Josie should have explained what was happening, but instead, she panicked.

Of course, she panicked.

“Uhh, thanks. I’m sorry.” 

Then she sprinted away to find the first bathroom she could lock herself into, leaving a very confused Penelope on the ground. 

+++

Josie wasn’t quite sure how long she stayed in that toilet before she heard her name get yelled. Thankfully, this time, it wasn’t Penelope. It sounded like Hope and some other guy. She wasn’t really sure why a guy would be with Hope, but before she could figure it out, they spoke.

“Josie, we know you’re in here. Are you okay?”

Josie sighed.

“I don’t know.” 

“Does the reason you’re in here have anything to do with this?” 

Two letters appeared above the door.

The amount of times Josie had wished that she was buried under the ground today was really getting out of hand. 

She had sent five letters, four of which were to people at this school. And if she'd already seen Rafael and Penelope, that left Hope and MG.

She opened the door and walked out, avoiding eye contact with Hope and MG, focusing on herself in the mirror. She looked like pure shit. Her face was pale, her eyes were red and watery, and there was a little bit of lipstick on her upper lip. She wiped it off quickly, not needing any reminders of her kiss with Penelope.

“Why are you both here?” She asked. She saw Hope and MG look at each other.

“Well, we were both looking for you, and when we saw each other’s letters, we decided it was best to find you together. You should really check your phone though. I’ve been trying to talk to you all day,” Hope explained. 

“Then Penelope told us that you’d run into the bathroom. She said you were acting strange and that we should probably check on you,” MG continued. Josie just nodded and stared at herself in the mirror. 

How had all of this just happened to her? Honestly, it seemed like the world was sort of against her. 

She guessed that she should probably explain what was going on to Hope and MG.

“Look about the letters, I wrote them years ago. MG, I wrote yours after Freshman Homecoming, I thought you were nice and I liked your dancing. Hope,” she paused. How exactly do you tell your best friend that she was kind of your awakening to the fact that you like girls?

“I was kinda just figuring out that I was pan, and well, you’re really pretty and I don’t know, I just sort of had a crush on you." Hope smiled slightly. Josie cleared her throat and continued.

"But those feelings are gone now, for both of you, okay? Hope, you’re my best friend, and MG, I don't really know you, but I just don't like you like that anymore,” She saw him nod.

“And I don’t know how the letters got out but, it wasn’t exactly my plan.” Hope stepped closer to her.

“It’s okay Josie, we don’t blame you for being a human person with feelings. And we both sort of guessed these letters weren’t meant to be sent.” Josie nodded and realised that she was crying. Great.

Hope hugged her and rested her chin on Josie’s shoulder.

“I got you girl. It’s okay.” Josie laughed. MG awkwardly stepped forward too.

“I hate to ask, but I’m guessing other people got your letters?” 

She sighed.

“Yes. Penelope and Rafael got them.” Hope gasped.

“You had a thing for Penelope?” Josie blushed.

“Yes, but once again, it was when I was like 14.” Hope grinned and then paused.

“Wait, but Rafael. When did you write that one?” Josie took in a deep breath. 

“Two months ago."

MG and Hope spoke at the same time.

“Oh shit.”

Hope bit her lip.

“So, I’m guessing that Lizzie doesn’t know.” Josie spun to face both of them, shaking her head frantically.

“No, no, and she can never know, alright? She would kill me.” MG nodded solemnly.

“Yeah she would.” 

“Okay, what about Penelope. I’m guessing you talked to her.” Josie blushed and looked at the ground.

“More like she confronted me and then I fainted, and then I saw Rafael coming to speak to me and then I panicked and kissed her.” Hope and MG both exclaimed very loudly at this.

“Damn, you got game.”

“Did you think she was a good kisser?” Josie glared at her best friend.

“Hope!”

“That’s not a no.”

Josie groaned and ran her hands through her hair.

“I have no idea what to do, so I think the plan at the moment is just get to the end of the day and then freak out.” Hope nodded and put her hand on Josie’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m going to help you through this. You’re gonna be okay.” MG nodded behind Hope’s shoulder.

“I know we aren’t like, really friends, but you seem really cool. If you need me, I’ll have your back.” Josie smiled.

“Thanks guys.”

+++

Honestly, Josie had no clue how she made it through the rest of the day. Her next class was Chemistry, of course, and it felt like the longest 80 minutes of her life. Hope was on one side of her, but Lizzie was on the other and Josie was terrified that somehow, she was going to know about the letters and just kill Josie. 

Then there was Penelope and Dana. Dana was at the back of the room surrounded by her friends, none of them shutting up. Penelope was with a curly haired boy that she swore she’d seen talking to Rafael before, but could not put a name to. It was the quietest Penelope had been in chemistry.

Josie never actually saw Penelope look at her, but she could somehow still feel her gaze.

At lunch, she left the school with Hope to go get Subway. She really didn't want to chance an interaction with Rafael. 

When the day ended, Josie was incredibly glad that Lizzie was going to drive her and Pedro home. In her current state of mind, she’d definitely end up crashing if she tried to drive herself.

She raced inside so quick that she didn’t even take the time to say hi to her dad. As she sprinted up the stairs, she heard her dad ask what had her in such a rush.

“Who knows?” Lizzie replied.

The first thing Josie did when she got to her room was search for the box with the letters. For some reason she still had a hope that it was sitting in her cupboard and that maybe she had just violently hallucinated the whole day.

No such luck. 

Josie flopped down on her bed face down to try and run through the events of the day again. 

1\. Her letters had somehow, magically gotten out.

2\. Everyone that she had sent them to, had received them

3\. She’d kissed Penelope Park on the running track to avoid a confrontation with Rafael

4\. She’d ignored Rafael the whole day

5\. MG, a guy she’d never talked to now had her back

6\. Hope knew about her childhood crush and had been fine with it

7\. Lastly, and most importantly, Lizzie had absolutely no idea about any of these events, and she could never know

Josie screamed into her bed. Honestly, there was no way that she’d hallucinated it, this was way too advanced for her simple brain to come up with.

She rolled over to stare at the ceiling. Okay, the letter she’d addressed to the boy at camp was addressed to the camp, so he couldn’t get it. So, hopefully there were no more surprises coming her way.

She wondered what Raf was thinking now. How he’d reacted to finding out about Josie’s feelings. She imagined him, here in her room, smiling at her.

“So, you love me? That’s pretty cute Josie.” She shook her head.

“No, I loved you. I’m mostly over it now. Besides, you were Lizzie’s and I’m never going to act on that.”

“But what about how you said that you imagined me running my fingers through your hair? How hot you thought I looked when I was playing football? How you wanted me to kiss you so hard that-”

“-No! No, we aren’t going there. Besides, you aren’t even real. The real you is across the street, in his house minding his own business. He’s probably completely forgotten about the letter already.” 

The doorbell rang. Then her dad called out.

“Josie, Raf is here to see you!”

Well, never mind about that. 

She considered talking to him. Then decided, nope, not happening. She would go to her grave and this conversation would still not have happened. 

She opened her window and climbed out without a second thought. She’d done this plenty of times before, so she could climb onto the roof and just have some peace. It was so pretty up there. 

Driving was not an option. However, her bike was out back and she could definitely ride that away from Rafael and off to the diner. Maybe a nice chocolate milkshake would calm her mind. 

Yes, that’s what she should do. Just have a chocolate milkshake and ignore her problems. This was exactly what she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the letters are out, and Josie just kissed Penelope! Now we're in the fun bit, which includes Josie and Penelope being idiots, and going about things in the most convoluted way possible. Next chapter is literally nothing but Posie, so that's awesome!  
> Until next time, hope y'all are having as much fun reading this as I am writing this!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie has an encounter with Penelope at the diner, and a proposition is offered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, and I am here to giving you over two-thousand words of Posie bantering with each other!  
> Also, if you are reading this fic for Hizzie, don't worry, they'll be here, you've just got to wait a little. They won't be as main as Posie, but they'll be there, just you wait.  
> With that, off you go to read the chapter.  
> Enjoy!

Josie sat down at the diner and immediately pressed her head into her hands. Ugh. Why did she have to deal with this? 

And how had those letters even got out? They had been in her hatbox, safely stored away. The last time she’d gone through them was on Friday afternoon. Wait, had she packed them up after that? She racked her brain. She didn’t remember doing so. Ugh, why had she been so stupid as to have put addresses on them? 

Then she remembered. She’d given her dad a box of stuff to send to charity on the weekend. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the stuff she’d been throwing away, what if the letters had ended up there? And what if some well meaning charity worker had seen them and decided to send them? 

Well, that was one way it could have gone. 

And honestly, the whole ‘how’ of this equation, was really unimportant. 

She took her first sip of the milkshake and involuntarily smiled at how good it was. Yes, this break at the diner was exactly what she needed. 

“Hey Saltzman.” 

Josie nearly choked on her drink.

Because sitting to her left was none other than Penelope Park. 

Was she being stalked? Or did coincidence have it in for her? 

The waitress came up to them.

“Can I get you two anything else?” Josie spoke quickly.

“She’s not with me!” She didn’t really mean for it to come out as violently as it did, but today had been rather stressful. 

Penelope didn’t so much as flinch.

“I’d like a strawberry milkshake please,” she said with an enormous smile on her face. Josie had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

Once the waitress had left Josie turned to Penelope.

“What are you doing here?” Penelope just smiled.

“Does a girl need an ulterior motive to come to a diner? Maybe I just wanted a milkshake.” Josie just stared at her. 

Penelope finally shrugged and her smile faded slightly.

“Actually, I was looking for you. Your little brother told me you’d probably be here.” Josie reminded herself to slap Pedro and stop him from interfering with her love life.

“You’re lucky Lizzie didn’t see you there.” Penelope shrugged again.

“Your sister doesn’t scare me. I can handle being called Satan.”

Penelope then turned to face Josie with a serious expression on her face.

“I just want to make it very clear that while I am extremely flattered, but I am not exactly looking to date anyone else. As you know, as I’ve told you, Dana and I are just going through a rough patch and-”

Josie cut her off.

“Are you trying to reject me?”

“Well, yeah because last time it didn’t really seem like you got the memo.”

Josie rolled her eyes for real this time.

“I don’t want to date you Penelope Park.”

“Well, you say that, but back at the track it seemed like you were trying to get another message across, you know, with the whole making out with me thing?”

Josie found herself blushing and she looked away. She heard a drink getting placed on the counter and Penelope’s voice.

“Thanks Joan.” 

Okay, she really needed to clear this up. Penelope was definitely getting the wrong idea here and Josie could not let that happen. 

She did not like Penelope Park. Not at all.

“Listen, here’s the thing. I don’t actually like you. The only reason I kissed you was so that someone else didn’t think that I liked them.” 

Penelope frowned.

“Well, I may be the queen of confusing plans, but I have to say Saltzman, that’s pretty confusing. Care to tell me who the mystery person is?”

“What?”

Penelope shrugged.

“I mean, it’s only fair. You kissed me so you tell me who this other person it. Otherwise I might just go around thinking that you are secretly madly in love with me.” 

Why was Penelope Park like this? And how had Josie ever had a crush on her? She was so irritating and self-obsessed, and attractive, and a really good kisser, and occasionally funny, as well as smart, and Josie really needed to stop listing her good qualities because she was defeating her own argument. 

Penelope Park was incredibly infuriating.

“I don’t owe you anything.”

“Not everyone gets this for free Saltzman.” 

“Gross.”

“I mean, I could just show Lizzie the letter you wrote me. I’m sure she’d love that.”

Josie was stunned. Penelope was such a jerk. 

“That’s low Penelope, even for you.”

“Oh, darling you know you’d love it if I went low. But we’re getting off topic. Tell me who the mystery person is or Lizzie will find out that you wrote me a love letter.”

Josie scowled. There really was no way out of this.

“Okay, but no one else finds out about this.” Penelope held her hand over her heart.

“I promise.”

Josie took a deep breath.

“Rafael Waithe.”

Penelope looked stunned.

“Rafael? The guy who goes around calling himself the Alpha of the football team? The one who kicked my cousin Jed from the captain position?” Penelope’s eyes widened.

“The same guy who dated Lizzie Saltzman for nearly a year?” 

Josie blushed and looked down. 

“Yeah, he also got a letter, and I really don’t want to talk to him about it because it’ll just be a whole mess.” Penelope frowned.

“Wait, so I’m not the only one who got a letter? I feel offended Saltzman. I was staring to feel special, and now I hear you wrote two letters.”

“Don’t go feeling so special, I wrote five letters.”

Penelope gasped overdramatically and clutched at her chest.

“Josette Saltzman wrote five people love letters? Guess you aren’t the innocent girl that everyone thinks you are.” Josie bit her lip. Penelope wasn’t exactly wrong although, she wasn’t sure people thought of her enough for her to have a reputation like that. 

“Well, yeah I guess I’m not.” 

“So, who are the other three?” 

Josie groaned. Penelope was extremely persistent. 

“If I tell me will you finally leave me alone?” Penelope shrugged and gave Josie a half smile. 

“Maybe, maybe not.” 

Why on earth was she doing this? And why did Penelope’s teasing tone and smile make her feel like that?

“Okay, so one guy I met at camp, MG, -”

“MG?” Josie glared at Penelope.

“Okay, sorry no more interruptions, just surprised that you’d be into him,” Penelope relented holding her hands up in surrender.

“And then one to Hope.”

Josie closed her eyes as she awaited Penelope’s reaction. There was no way that the raven-haired girl was going to find that fact anything other than completely hilarious.

“Woah, wait. You had a crush on Hope? Oh, that’s too good. You had a crush on your best friend. You had a crush on Hope Mikealson. How’d she react to that?”

“I explained to her that I didn’t have a crush on her anymore and she understood.” 

Penelope nodded, still grinning like Josie had given her a free milkshake. 

“Okay, so clearly while your taste in boys could do with a little tweaking, your taste in girls in immaculate.” 

“Okay, MG is a nice guy, and Raf is actually not that bad. He’s actually a really great guy”

Penelope rose her eyebrows.

“You could do so much better than your sister’s leftovers.” 

Josie finished her milkshake, and ignored Penelope's last comment. She did not need relationship advice from Penelope Park.

“Are we done here? Because I came here to relax, not be interrogated by Satan herself.”

Penelope grinned.

“I knew there was fire lying around there somewhere Miss Saltzman.” 

Josie rolled her eyes and stood to get up. Hopefully, she could get home without Rafael seeing her, and maybe she could even convince Pedro and Lizzie to have a movie night with her. 

Just as she was about to leave, Penelope called out to her.

“Hey. Saltzman?”

“What?”

“Is that sparkly bike out front your ride?” Josie folded her arms.

“So what if it is?” Penelope shrugged.

“I could give you a ride home. Consider it a thank you for spilling your guts about your love letters to me.” 

Josie found that, surprisingly, her first reaction wasn’t to reject the offer. She didn’t really want to ride all the way home; she was really tired. And she’d seen Penelope’s car, it was nice. 

“Fine, but don’t let Lizzie see you. I don’t want to be interrogated by her as well.” Penelope stood up.

“Won’t be a problem, she’s out with her friends right now.” 

Josie frowned.

“How do you know that?”

“A lady never reveals her secrets. Now, shall we depart?”

+++

The ride home was thankfully quiet. Josie was really not in the mood to put up with more of Penelope’s poking. 

When they stopped outside Josie’s house, which Josie had to give surprisingly little directions to, she turned to Penelope.

“Well, thanks for driving me,” she paused, “And sorry for the whole jumping you in public.” 

Penelope grinned.

“Could’ve been worse right? Just don’t go making a habit of it and we’ll be fine Saltzman.”

Josie actually had to hide her smile. Why was Penelope Park being so nice to her? If it had been Lizzie in this situation, one of the two of them would be dead by now. Although, Lizzie would never have kissed Penelope in the first place.

“So, what are you planning to tell Wolf Boy?” 

Josie frowned.

“Who?”

“Rafael. You know, everyone calls him the Alpha, captain of the football team called the Salvatore Wolves. So, Wolf Boy.” Josie rolled her eyes, but with less annoyance this time. Penelope really had a nickname for everyone.

“I mean, I guess I’ll tell him the truth.” 

Penelope tilted her head.

“And that is? Do you like him, do you not like him?”

Josie shrugged and unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Not really your problem is it Penelope?”

Penelope bit her lip, but didn’t say anything. Josie took that as meaning the conversation was over and she climbed out of the car, taking her bike with her.

She had taken barely five steps when she heard the door open and suddenly Penelope was next to her, speaking.

“Hey, hold on!” Josie stopped as Penelope stood in front of her. Her eyes had a mischievous glint in them and Josie knew all too well what that meant.

Penelope had a plan.

There was no way this would end well.

“What if you didn’t tell him?”

“What?” Penelope shrugged.

“What if we let people think that we’re actually together? For just a little while. And not just Wolf Boy, I mean the whole school.”

No. No way. No way in a hundred years. This was not happening. Josie would never, ever say yes to this dumb plan. She should just say no and walk away.

“What would be in it for you?” 

“Well, for one, Dana went nuts hearing that Josie Saltzman, the sibling of her worst enemy, the girl who she thinks is a nobody, kissed me. If she thinks that we’re together, she’ll be back by my side in a moment.”

Josie folded her arms.

“So, you’re using me?” Penelope shrugged.

“Not that I’m keeping score, but you used me first Saltzman.” Josie groaned. Out of all the plans Penelope had ever come up with, this had to be the worst.

“Lizzie would kill me and you.”

“Well, first off: like I’d care that Lizzie was mad at me, and second: maybe you should stop worrying about what your sister thinks. Do something for yourself, something a bit crazy. You can't spend your whole life taking absolutely no risks. And I mean think about it, this would be one hell of a story to tell one day.”

Josie just sighed and turned away. 

“You don’t have to give me an answer right away, but think about it alright?”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

Josie pushed her bike against the house and escaped inside, sprinted up the stairs, and dropped onto her bed. 

Well, she hadn’t really expected that when she’d gone to the diner. 

Josie really had no idea of what to make of Penelope Park.

Lizzie, as well as half the school, seemed convinced that she was an unrelenting bitch. She’d always seemed focused on herself, and tearing others down. And it wasn’t like she’d been drastically different in their conversation, just more teasing, and less insulting, but it just felt like the Penelope that Josie saw wasn’t the one that everyone else did. Josie wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

And then there was the deal. It made sense for Penelope to offer it. People would be starting to hear about Josie kissing Penelope and Penelope had used jealousy against Dana before, why wouldn’t she use it now? And she knew Penelope would get a kick out of annoying Lizzie.

But what Josie didn’t understand was why she found herself wanting to take the deal. It would be an easy way to avoid Raf. Because if she talked to Raf, Lizzie would find out, and if Lizzie found out, her sister would hate her.

Josie didn’t think she could deal with that.

And Penelope wasn’t that bad. Josie got the feeling that if they did this, Penelope wouldn’t be a dick about it. And there was that thing that Penelope had said. 

Maybe you should stop worrying about what your sister thinks. Do something for yourself, something a bit crazy. You can't spend your whole life taking absolutely no risks. I mean think about it, this would be one hell of a story to tell one day.

The idea of fake dating Penelope made Josie a little breathless. It sent butterflies through her stomach. It was indeed, crazy. There was no way it would work. 

So, why did Josie find the idea so appealing?

Josie sat up, tucked her legs close to her chest, and opened up Instagram. Maybe it would get her mind off this mess. 

The first post was Lizzie’s. She was out with her friends, just as Penelope had said, and all of them looked so happy. The caption read: Out with the #girls!! Always down to do something crazy with you guys!!

Of course, Lizzie’s caption said that. Was Penelope Park a witch?

This was stupid. Josie was not going to fake-date Penelope Park. She was not. 

Josie flopped onto her pillow and screamed.

Okay, maybe she was considering it.

…

Okay.

Josie was totally going to fake-date Penelope Park so that she could avoid Rafael. And maybe because she wanted to do something crazy. Something Lizzie would do. 

She wanted to step into the light.

And if Penelope was going to give her a chance to do that, so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is obviously a plan that will go off with out any hitches and at the end Josie and Penelope can easily go their separate ways. Because, every fake dating plan always goes amazingly, right?  
> All jokes aside, thank you for reading that chapter, thank you for all the comments and the kudos on the last chapter, I can never thank y'all enough for all your positive feedback!  
> See you guys next time!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie steps into the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry for the wait, I've had a busy week and school's been tough to deal with. I'm going to try and post the next part a bit quicker to make up for it.  
> Anyways, I hope that you are all ready for some Posie! Also, Happy Pride Month to all of you!  
> Enjoy!

Josie walked into the school with a sense of purpose. She’d dressed in a red cropped shirt with a white collar and a blue and black pleated skirt. She’d put a little more work into her makeup in the morning. When she did her hair, she made sure that it looked perfect. If she was going to do this, she needed to look the part.

Lizzie had looked at her and frowned slightly when she saw her.

“Interesting look Jo. You trying to impress someone?” Josie got the suspicion that Lizzie had heard the rumors about her and Penelope. Josie considered telling Lizzie the truth, but she didn't really feel like having a shouting match this early in the morning. 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Alright, play coy. You can tell me who it is later.” Josie just smiled and sat beside Lizzie.

+++

She marched into school with a feeling of purpose. She saw Penelope immediately, but waited for Lizzie to disappear before approaching her. As much as she wanted to stand up to Lizzie here, she didn’t want to get killed by her sister.

“Penelope!” She called out. Penelope was by herself, leaning on a wall, phone in hand. When she heard Josie, she looked up. Josie could have sworn that she smiled, just slightly when she saw Josie, but that must have been her imagination. 

Today Penelope was wearing a white shirt, a very similar skirt to Josie, and a black cape. Of course, she was wearing a cape. That was such a Penelope thing to wear.

No. Penelope’s outfit was irrelevant right now. Josie needed to talk to about the deal.

“Saltzman. What can I do for you?” Josie stood right in front of Penelope. She took a deep breath and said the words. 

“Okay Penelope, let’s do this.” Penelope rose an eyebrow.

“You serious?” Josie nodded.

“Yep. Let’s do something crazy.” Penelope grinned and stood up off the wall. She pocketed her phone.

“Alright. Let’s do this. But first, do you trust me?” Josie found that for some reason, she didn’t even hesitate before answering.

“Yes.” Penelope nodded and placed her hands onto Josie’s face. Then she leant in and their lips met. 

This kiss was completely different to their first. That was had been rushed, full of surprise and desperation. It had still been really good, and so was this, just in a different way.

This one was soft. Josie felt like she was full of bubbles that were rising up through her body. Her lips tingled where they met Penelope’s. She sort of felt like she could fly.

When they pulled apart Penelope smiled at Josie, and Josie found herself smiling back, if somewhat more awkwardly. 

“Okay, I’m going to go to Trig now.” Josie cursed herself silently for not being able to be smoother. 

Penelope just grinned.

“I’ll see you around then.” Josie nodded and turned away, noticing immediately that pretty much the entire student body who was outside at that moment had just been watching them. It wasn’t really all that surprising, but Josie still felt a bit sick at the thought of having so many eyes on her. 

It felt like she was someone different, just for a moment. Like they were seeing her differently. Like she wasn’t Lizzie Saltzman’s twin sister.

Like she was Josie Saltzman, her own person.

And Josie had to admit, in that one moment, she felt a wild freedom that she had never felt before. 

+++

At lunch her and Penelope found a table away from the crowds of people to discuss the specifics of their new fake-relationship. 

“So, we need to have a contract, rules set up so that we both know where the boundaries lie,” Josie explained. Penelope rolled her eyes slightly.

“What happened to just doing something crazy?” Josie frowned.

“Well, I can still do that and want to know how to do it. I’ve been living a life of no risks for 16 years; I think I can take some baby steps.” Penelope shrugged.

“Sure, so what rules have you got for me?”

Josie opened her notebook and wrote down a title of Rules for Relationship.

“Okay, so number 1, you can’t kiss me anymore.”

Josie had thought long and hard about what boundaries she wanted during the day. Maybe a bit too hard, as the teachers had pulled her up for not paying attention at several parts, but still long enough that she knew what she wanted.

And as good of a kisser as Penelope Park was, as good as it made Josie feel to kiss her, Josie didn’t want to do it anymore. It felt a bit too dangerous. A bit too real. Penelope Park was a blazing wildfire, and Josie could not let herself be consumed.

Of course, there were other reasons, but that felt like the centre of it. 

“Woah, hang on, why not? Because no one will believe us if we don’t kiss, I mean did you see me with Dana?”

Josie cringed slightly at the image of Penelope making out with Dana in the middle of the cafeteria.

“Unfortunately.”

“You gotta give me a reason Saltzman.” Josie shrugged.

“Look, you may have been with pretty much half the school by now, but I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t want all my firsts to be fake.” Penelope frowned for a second and then nodded.

“Okay. No more kissing. What physical things can I do with you? Like, can I hold your hand, what’s the deal?” 

“You can hold my hand and put your arm around my waist.” Penelope nodded slowly. She frowned. Josie didn’t think she’d ever seen Penelope so serious about anything.

“Can I kiss your cheek?” Josie tilted her head, waiting for Penelope to explain.

“I mean, like I said, PDA is really something that all couples do, so you’ve gotta give me something.” Josie thought for a moment and then nodded.

“Okay, deal.” Penelope nodded and then suddenly grinned.

“I’ve got a good idea. I’m going to change your nickname. Just like you wanted.” Josie frowned.

“What to?” Penelope scrunched up her face in mock concentration.

“Hmmm, let me see, nicknames, so many choices.” Her face cleared and she sat upright with a joyous grin.

“I’m gonna call you Jojo.” Josie blushed. She had to admit it was sort of cute.

“Sure.” Penelope tapped the notebook.

“Write it down Jojo.” 

Josie rolled her eyes and started writing down the things they’d come up with.

1\. No kissing (Only hand holding, arm around waist, and cheek kissing.)

2\. New Nickname: Jojo

Josie looked up. Penelope spoke.

“Okay so we should also agree that no one knows about this relationship being fake. It’ll take away from the magic.” Josie nodded and then bit her lip, remembering.

“Hope will know, MG too. They both got a letter, and I told them about how I kissed you in pretend. They aren’t stupid, they’ll figure it out.” Penelope paused, then shrugged.

“Okay, so Mikealson and Milton know, fine. MG won’t tell anyone and if we have to, we can tell him that it’s fake. I trust him to keep a secret. Hope on the other hand, well she can be our confidante.” Josie looked at Penelope.

“Okay that works.” She paused and found herself asking a question that had plagued her a little. “How are you and Hope such good friends anyways?”

“We made out at a party last year,” Penelope said deadpan. Josie rolled her eyes. Of course, Penelope would deflect and make up a lie like that.

“Funny one.” When Penelope didn’t answer Josie looked bolt upright.

“I’m sorry, what? You weren’t kidding?” Penelope shrugged.

“Don’t worry JoJo, I’m not cheating on you with her. It was a one-time thing, no feelings involved, and it somehow led into a weird friendship.” Josie nodded slowly, processing. 

She felt sort of hurt that her best friend had never told her. Although, she guessed that as far as Hope knew, Josie had always hated Penelope. And she had tried to, per Lizzie’s requests, well, more per Lizzie’s orders, so that sort of made sense.

Penelope seemed to notice Josie’s reaction.

“Hey, if you’re upset that Mikealson didn’t tell you, it’s because I asked her not to tell anyone. The whole ‘making out with the loner girl’ wouldn’t really do wonders for my reputation,” she explained. Josie found that she felt slightly better.

She wrote down the next rule.

3\. No one knows about this (Except for Hope and MG sort of)

Penelope tapped the table.

“Okay, so you’re coming to all my parties. If we’re gonna do this, I need to be able to show you off to all the school. And you have to post about me on you Instagram story.” Josie glared at Penelope.

“I’ll come to your parties but I am not advertising this on my Instagram.” Penelope shrugged and leant back.

“Fine, I’ll just have to carry the both of us by posting about you twice as much.” Josie rolled her eyes and starting writing down the next rule.

“If I’m coming to your parties then you have to put your war with Lizzie on hold and drive me and Pedro home when Lizzie ditches us.” 

Penelope shook her head.

“I’ll drive you no problem, but I can’t just abandon my war with Lizzie. Otherwise that would mean letting her walk all over me.” Josie folded her arms.

“She’s my sister. She’s important to me, and as my pretend girlfriend, you have to care about things that are important to me. So, at least stop provoking her at every given moment. You can do your banter war thing, just stop needlessly fighting her. And no harsh insults. If I find her in tears because of something you've said, I'm breaking this off.” 

Penelope took a deep breath and frowned at the ground. Josie looked down at the notebook, waiting for an answer.

“Okay.” Josie let herself smile slightly.

“Good.”

4\. Josie goes to all of Penelope’s parties

5\. Penelope drives Josie and Pedro home

6\. Penelope stops being an unnecessary bitch to Lizzie

“Okay, is that it?” Penelope stared at Josie for a moment and then quietly said.

“I could write you little notes and give them to you every day.” 

Josie found herself oddly struck by the gesture. It seemed so…romantic, and unlike the Penelope Park who had girls and boys hanging off her every word. 

“Really? You’d do that?” Penelope gave Josie a half smile and a nod, not breaking eye contact.

As Josie wrote down the next rule Penelope started speaking again, this time less quiet and more rushed.

“I mean, Dana always wanted me to write her notes so, it’ll be good for that whole jealousy factor.”

Ah, of course Penelope hadn’t actually come up with that one herself. Josie felt almost disappointed. She had genuinely thought that maybe Penelope was just doing something nice, but no. 

7\. Penelope writes Josie notes

“Okay, I think we’re good,” Josie said, looking up. Penelope bit her cheek and frowned.

“You have to come with me to the ski trip.” 

Josie nearly choked on air. The Salvatore Ski Trip was notorious for being the time when the greatest number of students lost their virginity, over any other event. Josie had never been but she knew Lizzie had gone with Raf last year, as she had had to hear, in incredible detail about how good Raf was at sex. It hadn’t been too bad to hear, considering that she had been sort of in love with Raf at that point, although it did sort of keep her up at night a little thinking about it. But she was getting off topic.

Penelope wanted Josie to come on the ski trip with her.

Josie had never thought that she would ever think that sentence ever.

“You really think we’ll still be doing this by then?” Penelope shrugged.

“Think of it as a contingency. If we’re still doing this then, you have to come with me. No girlfriend in her right mind would ever let their significant other go on this trip without her.”

Josie frowned. The thought of going on the ski trip, with Penelope Park as her girlfriend, even if it was fake, made Josie’s stomach do backflips. It was terrifying. That did not count as baby steps.

But this would probably all be over by then, right? Penelope would be back to ruling the school with Dana, and Josie would be back to writing letters that would never be sent. Although, maybe this time around, she’d burn the letters after she wrote them.

If this was all over by then, as it would be, then Josie had no reason to worry. So, she said

“Okay.” Penelope grinned.

“Good.”

8\. Josie goes on ski trip (If we’re still together) 

After that, they cleared up a few things about what their cover story was, how they were going to tell Hope and just basic stuff.

Then they both signed the piece of paper and shook hands. Penelope scribbled a set of numbers into the notebook.

“My number, save me as something cute,” she said with a wink and a flirty grin. 

Josie just rolled her eyes and hid her smile.

Just as she was walking away Penelope called out to her.

"Hey, Jojo, one last thing." Josie turned to face her. 

Penelope gave her a cheeky grin.

"You aren't allowed to fall in love with me." Then she spun around and walked away.

Josie scoffed to herself.

Yeah, that wasn't going to be a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Josie, if only you knew what I have in store for you.  
> Hope that you all enjoyed reading this chapter, and that you're excited to see Josie and Penelope fake dating. I know I'm excited for it!  
> I'll leave you here, and hopefully, I see you soon!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie spends time with her family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I am here, and I come bearing a new chapter! It's slightly shorter than the others, but, it is still good, and we still get some Posie, as well as some Josie and Lizzie.  
> Enjoy!

That afternoon Lizzie drives them all home, and the first thing that Josie notices is that she’d acting weird. For one, she’s doing her fake smile, the one reserved for school and their dad only. For two, she keeps glancing at Josie out of the corner of her eye. 

Josie isn’t sure what it is, but she has the suspicion that the rumours about Josie and Penelope have definitely reached Lizzie’s end of the school. 

Josie knew that this was going to happen. She knew that eventually she would have to tell Lizzie what was happening. Well, not all of it, but at least the story they were going to be spinning to the whole school. That the two of them met at the diner a few times after school and became friends. Then after Penelope got broken up with, Penelope had asked Josie out. 

It wasn’t the most elaborate story but it made some sort of sense.

The point was, that Lizzie eventually had to find out. The problem was, that Josie really had no idea how to have that conversation with Lizzie. 

Lizzie hated Penelope, and anyone who was even remotely close to Penelope got froze out. That was just how it worked. And it wasn’t like Lizzie had no reason to hate Penelope, because she had many. Penelope had handed out hundreds of cutting insults to Lizzie, most hadn’t really done more than irritate Lizzie, but Josie knew well enough that some had gotten through.

Josie wasn’t even convinced that this was the right call. Wasn’t the whole point of this to stop Lizzie from hating her? Maybe she should text Penelope saying that it was over. Break them up and stop this before everything got out of control.

She wondered why the thought of doing so felt wrong. 

Thankfully, Lizzie spoke before Josie could spiral any more.

“I think we should have a Saltzman siblings’ night! Just the three of us, just watching movies. I’ve been out so much and I really need some time with my favourite people.”

Josie hated that she felt uneasy at the thought of the three of them spending time together. Just a few days ago she would have killed to spend some good quality sibling time with Lizzie. But now it felt like there was a weight on her shoulders. 

Pedro was already chiming in with great enthusiasm, so Josie faked a smile and nodded. 

“That’s a great idea Lizzie!” Lizzie beamed, not noticing Josie’s forced enthusiasm at all. Josie had always been better at lying to her twin than Lizzie. 

“I thought so too.”

+++

As Josie lay in her room waiting for dinner, she stared at her phone, trying to figure out who she should text. She really needed to talk about this to someone. 

Hope was the obvious option, she was her best friend, and Hope always knew what to do. But Hope had been away on a spontaneous trip with her father all day, and Josie had agreed with Penelope to tell Hope in person about their relationship.

She looked at her phone again, and then opened her notebook to look at Penelope’s number. 

Well, she had to text her sooner or later.

**Josie: Hey, it’s Josie.**

Josie put her phone to the side and stared at the ceiling, not expecting a reply quickly. Penelope was a busy person, who probably had hundreds of people clamouring for her attention at all times. Josie wasn’t going to get a text back quickly. 

Her phone buzzed and Josie ignored the fact that she grabbed it embarrassingly quick. 

**Unknown: Don’t you mean JoJo 😉**

Josie rolled her eyes.

**Josie: Sure**

**Unknown: So, what have you made my name**

**Josie: What?**

**Unknown: I told u to make it smthing cute**

**Josie: I could make it something like Satan?**

**Unknown: o come on I have urs saved as Jojo <3 <3**

**Josie: Fine**

**Josie: You are now Penelope 😊**

**Penelope 😊: add a heart or im breaking up with u**

**Josie: Use proper grammar when you text or I’m breaking up with you**

**Penelope 😊: low blow JoJo**

**Penelope 😊: but for my girlfriend, anything**

**Penelope 😊: (r u proud of my comma use)**

**Josie: I was and then you ruined it**

**Penelope 😊: ☹**

Josie found herself laughing as she texted Penelope. She hated to admit it, but Penelope was growing on her. She wasn’t actually that bad a person when she wasn’t insulting Lizzie or sticking her tongue down Dana’s throat.

Who knew, maybe after all this was over, they could still be friends?

Josie remembered why she had even texted Penelope in the first place. She needed to figure out how to talk to Lizzie. She frowned at her screen. Penelope wasn’t really the best person to talk to about Lizzie. Maybe she should just leave Penelope on read and do some homework.

**Penelope 😊: if u leave me on read, I will break up with u**

**Josie: don’t you have better things to do than text me?**

**Penelope 😊: better things to do than my girlfriend? I think not 😉**

**Penelope 😊: but if I am not wanted, I can go**

**Josie: no, it’s okay**

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**Penelope 😊: wow so clingy JoJo, careful I might start thinking that you like me**

**Josie: I hate you**

**Penelope 😊: Harsh words JoJo**

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**Josie: I should probably go soon though, dinner is soon, and then I’m having a movie night with my siblings**

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Josie hoped that Penelope took the bait and asked about Lizzie because she really had no other idea about how to transfer the conversation to that. 

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**Penelope 😊: ah, sister dearest and Pedro.**

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**Penelope 😊: how did they react to the news of our budding relationship**

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**Josie: I haven’t told them yet.**

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Josie placed her phone down face down on her bed, looking away from it. She had no idea about why she was so worried about this. It was just Penelope. Who cared what Penelope thought? 

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She checked to see if there was a new message after a minute, and to her great dismay, there was nothing. 

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Shit. 

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She got up and started pacing. She knew Penelope wanted her to tell Lizzie. She knew that she had to for this to work. But she just couldn’t. 

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Her phone buzzed.

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**Penelope 😊: ah.**

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**Penelope 😊: let me guess, you’re scared that Lizzie is going to flip when she finds out**

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**Josie: sort of**

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**Penelope 😊: okay.**

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**Penelope😊: serious time**

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**Penelope 😊: so, remind me again why you are doing this, this being our fake relationship**

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Josie paused before she answered. She hadn’t really told Penelope the full reason for her doing this yet. But she figured it would probably be a good idea to do so, she wanted both of them to know what was going on.

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**Josie: Because I need to pretend to like you to avoid Raf, because I want to do something different, because I want to do step into the light and be seen as something other than just Lizzie’s quiet twin sister.**

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**Penelope 😊: First of all, thanks for being honest with me, second of all, if you want to step out of Lizzie’s shadow into the light, you need to start standing up for yourself**

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**Penelope😊: if she freaks out, she freaks out, and you just have to deal with that**

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**Penelope 😊: if it makes you feel better, in her eyes, im probably the worst you could do, so that means everyone after me will be an automatic upgrade to her**

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**Penelope 😊: Although, after going through the Penelope Park Girlfriend Experience, there probably won’t be anyone after me**

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**Josie: In your dreams Penelope**

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**Penelope 😊: Oh please we’d be doing much more interesting things in my dreams 😉**

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**Josie: I hate you**

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**Penelope 😊: I know**

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**Penelope😊: the point is, she’s going to find out either way. I don’t really care if you tell her or not, but maybe take this as an opportunity to ‘step into the light’ as you put it**

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**Josie: Thanks, for the advice. I think I might not tell her about it tonight.**

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**Penelope 😊: okay**

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**Josie: I’ve got to go, see you at school tomorrow?**

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**Penelope😊: Definitely. Tomorrow is where the fun begins 😉**

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+++

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The movie night was great. Josie had honestly not had such a fun time in ages. They decided to marathon Harry Potter, which meant Josie being a nerd about it, Lizzie talking about how cool it would be to have magic, and Pedro getting excited every time there was a fight.

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It felt so right. It was times like these that Josie really loved her siblings. As annoying, and as distant as they could be, they were her family. They were what mattered most to her.

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No matter what happened with Penelope, she could not lose Lizzie. Her twin was everything to her.

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Pedro fell asleep ten minutes into the fourth one, so Josie nudged Lizzie.

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"Hey, it's getting late, we should probably go to bed soon." Lizzie looked at the time on her phone and nodded.

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"Wow, I did not notice the time. Yeah, you're right." Josie looked at Pedro.

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"You think we should wake him up?" Lizzie looked down at Pedro, then she looked up at Josie with a grin.

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"Let's carry him upstairs, just like we used to do when we were kids." Josie laughed quietly.

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"He was five and weighed so much less back then." Lizzie shrugged.

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"Come on Jo," she said, giving Josie her best pout. Josie rolled her eyes, smiling at her sisters antics.

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"Okay fine you win. But we both know that my pouty face is superior." Lizzie nodded, back to grinning.

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"Come on."

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Josie and Lizzie carried him upstairs to his bedroom. It was hard, Pedro wasn’t five anymore, and they were trying their best not to wake him, but in the end, they made it.

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Lizzie turned to Josie.

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"I told you we could do it."

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Josie just smiled. 

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Just before Josie and Lizzie went into their respective bedrooms, Lizzie stopped and turned to Josie. She bit her lip and started whispering across the hall.

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“I’m sorry that I’ve been distant recently Jo. I’ve been coping with the Rafael situation, and school, and I just don’t really know how to handle it.” Josie gave her sister a soft smile.

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“It’s going to be okay Lizzie. I’m always here for you.” Lizzie smiled, but it seemed hesitant. She opened her mouth, as if she was going to say something, but then closed it, shaking her head slightly. 

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“Night Jo.”

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“Night Lizzie.”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so that's the chapter! Next update we will see Posie as official (fake) girlfriends, and we get to see Hope's reaction to their plan, and I think you'll all enjoy it a lot. But for now, leave a comment below telling me what your favourite part of this fic has been so far, I would really like to know!  
> I'll see you guys soon!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day One of Penelope and Josie's Epic Fake-Dating Extravaganza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm back, and we get to see Josie and Penelope in their fake relationship, as well as some reactions from the other important people in Josie's life.  
> Enjoy!

On Wednesday morning, Josie is absolutely terrified. Today is the day that her and Penelope officialise their relationship. How on earth is she meant to survive through the whole day?

Maybe she should just tell her dad that she isn’t feeling well and that she wants to stay at home.

She almost did, but then her phone buzzed.

**Penelope 😊: Can’t wait to see you at school today JoJo!**

Josie groaned and rolled onto her face. Then she screamed into her pillow.

She needed to get up. She needed to stop being a wimp, gather her courage, and go pretend to be in love with Penelope Park.

She could do this.

+++

Josie wasn’t quite sure as to when she was going to see Penelope. To be perfectly honest, she had no idea how this was going to work. Forget the rules they’d made up; she needed a full-on timetable. And a way to read Penelope’s mind, because she was definitely going to do something that Josie would not be prepared for at all.

As it happened, Penelope was waiting for her. As Josie walked through the corridor to her locker, she saw the raven-haired girl leaning against it. Josie took a deep breath and continued down the hall.

Penelope was looking down at her phone, but when she spotted her, she gave Josie a dazzling smile.

“Hey JoJo!” Josie pretended to not notice everyone in the hallway watching them out of the corner of their eyes. When she reached her locker, Penelope reached her arms around Josie and kissed her on the cheek, leaving her arms draped around Josie’s neck.

“Miss me?” Penelope asked, tilting her head. Josie just blushed.

“Of course, babe.” As the pet name left her mouth, Josie blushed even harder. Penelope just grinned and released her grip on Josie’s neck, opting instead to lean on the locker next to Josie’s.

Josie pretended that she didn’t mess up her code twice. 

Penelope bounced on her toes.

“So, are you going to sit with me at lunch today?” Josie shook her head.

“Not yet. Also, remember that we’re talking to Hope at recess.” Penelope nodded.

When Josie had gathered all her stuff and shut her locker she turned back to Penelope.

“See you at recess?” Penelope tilted her head.

“Actually, I was thinking I could walk you to your first lesson. History, right?” Josie nodded, surprised that Penelope already knew her timetable. Sooner or later she needed to find out where it was that Penelope got all her information from. 

Penelope linked her arm with Josie’s and they made their way through the corridors. Josie was actually feeling sort of proud of herself. She was successfully fake dating Penelope Park. 

Why was she so worried about this again?

Then she saw one of Lizzie’s friends. Josie didn’t remember her name, she didn’t remember any of Lizzie’s friends names, but she knew her face. And judging from the look she was giving Josie, she had similar opinions to Lizzie about Penelope. 

Oh yeah, that's why she was worried.

Lizzie.

Penelope seemed to notice that something was off, so she squeezed Josie’s arm.

“It’s okay JoJo,” she whispered, and Josie found that it actually managed to be comforting. 

When they reached Josie’s classroom, Penelope pulled Josie around to face her.

“I’ve got something for you,” she said with a smile, before handing Josie a note. On it, in Penelope’s perfect handwriting was the word JoJo. Penelope reached up and kissed her cheek. She hovered there for a moment before whispering.

“You’re doing great. I’ll see you later.” Then she turned to look at someone behind Josie. Josie suddenly realised why Penelope had walked her to class. Dana was in this class. Penelope wanted to make her jealous, obviously. 

As Penelope walked away, Josie pocketed the note. She would just have to get used to the whole ‘Penelope only being nice and romantic when it meant she could get a reaction from Dana’ thing. 

Josie wasn’t sure why that bothered her so much.

+++

At recess she was walking down the hallway, looking for Penelope so that they could go explain what was happening to Hope, when suddenly, she was yanked into a classroom.

The door shut behind them and Hope spun around. She had the angry best friend look on her face.

“So, when exactly were you planning to tell me that you were fake dating Penelope Park? And that you have not only kissed her once, but twice?” Josie wasn’t quite sure how computers felt when they were loading too much information, but she imagined that it must be something like this.

“Um, right now actually, so, wait, hang on,” Josie held up a hand as she tried to process everything.

“You know that we’re fake dating?” Hope rose an eyebrow.

“I’m not stupid Josie.” Josie nodded.

“Okay, hold on a second, Penelope wanted to be here when you found out, let me text her.” Hope shook her head.

“No need. I’ve been blowing up both of your phones ever since I heard someone say the words Josie, Penelope, and dating in the same sentence. She’ll figure it out.” 

Josie pulled out her phone, which she had switched to silent. Sure enough, there were many messages from Hope.

**Wonder Woman: JOSETTE SALTZMAN**

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**Wonder Woman: WE NEED TO TALK**

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**Wonder Woman: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed that you didn’t think to meNTION THAT YOU WERE DATING PENELOPE PARK**

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**Wonder Woman: Honestly, I leave for one day and this happens, I am never leaving you unsupervised ever again.**

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**Wonder Woman: Even if this is definitely fake**

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**Wonder Woman: Because you aren't in love with Penelope Park, and if she was in love with you, then she wouldn't be whining about Dana leaving her on her Snapchat, like one day ago.**

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**Wonder Woman: Either she’s playing you, you’re playing her (which sorry sweetie, you could never do that, Penelope Park is the queen of playing people), or you’re both playing everyone.**

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**Wonder Woman: Is this about the letters??**

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**Wonder Woman: Is this about Rafael?**

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**Wonder Woman: I know that both of you are in class but I stg if one of you don’t answer your phones, I will drag the first one of you I find into an abandoned classroom and interrogate the shit out of you.**

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Josie winced and looked up at Hope. 

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“In my defence, I was in class and my phone was on silent.” 

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Hope put her hands on her hips. 

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“In my offence, you are my best friend, and Penelope is my whatever, and you should tell me these things.” 

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“I’m your whatever? I feel touched Mikealson.” 

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They both turned to see Penelope strolling into the room with a mock offended expression. 

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“Okay, now the council is convened, can we discuss whatever the fuck you two think that you are doing?” Hope asked, rolling her eyes at Penelope. Penelope just grinned. 

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“So, the rundown is that Josie is dating me to avoid Raf and I’m dating her to make Dana jealous.” 

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Hope stared at the pair of them for about ten seconds, with an expression of utter disbelief on her face. The silence was broken by Penelope, who had decided to sit on the edge of a table. 

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“Also, she knows that you and I hooked up.” Hope’s head snapped to Penelope. 

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"Penelope!” She yelled, going red. Josie decided that now would be a good time to speak. 

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“It actually made a lot of sense to be honest.” Hope opened her mouth as if to say something, then she just sighed and pulled herself onto a desk. 

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“Okay, any other secrets that we would like to let out of the box, while we’re at it?” Penelope opened her mouth. 

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“Can we share other people’s secrets?” Hope glared at Penelope. 

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“Keep your mouth shut or I will break all of your fingers.” Penelope just grinned. 

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“Fine I won’t let that one out.” Hope rolled her eyes. Josie gave her a confused look, but Hope just gave her a little head shake. 

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So, it was a _secret_ secret. 

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Penelope’s eyes flicked to Josie. 

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“What about you JoJo? Anything we should know? Apart from the fact that you have a thing for fire?” Josie went red. 

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“I do not!” Penelope tilted her head. 

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“Sweetie, we take Chemistry together, I’ve seen you.” Josie and Hope rolled their eyes at the same time. There was a pause and then Hope started laughing. Josie had no idea why but soon both she and Penelope were as well. 

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Josie honestly had no idea on how to act. Her best friend and her fake girlfriend were in the same room, and they were acting like best friends. And now they were all laughing at Penelope’s dumb jokes. How on earth had this happened? 

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When they quietened down, Hope turned to Josie. 

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“Okay, so as your best friend, I’m only going to ask this once; are you sure you want to do this?” Josie nodded. Hope smiled. 

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“Right, well, I support you guys, in your endeavours to do whatever this is. Josie, I love you, you’re doing great. Penelope, leave me on read one more time and I will kill you. If either of you hurts the other, I will kill Penelope." Penelope threw her hands up. 

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"Why kill me? What if Josie hurts me?" 

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Hope just stared at Penelope. 

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"If Josie hurts you, then there was a reason." She smiled cheerfully at both of them. 

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"Okay, so I’m going to Bio.” With that, Hope jumped off the desk and walked out of the room, leaving Josie and Penelope alone. 

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Penelope grinned at Josie. 

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“Well, I think this is the start of something beautiful.” Josie rolled her eyes. 

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“Remind me to never let you two interact again. I think it might actually drive me insane.” 

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Penelope just laughed as the two of them left the classroom. 

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+++ 

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Just as school ended, Josie got a text from Lizzie. 

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****Sister Dearest <3: I went home early, and I took the car, so you need to help Pedro on the bus home.** **

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Josie frowned. She hoped Lizzie was okay. She only went home if something really bad had happened. 

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She ignored the feeling in her gut that this might have something to do with her and Penelope, and pulled out her phone. 

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Taking the bus was always a recipe for disaster, so luckily, she now had another option. 

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****Josie: Time for you to make good on our contract, I need a ride home.** **

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She didn’t even have to wait a full minute to get a reply back. 

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****Penelope 😊: I’ll meet you at my car. Jed can bus it home later.** **

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Josie sighed. Guess it was time to officially introduce Pedro to her new girlfriend. 

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+++ 

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As she walked him out, she was paying attention to his ramble precisely 0%. She was too busy freaking out over what may have sent Lizzie home, and the fact that she was going to be locked in a car with Penelope and her brother for 10 minutes. This was going to be hell. 

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Her brother pulled her out of her thoughts by yanking on her sleeve. 

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“Jo, why are we going to Penelope’s car?” Josie sighed and looked up at the car they were heading to. There Penelope was, looking at the two siblings with her most charming grin. 

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When she saw Josie looking at her, she shot her a finger gun. 

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“She’s driving us home.” She ignored Pedro’s gasp and excited squeal at the prospect of being driven by someone who was not Josie, and marched over to the car. 

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Penelope grinned at her. 

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“Hey JoJo, hey mini Saltzman.” Pedro pouted. 

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“You sound like Hope. Only my friends get to call me a nickname.” Penelope gave Josie a look as Pedro climbed into the car. 

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“Your brother’s feisty.” 

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“You won’t be able to work your charm on him. He’s heard too many stories about you,” she lied. Pedro was definitely going to be charmed by Penelope. He was just played hard to get to seem cooler. 

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Penelope was undeterred. 

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“Well, you’d gotten a front row seat to most of those stories, and I still got you to date me. Now, get in JoJo, don’t want you getting home late.” Josie just rolled her eyes. 

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Pedro was the first one to speak once they started driving. 

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“So, Penelope, why are you driving us home?” Penelope didn’t hesitate before answering. 

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“Well, you see, I’m sort of Josie’s girlfriend now.” Josie heard Pedro gasp. 

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“Josie? With a girlfriend? No way!” 

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“Hey!” Josie felt sort of offended that her brother had no faith in her romantic abilities. Even if he was right about them not actually dating. 

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Besides, hadn’t Pedro been the one giving her a speech about getting out more? 

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“Better believe it Pedro, because you might have to get used to me driving you guys home whenever Lizzie can’t.” 

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“Wait, you’re gonna drive us more? I won’t have to deal with Josie nearly killing us?” Penelope grinned. 

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“Yep.” Josie could hear the smile in Pedro’s voice when he replied. 

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“Okay, you can call me mini Saltzman.” Penelope looked over at Josie and winked, mouthing ‘told you so’. 

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Josie didn’t even try to hide her smile. She liked seeing this side of Penelope. 

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When the conversation lulled, Josie turned to Penelope. 

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"So, Jed will be okay?" Penelope shrugged. 

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"He just likes grabbing a ride with me, seeing as he lives just down the road from me. He'll live." 

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Josie nodded. Pedro pushed his head between the front seats. 

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"Wait, you know Jed? As in the football dude Jed who nearly broke Rafael's arm during that one game?" Penelope grinned and nodded. 

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"Yeah, he's my cousin. Bit of an idiot, but he's not a bad guy." Pedro nodded. 

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"He talked to me once. I was on the bus with him, and he told me that he'd let me join his superhero team." Penelope laughed. 

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"I would love to see that." The two of them started talking about who would be the best in a superhero team. They both agreed that Hope would be the leader, which made Josie roll her eyes. 

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"What am I in this scenario?" Josie asked eventually. Pedro frowned. 

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"I don't think you're a superhero." Penelope grinned at Josie. 

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"Maybe you're the damsel in distress and we save you from the clutches of evil," she suggested, with a wink thrown at Josie. Pedro made a noise in assent. 

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"Yeah!" Josie rolled her eyes. 

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"I'm glad you think I'm a capable human being." Penelope looked at Josie. 

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"Don't worry, after we've saved you, you can join the team and you can set things on fire." Josie rolled her eyes. 

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"You really need to get over that." 

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Penelope just laughed. 

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+++ 

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When they pulled up to the house, and Pedro leapt out, yelling ‘thank you Penelope’, Penelope leaned back against her seat. 

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“I thought you said he’d be hard to charm.” 

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“I may have been lying.” 

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“Josie Saltzman, a liar? I never thought I’d see the day.” Josie rolled her eyes. 

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"Shut up.” Penelope grinned at her and pulled out her phone. 

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“Here, smile, I’m putting you on my Insta story.” Josie rolled her eyes, but smiled none the less. Penelope nodded. 

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“Perfect.” She put her phone away and turned to look out the window. Her face fell. 

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“What?” Josie asked. Penelope turned to look at her, biting her lip. 

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“I think it might be time to talk to your sister.” 

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Josie looked out the window. Pedro was already inside the house, but standing at the doorway, looking like she wanted to crush the car with her mind, was Lizzie. 

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Shit. 

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Penelope patted Josie on the shoulder. 

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“Okay, so you need to get out of my car and talk to her. Remember, stepping into the light.” 

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Josie took a deep breath, nodded, and slowly crawled out of the car. 

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Time for an epic sister bonding session. 

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Or, more likely, an epic sister yelling session. 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sure Lizzie will take this so amazingly well. She's like Penelope's number one fan, right?  
> Hopefully, the next chapter will be soon. I think that one will be a fair bit shorter than usual, so I'll try and keep the updates quick.  
> Thank you for all the comments! Even just a single sentence or a couple of words makes my day, and I'm so glad that all of you are enjoying this. We've still got a long way to go.  
> See you all next time!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie talks with Lizzie about her and Penelope's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was meant to be mostly Lizzie and Josie arguing, but I got carried away, and now half the chapter is Hope, Penelope, and Josie on a group chat being idiots. So, hope you like that I guess!  
> Enjoy!

She walked up to Lizzie, slowly, trying her best to look slightly guilty, which wasn’t hard, because she was. 

She really should have just sucked it up and told her last night. Even if it meant getting yelled at then. Because then at least Lizzie would have heard about it from her.

Lizzie stared at her coldly, not saying anything when Josie stopped in front of her. She wasn’t even looking at Josie. This was really bad.

Lizzie leaving the school halfway through the day definitely had to do with Penelope and Josie.

Josie decided that it was best that she be the one to break the ice.

“I’m-” Lizzie cut her off by raising her hand. Then she turned and walked into the house. Josie followed, shutting the door behind her. She was so dead.

Lizzie made Josie follow her up to Lizzie’s room. When they were inside, Lizzie locked the door and turned to Josie.

Oh, here we go. 

1…2…3…

“Josette Saltzman I am absolutely appalled that you would do such a thing! How could you, I am your sister and not only did you tell me that you are dating someone, you decided that the person that you wanted to date was Penelope Park, A.K.A Satan, my worst enemy!” 

Josie decided that it was best to just let Lizzie go off at her. Interrupting would only lead to pain at this point.

“When I first heard the rumours, I thought nothing of it. I hear shit like that all the time, it was probably someone just trying to mess with my head, I thought Penelope was trying to get under my skin. When I heard the rumours about you kissing her again, I started getting worried. No one had any proof, and I still held out hope that you wouldn’t do something like this.

“I figured, if you wanted to tell me, you would, right? You’re my sister. So, I held the movie night, I gave us bonding time, and when you didn’t tell me, I assumed that they were lies. But then, I hear that you are waltzing through the hallways hand in hand with Satan herself, and then at lunch I overheard her telling her friends that it was official, that you were dating.”

Lizzie glared at Josie, who could feel that the rant was coming to a close.

“So, I told the office that I felt sick and drove home. I’ve been here, trying to understand, why on earth, my sister would abandon me for a bitch like Penelope fucking Park, the girl who fat shamed me, the girl who told me I am a black hole of time and energy, the girl who made fun of me when Rafael broke up with me. So, please Josette, inform me what is so good about Satan.”

Okay. Time to form an argument. And fast.

Lizzie had made some excellent points. Penelope had been a mega bitch to Lizzie a lot in the past. Josie could not deny that. 

She couldn’t tell the truth about her and Penelope's relationship; Lizzie wouldn’t take any version of it well. 

So, time to apologise a lot, and get defensive.

The Josie Saltzman special.

“Lizzie, I need you to know, that this wasn’t about hurting you. I didn’t do this because I wanted to betray your trust or anything.”

“Well, that’s too bad because guess what? You did.” 

Off to a great start.

“Lizzie, first of all, I didn’t tell you because I knew you would be mad, okay? I was scared and I’m sorry, I should have been upfront with you.”

“You should have. And if you knew that I’d be mad, why do it?”

Time to lie.

“Well, I like her. And she promised that if we were going to do this, she’d try and be better. She promised me.” Lizzie scoffed.

“Yeah right. And I’m madly in love with Landon Kirby. This is Penelope Park we’re talking about. She just lies and manipulates to get what she wants. She’s using you Josie, she just wants to get into your pants, and to make me mad. Once she’s done both, she’ll drop you and go sleep with someone else. She isn’t a good person Josie.” 

Josie was starting to get a little annoyed. She knew that there was no way to win this argument, but she couldn’t help but feel a little mad when she heard Lizzie talk like that about Penelope. She could be a bitch, and maybe she was known for breaking hearts, but she was just a teenage girl, and she was still a good person. 

And maybe after these past two days Josie was starting to see Penelope as a friend.

“Lizzie, please, just give her a chance.”

“No. I’m sorry Jo, but if you want to get your heart shattered into pieces, then please be my guest, but I won’t be there to pick up your pieces afterwards.” 

Josie felt a stab of pain at that. That was totally unfair. She knew Lizzie was being irrational, that she was really not in the clearest mindset right now, but Josie had been there practically every time that Lizzie needed her, and now Lizzie was planning on abandoning her sister just because she didn’t like who she was dating.

“I’ve always been there for you. Every time you’ve needed me, I have been there for you, but when I need you, suddenly it’s okay for you to just not be there for me. I just want you to let me have this one thing, and you're making it about you. This isn't about you Lizzie!" Josie felt out of breath. She'd never really yelled at her sister before, and never about things like this.

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“You’re being overdramatic Jo, and we both know I’m better at that. Get out of my room, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Lizzie picked up her phone and started scrolling through it like nothing had happened. 

Josie decided she couldn’t give up so easily. 

“Lizzie, you can’t just ignore me.” Lizzie didn’t move.

“Lizzie!” Josie rose her voice, just slightly. Lizzie looked up at her. Her face was cold, but Josie saw the tears starting to form in her eyes.

Josie couldn't ignore the way her stomach twisted at the sight of her sister crying. It nearly made her want to backtrack, let everything out, apologise a million times and tell Lizzie that she was right. But she somehow managed to hold her ground.

“What? You can’t say anything that’s going to make this better. So, just leave.” She looked down again.

Josie knew that staying any longer was pointless and so she stormed out of Lizzie’s room and into her own, making sure to slam her door. Their dad wasn’t home, so she could do it without the fear of her dad coming upstairs to see what was wrong.

Josie knew that Lizzie may have been the violent twin when it came to expressing emotions, but Josie wanted nothing more than to just set something on fire.

Maybe Penelope was right, she probably did have thing for fire.

But that’s not what was important in this moment! 

What was important was that Lizzie was being completely unreasonable and Josie was mad. 

She was mad because why did Lizzie have to take everything as a personal attack? Why couldn’t she let Josie just have one thing? 

And she knew why Lizzie was mad. She knew that Penelope had been horrible to Lizzie, but Josie had told Lizzie that Penelope would do better. Couldn't Lizzie just trust her?

And maybe Josie had been a bit harsh with what she’d said, but maybe Josie had needed to say it. Maybe Lizzie had needed to hear it. 

She groaned. Why couldn’t this just be easy? Why couldn’t there be a right and wrong here? 

She decided that she needed fresh air, and she needed to just get out of the house for a moment. So, she crawled out the window and onto the roof.

She had made herself a little place to sit up here for when she just needed a quiet moment. Sometime she even brought a pillow, a blanket, and a book up, just to read in peace.

It was a really nice day. The sky was a really pretty shade of blue and the clouds looked so fluffy. She swore that she could just reach up and pull them apart like cotton wool. 

She wondered what Penelope was doing right now. Probably hanging out with all her friends, having a great time.

She wondered what Penelope’s friends thought about the fact that she was dating Penelope. 

They probably thought that it was just another way to take a shot at Lizzie. 

They probably thought Josie was just another idiot who’d fallen for Penelope Park.

The thought of that hurt. She didn’t like the idea of people talking about her behind her back.

She pulled out her phone. There was a notification from Instagram.

(@pen_park has updated their story)

Josie remembered the picture that Penelope had taken of her in the car. So, she had actually posted it.

She looked at it. In the photo she looked annoyed with Penelope but was still smiling. Penelope had written My girlfriend <3<3 on the photo. Josie found herself smiling. It was kinda cute, she had to admit. 

Her phone vibrated.

**Wonder Woman added you and Penelope😊 to a group chat.**

**Wonder Woman: You may be wondering why I have brought you here**

**Wonder Woman changed the chat name to “The two idiots and Hope”**

**Wonder Woman: We have a group chat now, and no you cannot escape this.**

Josie laughed, wiping away some of the tears that had gathered on her cheek. Of course Hope would do something like this. 

**Penelope 😊 changed the chat name to “the two idiots who are madly in love with Penelope and Penelope”**

**Wonder Woman: in your dreams Penelope**

**Penelope😊: If I remember correctly u kissed me first**

Josie decided it was time to chime in.

**Josie: can you please refrain from discussing the time you two kissed**

**Wonder Woman: Oh good, the one person I can stand on this chat**

**Penelope😊: there r literally 3 people on this chat, and u r the 1 who added me**

**Josie: What have I told you about your texting grammar?**

**Penelope😊: okay i'm feeling attacked**

**Penelope😊 changed the chat name to “two jerks and Penelope”**

**Wonder Woman changed the chat name to “Penelope is a loser”**

**Penelope😊: changed the chat name to “Hope is a loser”**

Josie laughed again. What else had she really expected from them?

**Josie: STOP**

**Penelope😊: make me**

**Wonder Woman: Yeah, Penelope, do what Josie said**

**Penelope😊: fuck off Mikealson**

**Josie: I will break up with you if you don’t stop fighting**

**Penelope😊: you wouldn’t dare**

**Josie: try me**

**Wonder Woman: ooh a lover’s quarrel**

**Wonder Woman changed the chat name to ‘the lovebirds and Hope😊”**

**Josie changed the chat name to “Josie and the two people she’s going to set on fire”**

**Josie: Hope I will change your name in my contact to ‘annoying redhead’ again**

**Wonder Woman: don’t you dare**

**Josie: behave**

**Penelope😊: Yeah Hope behave or Josie will have to punish u 😉**

Josie actually choked on air, feeling her cheeks heat up. Damn Penelope Park and her overly suggestive comments.

**Josie: SKSHLSJHASLSLK**

**Hope: 1. You just broke her**

**Hope: 2. She is your girlfriend, not mine**

**Josie: PENELOPE**

**Penelope😊: what r u gonna do jojo**

**Josie: I will take the smiley face out of your name**

**Penelope😊: NO DON’T DO THAT ILL BE GOOD**

**Wonder Woman: look who’s in trouble now**

**Penelope😊: hope ill actually kill u**

**Wonder Woman: I would love to see you try**

**Josie: what did I just say**

**Wonder Woman: sorry no more fighting**

**Penelope😊: we’ll be good**

**Josie: good**

**Wonder Woman changed the chat name to “phosie”**

Josie frowned for a second, trying to understand what Hope had just done. When it clicked, she rolled her eyes. Hope and her knack for giving everything a ship name.

**Penelope😊: what the fresh fuck is phosie**

**Josie: Oh my god Hope I can’t believe you’ve done this.**

**Penelope😊: would anyone like to explain what phosie is**

**Penelope😊: it sounds like a type of noodle**

**Wonder Woman: It is all of our names put together**

**Penelope😊: like a ship name**

**Wonder Woman: yes**

**Penelope😊: I wasn’t aware we lived in Riverdale now**

**Penelope😊: also why does josie get 4 letters and i only get 1**

**Josie: hdfhkjdhs;sdkjlhlsdah**

**Penelope😊: do you do that often**

**Wonder Woman: yes all the time**

**Josie: Hope stop exposing me**

**Wonder Woman: You’re exposing yourself**

**Penelope😊: okay so r we keeping that as the chat name**

**Wonder Woman: yes**

**Penelope😊: fine**

There was a pause in the conversation. Josie thought that maybe it was over, and she would have to return to staring at the sky aimlessly, ignoring all her problems.

**Penelope😊: oh jojo, how did the convo with lizzie go**

Or, she could complain about her problems to her friends.

**Josie: not good**

**Wonder Woman: are you okay**

**Wonder Woman: do you need me to come over and keep you company**

**Penelope😊: do you need me to come over and fight her**

**Josie: hope, no, it's fine**

**Josie: Penelope, NO**

**Penelope😊: okay then**

**Josie: It’s fine, it just sucks that she’s making this all about her. I try to do one thing, and she just completely shuts me down.**

**Josie: and I know she has her own stuff to deal with, but I would really like my sister to be there for me**

**Penelope😊: You shouldn’t have to deal with that she should be there for you**

**Wonder Woman: give her some time, she’ll come around**

**Penelope😊: and if she doesn’t I can yell at her**

**Josie: no offence, but that will make everything worse.**

**Josie: her whole point is that I shouldn’t be with you, because she thinks you’re a horrible person**

**Josie: so, can you please just try and be nice to her?**

**Penelope😊: of course**

**Penelope😊: if that’s what you want me to do then I’ll do it**

Josie was thankful that Penelope didn't offer any resistance to Josie's request. She didn't want to have lied to Lizzie when she said that Penelope would be better. 

And she wanted Lizzie to like Penelope. Even if Penelope was just her fake girlfriend, a small part of her felt protective of her. 

**Wonder Woman: that’s gay**

**Penelope😊: fuck off hope**

**Wonder Woman: rude**

**Josie: thank you Penelope**

**Penelope😊: anything for my fake girlfriend**

**Penelope😊: well, this has been fun, but I have stuff to do**

**Penelope😊: so see yall later**

**Wonder Woman: okay fine bye**

**Josie: bye Penelope**

**Wonder Woman: I’m gonna go too, my dad’s been on me to do my Bio homework all afternoon**

**Wonder Woman: see you jo**

**Josie: bye Hope**

She put her phone back in her pocket and sighed.

They were right, Lizzie would eventually get over it. But Josie didn’t want this to just slide under the rug. She didn’t want this to just be another argument solved with time, not with actual communication.

While she regretted the way she had said things to Lizzie, she realized that she didn't regret what she'd said. She wanted to have something for herself, and she wanted her sister to support her.

The problem was, she had no idea how to broach the topic.

Okay, maybe a little time would be good. Just to get Lizzie not hating her as much. Then they could talk.

She just needed Lizzie not to hate her.

She just needed her sister by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry pals, Lizzie will come around eventually, she just needs a minute to calm down and to think.  
> Hope that you guys liked the Hope, Penelope, Josie friendship, it's one of my favorites, and I think that the show should have more of it. Once again, thanks for all the comments and kudos, they mean the world to me, and I know I've said that a million times by now, but it's true!  
> I'll see you soon!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie tries to have an uneventful afternoon. It does not exactly go to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I return with more of our favourite idiots and their fake dating shenanigans!   
> Enjoy!

The next week or so was completely different to anything she’d ever experienced. When she got to school in the mornings, Penelope was always waiting for her by her locker, and she always gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. Every time that Josie had History, Penelope made a point of walking Josie to her class, just to get on Dana’s nerves.

Penelope kept giving her notes, and every time she would smile at Josie and then let her eyes flit over to wherever Dana happened to be. Josie continued to not read the notes, although she did throw them on her desk at the end of every day. She should probably throw them out, they were most likely just blank paper anyways, but for some reason she wanted to keep them.

At lunchtime she had to find a new spot to sit, because sitting with Rafael was definitely not an option. Her and Hope usually hid out under a tree near the football field. It was nice, even if Hope gave her so much shit about dating Penelope. At least Josie could retaliate by mentioning that Hope had made out with Penelope.

She’d somehow managed to successfully avoid Rafael for the whole week, although she was sure that it had nothing to do with her, and more to do with the looks that Hope and Penelope threw him whenever they passed by.

Hope gave looks of ‘stay away from my best friend.’

Penelope gave looks of ‘stay away from my girlfriend.’

Josie wasn’t going to lie; Penelope was very hot when she was protective.

Even if it was just for show.

Lizzie was still ignoring her. In the mornings Lizzie didn’t even speak to her, not for the whole drive to school. In fact, Josie was sure that Lizzie was going out of her way not to even look at Josie. 

Josie wanted to close the gap, to get them back to talking, but she really had no clue on how to accomplish that. She figured that she’d give Lizzie some time to cool down. 

Although, judging from the look Lizzie gave her when she saw Penelope kissing Josie's cheek in the middle of the hallway, that was not going to be any time soon.

It came to Thursday afternoon, around 5 o’clock, and Josie was exhausted. School should not legally be allowed to go for this long. It felt like these past two weeks had been an eternity. How had it been that just over ten days ago she’d just been going to school normally and Penelope Park was nothing more than a minor annoyance?

Honestly, the passage of time was weird, and Josie was not here for it.

She checked Instagram. To little surprise, she found that Penelope had updated her story again. Once again, it was a photo of Josie with a cute caption. Every day Penelope had been updating all her followers with a picture of Josie. Josie honestly didn’t even know when she took them. Penelope was really dedicated holding up her side of the bargain. 

A knocking came from her bedroom door and her head shot up. Was it Lizzie, come to mend the bridge between them? Maybe they could finish their Harry Potter marathon and this whole drama could be resolved.

“Hey Jo, can you help me with something?” Pedro asked from her doorway.

She tried to hide her disappointment.

“Yeah sure Pedro, what is it?”

He twisted back and forth, fiddling with his fingers.

“Well, I have a bake sale tomorrow, it’s to raise money for they school, and dad’s going out, and Lizzie is awful at baking, so can you please help me?” 

Josie sighed.

“Yep, just give me a second and I’ll see you down there.”

He beamed at her, practically bouncing.

“Thanks Jo, you’re the best!”

He bolted out of the room and Josie sighed again, this time more audibly. Baking with Pedro always ended up with him abandoning her to go play video games with his friends.   
But who knew, maybe baking cupcakes could take her mind off things. 

+++

She had just started making the cupcakes, with Pedro standing to the side watching her get covered in flour, when the doorbell rang. She looked down at her hands.

“Pedro, can you get that? My hands are a mess.” 

He nodded and dutifully wandered over to the door. It was probably just some salesperson. Pedro was good at sending them away. In the meantime, Josie looked for something to clean her hands with.

“Josie, it’s your girlfriend!” Pedro called from the front door. Josie wasn’t quite sure how it was possible to choke on air, but she still managed to do it.

What the hell was Penelope doing here?

Penelope sauntered into the kitchen, a sly smile on her face.

“Hey JoJo. Baking, are we?”

Josie wiped her hands on a cloth, pointedly not looking at Penelope.

“Yes, it’s Pedro’s bake sale tomorrow. I’m making him cupcakes.”

Penelope nodded.

“Why aren’t you making something easier, like brownies? Those you can just cut into little squares really easily.” 

Pedro turned to Josie.

“Why aren’t you making brownies? She has a point.” 

Josie rolled her eyes. Of course, her brother took Penelope’s side. Letting the two of them meet was a terrible idea. 

“I’m making cupcakes, because I wanted to make cupcakes. Pedro, can you give us a second?” She asked, just needing him out of the conversation. He gave her a look that definitely meant, ‘no making out over the cupcakes’, before sprinting up the stairs.

She looked up at Penelope. She was dressed really nicely for just a stop by Josie’s house. She had a leather jacket on, her makeup was amazing, and she’d used a beautiful shade of red for her lips. 

Josie had to actively push the thought of kissing Penelope out of her head.

“What are you doing here Penelope? And why are you so dressed up?” 

Penelope frowned.

“Didn’t you read my note? I’m taking you to Kaleb’s party.”

Josie was surprised. She thought the notes were just for show. She hadn’t really counted on anything being written on them. 

“I can’t, 1. I’m making cupcakes, and 2. I’ve got to get a start on the Chemistry questions.” Penelope rolled her eyes.

“Okay, no one asked you to bring math into this equation darling. The questions are due Tuesday, you’ve got all week to do them. Besides, it states in the contract that you have to come to my parties. And Dana’s going to be there, so double bonus.”

Josie opened her mouth to reply, but then her dad entered the room.

“Hey Jo, who’s this?” He asked, frowning as he looked at Penelope. Penelope straightened up and gave Josie’s dad a blinding smile. Josie had to suppress an eyeroll at her obvious sucking up to him.

“I’m Penelope Park,” she said with the same voice that Josie had heard her use on teachers when she wanted to get out of class.

His eyebrows knit together.

“I think I’ve heard about you from Lizzie’s stories.”

Josie saw Penelope’s eyes flicker, and she could practically see Penelope thinking ‘oh shit.’

Penelope reacted smoothly though.

“Ah, I see. I would like to apologise for anything that Lizzie has said about me. I have not exactly been the best person to her, and I am trying to be better.” She smiled apologetically.

Josie actually found herself believing Penelope, even though she was sure it was all just lies to make him like her.

Josie’s dad didn’t let his guard down just yet.

“And why are you here?” Penelope looked at Josie.

“Well, I suppose that I’m Josie’s-”

“-Girlfriend. She’s my girlfriend.” 

Josie saw Penelope smile at her out of the corner of her eye.

Her dad looked surprised. Josie had come out to the whole family when she was fourteen, so her liking girls wasn’t exactly a revelation to him, but she supposed that her dating in general had to be a bit of a shock.

“Oh, um, well, uh, Josie, how long has this been going on?”

“Just about a week. You don’t need to worry dad.” 

He laughed.

“Josie, I’m your father, of course I’m going to worry.” He turned his gaze to Penelope.

“You’re gonna treat my daughters well, alright Miss Park. Josie and Lizzie. I don’t want to hear Lizzie coming home with stories of you bullying her again. And I don’t want Josie coming home with a broken heart either.” 

Penelope had the decency to look a little threatened by him. She actually looked serious about the conversation. It was a strange look on Penelope, but not necessarily a bad one. Josie actually kind of liked it.

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on hurting either of them for the foreseeable future.”

He nodded.

“Good. So, what are you here for?” He asked, tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter. Penelope didn’t even look at Josie before answering.

“I’m picking Josie up to take her to a party.”

Josie glared at Penelope before turning to her dad.

“No, I can’t go. I’ve got to finish the cupcakes for Pedro’s bake sale. And I have Chemistry questions. And I should probably start some English.”

Josie’s dad frowned.

“Jo, you said that homework was due Tuesday. And you don’t even have an English assignment yet.” 

“Dad.”

“Look, Dr Saltzman, there won’t be any alcohol, I’ll have her home by whatever time you need, it’ll be perfectly safe, Josie will be fine,” Penelope said, doing her best ‘I’m a good girl’ face. 

Her dad nodded and turned to Josie.

“Josie, I think you should go.”

Josie’s jaw actually dropped. Honestly, if her whole family kept siding with Penelope, Josie would lose it. At least Lizzie would probably always hate her.

“But dad, I need to make Pedro’s cupcakes.”

She didn’t really know why she was against this idea. Maybe it was just because she could only handle so much crazy in one week. Maybe she was just scared of going to a party and actually being seen as Penelope’s girlfriend. 

But there was a small part of her that thought it might be sort of awesome. A part that wanted to spend time with Penelope, and see what a party was actually like.

And obviously, her dad could see that side of her.

“Look, I’m sure that Lizzie can help. Her and Pedro can work together to do it.”

“Lizzie can’t bake.”

“Hope can,” Penelope interjected.

Both Josie and her dad turned to look at Penelope. Penelope folded her arms, shrugging.

“Well, she can. I’ve seen her banana cake, it’s really good.”

Josie’s dad turned to her.

“She’s right, Hope’s great at baking, just text her.” 

“Dad.”

He looked at her, and then turned to Penelope.

“Can you give us a second please Miss Park?” Penelope nodded, and walked out to the front of the house. 

Josie’s dad turned to her.

“Josie, I think you should go.” 

She sighed

“I know you do. But why?”

“Because I think that you want to go. I think that you want to go out and have fun with your girlfriend, but you’re trying to convince yourself not to. And look, I know that you want to do this thing for your brother, but it’s okay to take a break. You only get to be a teenager once, and I just don’t want you missing out.”

Her dad, like always, was right. 

“Okay. You’re right. Are you sure you’re okay with me going out though?” 

He laughed, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“Jo, Lizzie has been going out to parties since she was fourteen. I’ll just check a few things with Miss Park, and I’ll make sure that’s it’s safe” 

Penelope walked back into the house, holding up her phone.

“Hope’s on board.”

Josie’s dad smiled.

“Awesome, I’ll stay here until she turns up, and then I’d better get to work. Jo, you go get ready for the party, I want to talk to Miss Park really quick.” 

Josie nodded and went up to her room, unsure of what she should wear. If Lizzie was talking to her, and she wasn’t going to this party with Lizzie’s worst enemy, she’d ask her. Lizzie would definitely have about fifty different suggestions for everything. But, as that wasn’t an option, she was going to have to figure it out herself. 

She eventually settled on a blue shirt, a yellow ribbon choker, and a green plaid skirt. She put on a little makeup, just so that she didn’t look awful, and headed downstairs.

When Josie entered the room, she did not miss the way that Penelope looked her up and down. She couldn't tell if that meant that she looked good, or that Penelope couldn't keep her eyes to herself.

Her dad looked fairly content with the situation. 

“Alright, guess you two should be off. Have a good time girls! And be back no later than eleven. If I get back and Josie isn’t here, you’ll both be in big trouble.”

Penelope looped her arm around Josie’s waist and pulled her out the door.

This was going to be an interesting night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, off to the party! I wonder what's coming next for them? I'm sure it's nothing eventful because their lives are clearly so boring.  
> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and that you are all having a good day! And if you aren't having a good day, I hope it gets better! :)  
> I'll see you soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie goes to her first party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, sorry for the slight delay, my energy levels have been at zero for the past week, but I finally got some motivation, so here's the next chapter! We get to see Josie at a party today, and don't worry, there is still Posie interaction, plus we get to see some more familiar faces from Legacies!  
> Enjoy!

The car ride was relatively quiet, with Josie just opting to stare out the window and listen to Penelope’s music. 

Penelope’s music taste wasn’t actually that bad, although Josie would never tell her that, and Penelope’s quiet singing along was actually really good, although she would never admit that to anybody.

The house where the party was being held was relatively nice, very big, with flower bushes lining the car filled driveway. Josie could hear the beat of music coming from the house, but there were no discernible lyrics. 

Josie found that she was really nervous. Anyone who was anyone at the school would be here. Dana and her friends would be here. All of Penelope’s popular friends would be here. 

She considered sprinting away. Why did she think that she, Josie Saltzman, could handle a party, when she couldn’t even walk through the cafeteria without being nervous?

Penelope seemed to sense her hesitancy and wrapped an arm around Josie’s shoulders.

“Come on JoJo, don’t wanna keep them waiting.” When Josie didn’t move, Penelope tugged her forwards and began to ascend the steps. 

“It’s in the contract JoJo, you have to come, don’t worry, you’ll do great.” 

They got into the foyer of the house, which was empty, and Penelope spun Josie around to face her.

“Okay, before we go in, a few things. One, hair out.” Penelope reached into Josie’s hair and pulled out her ponytail.

“Hey!” Josie exclaimed, reaching to grab her hair tie back. 

Penelope shook her head, pulling Josie's hair tie onto her wrist.

“Gotta have your hair out Josie, it’s a party, not school. And besides, I think you look cute with your hair out.” 

Josie had to actively stop herself from smiling at Penelope’s comment, and instead focused on doing her best pout.

“It’s gonna be all tangled," she complained. Penelope laughed and stepped closer.

“No, it won’t be, see?” She ran her fingers through Josie’s hair, not meeting any knots. Josie felt a chill run down her spine when Penelope’s fingers briefly touched her neck.

Why was Penelope so good at this? 

Penelope fiddled with the end of Josie’s hair for a moment, staring her in the eyes. Usually, Josie hated eye contact, it made her feel sort of exposed, like the other person could see everything inside of her, but for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to look away from Penelope’s shining green eyes. 

No wonder Josie had mentioned Penelope’s eyes in her letter, they were so pretty. 

Josie realised how close they were and how Penelope’s fingers were still in her hair. This felt way too intimate for two people who were just pretending to be dating. 

But Josie really didn’t want to step away.

Penelope seemed to realise that the moment had gone on too long, because she stepped back, dropping her hand down.

“My point is, you look really good with hair down. See, I’ll show you.” Penelope whipped out her phone and snapped a photo of Josie before she could even react.

“See?”

Josie had to admit, she looked sort of pretty in the photo, if a little shy. 

“Okay, second thing, give me your phone.”

Josie frowned.

“Why?” Penelope rolled her eyes.

“JoJo, I think we’re at the stage where there’s at least a little trust between the two of us. Just relax.”

Josie pulled out her phone and gave it to Penelope, who lifted it up, and took a selfie, in which she was doing her famous wink and finger guns combination.

“Alright, you’re making that your phone background. I’ll make the photo I just took of you mine.” 

Josie took her phone back and did as Penelope said.

“Are we good now?” 

Penelope grinned.

“Yep I think that covers it.”

Josie turned to look to where the party was and frowned, still unsure about this whole situation. Penelope reached out and took her hand.

“Hey, do you trust me?”

Josie looked up at her eyes. She looked so sincere, like she actually cared.

“Yes.” 

Penelope smiled and gave her arm a little tug.

“Then let’s go.”

The party was very loud, not that Josie was surprised. She had never really been to a party, unless you counted school dances, but it was exactly like you’d imagine one to be. 

Music blaring across the backyard, people sprawled across couches, people playing games of table tennis and beer pong, hell, they even had those red solo cups that parties in movies always had.

Penelope walked over a group of boys playing beer pong. Josie faintly remembered Penelope telling her dad that there would be no alcohol involved, but she dismissed the thought quickly. 

“Hey Kaleb,” Penelope greeted the leader over the boys with a smile. He looked up and grinned at her.

“Hey, it’s Peez, good to see you girl!” They did some sort of handshake and then Kaleb turned to her. He grinned.

“So, this is Peez’s new girl. Not gonna lie, didn’t really know who you were before, but you seem cool, and if Peez like’s you, I like you.” He held up his hand for a fist bump and Josie reciprocated awkwardly. He nodded, and then turned back to Penelope.

“Alright, so, drinks are over there, games all around, find a place to chill, and just make sure you’re having a good time. Oh, and Dana’s over by that couch area, just in case you’re avoiding her.” 

Penelope grinned.

“Thanks Kaleb.” 

Josie and Penelope walked away from Kaleb and then Penelope leaned into Josie.

“I’m gonna get us some drinks, you go over to where Dana is sitting and just sit down casually. Try and piss her off.” 

Josie was about to argue, but Penelope just kissed her on the cheek and strode off into the crowd.

Well shit.

Guess she had to go sit with Dana, and somehow stop herself from having a mental breakdown.

She sat down across from Dana, who was sitting with one of her friends. Josie didn’t know her name all that well, it had five letters, she was pretty sure, maybe Emily or Helen? 

Dana looked over at Josie, giving her a once over filled with disgust. Then she shed her expression and burst into a fake smile to rival Hope’s.

“Hey, Josie, oh my god it’s so weird seeing you here, I didn’t ever think I’d see you at a party, let alone outside of school.” 

Josie nodded, smiling, and hoping she didn’t look like she wanted to set Dana on fire. She decided that if she was going to be sitting with Dana, well, she could help Penelope’s plan along a little.

“Yeah, well, Penelope invited me, so I figured I’d come.”

Josie saw Dana’s eyes flare with jealousy when she mentioned Penelope’s name. Well, that worked.

Dana’s friend spoke up.

“So, Penelope Park? How’d you two get together, I didn’t think you were her type to be honest.” 

Josie smiled slightly, remembering that Penelope had said that when she’d gotten Josie’s letter.

“Oh, well you know, we started off just meeting up at the diner, and then one thing led to another, and here we are.” Penelope had told her to be vague about details concerning their fake relationship. Apparently, it would annoy Dana.

Her friend grinned.

“How far have you gone? Like obviously you two have made out, the whole school has heard about the football pitch by now, but have you hooked up yet? And, if so, where? Have you-”

“Oh, please Sasha, they obviously haven’t done anything.” 

Josie felt a little offended that Dana would so quickly dismiss her. I mean, obviously, her face was bright red at the idea of hooking up with Penelope Park, but still.

And Josie didn’t know what it was, whether it was the loud music making it hard to think, or just the feeling in the air, but Josie didn’t feel like taking Dana’s insult tonight.

“How would you know that Dana?” Dana scoffed.

“I know Penelope Park, and I know Josie Saltzman and Josie Saltzman isn't exactly that type of person, let's just say.”

Josie looked down. Of course, the whole ‘Josie is the harmless, useless, quiet twin thing.’ Honestly, she really hated that. 

Dana continued.

“And while your crazy sister is down with being a slut, you aren’t.”

Josie looked up and scowled.

“My sister isn’t crazy, and she isn’t a slut. Don’t talk about her like that.” 

Dana laughed.

“Wow, so scary, I’m quaking in my boots.” Her and Sasha laughed. Josie felt her face growing red. Where the hell was Penelope? 

“Okay, well as fun as it is talking to you, I’m getting a drink. Do you want something Josie, like a juice box or something in a sippy cup?” Josie met Dana’s eyes and gave her a sickly-sweet smile. If standing up to Dana didn't work, passive aggressiveness might.

“No, thank you, my girlfriend’s getting me a drink.”

Bingo. Josie swore that Dana’s skin went just a shade greener. It got even better when Penelope’s voice entered the conversation.

“Hey JoJo, got us those drinks.”

Dana looked up at Penelope before rolling her eyes and walking off with Sasha. Josie didn't even try to stop the victorious smirk that grew on her face. 

Penelope slid over the couch and handed Josie a drink. Josie saw the way that her eyes followed Dana like a lost puppy and had to resist rolling her eyes. 

She wasn’t going to lie, this party kind of sucked. She took a sip of her drink and nearly choked. Wow, okay, movies talked beer up way too much if this was beer.

“Ugh, why is beer so vinegary?” 

Penelope looked down at her and switched their cups.

“It’s not, I gave you the wrong one.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s kombucha, I’m driving. Although, don’t have too much of your drink, Kaleb’s beer is always way too strong. Don’t want your dad knowing that I kind of lied to him.” 

Josie turned to look at Penelope.

“You drink kombucha?” 

Penelope shrugged and took a sip.

“It’s good for your digestion.”

Josie turned away and looked down at her cup. She decided that maybe drinking it would maybe be a bad idea and she lowered it. 

Penelope moved forwards, holding her phone out. 

“Okay JoJo, it’s photo time. You gotta take some cute selfies with me. I need to show all of my followers how beautiful my girlfriend is.”

Josie blushed. Penelope was so much of a flirt, but honestly, Josie wasn’t complaining.

They did a few poses for the photo. In one Josie was kissing Penelope’s cheek, in one they were both smiling, in one Penelope kissed Josie’s forehead, and in one Josie just rested her head on Penelope’s shoulder and smiled.

Penelope put her phone down and smiled.

“Anyone ever tell you that you are extremely photogenic? It’s amazing how cute you look in these.” 

Josie blushed again.

“Says you. Every time I see you in a photo you look so pretty.”

Penelope looked at Josie with a teasing grin.

“You think I’m pretty JoJo?”

Josie rolled her eyes and playfully shoved Penelope.

“Yeah, pretty annoying.” 

Penelope just laughed and relaxed back on the couch. Josie smiled. Okay, maybe the party didn’t suck that much. 

+++

For the rest of the night, Josie hung out with some of Penelope’s friends. Penelope did a whole introduction, and they just grinned and made a bunch of jokes about her and Penelope. The ones that Josie got along best with were Jed and Landon. Jed was Penelope’s cousin, and while he shared her wit and charm, he definitely didn’t think things through the way that Penelope did. Josie figured that out after he jumped into the pool fully clothed.

Landon was much less outgoing. She knew he’d been friends with Rafael at some point, and she got why. He was very introverted, and they ended up getting into a deep conversation about the universe. They also talked about music and discovered that they had very similar tastes.

Of course, Penelope was by her side for most of the night, and Josie had to admit, she loved hanging out with her. Penelope was absolutely hilarious and seeing her so wild was awesome. 

At some point in the night, around 10 o’clock, Josie found herself alone on the patio, holding the same cup she’d gotten at the beginning. She still hadn’t drunk any of it. Penelope had gone off to the bathroom, and so Josie was just enjoying being at the party, trying to guess the name of the song playing, even if the only thing she could really hear was the bass line. 

“Hey, Jo!” She turned around to see MG. She was kind of surprised, she hadn’t pegged him as a party person. As far as she knew, he was just a nerdy comic book fan. 

She also hadn’t actually talked to him since that day in the bathroom.

“Hey MG. Didn’t think I’d see you here.” 

He grinned.

“Yeah, me and Kaleb are tight. He told me that it’d be a fun time. It’s actually sort of awesome.” He looked around at the party. She had to admit; MG did sort of look at home here. Maybe her first impressions were wrong.

“But enough about me, what about you? I see those love letters paid off, seeing as you're here with Peez.”

Josie looked at him. It didn’t seem like he’d clued onto the whole ‘fake dating thing’. Well, that made things easier. 

“Yeah, but you can’t tell anyone about the love letters okay? Top secret.”

He made a zipping motion over his mouth.

“It’s all good Jo, your secret is safe with me.”

She grinned.

“You having a good time?” He asked. She nodded.

“It’s sort of awesome, I should have been doing this sooner.”

He laughed.

“Yeah, maybe you should’ve. Although, I’ve been to parties with your sister, she knows how to take the spotlight.” 

Josie had to supress a frown. She’d been hoping to avoid any more talk of Lizzie.

She wondered if Lizzie had come out of her room. She wondered if Lizzie had interacted with Hope yet. If so, they had either set the house on fire, or they were in the middle of an awkward ignoring each other violently match.

She pulled herself back to the present.

“Yeah, well, while I don’t really like the spotlight that much, being here is nice.”

He grinned and held up his cup.

“To awesome parties and the power of friendship?” 

She laughed and bumped his cup.

“To awesome parties and the power of friendship.” She took a sip and tried to ignore the way that it burned. Thankfully, she could see MG reacting the same way.

“Ugh, never really been a beer guy.” 

She nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t really see the hype.”

She felt someone tap her shoulder and she looked around. Penelope was there, looking distracted.

“Hey, we should probably hit the road, maybe get something to eat on our way back?”

Josie nodded. Penelope looked over at MG and offered him a smile.

“Hey MG, having a good time?”

He nodded.

“Heck yes,” he replied enthusiastically. Penelope laughed.

“Awesome.” MG looked at the two of them.

“Right, well, I’m gonna find Kaleb, you two have fun okay?” 

They both nodded and he strolled off through the party.

Josie turned to Penelope.

“How are you friends with everyone?” 

Penelope winked.

“It’s called charm JoJo, and I happen to have a lot of it.” She snuck her arm around Josie’s waist.

“Come on, let’s go hit up that diner. I need a milkshake and fries.”

Josie smiled and let herself be led out of the party.

Maybe having Penelope Park as her fake girlfriend was a brilliant idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah Josie, good to see that you're finally realising what an amazing plan this is, although you should probably look into why you've realised that.  
> Next chapter will be basically just Penelope and Josie talking, so that's super fun, get hyped. And if you're here for Hizzie, well no spoilers, but there is definitely some stuff coming your way in the chapters after next, just you wait.  
> Until next chapter, farewell, and I hope you are having a lovely time!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie and Penelope talk after the party and learn more about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back, and I'm here to supply you with much needed Posie content. Specifically, Josie and Penelope talking about random and occasionally sort of deep stuff in a diner.   
> Enjoy!

The diner was mostly deserted, expect for a few tired looking people sitting at booths. It was about 10:30, so Josie wasn’t too surprised. 

Her and Penelope grabbed a table and ordered two milkshakes with fries. Josie hadn’t eaten for ages, seeing as all that had been served at the party were chips and the occasional M&M.

Penelope slouched back in her chair. She didn’t look as tense as she had been when they had left the party, now she looked more like the Penelope that Josie knew.

“Why do you always get chocolate? Strawberry is the superior milkshake flavour.”

Josie rose her eyebrows.

“That’s seriously how you’re going to start the conversation?”

Penelope nodded.

“Yeah, I’m serious. You can’t step out of your comfort zone if you only drink one flavour of milkshake.” 

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Fine, I’ll have your milkshake, and I will prove to you that chocolate is better.”

Penelope pouted.

"It's my milkshake, why should I let you have it?"

"Well, if you don't I'll never know the truth about which flavour is superior, will I?"

Penelope sighed melodramatically.

"Fine, I guess you win this round Jojo," she said, still pouting, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Her eyes were full of this calm contentment and joy. 

Josie didn't know why, but she really liked it when Penelope looked at her like that.

They didn’t talk much after that, just opting to stare around the diner. When their drinks arrived, Josie took the strawberry one, and then she spent the next five minutes trying to continue her argument for chocolate.

It ended in them laughing so hard that Josie felt like she couldn’t breathe. It didn’t matter that everyone in the diner was staring at them, it just felt so right.

When they were nearly finished, Penelope spoke again.

“You know, you did really well tonight.”

Josie turned to look at her.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, you had a good time, you fit in with everyone at the party, and of course, most importantly, you made Dana crazy jealous.”

Josie laughed, trying to ignore the fact that Penelope’s words didn’t sit right with her. 

To be perfectly honest, she didn't feel like discussing Dana. 

“Honestly, I love how you stood up to her.” 

Josie was a little taken aback.

“What do you mean??”

Penelope shrugged.

“You didn’t let her just get away with insulting you and Lizzie, you stood up for yourself and you actually managed to get on her nerves,” Penelope paused as she ate a fry.

“I really like seeing that side of you, the side that does what she wants to do.” 

Josie blushed at the table. She had to admit; it was really awesome showing that side of her.

Penelope looked down at her phone and scoffed.

“Ugh, it’s Dana.”

Josie frowned.

“Isn’t the whole point of this to get her to like you again?” 

Penelope sighed.

“Yeah, but sometimes she makes me so mad. Like tonight, she barely talks to me at the party, and now look,” Penelope held up her phone. 

She had 21 text notifications from Dana. Josie didn’t know much about texting and relationships, but that felt like a lot. 

“Honestly, I don’t get it. She ignores me the whole party, not even looking at me, we interact in the bathroom once, with her acting all jealous, and now suddenly she wants to talk."

Josie frowned.

"When did you talk to her in the bathroom?"

"Oh, when you were with MG. She sort of pissed me off, so that's why I wanted to leave."

Josie didn't like thinking about Penelope talking to Dana, and while she wasn't entirely sure why that was, she decided that it was probably because she didn't like Dana.

“So, what are you gonna do?”

Penelope shrugged.

“I’ll probably just call her when I get home.”

Josie frowned. Penelope still talked to Dana? It felt like they hated each other at school, but Penelope was going to call her? And after Dana making Penelope mad? That made no sense.

“Okay, what’s that look for JoJo? You’ve got concerned pouty face, just spit it out.” 

“I do not have concerned pouty face!” Josie exclaimed. She swore Lizzie had told her something like that before. Penelope gave Josie a pointed look.

“Yes, you do. Now, come on, tell me what’s going on in your head.”

“I just don’t think it’s healthy that you still talk to your ex-girlfriend on the phone.”

Penelope laughed, although it sounded sort of forced.

“Oh, so you fake date me for like three days and suddenly you’re the relationship expert?”

“I may never have dated anyone, but Dana was the only person you’ve been with for longer than two weeks, and you are totally obsessed with her.” 

Penelope snorted, rolling her eyes.

“I am not obsessed with her.” 

Josie leant forwards onto the table, looking Penelope in the eyes.

“Okay, prove it. Don’t call her tonight.”

Penelope rose her eyebrows, like she thought Josie was kidding. 

Josie was not.

“Okay, JoJo, I won’t. Playing hard to get might work in my favour anyways.” 

Josie just rolled her eyes in response. Of course, Penelope is thinking of the plan. She’s always thinking of the plan.

Penelope tilted her head to the side.

“You still have pouty face JoJo.”

“Maybe I always have pouty face.”

“Josie.” Penelope looked serious, like she actually cared about what Josie was thinking about. And something about it made Josie say, fuck it, and she told Penelope the truth.

“I just think it would be nice if we could maybe have a conversation that doesn’t circle around Dana.” 

Penelope laughed and looked at the table. After a moment, she nodded.

“Okay, you’re probably right. So, what do you want to talk about?” 

Josie didn’t think Penelope would actually listen, and so she shrugged and started playing with her fries.

“I don’t know, anything really.”

“Okay, tell me about what you want to be when you grow up.”

Josie laughed.

“Be serious.”

“I am serious.” Penelope was grinning, but Josie could tell that she meant the words. 

Josie took a moment to find the right words. She’d never actually talked about this before.

“I want to do something with music. Like, writing songs and performing them.” Josie looked up at Penelope, wondering if she was going to laugh at Josie. 

Instead, she had a soft smile on her face.

“Have you written any songs yet?” 

Josie blushed.

“Yes, but I would never play them for anyone.” 

Penelope just smiled.

“Okay, so I’m definitely going to get you to play them for me.”

Josie smiled. It was nice having someone listen to her. And it sort of seemed like Penelope cared, like she wasn’t just asking to be nice.

Josie really liked this feeling.

“What about you Penelope? What are you going to do?” 

Penelope shrugged, looking down at the table, smile gone from her face, replaced by a frown.

“I don’t really know. I always thought it might be cool to be a vet though. I’ve always had a way with animals. I’ve got way too many pets.” 

“What pets?”

“I’ve got a dog called Ellie, a cat called Peter, and a rabbit called Felix. They’re all awesome. Jed hates them though.” 

Josie wasn’t sure if Penelope even realised the little smile that appeared on her face when she spoke about her pets, but it was cute. Josie sort of wanted to take a photo of her in this moment.

“It’s still strange to me that you are Jed are cousins.” 

Penelope laughed.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that.” Penelope smiled at the table and looked up.

“Hey, I have a question for you. Like, a serious one, but you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

Josie shrugged.

“Ask me the question and we’ll see.”

Penelope paused for a moment, biting her cheek and tapping her fingers on the table.

“Why have you never been in a relationship?” 

Josie closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply. It would be a lie to say she’d never thought about this, thought about relationships, because of course she had, but it was another thing entirely to tell those thoughts to someone else.

She decided to deflect.

“Well, I guess because no one has ever really liked me like that.” Penelope scoffed.

“I know that’s a lie, because I know that Troy Moore asked you to the Summer Dance last year, and I know for a fact that you said no.”

“You keeping tabs on me?”

Penelope shook her head.

“You’re deflecting. Look, it’s okay if you don’t want to answer, but I think maybe it might be good to actually talk about this sort of stuff.”

Josie sighed.

Guess she’d better tell the truth. Or, the thoughts that had crossed her mind every time relationships came up.

“Well, it’s sort of a mix of things. To start with, I’m never the first choice. When everyone talks about me, it’s always as Lizzie’s sister. And I love her, I do, but sometimes I wish I could be my own person, do my own things. You said that Troy asked me out, that’s true. What you didn’t mention was that he asked Lizzie out first, and when she said no, that’s when he came to me. I don’t want to be the second choice.”

Penelope nodded.

“I get that. And like I said before, you deserve way better than Lizzie’s leftovers.” 

Josie smiled and then sighed.

“But it’s more than just that. You see, love and dating, is fun to read about and to write about, but when it’s real,” Josie bit her lip and looked down.

“It’s scary?” Penelope asked. Josie lifted her eyes to see that Penelope was smiling softly at her. Josie continued.

“Yeah, because the more people you let into your life, the more people can just walk out.” 

A silence hung over the table as Penelope tried to figure out Josie’s words. Then a look of understanding came over her.

“Oh. Your mum.”

Josie nodded, smiling sadly.

It had been so long since the death of her mum, and still, talking about it brought tears to her eyes. Josie could barely remember the sound of her voice, only knew her face from the pictures around the house, and that hurt. It hurt that she’d never been able to spend time with her mum. 

She loved her dad, but sometimes she just wished that she had her mum with her. Someone to talk to about her love life, or problems with Lizzie, or just anything. 

“And with her, she didn’t have a choice, but maybe the next time it happens, they’ll leave because they just don’t want to be with me anymore. 

Penelope looked at the table, tapping her fingers on it in a seemingly random rhythm. The she cleared her throat, and not looking up at Josie, began to speak.

“Yeah. It really makes you wonder if you’re worth anything, when the people closest to you leave.”

Josie was surprised. She didn’t think that Penelope was the type to have self-worth issues. Although, look at Lizzie. If she could hide her problems, anyone could.

“You too?”

Penelope nodded. 

“Did you know that my dad left us?”

Josie nodded. She remembered hearing the whispers around school when it happened, remembering how Penelope had looked something other than perfect for the first time, how Jed had not left her side for about a week. 

Penelope smiled sadly.

“He’s got a new wife now, a kid too, but he hasn’t called home since the day he left. I only know stuff about his new life because I overhead my uncle talking to him on the phone.” 

“I’m sorry.” The words felt meaningless, and Josie knew that they wouldn’t do anything to take away the pain. 

Penelope shook her head, looking to the side, as if to hide the tears in her eyes.

“It’s fine, I don’t usually talk about it much, I just felt like maybe you’d understand. Not that it’s anywhere the same, but just,” Penelope sighed and finally turned to face Josie.

“Life sucks, and people leave, and I want you to know that you aren’t alone.”

Josie had no idea how to respond. This side of Penelope was really something else, and Josie found that she sort of loved it. Loved seeing her without walls.

She wondered if Dana had ever seen this side.

She wondered why Penelope was showing it to her.

“Thank you for telling me that. I completely understand, it’s hard.” 

Penelope sighed and then shook her head, forcing a smile onto her face.

“You know, I think it’s funny that you say you’re scared of commitment, and letting people in, and here we are now, telling each other our secrets.” 

Josie suddenly felt the reality of the situation hit. She was in a diner, talking about her issues with Penelope Park, her fake girlfriend, someone who she’d probably never talk to again after they ‘broke up’. 

And the fear she’d just talked about leapt up. She couldn’t get too close. Penelope probably didn’t even care about this, she was just using Josie, why would she care?

And Josie, who, moments ago had been enjoying their conversation with walls down, put her back up.

Even if a part of her really didn't want to.

Even if a part of her just wanted to stay in this diner forever, spilling all of her secrets, talking about anything that crossed her mind, just as long as she got to stay in this moment with Penelope.

“Well, I don’t really need to be scared with you, do I? This isn’t real, remember?” '

Josie could’ve sworn that she saw something akin to pain flash across Penelope face. Then Penelope nodded.

“You’re right Josie, this isn’t real.” She looked down and then started grabbing her stuff.

“Well, this has been fun, but your dad will kill me if I get you home late, so come on, get your stuff."

Josie frowned. She hadn't meant to offend Penelope. She was just trying to protect herself. 

Shit. 

Well, that was definitely the wrong move.

“Wait, Penelope, are we good?” 

Penelope looked at her and smiled. It was her fake smile, her popular girl smile. Josie felt sort of like she was being stabbed.

“Of course, we’re good Josie. Come on.”

Josie sighed and grabbed her stuff.

She checked her phone and frowned. There were multiple messages from Hope on her screen. Messages from about two hours ago.

She opened them to read.

**Wonder Woman: Josie, I think we need to talk.**

**Wonder Woman: And by we, I mean, me, you, and Lizzie.**

**Wonder Woman: I’m still at your house, so when you get home, be ready, I guess.**

**Wonder Woman: Lizzie isn’t exactly taking this well.**

**Wonder Woman: We just want to know why you did it. We want to know why you lied.**

Josie felt her heart rate speed up. What the hell did this mean? 

The she remembered. 

No.

No way, they couldn’t have figured it out.

But if Hope and Lizzie both wanted to talk to her, there had to be a reason.

And there was only one that Josie could think of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, it's a cliffhanger. Those are always so fun. And, it's not even going to resolved next chapter, because next chapter we are going to be changing POV's!  
> That's right pals, we're going to Hope's perspective, time to see what she's been up to while Josie and Penelope have been partying. If you're here for Hizzie, the next two chapters are definitely going to make you happy. So, hopefully I can update quickly, because I'm going to be traveling and without internet for a little bit some time in the future, but don't worry, I'll be back!  
> See you (hopefully) soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope goes to the Saltzman's house to bake cupcakes and has an interesting encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry for the delay, but in my defense it's been a busy week and I have been traveling. To make up for it, I will be posting the next chapter tomorrow.   
> So, hope you guys are ready for some Hizzie content because here it is!  
> Enjoy!

Hope had been in a state of anxiety for the past forty minutes. Josie had left before she’d gotten to the house, and when she had entered, all there had been was Pedro, standing by the cupcakes with a grin on his face. 

“Hey Hope!” 

She had smiled at him and asked.

“Okay, so where is everyone?”

“Josie’s at her party, dad’s just about to leave for work, and Lizzie’s upstairs.” 

Hope had nodded, trying her best not to let her eyes flick to upstairs.

“Cool, let’s get to work.”

Dr Saltzman had come downstairs and nodded at Hope before swiftly leaving. Now she was halfway through the second batch, with Pedro having a shower, or more likely playing video games, when she heard a noise from upstairs, that sounded like a door opening. 

She hoped it was just Pedro and she turned back to her baking. 

Then she heard Lizzie's voice from upstairs.

"Daddy? Is that you?"

Shit. 

Looked like Lizzie had finally decided to make an appearance.

Hope’s relationship with Lizzie was…interesting. You’d think that you should be able to get along with the twin of your best friends, but nope. 

Hope didn’t even know where the antagonism had started. 

Actually, that was a lie. 

She knew exactly when she had started to dislike Lizzie. She just didn’t know why Lizzie had started to hate her.

Hope had been friends with Josie for a little while, both were in seventh grade, when they were only thirteen. Lizzie had recently become the popular girl, and Josie hadn’t completely retreated into her shell. 

Josie and Hope had been hanging out one day, when Hope had mentioned Lizzie, and how she wouldn’t mind getting to know her as well. Josie had acted cagey, mentioning that maybe that wasn’t the best idea.

Hope had pushed, trying to understand why, when Josie had told her the truth. 

“Well, I don’t think Lizzie actually wants to be friends with you.”

“What?”

“She said some stuff about you.”

“What did she say?”

“I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Josie.”

“Okay fine. She said you weren’t cool enough, that you were just some sad loser and she didn’t get why I’d like you.” 

“What?”

“I don’t think that, just so you know.”

“But Lizzie said that?”

“Yes.”

Ever since that day, Hope had always been wary of Lizzie. When Lizzie had started openly insulting her, Hope had found no reason to try and be friends. So began their war of bitchy banter. 

That would seem to be fairly cut and dry, but of course, Hope’s feelings could never be so simple. 

You see, Hope-

“What are you doing here?” Hope was pulled out of her reverie by the sound of Lizzie shouting at her from the bottom of the stairs. Hope blinked, still processing the words.

“Does Josie really need constant attention from two dogs?”

Hope blinked again.

“I’m here to help with Pedro’s bake sale. He needs cupcakes made, and so Josie and your dad invited me over.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Of course, dad invited you over, you’re the favourite child.”

Hope had no idea how to respond to that. Lizzie seemed to be in a worse mood than usual. 

Were her eyes red, or was that just the lighting?

“Where is sister dearest anyways?” 

Hope gestured to the door.

“She’s gone to a party.” 

Lizzie stared at her like Hope had just told her that the world was ending.

“I’m sorry what? My sister? At a party? Try again.” 

Hope sighed.

“I’m serious. Penelope insisted that she go.”

That was the wrong thing to say. As soon as Hope said Penelope’s name, Lizzie turned her head to the side and laughed bitterly.

“Of course, not only does she have to date Josie to get on my nerves, she has to corrupt her. Fantastic.” 

Hope felt the need to stand up for her friends. Even if Josie and Penelope’s relationship was fake, Hope wasn’t going to stand around and here Lizzie insult them. 

“Penelope isn’t actually a bad person Lizzie.”

Lizzie scoffed and walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, because the girl who told me that I’m a black hole of time and energy is actually Mother Teresa.” 

Hope sighed. She was not going to win that argument. 

“What are you doing down here anyways?" She asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from Penelope and Josie.

“This is my house, I can go where I want,” Lizzie snapped. Hope just stared. Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“I’m hungry, so I’m making dinner.”

Hope knew that she should probably just nod and go back to baking, but she felt the need to do something to help.

“Do you want some help?”

Lizzie looked like Hope had just offered to shoot a puppy.

“Um, no thanks, I can make my own food. You stay on your side; I’ll stay on my side.”

Hope nodded and went back to baking. The cupcakes were nearly finished, which was good, Lizzie definitely didn’t want her around. 

Hope tried her best not to be hurt by that fact.

It didn’t work.

+++

About ten minutes later, Hope was nearly finished with the cupcakes, she just needed to ice them. Lizzie, on the other hand, was nowhere near being finished with making her dinner. As far as Hope could tell, she was trying to make an omelette, but judging by the increasingly annoyed sounds coming from Lizzie’s side of the kitchen, it wasn’t working.  
Hope had to physically stop herself from offering to help again. It was just after 6 o’clock, so Josie and Penelope were at the party by now. 

Hope had never really been the type for parties. Except of course for a few last year, including the one where she ended up making out with Penelope. 

And well, Josie hadn’t been the party type either, but that was only because she’d never wanted to try it. Hope had a feeling that once Josie got into her comfort zone and found people that she liked; she’d be fine. 

Once again, Hope was pulled out of her thoughts by Lizzie. Or rather, the sound of Lizzie breaking something. 

“Are you okay?” Hope asked, startled. Lizzie was gripping her hand, slightly hunched over, face twisted in pain.

“Obviously not, Mikealson.”

Hope heard the tears in Lizzie’s voice, and she moved closer to Lizzie. 

She reached out and took her hand. Lizzie hissed in pain but did not withdraw her hand.

Hope ignored the joy that came from this small step and focused on Lizzie’s hand.

It was bleeding from a cut on Lizzie’s palm. Hope looked at the floor, where a plate lay shattered.

“Okay, it’s not that bad, you just need to wash it, get some antibacterial stuff, and then we can get a bandage.” 

Lizzie huffed.

“When did you become a doctor?” 

Hope rolled her eyes.

“My dad insisted that I take a first aid course. Guess it did end up coming in handy. Now come on.”

Hope managed to get Lizzie through the process fairly easily. She was pretty sure that some stuff Lizzie did not need her help for, but Hope wasn’t going to poke the bear. Especially not when it was clear that Lizzie was not exactly in the most stable mental state.

Eventually, they ended up back in the kitchen. Lizzie sat on one of the stools, looking at her bandaged hand. They hadn’t really spoken at all, and now Hope wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“So, do you want to order a pizza or something? Because I don’t think making dinner is an option at this point.”

Lizzie glared at her.

“I don’t need you to help me with basic tasks. And you should be going anyways, you’re nearly finished with the cupcakes.” 

Hope sighed. Guess they hadn’t taken any steps after all.

“Look, I’m just worried about you. You don’t really-”

“Worried? Oh yeah, because Hope Mikealson cares so much about other people.” 

“Just because we aren’t friends, doesn’t mean that I don’t care. And you clearly aren’t in a state where you should be left alone.”

Lizzie laughed bitterly.

“My sister didn’t seem to care about leaving me alone.” 

Oh, so this was about Josie. Right.

“Your sister can live her own life Lizzie. I don’t think she does things to hurt you.”

“No, she just befriends and hooks up with people who think that I’m the worst person ever.”

Hope huffed. And back to Hope's relationship with Lizzie.

“I don’t think you’re the worst person ever. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t care that much about you.” 

Okay, that was a little harsh, and definitely a lie, but Lizzie was being a bit of a jerk.

“Really? Because it seems like you care about making my life a living hell. You care about insulting me. You can’t just forget about the things you’ve said.” 

“What the hell do you mean Lizzie?” Hope was getting really irritated now, and honestly, she wanted to know why Lizzie hated her so much.

Lizzie scoffed.

“Oh please, as if you don’t know.”

“I really don’t. I would like to know what the hell I did to you. Tell me what it is that I did that made you hate me.” 

Lizzie stared at her like Hope was the biggest idiot in the world. Hope rose an eyebrow, challenging Lizzie to tell her the truth.

“Alright, fine. I’ll jog your memory. You insulted me behind my back, to Josie of all people. You called me a bipolar bitch who was too self-obsessed to actually care about anyone.”

Okay. What the actual genuine fuck?

Hope had never said that. She would never say that. As much Lizzie had gotten on her nerves previously, she would never stoop so low as to make fun of Lizzie’s mental health problems.

So why the hell did Lizzie think that she had?

“What? I would never say that.”

Lizzie shook her head, tears starting to show in her eyes.

“Stop lying. Stop pretending that you care, okay? Because I know you hate me. Even if I never knew why, I know you hate me.” 

Hope couldn’t stop herself from saying what she said next. 

“You told Josie that I was a sad loser who wasn’t cool enough for you.” 

Lizzie looked up at her in shock.

"That's why I tried to avoid you. Because I knew you thought that about me."

Lizzie slowly shook her head.

“I never said that.” 

The two girls stared at each other for a moment, their words hanging in the air. 

Hope felt herself starting to panic, so she stared speaking, letting almost everything out.

“If you thought I said that about you, then you hating me all these years makes perfect sense. But right now, I need you to know that I don’t take those issues lightly and I would never make fun of you for it. And I don’t hate you.”

Lizzie looked up at her, meeting her eyes.

“I believe you.” It felt like the chasm that had been between them all these years was suddenly so much smaller.

Lizzie spoke again.

“I don’t think you’re a sad loser. I only ever wanted to be your friend, and when I thought you hated me, I put my walls up, tried to hate you back. I don’t think I hate you though.” 

The room was silent. Hope had no idea how they’d gotten to this point.

“You don’t hate me.” Lizzie wasn’t asking her, she was stating it, trying the words out on her tongue.

“You don’t hate me,” Hope said, almost as a reply to Lizzie’s words. 

Hope stood slowly, unsure of how to handle the current situation.

“I can go, if you want.” 

Lizzie paused, and then she looked up at Hope. 

“Can you stay? Just for a while. I think you’re right; I shouldn’t be alone right now. And I need to talk to you with a clearer head. I need to figure out what this means.” 

Hope nodded.

Lizzie wanted her to stay.

Lizzie didn’t hate her.

Hope really needed to do a full evaluation of this later. One that included how this affected her feelings about Lizzie.

Hope suddenly remembered how this whole thing had started in the first place.

“Do you want me to order a pizza or something? I’ll get stuff for Pedro as well.”

Lizzie nodded.

“Get a large meatlovers, Pedro and I will share. You get something for yourself as well.”

Hope nodded and pulled out her phone.

Well, that wasn't exactly what she was expecting when she came over to bake cupcakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that is sort of Part 1 of 2 chapters that will be done from Hope's perspective. The chapter I post tomorrow will be Part 2. After that we'll go back to Josie.   
> I hope that you enjoyed seeing things from a different perspective and this development with Hizzie! I'll see you all very soon!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope and Lizzie talk some more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I'd be back soon!  
> Not going to lie to you, this chapter is half Hope comforting Lizzie and half Hope and Lizzie watching Netflix together, so hopefully you guys like that type of thing.  
> Enjoy!

Hope and Lizzie ate their pizza in silence. Pedro gave them both weird looks when he came down to collect his six pieces. Hope still had no idea how he managed to eat so much food. 

Once they were both finished, Hope and Lizzie were left sitting on the couch, about a metre apart. Hope had no idea how to proceed.

She checked her phone. No new text messages from Josie. It was just past 7o’clock now. She wondered what she was doing. 

She looked over at Lizzie. She didn’t look as wrecked as she had when she’d come downstairs, she looked almost content.

Almost. Hope could still see the turmoil in her eyes, the way that she wouldn’t stop fidgeting. Hope known Lizzie for about five years. Even if they hadn’t been friends during that time, Hope still knew what Lizzie looked like when she wasn’t in a good place.

She decided it was on her to break the ice.

“So, I guess we should talk.”

Lizzie didn’t look up, choosing to study her fingers instead. She nodded slowly, before speaking quietly.

“Yeah.” 

Hope waited. She wanted Lizzie to be the first one to speak now. She didn’t want to push too hard here.

Lizzie sighed and looked up at Hope. Hope tried to ignore the fact that Lizzie was shaking, ever so slightly.

“For the past five years, we’ve been fighting, because we thought that the other had said something. And now we find out that we believed lies. I just,” Lizzie gestured vaguely.

“How did we get here? Why did we even believe those lies?” 

Hope opened her mouth to reply but stopped when Lizzie’s question fully hit her.

Why did we even believe those lies?

Hope’s mind started putting together the pieces, and she did not like the picture they were starting to form. 

_You insulted me behind my back to Josie._

_You told Josie I was a sad loser._

There was one connection between those two things. 

Hope could tell by the look on Lizzie’s face that she’d realised the same thing she had.

“Josie.”

Hope felt like she’d been punched. 

Josie had lied to her. Josie had lied to both of them.

Josie was the reason that Hope and Lizzie had always hated each other.

Every time that Josie had mentioned how she hated that Hope and Lizzie hated each other, she’d been the one who started it in the first place.

But why?

Lizzie’s mouth fell open and the tears she’d clearly been trying to hold back started to fall.

“Josie did this? Josie’s the reason this happened?” Lizzie stood, pacing back and forth. Her hands were fidgeting with the edge of her shirt, and Hope could hear her breath speeding up.

“Why is always Josie suddenly? Does she just hate me? Has she hated me all this time? What did I do to her, why does she hate me, why,” Lizzie cut herself off and grabbed at her hair, pulling it as if it would give her some answer.

Hope stood and walked over to Lizzie.

“Hey, it’s okay, Josie doesn’t hate you.”

Lizzie shook her head.

“Then why does it feel like everything is pointing towards that? Why does it feel like she’s doing everything to hurt me right now?” 

Hope heard Lizzie’s breath catch, and she knew that Lizzie was spiralling. She knew that Lizzie was on the verge of a panic attack right now. 

And while they’d never been close, Hope hoped that she could do something to stop this before it got bad.

She stepped forwards, and gently wrapped her hand around Lizzie’s wrist. 

“Okay, Lizzie, I need you to look at me, alright? Just breathe with me, deep breathes, come on.”

Lizzie nodded and tried her best to copy Hope. Hope squeezed her wrist gently.

“It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe.” 

Lizzie sighed deeply and nodded. 

When she had calmed down, Lizzie looked into Hope’s eyes. Hope was momentarily struck by how pretty they were. 

“Thank you, Hope.” 

Hope just smiled. 

“It’s okay. Come on, sit down.” 

The two of them sat down, much closer together then they had been previously, and Hope felt comfortable. Hope looked over at Lizzie. She looked so tired. 

Hope had to physically stop herself from reaching over and hugging Lizzie. 

Lizzie was the first one to speak.

“Okay, so, Josie is definitely going to have to talk to both of us. I need to know why. It just,” Lizzie sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “It doesn’t make sense. She’s Josie, she’s my sister, she’s never kept anything from me before.” Lizzie shook her head and turned to look at Hope.

“Do you think she’s been acting different? Like, I don’t know, it’s like a whole new side of her is suddenly coming to life.”

Hope paused for a moment, thinking.

Josie had been slightly different recently. Dating Penelope, going to parties, arguing with Lizzie. Hope didn’t think it was a bad thing, she was glad her friend was finally getting out and experiencing life.

Hope was actually kind of proud of her. 

“I think Josie has spent her whole life hiding a lot of herself because she wants to be liked, but not noticed. I think she’s trying something new, and I think we should support that, just as long as it doesn’t make her into someone who she isn’t. Someone who she doesn't want to be.” 

Lizzie nodded.

“I think you might be right.”

She smiled sadly, and looked away, as if to hide tears. Hope decided it was time to steer the conversation away from Josie, and back onto the two of them. 

“Where does this leave us? We have no genuine reason to hate each other anymore, and after everything that’s just happened, I don’t think we can just stay like we were.” Hope paused and then said quietly.

“I don’t want to stay like we were.”

Lizzie nodded.

“I think we can try being friends. Like we both wanted all those years ago.” 

Hope nodded, and then smiled at a sudden thought that occurred to her.

“Your dad is going to be so confused by all of this.”

Lizzie laughed, genuinely and fully, and Hope’s heart leapt.

Oh, right. 

Amongst all the turmoil that had been going on, Hope had almost forgotten about one of the most important parts of her relationship towards Lizzie.

In between all the confusion and anger and the hurt, Hope Mikealson had developed a crush on Lizzie Saltzman and she had no idea why.

Well, actually that was a lie. She knew exactly why. 

It was because she’d always known that Lizzie was really a good person underneath all her walls. It was because Lizzie was so funny, and really smart. It was because Hope was pretty sure that she would never meet someone as beautiful as Lizzie.

The only person who knew about her crush, strangely, was Penelope Park. Penelope was weirdly observant about that type of thing, and once Hope had admitted it, Penelope had never let it go. Hope just dealt with the teasing. 

It was actually kind of nice.

Even if Hope’s heart had nearly leapt out of her throat when Penelope had joked about maybe revealing Hope’s secret to Josie.

Because Josie would kill her. 

She had never been able to get rid of her feelings, but she had also never planned to act on them.

Because Lizzie had hated her.

Well, this changed things. 

Woah. 

Hope was going to need a moment to think about how this affected everything. 

“He’s probably just going to be glad that he doesn’t have to stop us fighting all the time,” Lizzie replied. Hope grinned.

Then she remembered why she’d come to the house in the first place.

“Oh shit.”

Lizzie turned to her, worry all over her face.

“What?”

“Pedro’s cupcakes. I was halfway through icing them when all of this started, and I may have sort of forgotten about them.”

Lizzie’s features relaxed, and then shifted into something more thoughtful.

“Well, you go finish icing them and whatever else you need to do, and then maybe we can watch something?”

Hope turned to Lizzie with surprise. She had thought that once they’d figured everything out, Lizzie would want her to leave.

Lizzie must have misinterpreted her silence and started making hurried apologies.

“I’m sorry, you probably want to be going home, and your parents are probably worried about you and-”

“No, Lizzie, it’s fine. I texted my dad when we got pizza and I told him I would be staying here for dinner. I can just text him again and tell him that I’ll be here a bit later. It’s only like a fifteen-minute drive back, it’s fine. And besides, watching something with you sounds kind of awesome.” 

Lizzie beamed at her.

“Perfect.”

Yeah, it kind of was.

+++

Hope finished the cupcakes and stored them all in a container, ready for the bake sale tomorrow.

Hope grinned up at Lizzie.

“All the kids at school are going to love him.” 

Lizzie scoffed.

“They already do. I swear, half the grade wants to marry him, and the other half wants to be his best friend. And don’t get me started on the teachers, parent teacher night is going to be sickening.”

Hope found herself actually giggling at that. 

Lizzie pointed a finger at her, mock gasping.

“Did Hope Mikealson actually just giggle? Did I make you giggle?”

Hope rolled her eyes.

“Tell anyone and I’ll kill you.”

Lizzie just laughed.

“No, you won’t.”

They ended up watching Power Rangers, because Lizzie hadn’t seen it and Hope wanted to watch a superhero movie.

“Isn’t meant to be sort of terrible?” 

Hope shook her head.

“It’s a story of found family, aliens, and Krispy Kreme. It’s amazing.”

Lizzie gave Hope an unconvinced look.

“Also, they are all very attractive.”

Lizzie grinned and selected the movie.

“Glad to know you finally figured out where my interests lie.”

At some point in the movie, Hope’s attention drifted to her phone. She decided that she should probably text Josie. Hope and Lizzie had decided to confront her that night, and as annoyed as Hope was with her friend, she didn’t want her walking into a storm unprepared.

When Lizzie noticed Hope on her phone, she threw a pillow at her.

“Hey, we’re only watching this because you wanted to Mikealson. Eyes on the Tv, not on the phone.” 

Hope rolled her eyes and put her phone to the side, moving ever so slightly closer to Lizzie. When Lizzie didn’t shift away, and instead moved closer as well, Hope smiled.

Hey, she was watching a feel-good superhero movie with her crush, she was allowed to have a moment of weakness.

When the movie finished, Hope turned to Lizzie. 

“So, what did you think?” 

Lizzie shrugged, trying to look indifferent.

“It was alright.” 

Hope looked at her. A small smile appeared on Lizzie’s face.

“Okay, it was pretty cool. You were right, it was sort of awesome.” 

Hope bit her lip and grinned.

“Told you so.”  
Lizzie just rolled her eyes.

“You can’t tell anyone though; my reputation would be absolutely destroyed if anyone found out that I like dumb superhero movies.”

Hope decided to tease her, just a little bit.

“Oh, I am totally going to tell every single person I meet that you like dumb superhero movies.”

Lizzie shrugged.

“No one will believe you.”

“I’ll tell Penelope and Josie.” 

Lizzie gasped.

“Oh, you wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“If you take Satan’s side over mine, I will kill you.”

Hope just smiled and checked the time, trying to see nonchalant, as if she wasn't thrilled that there was still plenty of time before Josie got back and she had to leave.

“We've still got some time, you wanna watch something else?”

Lizzie nodded.

“Fine, but I’m picking it this time.” 

Lizzie’s choice was Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Hope had to admit that it was rather cool, even if it was a bit creepy at times.

“Okay, why do you like this show?”

“Because being a witch would be super cool. And also, because Sabrina is very cool character. Now shush, this parts’ really important.” 

When they were halfway into the second episode, Hope’s phone buzzed.

**Fire Girl: I’m on my way back now.**

**Fire Girl: Hope, I’m worried, what happened.**

Lizzie turned over to look. Just as she opened her mouth to presumably tell Hope off about having her phone on, Hope showed her the screen.

“It’s Jo.” 

Lizzie pursed her lips and paused the episode.

“Okay, so how do we want to do this?” 

“I say we keep watching, and when she gets in, we pause the episode and then talk to her. We need to know why she did it, and why she kept it from us all these years.”

Lizzie nodded.

“Good plan.” Lizzie played the episode again and Hope sent Josie two more texts.

**Hope: It’s okay, Lizzie’s fine now. We just need to have a talk.**

**Hope: I hope the party was fun.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick side note, Power Rangers is a very enjoyable movie and if you haven't seen it and you like stories about superheroes and dumb idiot teenagers saving the world, watch it.  
> Back to talking about the fic.  
> So, that was the second Hizzie part, next up we are going back to Josie and we're going to see her confrontation with Hope and Lizzie!  
> I'll see you guys soon, and I hope you all have a lovely day!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie finally talks to Hope and Lizzie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, and it's time for Josie to talk to Hope and Lizzie! Just a quick reminder that we're going back to Josie's POV for this chapter, just so we avoid confusion.  
> Enjoy!

The car ride back to Josie's house was silent. Josie got the feeling that Penelope’s mind was preoccupied with something, so she didn’t push.

She was too busy worrying about her own life. 

Specifically, about what might be waiting for her when she got home. 

Hope and Lizzie wanted to talk to her.

Together.

Hope and Lizzie voluntarily wanted to be in the same room.

This was either really good or really bad.

Judging by the texts, this was really bad for Josie.

There was only one thing that would bring them together.

The lies.

The lies that Josie had told both of them when she was a scared kid, trying to stop her sister from stealing her crush.

Josie’s reasons hadn’t exactly been very morally sound, and she had definitely regretted it ever since. But when she had done it, she had been convinced that it was the only thing to do. 

Her sister had been the centre of attention ever since they’d started middle school. Any friend that Josie had ever made, had immediately gravitated to Lizzie. Any friend of Lizzie’s saw Josie as a nobody, someone not worth interacting with. Josie had been left behind.

Then came Hope.

She’d transferred to their school from New Orleans when Josie had been 11. She’d been quiet, preferring to keep mostly to herself. Josie had been captivated by her and had tried her best to get close to her. 

They’d eventually become close, due to a project where they’d had to work together. They'd realised that they had much in common, and Josie had been thrilled when the two of them became friends. Then, one night, during a game of Truth or Dare, Josie had kissed Hope.

And suddenly Josie had realised that maybe she wasn’t as straight as she’d thought she was.

Once she figured out that she had a crush on Hope, Josie got scared. By this time Lizzie had had two boyfriends, both of whom Josie had been friends with at some point. Once Lizzie had got to them however, they’d basically ignored Josie. 

Josie didn’t know if Lizzie liked girls, but some irrational part of her was scared that the same thing would happen to Hope.

Josie had just wanted someone who cared about her as Josie, not as Lizzie’s sister.

So, she’d lied. She’d split them apart, using words that she knew would work. She’d nearly thrown up after doing it, because the act of hurting the people she cared about made her physically sick.

Although, it didn't really matter how bad she'd felt after it, because she'd done it, and no amount of regret could reverse that.

When her crush on Hope had faded, and she’d become certain that Hope wouldn’t just leave her, Josie had really started regretting it. Every time they were in a room together, Lizzie and Hope fought. And every time they fought, Josie felt that guilt grow just a little more painful.

So many times, she’d wanted to just tell them, tell them that all the fighting was meaningless, that Josie was the villain they were looking for. That they should be attacking her instead.

But instead she’d kept the secret buried, fearing that the backlash would be even worse if they ever knew that she was the reason for their hatred. 

She didn’t want to lose her best friend. And she didn’t want to lose her sister. 

But now…

Well, now they knew everything. 

Now Josie couldn’t hide anymore.

“Hey, JoJo, we’re here.”

Josie looked up startled. They were parked outside her house. Penelope was looking at her, concerned.

“Are you okay? You look sick.” 

She felt sick. She felt like she was going to die on the spot. Her head was spinning, her heart was pounding.

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” she lied. Penelope shook her head and reached her hand out, resting it on Josie’s cheek.

“Josie, this isn’t just you being tired. You look like you’re going to throw up.”

Josie shook her head, pulling away.

“It’s fine, it was probably just something I ate.”

Penelope didn’t relent.

“Josie, hey,” she titled Josie’s head to face her, “Talk to me.” Josie sighed, closing her eyes, feeling a tear escape.

"It's okay, just breathe, I can wait as long as you need."

Josie forced a thankful smile and nodded, trying to stop the spinning in her head.

When she finally felt mostly okay, she told Penelope the truth.

“When I was thirteen, I lied to Hope and Lizzie. I told them that the other had said things, and I made them hate each other. And now, I’m pretty sure that they just found out, and they want to talk to me about it, and I have no idea what to do.”

Penelope paused for a moment, looking at Josie in confusion.

“What did you say to them?”

“I told Lizzie that Hope thought she was a self-obsessed bipolar bitch, and I told Hope that Lizzie thought she was just some sad loser. But the worst part is that I kept it from them, all these years I’ve kept it from them. And I don’t know what happens next.” 

Penelope squeezed Josie’s hand. 

“Whatever happens, I’ll be here, okay? Just call me, or text me if you need someone to talk to. I know we aren’t really together, and that this relationship is fake, but,” Penelope took in a deep breath, and then bit her lip, before sighing and looking Josie in the eyes as she said

“I care, okay? And if you need me to be there for you, I’ll be there for you.” 

Josie couldn’t find the words to reply. She didn’t even know if she really believed Penelope. All she knew, was that the words meant something to her.

And they helped.

“Okay.”

Penelope nodded.

“You’ve got this. Besides, it’s impossible to hate you. And those two people in that house love you so much, they aren’t going to just throw that away. They’ll be hurt, but if you explain everything, and if you show them that you’re sorry, you’ll be okay.”

Josie nodded.

She gave Penelope a quick smile before climbing out the car and shutting the door.

Penelope didn’t drive away until Josie was at the door. Josie didn’t open the door until she was out of sight.

Time to face the music.

+++

When she entered the house, Lizzie and Hope were on the couch watching Tv. Josie didn’t say anything immediately, choosing to just stand there after shutting the door. 

Hope was the first to react, reaching for the remote, pausing the TV, and then nudging Lizzie. For a moment they all just stared at each other.

Hope looked like she was trying to prepare for the worst. 

Lizzie looked like the worst had already happened.

It tore at Josie’s heart to see her reddened eyes, the way she looked at Josie with betrayal.

She had a lot to make up to her sister. 

“So, I’m guessing we need to talk," she started. 

Hope nodded and stood up. She walked over to the light switch and turned it on, so that the room was lit by something other than the TV. 

“Do you know what this is about?” Hope asked. Josie hesitated before nodding slowly.

“I think so.” 

Hope waited, making a small gesture for Josie to elaborate.

Lizzie hadn’t moved from her spot under the blankets.

“Is this about why you two hate each other? Is this about what I said?” Josie already knew that that was what this was. She just needed to hear it from them.

Hope nodded.

“Yes.”

Josie’s stomach churned.

Hope stepped forwards, biting her lip. Then she began to speak.

“Look. I don’t know why you drove a wedge between me and Lizzie. I don’t know why you lied. But I would really like to. I want to know why my best friend would do something like that.” 

“And I want to know why my sister hates me so much.”

Both Hope and Josie turned to look at Lizzie, who was slowly rising off the couch.

“I don’t.” Josie knew that the words were falling on deaf ears, that she couldn't reason with Lizzie right now, but she needed to say something.

Lizzie just glared at Josie, tears at the corners of her eyes.

“Bullshit. You told me that Hope hated me, you told her that I hated her, when you knew that I just wanted to be friends with her. I thought that your recent behaviour was just Penelope’s bad influence, but now I see that you’ve always been like this. So, tell me why.”

Josie could practically feel her heart breaking. She’d never wanted this. She’d never wanted Lizzie to think that she hated her. She loved her sister. Yes, sometimes she just wished that her sister wasn’t always the centre of attention, sometimes she wished that she could step out of her shadow, but she didn’t hate her sister.

She just needed Lizzie to know that.

“I don’t hate you Lizzie. This wasn’t about me hating you, or me wanting to hurt you. This was me being a scared kid, who didn’t know what she wanted, and was trying to hide a secret.”

“What does that mean, what secret?” 

“You were talking about how you wanted to be friends with Hope. How you thought that if I was so obsessed with her there had to be a reason. And I panicked and I told you that I wasn’t obsessed with her, because I could never be obsessed with someone who would say such mean things about my twin.” 

Hope frowned.

“But I didn’t.”

“I know. I just made it up.” 

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want Lizzie to know the truth. I didn’t want her to know that I had a crush on you.” Josie waited a moment for her words to sink in.

Hope wasn’t surprised, obviously, she already knew. But Lizzie looked shocked. 

“You had a crush on Hope?”

“Yeah.”

Lizzie frowned. The betrayal had somewhat faded from her face, although her eyes still showed pain.

“Why would it matter that I knew? I would have been there for you, like you were there for me when I had my boyfriends.”

Josie sighed. Well, now was as good a time as ever to admit how she felt. Penelope would be so proud of her.

“Because any time I ever liked anyone, any time I had a friend, you would always go for them. And I’d lose another person. And this time I just wanted to have someone that was just mine. So, I got scared and I ended up hurting both of you.”

Josie felt like a weight had been taken from her shoulders. Well, at least that was out there now.

“And I’m sorry about lying. I’m sorry that I kept it from you, and I’m sorry that I hurt you. I shouldn’t have done any of it. I was just scared, but that doesn’t excuse any of it.

“And no matter what happens next, I’ll accept however you want to react. I just need you both to know how sorry I am for all of this.” 

Josie looked up at the two of them, forcing back her tears. This was not about her and her feelings right now. Right now, it was Hope and Lizzie who mattered the most. Hope took a tentative step forwards, placing her hand on Josie’s arm.

“Thank you for being honest and thank you for apologising. I’ll talk to you some more tomorrow, but right now, I think I should go home.” She looked between Josie and Lizzie.

“I think you two should talk.”

Neither of them moved or spoke as Hope left. After she shut the door, they just stared at each other. Josie was the first to speak.

“I understand if you hate me. I know that I hate me for all of this. And I know I’ve been horrible to you recently. I’m guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted, you deserve better than that. That’s all.”

Lizzie stared at the ground. Josie waited.

Josie wondered if maybe Penelope was wrong. Maybe Lizzie did hate her now. Maybe Lizzie was finally going to cut her off. Josie wondered what she’d do if that happened. She wondered if she would break up with Penelope. 

“I don’t hate you.”

Josie looked up. Lizzie was staring at her with an unreadable explanation.

“What?”

“I don’t hate you. I know that you were just scared. I understand very well. You know that. You know how much fear dictates all the decisions I’ve made. You know how many bad decisions I’ve made because I was scared. So, I can’t blame you for being scared.

“And as much as it hurts me that you did that, as much as it hurts me knowing that you lied about this, right now, what hurts the most is that I haven’t been here for you.”

“Lizzie this isn’t your fault.”

“Maybe not. But I haven’t exactly been the most supportive sister. I knew that you found it hard to have friends. I knew that a lot of the time I overshadowed you. I saw the way I made it harder for you to be you. And I’m sorry for that.”

Josie shook her head.

“No, co-dependency takes two. It’s as much my fault as it is yours. I was in the wrong, you don't have to excuse me.” 

Lizzie opened her mouth, then shut it, thinking about what Josie had just said.

Then she nodded.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Lizzie looked up at her.

"You were wrong. You hurt me. But I trust you when you say that you didn't do that to hurt me. So, I forgive you, and in return, I'm sorry for making you feel like you needed to do that."

Josie bit her lip and nodded.

"Thank you."

Lizzie just sighed, frowning in concentration.

“We need to be better. We can't like stuff like this get between us. I don't know about you, but not having my sister on my side this past week has sucked."

Josie nodded again. As much as 'stepping into the light' was awesome, she just wished that she could talk to Lizzie about it.

"How about we make a promise?” Lizzie suggested. Josie nodded.

“We tell each other the truth. No more lies. You trust me to not overshadow you, to be there for you, and I make sure that you aren’t in my shadow.”

Josie smiled. 

“I think I can agree to that.” 

Lizzie smiled at her. 

Josie was pretty sure that was the first time she’d seen Lizzie smile at her since their fight last week.

“So, how was the party?” 

Josie remembered the events of the night. Wow, it really seemed like that had been ages ago.

“It was sort of amazing. I get why you love those so much.”

Lizzie walked over to the kitchen.

“I’ll make us some hot chocolate. Dad will be back in like two hours, so we can talk a little bit more. I want to hear everything. Unless you and Satan did anything, you know, personal. I would rather not hear that.”

Josie rolled her eyes, fighting the blush creeping up her cheeks.

“We haven’t done anything.” 

Lizzie rose her eyebrows.

“Really? That’s surprising given her previous track record.” Josie sighed, walking over to where Lizzie was in the kitchen. If they were really going to do this, she needed to put an end to Lizzie's constant insulting of Penelope.

“Look, I know you hate her. But she’s going to be better to you. And she hasn’t done anything to hurt me. If she does anything to hurt me or you, I’ll break up with her. But can you please just trust me on this? You can’t control my life, I’m allowed to like people, I'm allowed to date who I want, so please, just trust me.” 

Lizzie looked at her for a moment, as if considering Josie’s request, and then sighed.

“Fine. I’ll trust you to not get corrupted by Satan. And I’ll try to not to be too much of a bitch to her."

Josie beamed at Lizzie.

“Thank you.” 

Lizzie shook her head.

“Honestly though, I have no idea what you see in her.”

Josie just sighed. Lizzie seemed to sense that the conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere, so she changed it.

“Now, the party, tell me everything.”

+++

Just before Josie went to bed that night, she checked her phone. Penelope had posted a new picture.

It was one of the selfies they’d taken at the party. The one where Josie was kissing Penelope’s cheek.

The caption read: You set my world on fire <3\. 

Josie rolled her eyes. Penelope really needed to get over that. Just because Josie really liked how pretty fire looked, and the way it smelled, and the times in chemistry when they got to burn things, didn’t mean-

Okay yeah maybe Josie was a bit of a pyromaniac. 

She looked at the photo. She looked so happy in it. Both of them did.

Josie typed a comment.

Jojosaltz: You are such a dork <3.

When Penelope replied, barely a minute later, Josie didn’t even try to pretend that her heart rate sped up. 

Even if she would totally deny it in the morning.

pen_park: Love you too Jojo.

Then a text from Penelope popped up.

**Penelope 😊: Hey, how’d the talk go**

**Josie: It went well, you were right**

**Penelope 😊: Happens a lot**

**Josie: Don’t let it get to your head**

**Penelope 😊: too late**

**Penelope😊: but you’re okay?**

**Josie: yeah, I’m okay**

**Penelope😊: good**

**Josie: alright, I’m going to go to sleep soon. Thanks for checking up on me.**

**Penelope😊: My pleasure**

**Penelope😊: sleep well jojo xx**

Josie smiled and put her phone away.

Okay, so maybe she hadn’t told Lizzie her relationship with Penelope was fake. And maybe she hadn’t told Lizzie about the letters. But she just wasn't sure if she could tell Lizzie. Knowing her sister, she'd probably freak out.

Lizzie had agreed to let her be with Penelope without too much complaint. And Hope and Lizzie finally knew the truth. That was good enough for now. She'd tell Lizzie about everything eventually.

Right now, Josie thought that she was pretty okay with the way that things were going.

Maybe things would be alright after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Josie, if only you knew what I have planned for you.  
> I hope you guys liked the way I wrote the chapter, and that you think I managed to address the main issues. Don't worry, Josie will be having a more in depth talk with Hope about this, so we aren't just forgetting about it.   
> This conversation will come up again in the fic, because I think it's an important step, and we can't just move on like it never happened.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, please leave a comment telling me what you thought, and I hope you have a wonderful day!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm back with a slightly longer chapter! We're doing a bit of a time jump, so this chapter takes place a month after the last one. It's basically a collection of little scenes, don't worry, there's plenty of Posie in this one, as well as a nice little Hope and Josie moment.   
> Enjoy!

Penelope and Josie had been fake dating now for about a month and Josie was surprised that it was still going well.

The day after Josie and Lizzie had made up, Lizzie had dragged Penelope and Josie to the side to give Penelope a proper ‘sister shovel talk so that Satan doesn’t try anything stupid’.

Penelope had at least kept her mouth shut and refrained from making any stupid comments. Lizzie had told Penelope that if she did anything to hurt Josie, Lizzie would make her life hell and snap her arms like twigs.

Penelope had just smiled and said

“Love you too Lizzie.”

They hadn’t really spoken since, but Josie was glad that their fighting had died down.

The novelty of Josie and Penelope dating had worn off, and people had stopped treating their relationship like it was entertainment. Now in the corridors, people didn’t stop to stare when Josie and Penelope walked down the corridor together, holding hands.

Josie had to admit she was a little relieved. It had been getting sort of weird. 

Some things didn’t change.

Penelope still posted a picture of Josie on her Instagram story every day. 

Josie still rolled her eyes and blushed whenever Penelope made a suggestive comment.

Penelope still gave Josie notes when Dana was watching.

Josie still didn’t read them.

Hope still made fun of them, calling them vomit inducing whenever she got a chance.

Lizzie still glared at Penelope across hallways, and Penelope still glared back.

Some things changed.

If Lizzie and Penelope were fighting, Josie could glare at both of them, and they would relent. 

Josie was getting closer with Penelope’s friends, and actually sat with them at lunchtimes. Jed was still a bit rough around the edges, and said more stupid things than Josie could count, but Josie was getting to know that he was actually a very passionate guy, who absolutely loved his friends. 

Landon was quiet, but thoughtful. Josie really liked his company. He was in her Music class, and now during classes, sometimes they would talk about the pieces they were working on. He had some really good ideas, and Josie was happy to talk with someone who thought the way he did.

And then there was MG, who was obsessed with superheroes, and manged to sneak about fifty references to them in every conversation Josie had with him. Josie really appreciated his jokes and he had a way of making every situation way less stressful that really came in handy.

The only one she didn't really talk to as much was probably Kaleb, but from what Josie could tell, he was a lot smarter than he let on, and he seemed to have a secret passion for musical theater.

Hope actually fit in well with the group. Her and Landon had basically just bonded over being introverts, and apparently her and Jed went to the same gym. 

Who knew that Hope Mikealson, the renowned loner, could make friends so quickly?

And then of course there was Hope and Lizzie.

When Lizzie and Hope interacted, there was no anger. Instead, there was friendship, like they hadn't spent the past five years hating each other. They had inside jokes now, and they even spent time with each other, without Josie.

And well, Josie may have been feeling a little insecure about that. Even though she knew that Hope was allowed to be friends with her sister, even though she knew that her sister had basically been waiting to be friends with Hope for years, she still felt worried that she would be left behind.

Just because she had other people, didn’t mean that she didn’t still want her best friend to be her best friend. 

And then there was Penelope.

Josie had no idea how to feel about Penelope. Sometimes they would talk, and it would just be causal joking, nothing too deep, both of them knowing the other had their walls up.

And sometimes conversation would get real. Sometimes they would look at each other for too long, touches would linger, and words meant something deeper.

Those times were the best times, but they were also the times that scared Josie the most.

She hadn’t lied when she’d told Penelope that she was scared of people getting close, because then they could just walk away. 

In those moments when everything felt too real, Josie realised that she was giving too much of herself to Penelope. When Penelope left, Josie would be shattered.

+++

Josie was sitting on her bed, doing Trigonometry homework, when Hope texted.

**Wonder Woman: I’m bored, can we hang out?**

Josie frowned. Hope hadn’t asked her to hang out in ages. If they’d hung out, it would be with Lizzie, or with Penelope and her friends. If they texted, it was usually on their group chat with Penelope. And maybe she was a little hurt by that. And maybe Josie was just a little bit petty.

**Josie: I have Trig homework, maybe try Lizzie or Penelope, I’m sure they’ll be there for you.**

**Wonder Woman: Okay, let me rephrase that**

**Wonder Woman: I want to spend time with my best friend, because I want to talk to her, and I am well aware that the trig homework is due in five days, so please can we hang out?**

Josie sighed. When she put it like that, Josie couldn’t let her pettiness win over. And besides, best friend time with Hope sounded really nice.

**Josie: Okay, come over. We can talk on the roof.**

**Wonder Woman: nice, I’ll see you in five.**

Josie smiled. Trig could wait.

+++

Hope and Josie were lying on the rooftop, wrapped in blankets, staring at the sky. 

“Do you think aliens exist?” Hope asked. Josie turned to look at her.

“That's a very random question. Why?”

Hope shrugged.

“I don’t know. Just feeling existential I guess.”

Josie sighed and turned to stare up at the sky. It was late in the afternoon, and the sky was slightly pink around the horizon. Clouds stretched as far as the eye could see. 

It was times like these that Josie was acutely aware of how big the universe was and just how small she was amongst it.

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, it’s a big world. We can’t be the only things out here.” 

Hope nodded.

“Guess not.” 

They both stared at the sky in silence for a few more moment, before Josie spoke again.

“I get the feeling that you didn’t come here just so we could talk about aliens.” 

Hope shrugged.

“I didn’t really have much of a motive. I just wanted to spend time with my best friend.”

Josie sighed.

“I feel like we need to talk.”

Hope made a noncommittal noise.

“Only if you want to.”

Josie sighed again.

“I just feel like I need to fully apologise to you for the whole ‘lying to you about Lizzie hating you, and then making Lizzie hate you’ thing. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have hurt you like that. I shouldn’t have waited this long to say that. I just want you to know how sorry I am for that.”

Hope nudged Josie’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. I get it. You just wanted someone to care about you. I think that’s one of the most normal things ever, just wanting someone to be there for you. And while you didn’t go about it in a good way, it’s not something I feel the need to dwell on.” 

Josie smiled. She knew that Hope had dealt with the reveal in her own way, and she knew that Hope had forgiven her, but it still felt nice to hear her say it out loud.

“When did you get so wise?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe it comes with age.”

“Okay, you are six months older than me so get off your high horse.” 

They both started laughing and Josie felt so calm and happy in that moment. Then Hope turned to her.

“Okay, so I know I’m fine with everything, but, how are you? Your text earlier sounded, well, sort of petty.”

Josie sighed again. Time to casually bring up some insecurities.

“I don’t know. It just hasn’t felt like you really wanted to hang out with me over this last month.” Josie stared at the sky, waiting for Hope’s reaction.

She heard Hope turn over to look at her.

“Come on. I had my little speech, it’s your turn now," she said, tapping the back of Josie's hand.

Josie bit her lip, before slowly letting her worries out.

“I’m just scared, I guess. And I know we had a big talk, and there was lots of me saying I’m sorry for splitting you and Lizzie up, and I told you that I wasn’t worried about you two anymore, but I guess I lied a little.”

“What does that mean?”

“I know you and Lizzie have a lot of time to make up for in the friendship department, and I know that’s my fault. But just,” Josie sighed.

“Don’t leave me behind. I don’t want to lose you.” 

Hope reached out and took Josie’s hands.

“Hey, look at me.”

Josie rolled her head to face Hope. Hope smiled at her softly.

“You aren’t going to lose me. I’m not going to replace you with Lizzie. I know you’re always scared about that stuff, but it’s okay. I’m your best friend, and nothing with Lizzie is going to change that.” 

For a moment, Josie swore that Hope looked like she was considering saying something, but then she shook her head and squeezed Josie’s hand. 

“No matter what. I love you Jo.” 

Josie smiled.

“Love you too Hope.”

They lay on that rooftop for the rest of the afternoon, just enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes, Josie wished moments like this were forever.

+++

That Monday, Penelope was acting weird. She didn’t make eye contact with Josie, and she kept fidgeting the whole time they talked. 

Josie would almost say that she was nervous, but Penelope Park didn’t get nervous.

Josie eventually asked her about it on their way to Chemistry.

“Are you okay, you seem a little off today?” 

“Maybe I’m just tired.”

Josie was not undeterred.

“It’s you. You don’t get ‘just tired’.”

“Maybe I’m being chased by a headless horseman.” 

“If you don’t give me a genuine reason, I’ll have no choice but to believe that you are high.”

Penelope rolled her eyes.

“Please, like I would ever come to school high. My name is not Jed, in case you forgot.” 

Josie nudged her shoulder. Penelope sighed overdramatically.

“Okay fine I’ll tell you. Just not here, later.”

Josie frowned, but at Penelope’s insistent stare, she relented.

Chemistry had been one of the times where everything felt so different. Now, Josie sat with Penelope and Landon towards the side of the class. Hope and Lizzie sat together on the table in front of them. Josie found that Penelope and Landon were actually not a terrible influence, and they actually got work done.

Sure, one time she’d nearly poured hydrochloric acid onto Landon’s hand because Penelope had put her hand on Josie’s thigh, but apart from that, it was fine.

At least Josie didn’t have to keep flicking Hope’s head to wake her up. That was Lizzie’s problem now. 

This particular Chemistry lesson was just a boring lecture lesson. Everyone had their notebooks out, but no one appeared to be writing.

Even Josie didn’t care. Covalent bonding was not exactly something that she cared greatly about. 

Landon was scribbling something in his notebook, and Hope and Lizzie were having a whispered conversation, but the only thing that Josie could focus on was that Penelope was resting her head on Josie’s shoulder, hands tapping aimlessly on the desk.

Josie should be used to people using her as a pillow. Hope was always tired, and both of her siblings had fallen asleep on her during movie nights. 

So, why was this so distracting? And why was Josie’s heart beating so fast?

If it had been Hope sleeping on her, Josie would have just shrugged her off. But for some reason, Josie didn’t want to move. 

She looked down at Penelope’s fidgeting hands. And then she slowly reached out and took them both in her hand.

Penelope’s movements stilled, and she didn’t shift from her shoulder.

Josie tried to casually let out a breath, like she hadn’t been stressing about whether Penelope would freak out.

If Penelope asked, she could just say it was making them look more couply.

She leant her head on top of Penelope’s and smiled.

Hey, it felt really nice, and it wasn’t like Josie was going to be paying attention anyways. 

Penelope didn’t move again all lesson, and when she woke up at the end, Josie had to try really hard to pretend that she hadn’t just been smiling.

+++

Penelope and Josie were just casually walking through the cafeteria, making their way to their usual spot, when Penelope leant up to whisper in Josie’s ear.

“Do you trust me?” 

Josie didn’t even need to think about her response.

“Yes.” She wondered if this was their thing now. 

Penelope nodded.

They took a few more steps, and then Penelope moved.

Josie felt her hand reach into Josie’s back pocket, and then suddenly she was spinning around into Penelope’s arms. 

“Hey,” Penelope said with a small smile. Josie blushed, ignoring how quickly her heart was beating.

“Hey,” she replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Judging by Penelope’s smirk, it didn’t work.

“I have something for you.” Penelope reached into her pocket and pulled out a note. Josie smiled.

Even if the notes were meaningless, she still loved being given them. It made her feel special, like she Penelope cared about her, even if it was just for a moment.

Penelope leaned into her ear.

“Make sure you read this one, I wrote something on it.”

Oh, so Penelope had actually decided to use the notes.

Josie wondered if this had something to do with why Penelope had been so nervous all morning.

They sat down at their table. The four boys, Jed, Landon, Kaleb, and MG were all staring at them. Jed did a little wolf whistle at them.

“That was cute. Cuz, I didn’t know that you have moves like that.” 

Penelope rolled her eyes.

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a girlfriend.” 

He pouted at that and Landon laughed at him.

“Cheer up, I don’t either.” 

Jed kept frowning.

“Yeah, but that’s because you’re lame.” 

Landon’s mouth opened in mock offense. Kaleb laughed and slapped Landon on the back.

“Okay, rude," Landon grumbled.

“Can’t hide from the truth Phoenix boy," Kaleb said with a laugh. Landon went red.

“Just because I caught fire one time-”

“You what?” Hope interrupted, sitting down, eyes wide. Landon looked down at the table. 

Jed grinned.

“Oh, you’ve got to hear this story. It’s so funny.”

He proceeded to tell a story about the time at 6th grade camp, when Jed, Rafael, Landon, and MG had gotten lost in the woods. Jed and Rafael had started fighting, while Landon and MG tried to figure out where they were. 

It had gotten dark, and they’d tried to set a fire at one point, which had resulted in MG setting Landon’s jacket ablaze. They’d freaked out, Rafael had accidentally hit MG, and when the teachers had found them, they were all crying, except for Jed, who had managed to distance himself from the drama. 

Josie had heard the story before, Rafael had told her, and it had basically been the same, but where Jed insulted Rafael, it was Rafael insulting Jed.

Those two really hated each other.

Penelope ate a chip and then nudged Josie’s shoulder.

“You would have loved to see that, wouldn't you Jojo?”

“What?”

“Someone getting set on fire. That’s like your number one fantasy, right?"

Josie playfully hit Penelope’s arm as everyone else on the table laughed at her.

“Keep it up and you’ll be the one getting set on fire.”

All the boys started laughing even harder at that. At least Hope had the decency to pretend that she wasn't amused.

Penelope just winked at Josie.

“You can set me on fire anytime you want JoJo.” 

Josie went red and looked down. She really needed to learn how to not get flustered every time Penelope made a suggestive comment.

Hope pretended to throw up.

“Gross, get a room you two.”

Penelope just grinned and ate another chip.

Josie turned her head away to look around the cafeteria aimlessly.

Unfortunately, this meant making eye contact with the last person she wanted to make eye contact with.

Rafael.

He was holding his tray, staring over at where Josie was sitting, like a lost puppy.

Josie felt a little guilty.

She’d maybe been ignoring him completely for the past month.

Ever since the letters got released really.

She probably should have talked to him by now, but time made everything harder.

And she kind of liked living in her no conflict zone.

She averted her eyes, tuning back into the conversation, laughing at MG’s dumb jokes.

Rafael was a problem for another day.

+++

After lunch, Penelope walked Josie to her locker. 

“Okay, so I know you have music now, so have fun with Hope and Landon doing whatever it is that you do in there, but can I give you another friendly reminder to please read my note?” 

Josie smiled and pulled it out of her pocket.

“I can read it now if you want?”

Penelope bit her lip. 

“Uh, yeah, sure.” 

Josie wasn’t sure why Penelope was so skittish about this. Knowing Penelope, it was something super simple that she was overdramatising.

Josie had come to learn that she overthought things a lot. 

Josie unrolled the note. It read:

_Hey Jojo, I know I should ask you this face to face, but I chickened out, so, here._

_My mum wants to meet you. So, please come to dinner with me on Friday night._

_Penelope_

Josie felt her heart skip about three beats.

So, they were at the ‘meeting the family stage’ of this fake-relationship.

Even if Penelope had met her dad ages ago.

That didn’t count.

Because Penelope was super chill and charming and had managed to get Josie’s dad, who’d heard so many bad stories over the years, to like her.

Josie was not super chill or charming.

Knowing her, she’d probably stumble over her words, or say the wrong thing, or embarrass herself.

Okay, maybe Penelope wasn’t the only one with an overthinking problem. But Josie was still terrified.

She looked up at Penelope, who was anxiously waiting her reaction. Penelope must have seen the look on her face, because she immediately began to ramble.

“Look, you don’t have to, but she keeps on talking about how she wants to meet you, because she only saw Dana like twice, and she wants to make sure that you’re a good person. But if you don’t want to, I can just say that you’re busy or something, it’s totally fine.”

Josie looked at Penelope. She was sort of cute when she was nervous. 

“Do you want me to do this?”

Penelope’s mouth fell open, and she shrugged.

“I don’t really know. I think so.” 

Josie expected her to pull out some reasoning relating to their fake dating, and how it would be beneficial, but Penelope just looked down, and fiddled with the end of her jacket.

And Josie suddenly felt a wave of confidence. She could do this. Penelope wanted her to meet her mum, and she was going to make the best impression ever. 

“Okay.” 

Penelope looked up at her in shock.

“Wait, really?”

Josie nodded.

“I will have dinner with your family on Friday night.” 

Penelope still looked nervous.

“Are you sure? Jed will probably be there, and you know how he is, and my mum will probably ask a million questions-”

“Penelope, do you want me to meet your mother or not?”

Penelope stared at her dumbly, before nodding slowly.

“Then I’m coming.” Josie shut her locker.

“I’m going to go to music, I’ll text you after school, okay?” 

Penelope nodded, still in a daze. Then she shook her head, as if clearing it, and nodded with more vigour, smiling brightly.

“Awesome. Thank you so much!” 

Josie smiled at Penelope.

“Anything for my girlfriend.” Then she quickly kissed Penelope’s forehead and walked away. 

The moment she was out of sight of Penelope, it was like her thoughts went back to normal.

Woah. 

Okay, first of all, could that assertive side of herself please come out way more often? 

It would be a great help in many situations.

Second, she’d just agreed to go to dinner with Penelope, her mum, and Jed. As Penelope’s girlfriend.

Okay, sure, she could do this.

Piece of cake, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter and that you enjoyed the little Posie moments! Next chapter will not be the dinner, but there will still be lots of Posie (as always), as well as a conversation with another character that has been a long time coming.  
> I'll see you soon, but until then, farewell!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie tries to distract herself with the help of Penelope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's that time again! It's time for a new chapter! This one features an unfortunate appearance of Rafael being a jerk, and Josie being so in denial about her emotions that it's almost painful.  
> Enjoy!

It was Thursday afternoon, and Josie was sitting in her room, trying to understand the Chemistry homework in front of her.

It was not going well.

Josie’s mind was not wired for this type of thing. She would much rather be doing her music homework, but the Chemistry was due before the Music, so she had to do that first.

Why had she chosen to do Chemistry as a subject again?

The doorbell rang, and Josie breathed a sigh of relief, as she pushed away her books to go answer the door.

It was either Penelope or Hope and Josie could really do with a distraction from one of them.

She opened the door with a bright smile, but the moment she saw who was standing outside, it fell away.\

Rafael.

She'd forgotten about him.

Guess that it was finally time to talk to him.

“Can we talk now?” He looked desperate, and almost a little angry. Josie just nodded and walked outside, shutting the door behind her.

Even if she was going to talk with him, she would prefer to not invite him into the house. This way, if things went bad, she could just walk away.

Josie turned to face Rafael and gestured for him to speak.

“I can’t believe that you’re dating Penelope.”

“Why? Is it so unbelievable that I could be in a relationship?”

He scowled and shook his head.

“No, of course not, but you’re this sweet innocent girl, and she’s a complete bitch!”

Josie frowned, folding her arms across her chest.

“Don’t call her that.” 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I know, sorry, but you know that I’m right. Don’t you remember all those times she attacked Lizzie?”

Josie sighed. How many times exactly was she going to have to defend Penelope Park to people? Could nobody see that maybe Penelope wasn’t what she pretended to be?

“She’s not a bad person.” 

He shook his head.

“You know that’s not true.” 

Josie just sighed again.

“Look, if the whole reason you came to talk to me was because you wanted to tell me that Penelope was a bad person, then I’m going to go back inside.”

She turned to leave, but felt his hand touch her arm.

“Wait.”

Once upon a time, that would have sent chills through her entire body.

Now, she felt nothing.

She turned to face him again.

“Did you mean what you wrote in that letter?” His eyes searched her face as if somehow it would give him the answer.

Josie wasn’t sure how to proceed. Because, yes, she had meant it. But now, she was pretty sure those feelings were gone.

“I don’t know, it was a long time ago.” 

Rafael shook his head.

“Not for me it isn’t. For me this is all new, and I just want to understand.” Judging by earlier in the cafeteria and now, Rafael was trying to make ‘wounded puppy dog’, his new look.

Josie wondered when things had changed. When she’d gone from nearly dying just by being in his presence, to looking at him with mild annoyance and pity.

“Jo, you’ve got to tell me what to do. Because even if I wasn’t meant to see that letter, I did, and it feels like everything is changing.”

“Don’t tell Lizzie.”

Raf threw his hands up and made a noise of frustration.

“Lizzie isn’t talking to me, you know that.”

Josie stared at him. This whole conversation made her feel sick. She hated seeing Rafael so lost, even if she didn’t like him anymore.

She smiled sadly at him and turned to leave again.

Rafael yelled after her.

“That’s it? I break up with Lizzie, you start dating Penelope, and now we aren’t even friends?”

Josie spun back around.

“Rafael, I don’t know how to be friends with you like this. We can’t go back to any point in the past.”

He sighed.

“If I’d know that I’d lose both of you like this I wouldn’t have-”

“Don’t. Don’t finish that sentence.”

Rafael stared at her. Then he swallowed and looked down at his feet. She barely heard his next words.

“I’m sorry.”

She sighed.

"Come and find me when you're ready to not be a jerk."

Then she turned away and walked back inside.

When she was back in her room, she stared at her phone, scrolling through old pictures of her and Rafael.

She’d been so in love with him, where had all that gone? How had they gotten here?

Her phone buzzed.

**Penelope😊: hey im doing chem homework and im lost please distract me**

**Josie: Do your homework**

**Penelope😊: rude**

**Penelope😊: have you done it**

**Josie: I’m in the middle of doing it**

**Penelope😊: so really you’re doing no better than I am**

**Josie: what page are you on**

**Penelope😊: 1**

**Josie: There are five pages**

**Penelope😊: well shit**

Okay, maybe she had some idea of how this had happened. Penelope being close to her had definitely changed things. 

In a way, Penelope had become what she’d always wanted, someone who was always there for her, and who cared about her above Lizzie.

Not that they were together, not for real.

And not that Josie liked Penelope.

She didn’t. 

Penelope was her fake girlfriend, and Josie did not want her to become her real girlfriend.

No number of butterflies, or heads on shoulders, or overly dramatic spins, or blank notes, or dumb jokes, or pretty smiles would change that.

Josie wondered when those arguments started sounding so fake.

She wondered when butterflies had officially been added to the list.

No.

She didn’t like Penelope, she didn’t.

She just needed to remember that, and she’d be fine. 

Still, Josie did like her company, and she hadn’t spent time with Penelope in a while. And so maybe, she had an idea, but it was totally logical, it had nothing to do with Josie liking Penelope, because she didn’t. 

**Josie: do you want to come over, we can work on it together**

She was just inviting Penelope over because it was a nice thing to do.

Penelope needed help; they could figure it out together.

It had nothing to do with the fact that she wanted Penelope to make her feel better by making jokes and smiling and calling her increasingly cute names.

**Penelope😊: wait serious**

**Josie: yes**

**Penelope😊: that would be awesome**

**Penelope😊: I’ll be there in ten**

Yep, her heartbeat speeding up, and her smile growing tenfold was just a normal reaction to a friend coming over.

+++

Penelope looked around Josie’s room with a small smile on her face. Josie feared that she was going to make fun of it, and she folded her arms across her chest self-consciously.

“I know it’s a little messy, and the decorations are really old, and I should probably clean up here.” She tapped her fingers on her elbow, not unfolding her arms, and kept watching Penelope with a nervous expression.

Penelope turned to face her, still smiling.

“I love it.”

Josie smiled nervously.

“Really?” 

Penelope nodded.

“You can tell that it’s your room. It looks exactly like I’d imagined your room looking.” Penelope’s eyes widened in panic.

“Not that I’d imagined your room or anything. Just that,” she gestured vaguely, “well, it reminds me of you.”

Josie smiled.

“Well, thanks, I think.”

Penelope laughed.

“Anytime.” 

For a moment they just looked at each other, smiling, glad to be there. Josie’s heart skipped a beat and she turned away to hide the blush that was creeping up her cheeks.

“Well, we should um,” she cleared her throat, “we should do the chemistry homework.” 

The smile on Penelope’s face dropped for a moment as she nodded.

“Uh, yeah, yeah let’s do that.” 

For the next two hours, they found themselves working through the questions. They didn’t talk that much, but both felt comfortable being in each others presence. 

Josie pretended not to notice Penelope moving closer throughout the afternoon, and Penelope pretended not to notice Josie blushing every time she did so.

It was a good system. 

Josie wasn’t really aware of the passage of time in that moment. All she knew was that one moment Penelope was leaning her head on Josie's shoulder as they stared at chemical formulas, and the next Pedro was knocking on her door.

“Hey, Jo, it’s dinner time.” She snapped her head to the door. It was open, and Pedro was watching them with a smirk on his face. 

Josie didn’t know why she felt like he’d just walked in on them doing something, well, more intimate than chemistry homework.

“Uh, yeah just give me a second and I’ll come down and make you something.”

Pedro gave them both one more look before heading downstairs.

Josie turned back to Penelope.

“Okay, so, do you want to go now?” Josie tried to ignore the part of herself that really did not want Penelope to leave. 

Penelope tilted her head to the side and smiled.

“Not really, to be perfectly honest with you.” 

Josie blushed.

“Unless of course you want me to leave, in which case I can go.” 

Josie shook her head.

“No, no, I want you to stay.”

Penelope grinned at her.

“You want me to stay?”

Josie knew that her face was bright red now. 

Was there like a pill or something you could take to stop blushing? 

Because Josie really needed something like that. 

Especially around Penelope Park.

She nodded at Penelope and Penelope stood up.

“Well then we’d better get downstairs. I can’t wait to see what Josie Saltzman makes for dinner.”

Josie stood up and led her out of the room.

“It’s literally just toasted cheese sandwiches.”

“Good thing that I love toasted cheese sandwiches then.”

+++

It was 7:32pm on Thursday, and Josette Saltzman was currently experiencing what may or may not be pure euphoria. 

Because Penelope was sitting on her couch, watching The Greatest Showman with her and Pedro.

Because Penelope was playing with Josie’s hair, and singing along to the music, even though she claimed to have only seen the movie once. 

She looked so happy and Josie wasn’t even sure at what point the afternoon of homework had turned into movie night, but at this point Josie really did not care.

Lizzie was off at a sleepover, their dad was taking the night shift, so it was just them. 

Josie absolutely loved it.

“Okay, you told me you’ve only seen this once.” 

Penelope grinned at Josie.

“Well, I may have only seen this once, but I’ve listened to the soundtrack like a million times.” 

“Nerd.”

“I’m not the one with a Taylor Swift poster in her bedroom.” 

Josie slapped Penelope’s arm.

“Okay, that has nothing to do with the argument, you just wanted to make fun of me.” 

Penelope just kept smiling at Josie.

Pedro shushed them.

“Quiet, they’re talking about something.”

Josie turned back to the Tv, ignoring the fact that Penelope had started tracing patterns on the back of Josie’s hand.

During the movie, every time a song came on, Penelope decided that she was going to overdramatically perform it. Pedro ended up joining in and Josie laughed at the two of them.  
She knew that Pedro was getting attached to Penelope, and Josie really couldn’t blame him. She felt a little sad that moments like this would be lost when she and Penelope ended their deal. 

It suddenly struck her that she didn’t want to lose Penelope. 

Josie wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that.

Penelope seemed to notice that something was wrong, because she moved closer to Josie, putting her arm around Josie’s shoulders.

She leaned over to Josie and whispered in her ear.

“Are you okay?” Josie felt goosebumps run down her arms when Penelope’s breath hit her ear.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.” She gave Penelope a quick smile. Penelope seemed to decide that she didn’t need to worry, so she moved away.

Her arm did not move from Josie’s shoulders.

Josie just smiled and cuddled into her just a little more.

Even if Pedro rolled his eyes at them and pretended to be grossed out, she didn't care. She just wanted to be close to Penelope.

During the last song, even Josie joined in singing. 

When the movie finished, and Pedro had left, just as Penelope was getting ready to leave, she looked at Josie with a surprised smile on her face.

“I’ve never heard you sing before.” 

Josie looked away, feeling self-conscious.

“Yeah, I don’t really like singing in front of people.” 

Penelope took Josie’s hand and Josie looked up at her. She looked so pretty, with only the light of the Tv in the room, her hair messed up, and her little smile directed at Josie.

“Well, I think that you sound beautiful.” 

Josie really wanted to kiss her.

Suddenly, she became very aware of how close Penelope was, of every single place where Penelope was touching her, her hand on Josie’s thigh, their knees touching, their arms just brushing.

She could kiss Penelope.

Right now.

Pedro was upstairs. Lizzie and her dad were out.

And Penelope was right there.

They looked at each other, and for a moment, Josie swore that Penelope was leaning in.

Then Penelope’s phone went off, and whatever moment had formed between the two of them was shattered.

Penelope lifted her phone to her ear.

“Hello? Oh, hey mum…yeah I’ll be home soon, the movie just finished…yes I’ve had dinner, you don’t need to worry…yep okay, love you too.” She slid her phone back into her pocket.

“I’d better get going, don’t want to worry her.” 

Josie nodded, although her mind was a million miles away, currently panicking about everything that had just happened.

“Yeah, okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Penelope nodded. 

“Okay, cool.” She hesitated, looking up at Josie. Then she darted forwards and quickly kissed Josie on the cheek.

“See you JoJo.”

And then she was gone.

Josie stared at the wall.

Okay. 

What the hell had just happened?

Josie wasn’t going to lie and say that she hadn’t thought of kissing Penelope since the day they signed their contract, because she had. 

Penelope was a very attractive person, and Josie was only human after all.

But this was the first time that she’d actually thought that she might follow through with it. 

So, what did that mean?

Josie shook her head, trying to clear it, but thoughts of Penelope remained, and so did the feeling in her stomach, the feeling like there were a hundred butterflies in there, trying to escape.

No.

No, absolutely not.

She did not have feelings for Penelope Park.

And even if she did, they were old feelings, dead feelings.

No, she didn’t like Penelope Park, and that was final.

If only her heart could slow down and realize that. 

If only her mind could actually believe that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josie, sweetie, I hate to be the one to tell you but you definitely have feelings for Penelope Park.  
> I haven't done this in a few chapters, so it's time for me once again to let you all know how much I love getting comments and kudos on this fic. It's really great to see that you love it as much as I do!  
> I'll see you soon!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie has dinner with Penelope's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay, I've been busy this past week, but to make up for it, this chapter is slightly longer! Get ready for a chapter full of Josie telling herself that she doesn't like Penelope, and then proceeding to be in love with Penelope!  
> Enjoy!

It was thirty minutes before Penelope was meant to pick up Josie to take to dinner, and Josie was still panicking over what to wear.

It suddenly felt like she owned no nice clothes at all. 

She’d been to so many events over the years, and suddenly, she had nothing, absolutely nothing, to wear. 

Maybe this was a sign.

A sign that she should crawl under her bed and hide there for the rest of eternity.

Lizzie swung the door open.

“Are you okay, because I keep hearing noises of distress and thumps coming from your room, and that’s usually my job.” Lizzie scanned the room, wrinkling her nose.

“What exactly are you doing?”

Josie sighed and threw her hands in the air.

“I’m looking for an outfit.”

Lizzie stared at her blankly.

“Why?”

Oh, right, she hadn’t told Lizzie yet.

“Well, I’m going to have dinner with Penelope’s family tonight.” Josie looked up at Lizzie, trying to gauge her reaction. 

Because while they weren’t hellbent on killing each other, that didn’t mean that Lizzie didn’t still hate Penelope.

Lizzie frowned.

“Dinner? With Penelope? I didn’t think she had a family, besides that brute of a cousin that she has.” 

Josie gave Lizzie a look and she held her hands up in surrender.

“Okay, sorry, got it, no comments about Penelope.” She gave Josie an apologetic smile. Josie returned it. At least Lizzie had been trying to be better recently.

Lizzie stepped further into Josie’s room.

“Alright, so, you’re having dinner with your girlfriend’s family. And you need an outfit, as well as hair and makeup.” Lizzie looked at Josie. 

“And when are you leaving?” 

“In half an hour.”

Lizzie’s eyes practically exploded out of her head.

“Half an hour? Jo, I need way more time than that if I’m going to prepare a look that will make them fall in love with you.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t need that, I just need to look nice. And nothing too extravagant, this isn’t that serious.”

Lizzie sighed.

“Okay, I can settle for nice. But you must listen to and acknowledge all my suggestions, alright?” 

Josie nodded. If Lizzie was the one planning her outfit, she should be fine.

Josie had been through a lot of helping Lizzie get ready, but she had never actually been the one getting ready. It was quite nice having Lizzie help her out. 

Lizzie turned to her when she was finished.

“Come with me, look at yourself in the mirror.” 

Josie did as she was told. She had to admit, Lizzie had done a good job with her hair and makeup, and the outfit she had chosen was cute. It was a nice simple blue sweater and black jeans. 

Lizzie smiled at her in the mirror and ran her fingers through Josie hair.

“I love it when you have your hair out like this, you look so pretty.”

Josie was instantly reminded of what Penelope had told her on the night of that party.

She leaned into her sister, smiling.

“Thanks Liz.”

+++  
Josie waited downstairs until there came a knock at the door. Her dad insisted that he answer it. When Penelope walked in, Josie’s heartbeat sped up, and she could not stop herself from smiling.

No. 

Feelings bad. 

Penelope stared at Josie, her mouth hanging open a little.

“You look,” Penelope cleared her throat, “you look really pretty JoJo.” 

Josie blushed.

“Thanks, you look good too.” Josie wasn’t lying, obviously, Penelope always looked good, but today her outfit was just a simple black sweater and black jeans. Honestly, Josie was so jealous of the way she could make anything look good.

Her dad cleared his throat.

“Alright, you two best be off now. Josie, you’re coming back at eleven, right?” 

Josie nodded. He smiled.

“Okay, hope it goes well!” He patted Josie on the shoulder.

Josie smiled at her dad before standing and walking out with Penelope.

When they got into the car, the nervousness Penelope had had on the day she’d given Josie the note seemed to have returned.

Josie nudged Penelope with her shoulder.

“It’s alright Pen, I’m sure it’s going to be fine. I’ll be a complete suck up, she’ll love me.” Josie wasn’t sure about why the nickname slipped out, but for some reason it sounded right.

Penelope nodded.

“Yeah, I know, you have a way with people. I’m not really sure why I’m nervous. Oh, though you should be aware, Jed’s going to be there, we’re watching him tonight, his parents are out of town and they don’t trust him not to do something stupid while their gone.” 

Josie laughed.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t trust him either.”

Penelope laughed, but it wasn’t her normal laugh. Her mind was clearly elsewhere. Josie just waited for her to come back to reality.

When she did, she turned to Josie with a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Pen?” 

Josie blushed.

“It slipped out.” 

“It’s cute.”

“Shut up and drive Park.”

“Oh, it’s Park now?”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

+++

Penelope’s mother was a nice lady, who smiled a lot, and obviously cared about Penelope. She had hugged Josie when she’d met her, before scanning her up and down.

“So, you’re Penelope’s girl, huh?” 

Josie had to admit that hearing herself being called Penelope’s girl made her heartbeat even faster than it already was.

“Yep, that’s me,” she replied with her brightest smile. She’d been getting authority figures to like her for years; she knew exactly what to do.

Jed had greeted her with a fist bump, as she passed where he was sprawled across a couch. 

“Ay, Josie, how’s it going? How’s life, how’s living, how’s everything?” He laughed, clearly thinking that he’d said something funny.

“Good. It’s good.” Josie hadn’t been quite sure how to continue the conversation with him, especially considering that he was probably high.

Penelope had saved her by slapping Jed’s arm.

“Hey, no deep questions. And you aren’t as funny as you think you are.” 

Jed scowled up at her.

“That’s rude. When did you get snappy?” 

Penelope rolled her eyes.

“We’ve got dinner soon, come on, Mum’ll want us to set the table. And please try to at least pretend like you aren’t high.”

He had groaned and then pulled himself up, before the two had left the room. 

Josie was unsure what to do, but then a dog padded into the room. Josie remembered Penelope telling her about her pets, but she could not for the life of her remember the name of her dog.

“Hey buddy, how are you?” she asked, dropping down and holding out her hand. The dog immediately cuddled up to her, demanding attention, which Josie was only too happy to give. 

When Penelope re-entered the room, Josie had the dog in her lap as she scratched its stomach.

“I see you’ve met Ellie.” 

Josie smiled up at her.

“She’s friendly.” 

Penelope smiled down at the two of them.

“Yeah, she is.” Penelope dropped down to scratch behind Ellie’s ears.

“Hey girl, looks like you made a new friend. This is Josie,” Penelope introduced them. 

Josie had to stop herself from laughing at Penelope’s antics.

Jed wandered into the room.

“Hey, Mum wants you in for dinner. Stop playing with the dog.” 

Penelope sighed and shook her head at Ellie.

“Sorry girl, we’ve got to go, but Josie will give you more pats later, okay?” 

Ellie hoped off Josie’s lap, wagged it’s tail affectionately, and then ran away.

Josie stood up.

“So that’s your dog, but where’s the cat and rabbit?”

“Peter, my cat, doesn’t like guests, he’ll be under my bed. And we keep Felix in his cage most of the time, or he’ll eat everything in sight.” Penelope reached out and took Josie’s hand.

“Come on, let’s go get ready for dinner.”

+++

During the dinner itself, Penelope’s mother had showered Josie with questions. Not wanting to be impolite, and wanting to make a good impression, Josie had answered all of them.

“Do you have any pets?”

“No, but I want a dog when I’m older.”

“What are some of your interests?”

“I like music, I want to write and perform songs when I’m older.” 

“Penelope tells me you have two siblings, what are they like?”

“My younger brother, Pedro is very annoying but adorable, and Lizzie’s my twin, so she’s sort of always by my side.”

Penelope’s mother smiled.

“Your mother must be so tired, having to take care of three kids. I’m worked up enough with just Penelope, and Jed I suppose, considering that he’s always over here.”

Josie knew that it didn’t mean anything but hearing the casual mention of her mother made her stomach drop.

Penelope frowned at looked up at her mother.

“Mum, I told you, Josie’s mother passed away when she was little.” Penelope met Josie’s eyes, and Josie gave her a quick thankful smile.

Penelope’s mother gasped, putting her hand over her heart.

“I am so sorry Josie, I forgot. I hope I haven’t upset you.”

Josie just gave her a quick smile.

“It’s okay, it was a while ago,” Josie paused, and then decided that she wanted to continue the conversation, “I know we were all definitely a handful, but I think she did a really good job dealing with us.” 

Penelope’s mother smiled and nodded.

“She did, and I’m sure she would be very happy to see what a wonderful young lady you are today.”

Josie felt herself tearing up a little. She always liked to think that her mother was smiling down at her, that she was proud of her. 

And maybe hearing people say things like that made her emotional.

Penelope must have seen her, because she immediately changed the subject.

“So, Mum, how was work today, any pre-schoolers bite you?” 

+++

After dinner, Josie found herself helping Penelope clean up. Jed had excused himself immediately after they finished eating, and Penelope’s mother had gone out to go buy some more milk.

Which left Josie alone with Penelope, cleaning dishes and thinking over the events of the night. 

Penelope broke the silence first.

“So, that wasn’t a complete train wreck, right?”

Josie laughed.

“It definitely could have been worse.” 

Penelope smiled.

“Yeah, Jed could have started mumbling about wolves again.”

Josie gave Penelope a quizzical look. Penelope waved her hand absently.

“High Jed has a weird obsession with wolves. Don’t question it.” 

Josie just laughed, Penelope quickly joining her. 

Josie looked up, meeting Penelope’s eyes, and not for the first time that night, wished that she could kiss her.

These stupid feelings were going to be the death of her, she swore. 

Not that she had feelings. 

She did not. 

Their moment was broken when Penelope cleared her throat and looked down.

“Although, I am sorry about her mentioning your mum, I told her not to do that.” 

Josie shrugged.

“It’s okay, it was kind of nice talking about her. But, it’s not your fault that she brought it up, and thank you for all your help with the awkward moments. I wouldn’t have survived that dinner without you.”

Penelope grinned and bumped her with her shoulder.

“Anything for you Jojo.”

Josie let the silence fall back into place for a moment, before asking a question that she’d been considering for a little while.

“Does it ever feel weird without your dad here?”

Penelope paused mid putting away the last plate.

Josie immediately apologised.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that, I know it’s sort of a personal question.”

Penelope shook her head, looking up at Josie with a smile.

“It’s fine Josie, you just caught me off-guard.” Penelope put the plate away and hopped up onto the kitchen counter. Josie wanted to make a remark about how Penelope was finally at her height but decided against it.

No, this was a serious moment, and Josie would not ruin that with jokes. She knew how hard it was for Penelope to open up and she didn’t want to accidentally push her walls back up.

Penelope sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

“It’s been two years since he left, and it still doesn’t feel real. Like I’m going to get home and he’ll be there. Even though he was always distant, and sometimes I felt like he didn’t even care about me, he was there. And now he’s gone, he chose to leave, and it’s like my brain hasn’t fully registered it yet. And I’ll be walking down the corridor, and I’ll see that he isn’t in any pictures, and it’ll feel like everything just stops.”

Penelope turned away from Josie, swallowing. Josie reached out and took Penelope’s hand, running her thumb across the back of it as if she’d done it a million times. 

Penelope turned back and gave Josie a thankful smile.

“I don’t even know how I feel about it when my brain realises that he’s gone. Sometimes I just want him back, want him to tell me off for cutting my hair without telling him, or for wearing a genuine cape to school, and then sometimes I just hate him so much, and I’m glad that he’s gone.”

Josie shook her head.

“You don’t.”

“I don’t what?”

“Hate him. You don’t hate him, otherwise it wouldn’t be so hard for you to accept that he’s gone. It’s just easier to hate him, because if you accepted that you still cared, it would break you all over again.”

Penelope laughed in surprise.

“Very wise Jojo. Probably should’ve expected that you’d say something like that though, considering you are a songwriter.”

Josie blushed. 

Penelope grinned at her, but it slowly faded away. She didn’t speak for a little while, and when she did, it was in one of the smallest voice Josie had ever heard her use.

“And you’re right. I don’t hate him. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, at least he’s still,” Penelope paused and winced.

“Alive?” Josie finished for her, tilting her head. Penelope nodded, still grimacing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Josie shrugged.

“It’s okay. I know.” 

Penelope nodded, but didn’t meet Josie’s eyes.

Josie took a deep breath and spoke.

“I sort of have moments like that with my mum, but the opposite. Like, instead of thinking that she never left, I think that she never existed.”

Penelope looked up, frowning. Josie tried to ignore the fact that Penelope had started stroking Josie’s hand with her thumb now and continued with her confession.

“Like, I’ll be doing my homework, or the dishes, and I’ll be thinking about my family, and I just forget that there was ever a time when she was there. And even if it’s for the tiniest moment, I will still spend the entire afternoon feeling guilty. Like I’m a horrible person for forgetting about her, because she’s my mum, and I’m supposed to always remember her.” Josie swallowed the lump in her throat and forced back tears.

Penelope squeezed Josie’s hand.

“Hey, it’s okay. You aren’t a bad person, it’s okay. You were just a kid when she died, it’s completely understandable that you forget sometimes, because you’ve probably lived more of your life without her than you have with her.” Penelope winced.

“Sorry, that sounds wrong. The point I’m trying to make is that you’re human, and it’s okay, I understand.” 

Josie smiled.

“Thanks, that means a lot. I feel like you should know that you’re the only person I’ve ever said that out loud to. Ever, and that includes myself.” 

Penelope grinned at Josie.

“Well then I am honoured that you trust me with such valuable information. I swear that I shall never tell another living soul.”

Josie laughed.

“You’re a dork.”

“Maybe I am, just don’t tell Jed. He still thinks I’m a cool kid.”

“I can guarantee you that Jed does not think that you are a cool kid.”

The two of them laughed, feeling perfectly comfortable with each other. Josie looked at Penelope’s face and felt warmth spreading through her body as she saw how happy and free Penelope looked while laughing. The way her nose scrunched up and how beautiful she sounded made Josie feel like her heart was expanding.

When Penelope’s laughter died down, Josie looked at her, smiling softly.

“I do, you know.”

“You do what?”

“Trust you.”

Penelope looked at Josie, and Josie couldn’t help but notice that she looked surprised.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Penelope covered her surprise by grinning and saying.

“Well, I probably should have guessed that, considering all the times you’ve told me.” 

Josie just smiled.

+++

Penelope's mum pulled her aside for a moment before they left.

"Penny, can you just give us a second? I want to speak to your lovely girlfriend alone."

Penelope had nodded and gone to start the car up.

Josie turned to Penelope's mum, feeling slgihtly nervous. 

What if Penelope's mum hated her, and told her to break up with Penelope? What then, because she couldn't exactly do that considering they weren't in a real relationship. And she couldn't exactly tell Penelope's mother that, so she would just have to live with the knowledge that Penelope's mum hated her and-

"Josie, sweetie, calm down, I'm not going to yell at you or anything."

Josie let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh. Good. That's good."

Penelope's mum laughed.

"You're sweet. I was pulling you aside because I wanted to thank you for being there for my girl. You're good for her."

Josie was taken aback.

"I am?" She asked before she could stop herself.

Penelope's mum nodded.

"Yes, you are. She mentions you all the time, and it's clear that she really cares about you. And for what it's worth, I like you much more than I ever liked that Dana girl." 

Josie laughed. 

Penelope's mum shook her head.

"Honestly, my girl can do so much better than her, and I'm glad that she chose someone like you."

Josie wasn't sure what she was expecting next, but it definitely was not for Penelope's mum to draw her into a hug.

"You take care of her, okay?"

Josie didn't know how to react, so she just nodded.

"I will."

Penelope's mum pulled back and smiled at her.

"Okay, off you go. Don't want to make your father mad at me."

Josie smiled and started walking towards the car.

Right before she reached it though, she turned back around and said

"It was nice meeting you."

Penelope's mum nodded and Josie climbed into the car.

Penelope turned to look at her with a grin.

"What was that about?"

Josie just smiled.

"I think your mum likes me."

+++

Penelope dropped Josie off at her house not long after.

“All right, once again, thanks for doing that. I know my mum can be a bit enthusiastic, but honestly, you did really well. I think she might be in love with you, just a little bit.”

Josie smiled.

Penelope continued.

“Seriously, is this payback for making your family love me?”

“Yes, one hundred percent.”

“Okay Jojo, that’s fair. Just don’t charm her too much, or she’ll want to adopt you.”

“Well, tell her that I think she’s a very nice lady, but that she already has an amazing daughter.”

Penelope smirked.

“No need to flatter me Jojo, I’m already dating you.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Alright, I’d better get going, my dad will be waiting for me, and if we stay in this car any longer, he’ll start thinking that we’re making out.” Josie tried to ignore the fact that she really did not want to leave the car, and that she wanted to stay in there with Penelope forever.

“And what a shame it is that we aren’t.” 

Josie choked on the air, feeling her cheeks heat up.

Okay, her brain really needed to stop coming up with images of her making out with Penelope in the car, it was really not needed.

She felt herself tense up, and she actively pulled away from Penelope, who was resting her hand right next to Josie’s.

Her heart was beating at a hundred miles a minute and she could feel her mouth drying up.

Shit. 

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

Now was really not a good time to go into feelings panic mode.

Penelope swallowed and pulled her hand away from Josie, looked away.

“Relax Jojo, I remember your rules. No making out, we aren’t real, I know,” she said, trying to sound light-hearted, and failing.

Josie just nodded, looking everywhere but Penelope. If she had looked at Penelope, she would have seen her biting her lip, with a look of disappointment in her eyes. 

But Josie was far too preoccupied with all the thoughts that she’d been pushing away for the past month, which had suddenly decided that now would be a good time to come to the front of her mind. 

And honestly, now these thoughts were here, she wondered how she’d ever missed them.

“Okay, I’m going to go now,” Josie announced, opening the door, desperate to get out of the car before she had a full-on freak out. 

“Bye Jojo, thanks again.”

Josie turned to look at Penelope, wondering why she looked so much like a sad puppy dog.

“No problem Pen.” Josie turned away and walked up to her door, taking notice of the fact that Penelope didn’t leave until she was inside the house.

Her dad gave her a quick interrogation when she walked in, and Josie breezed through all the questions, just wanting to get to her room so she could have a moment to think. 

When he finally let her go, she sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and then ran into her room and nearly slammed the door shut before collapsing on her bed, face down.

This was a problem.

Every single moment she’d shared with Penelope was suddenly flashing before her eyes.

The kiss on the track, their conversation at the diner, their second kiss in front of the school, Penelope driving her and Pedro home, the party, the conversation at the diner, Penelope joking around with Josie and Hope, Penelope falling asleep on her in Chemistry, them trying to study together, the movie night, their text conversations, Penelope’s cute Instagram posts, and every moment in between.

Every smile, every touch, every time Josie had pretended that she wasn’t feeling butterflies in her stomach. 

All of it.

And Josie could only come to one conclusion.

She had feelings for Penelope Park.

Actual, genuine, butterfly inducing, feelings for Penelope Park.

And Josie had no idea what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Josie has finally come to terms with the fact that she likes Penelope. Good for her.  
> Get ready for Josie handling this information in the worst possible way!  
> Don't worry, they'll get together, they just need to get through all the fun stuff I have planned first!  
> I'll see you later, and hopefully I'm quicker with the next chapter!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, last chapter was full of Posie being soft and happy. Now, it's time for that to stop, it's time for the angst to begin.  
> I don't really have much else to say here.  
> Enjoy!

After her revelation the night of the dinner with Penelope’s family, Josie had gone into full crushing mode. It was like every single feeling she’d ever had for Penelope had increased by tenfold.

Honestly, she wanted to reread her letter that she’d written when she was 13, because there was no way Josie’s feelings back then were anywhere near where they were now.

Another month had passed without any unfortunate incidents, for which Josie was thankful, if a little surprised about.

How she’d managed to stop herself declaring her undying love to Penelope Park in the middle of an English lesson was beyond her. Especially if Penelope was going to keep being such an adorable nerd. 

Seriously though, why did Penelope know so many romantic lines from Shakespeare?

And did she really have to say them all to Josie while holding her hand and staring into her eyes?

Josie had managed to get through two weeks before she cracked and told Hope. 

They’d been hanging out on the rooftop one afternoon, and Josie had just broken. She’d told Hope everything, and Hope had just nodded and said,

“Good job, you finally figured it out.”

Josie had slapped Hope over the back of the head.

After that afternoon, Josie had become subject to endless teasing about her feelings. Josie dealt with it, just as long as Hope promised that she would not do anything to allude to Penelope that Josie liked her.

Because here’s the thing.

No matter how intense these feelings became, Penelope could not know. 

Josie and Penelope were fake dating. Emphasis on the fake. No matter how many soft little moments they shared, this relationship was not real. 

Penelope did not like Josie. Penelope was only pretending to like Josie because of the plan and Josie could not misinterpret that. 

If Penelope found out, it would be catastrophic. Penelope would obviously reject Josie, and then either treat Josie with pity and immediately break their friendship off, or she would get mad at her.

A voice that sounded a lot like Lizzie told her that the second option was more likely. That Penelope would laugh at her, make fun of Josie for falling for Penelope, would treat her like shit when she found out.

Josie could see it now. A cruel smile forming on Penelope’s face, her eyes turning harsh and cold, a laugh echoing from her mouth that would tear Josie’s heart into pieces.

Penelope was known as the school's resident heart-breaker for a reason. Josie didn't want to be another of those girls who confessed their feelings and then got torn to pieces.

Josie knew in her heart that Penelope would never, that the Penelope she’d come to know would try to let her down slowly, but she still felt those fears circling around. 

Why did she have to mess everything up?

So, she tried to make things easier for herself, and to just start the process of pulling away.

She cut their text conversations down, trying her best not to encourage Penelope’s relentless flirting.

She tried to minimise their physical contact, which was hard, considering that Penelope was a very physically affectionate person, but in the end, Penelope seemed to get the hint.

When Josie got Penelope’s daily notes, she didn’t hesitate before shoving them in her pocket, trying to make a point of not reading them. Because she hadn’t. 

She hadn’t read a single note, even though she kept nearly every one.

Somehow, they’d found their way into her hatbox, even though she’d sworn she was meaning to throw them out.

Penelope seemed to have picked up on the signals that Josie was sending her way, judging by the concerned looks she kept sending her, and the way she had stopped holding Josie’s hand at random times.

They didn’t talk about it, Josie really didn’t want to have to explain her thought process, and she didn’t want to end this prematurely.

She just wanted to make sure that when her heart got broken, it didn’t hurt that bad.

+++

Josie was with Hope hiding under the bleachers when the end seemed to begin.

Hope had brought Subway’s into the school, and because they were ‘contraband items', they needed to hide from where anyone could see them.

Josie thought that Hope was just being dramatic, but she indulged her friend’s antics.

Besides, she should probably start spending time away from Penelope’s lunch table.

“So, what the deal with you and Penelope?” 

Josie frowned at Hope.

“What?”

Hope rolled her eyes.

“I know that you like her, but the way you’ve been acting around each other recently is weird. Did you guys have a fight or something?”

Josie sighed.

“No, we didn’t have a fight, it’s more like I’m preparing for one.”

Hope tilted her head to the side, obviously confused.

“That makes no sense. Shouldn’t you be trying to make this fake relationship a real one instead?”

Josie sighed.

“It’s complicated.”

Hope seemed to get the memo that Josie didn’t want to talk about it, and she turned back to her Subway.

Then she looked up, seemingly struck with a thought.

“Hey Jo, can I talk to you about something?”

Josie nodded. Hope bit her lip, not meeting Josie’s eyes.

Josie wondered what was making her best friend so nervous.

“Well, okay, it’s-”

Hope cut off suddenly as voices came closer.

Josie looked to where they were coming from and her heart sunk.

Not only were these people on top of them, having a conversation, but the people in question were Penelope and Dana.

Lovely. 

“Dana, you aren’t making any sense,” Penelope argued.

“Neither are you!”

Josie heard Penelope sigh.

“What’s this really about?”

“It’s about how you’re acting like I mean nothing to you. Like you weren’t in love with me. Like you aren't still in love with me.”

Josie turned to Hope, trying to ignore the pit in her stomach that was growing with every word spoken.

“We should go, this sounds personal,” she whispered. Hope shook her head.

“No way.”

Josie opened her mouth to argue more, but Penelope spoke again.

“I have a girlfriend, and you have Connor now, so I really don’t see the big deal.”

Josie hated how the first thing her mind noticed was that Penelope didn’t deny Dana’s claim that Penelope was still in love with her.

“Connor is fun, but he’s not the person that I want.”

“Well, that’s a bit of a turnaround from your opinion when you practically cheated on me with him.”

“You need to get over that. Besides, I didn’t cheat on you.”

“Sure.”

Dana sighed loudly.

“What’s even the point of arguing about this, we both know by the ski trip we’ll be back together, so let’s just skip the middle bit.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“If that’s the only thing keeping you from me then you really need to rethink your life decisions. Connor can be easily pushed aside. If all you want is for me to be single, then I’ll dump him, and you can take me on the ski trip.”

“Who says I want to take you on the ski trip?”

Dana scoffed.

“Oh yeah, like you’re going to take Josie Saltzman on that trip.”

Penelope didn’t say anything. 

“You can’t be serious! It’s Josie, she isn’t going to sleep with you.” 

Josie knew that she should be focusing on other parts of the conversation, but hearing someone talking about her and Penelope sleeping together made her cheeks flush and her palms feel slightly sweatier.

“That isn’t any of your business.”

Josie heard Dana stand.

“Okay. Fine. Take Josie on the ski trip. See if she’ll sleep with you. We both know that whatever happens, you’ll be broken up by the end of it.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because if she doesn’t sleep with you on the ski trip, you’ll finally get bored of her 'good girl playing hard to get' act and you’ll drop her. And if you do sleep with her,” Dana laughed, “well, we both know that once you finally get what you want, there won’t be anything keeping you with her. So, when you realize that she isn’t good enough for you, come back to me.”

Josie didn’t even hear Dana or Penelope leave. She just suddenly became aware that Hope was shaking her, and that her face was damp.

Stupid tears.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Josie laughed bitterly.

“I’m fine, I just heard my fake girlfriend who I actually have a crush on talking to her ex, the ex who she’s trying to get back with. Of course, I’m fine.” Josie paused for a moment to catch her breath and wipe away the tears that had decided to gather in her eyes, before continuing.

“And I just heard her ex, a person who probably knows her very well, saying that the only reason she would even want me in the first place is just so she could sleep with me. And it’s totally not like I have insecurities about that or anything. Totally not like I think that the only reason she'd ever want me is for that. Totally not like I’m scared that Penelope Park is going to break my heart.”

Josie shook her head, trying to will away her tears. Hope reached her arms around Josie and hugged her.

“I’ve got you Jo, it’s okay, let it out.” 

Josie buried her face in Hope’s shoulder and cried. She felt bad for probably covering Hope’s shirt in tears and snot, but she was glad that Hope was there for her.

Because in that moment, Josie felt like she wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. 

+++

For the rest of the day, Josie completely ignored Penelope. She didn’t know if she could look her in the face without crying or screaming. 

When she had finally arrived home and crashed on her bed, she started crying again.

Everything hurt. 

For what was probably the millionth time, Josie wished that she didn’t have feelings for Penelope.

That would make everything so much easier. Then, she could just end their fake relationship, Penelope could get back with Dana, and Josie would exit the whole experience with an unbroken heart.

But no. Josie had to go and get a crush on Penelope Park. Because apparently, she was the stupidest person in the world. 

Her phone buzzed and she looked down at it to see who it was.

**Penelope😊: hey jojo, you want to meet up at the diner, I’m bored**

Great.

Obviously, Josie wanted to go. She wanted to sit in that diner with Penelope and talk about anything and everything and she wanted to just be in her presence.

But she couldn’t go. That would be extremely counterproductive, and Josie couldn’t let herself fall into the trap of thinking that everything was okay.

Especially not with Dana’s words still echoing in her head. 

**Josie: Sorry, I’ve got homework to do.**

Then she muted Penelope’s contact and put her phone away. No distractions. 

Josie sighed and pulled out her Trig homework. 

This sucked.

+++

Everything got worse the next day.

Josie ignored Penelope in the morning, going so far as to sit next to Lizzie in Chemistry instead of with Penelope. 

When it got to recess, she was making her way through the corridors, trying to get to her and Hope’s hiding spot without running into Penelope.

Unfortunately, this meant running into someone else.

“Rafael! I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” 

He gave her an awkward smile.

“That’s okay, it looks like you have a lot on your mind.”

Josie laughed.

“You have no idea.” 

He paused, tilting his head as if thinking about something. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Josie felt like her brain had done a record scratch. Rafael wanted to talk to her? The last time they’d talked had ended in them yelling at each other. Ever since then their only interaction had been awkward eye contact across the cafeteria or the Chemistry room.

“What?” 

He shrugged.

“If you want to talk about it to someone, I’ve been told I’m a good listener,” he said, offering her a smile.

Okay, what was happening? He wanted to talk to her, and he was smiling at her, and he was repeating her words back to her.

Because Josie remembered how one afternoon the two of them had been lying on the football field, back before he and Lizzie had started dating, just talking about life. 

She remembered turning to him and telling him that he was probably the best listener she’d ever met in the world.

She remembered writing about it in the letter.

So, yeah, she really had no idea what was happening.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

He shrugged again.

“I guess I got bored of being mad at you for stupid shit. And I know everything’s been messy between us, but you were a good friend to me Josie. I guess I just want to see if we can get that back. I don’t want to lose you over some petty conflict.”

Josie had definitely not been expecting this turn of events when she came to school today. Not that she was complaining of course, because she’d sort of been hoping that her and Rafael could go back to normal one day. 

She could definitely use another person in her corner.

“Okay.”

He grinned.

“Really?”

It was her turn to shrug.

“I’ve missed this too. Just try to avoid insulting Penelope, please. And bringing up the letter is also a no go.” 

He hesitated and she wondered if he was going to throw everything he’d just said away.

But then he grinned again.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

She smiled and nudged him with her shoulder.

“Good to have you back.”

When he nudged her back, Josie couldn’t help but notice once more that this action would have once set her on fire, but in this moment, all she felt was joy that she’d get her friend back.

It was sort of funny how time changed things.

The two of them walked outside, just talking calmly about school and all the assignments they had to work on. 

He said something funny and then they both started laughing so hard that they could barely breathe. Just as she was recovering, she heard a voice call her name.

“Josie!” 

She turned around to see who it was. When she saw their face, she swallowed nervously.

It was Penelope and she did not look happy. In fact, it looked like she was three seconds away from snapping Rafael’s neck. 

Rafael turned to her.

“Do you want me to wait?” 

Josie shook her head.

“I think it’s best if you don’t. I’ll see you later.” Then she walked away from him over to Penelope.

When she reached her, Penelope took her arm immediately. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes were still trained on Rafael’s retreating figure. If Josie didn’t know better, she’d say that Penelope was jealous.

But of course, Josie knew better.

“What are you doing? I thought you two hated each other?”

Josie shrugged.

“He apologised and he said he wants to try being friends again.”

Penelope sighed, still looking unhappy.

“Why are you so bothered by this?” Josie asked, folding her arms, if only to get Penelope's hand off her arm.

Penelope looked away from her as she spoke, folding her arms to match Josie's stance.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be so close with him. I mean, what do you think people are gonna say when they hear that you and him are getting all cozy again?”

Oh, so Penelope was thinking about the plan again. She was just thinking about her reputation. Of course, because she could never focus on something other than how other people perceived her.

“What do you think people are going to say when they hear that you and Dana were talking on the bleachers and you were basically begging to get back together with her?” Josie bit back.

Penelope frowned at her.

“What?”

Josie stepped forwards.

“You heard me.”

“Are you spying on me now?”

“No, I overheard your conversation because you weren’t exactly subtle.”

Penelope sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Look, Dana and I are complicated. You know that. She’s got Connor and I’m not a cheater.”

Josie tried to ignore the implication once more that the only reason Penelope wasn’t with Dana was because of Connor and went on the defensive.

“Yeah. And Rafael and I are complicated too, so I don’t see the big deal.”

Penelope sighed again. Josie bit her lip. Well, if they were already fighting, then she guessed it was time to start their end.

“Look, Penelope, we need to be serious right now. Neither one of us thought this relationship was going to go on this long, and I think it’s time we end it. Dana is ready to get back with you, she literally said she would dump Connor for you, and both Raf and my sister are talking to me. It’s worked, so it’s time to stop.” 

Josie felt like she was crushing her own heart with every word she said. There were so many other things she wanted to say. She just couldn’t say them, not unless she wanted Penelope to crush her heart for her.

Penelope shook her head.

“No.” 

Josie was surprised. She’d just given Penelope an easy out, and she didn’t want to take it?

“Why not?”

“The ski trip is coming up and you promised that we’d go on that, it’s in the contract.”

“Only if we’re still together.”

“We are still together! The only reason why you’re trying to pull out now is because you’re scared.”

Damn Penelope Park and her stupid mind reading abilities. Seriously, she had to have some sort of magic in her somewhere, Josie was positive.

Still, she couldn’t let Penelope know that she was right. 

“Why would I be scared?”

Penelope paused, for the first time turning to look Josie in the eye.

“You tell me Jojo.” 

Josie didn’t know how to react. The bell for the end of recess rang. Penelope didn’t move.

Josie needed to end this conversation. She needed a way to get Penelope off her back without sounding like she was scared.

Then she had an idea. It might not work, but Josie was pretty sure that she could figure out a way to make it.

“I’ll go on the ski trip if Hope goes.”

Then she pushed past Penelope, trying to ignore the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to sum up, Josie and Penelope are both idiots and they need to sit down and talk about their feelings. Are they going to do that? No, of course not, because, as I said above, they are both idiots.  
> I hope that you all enjoyed the chapter, even if Posie aren't happy right now, and I will see y'all soon!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie gets help from Hope and Lizzie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a chapter that will hopefully make things a little bit better than where last chapter ended up!  
> Enjoy!

It had been a few days since her and Penelope’s fight and Josie was relaxing on her couch, watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and eating chips when the door to her house was flung open unceremoniously and Hope marched in.

“Hello Josie, it is I, the love of your life.” 

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Hi Hope.”

Hope threw herself on the couch.

“Okay, so we need to talk.”

Josie frowned.

“What? Why?” 

Hope rose an eyebrow.

“You know why.”

Josie wracked her brain for all the things she had done in the past week that could negatively affect Hope in some way and came up blank. 

“I don’t.”

Hope rolled her eyes.

“Okay, let me job your memory. Penelope.”

Josie felt like slapping herself as she remembered.

Oh. Right. 

The whole 'I'll only go if Hope goes thing'.

She tried to be nonchalant.

“Well, it’s really no big deal. Just say you aren’t coming.”

Hope frowned.

“Okay, no. You’re going to need to back it up, and explain to me your thought process here because I am very confused. Start at the start. Why is she texting me and why exactly is Penelope wanting to take you on this trip a bad thing?”

Josie began her explanation of the fight her and Penelope had had. She explained how Penelope had seen her with Rafael, and how Penelope had been all defensive, and how finally Josie had told her that she’d only come on the ski trip in Hope went as well.

Hope frowned.

“So, you said that, because you don’t want me to go?” 

Josie nodded.

“You never go to these types of things, ever. So, I figured that was an easy way to avoid it.”

Hope was about to answer when Lizzie walked in.

“Jo, have you seen my cute blue dress, you know, the one I wore for my sixteenth?”

Lizzie’s eyes fell on Hope, and Josie saw her try and fail to hide her smile.

“Ah, Hope, you’re here. Haven’t seen you in ages.”

Hope rolled her eyes, but Josie could see her smile.

“Lizzie I literally was texting you fifteen minutes ago.”

“Does texting really count as seeing?”

“Well still, the last time you saw me was literally an hour ago.”

Lizzie walked over to the couch and leaned over the back of it. Josie was struck with a sudden sense of déjà vu. 

“And I can’t miss my good friend?”

Hope turned around to face Lizzie.

“I think you can survive for at least an hour without seeing me.”

Lizzie pouted and sighed dramatically and Hope laughed at her.

 

Lizzie waved her hand in the air.

“Honestly, if you weren’t going on the ski trip, I think I might die from lack of contact.”

Josie frowned at Hope, and Hope avoided eye contact.

“Hope never goes to those things so, good luck trying to get her to come,” Josie said, laughing with confusion.

Lizzie turned to Josie.

“But Hope’s coming, she texted me last night.” 

Josie glared at Hope, who still didn’t look at her.

Okay, what was happening?

“Hope.”

Hope slowly turned to look at Josie with a guilty look on her face.

“What is she talking about?”

“Well, don’t be mad, but I may have promised Lizzie that I’m coming on the ski trip already.”

Josie felt her jaw drop. 

“Hope!”

Hope threw her hands up, making an apologetic noise.

“Look, I’m sorry, and I really don’t have an excuse but I didn’t think that there would be a problem with it!”

Josie stared at Hope. Honestly, sometimes Josie really didn’t understand her best friend’s thought process.

“Why on earth would you think that?”

Lizzie finally stepped into the conversation.

“Okay, what is going on here? Why is Josie mad?”

Josie saw Hope open her mouth and quickly replied to stop Hope from muddling the story in an attempt to look better.

“I told Penelope I’m only going on the ski trip if Hope comes, because Hope never comes on the ski trip, so I thought it would be an easy out!”

Lizzie frowned.

“Wait, why don’t you want to go on the ski trip? Don’t you want to spend time with Penelope?” 

Josie sighed.

“It’s complicated.”

Lizzie walked around the couch and threw herself down next to Josie.

“Okay, explain.”

Josie waited to see if Lizzie was kidding, but when her sister nudged her, she tried to figure out how to explain the situation without exposing herself.

To Josie’s credit, she was able to come up with a semi believable abridged version that didn’t give away the truth.

“So, you overheard Penelope talking to Dana, and you’re jealous and you think Penelope just wants to get in your pants and then dump you, so you aren’t going on the ski trip?”

Josie nodded.

“Yes, so you can see why I’m annoyed at Hope.”

Hope held up a finger.

“In my defence, I thought you wanted to go and that you were just being nervous.”

“Hope!” 

Hope frowned but said nothing.

Josie turned back to Lizzie.

“So, can you please help me figure out how to say no to Penelope about going on the ski trip, seeing as Hope over here is going to be no help?”

Lizzie looked thoughtful. Josie wondered why she didn’t look more outraged, why she wasn’t muttering curses about Penelope being the actual devil under her breath.

Then she turned to Josie.

“I think you should go."

“What?”

Lizzie nodded slowly and turned to look at Josie.

“Josie, do you like Penelope?”

Josie frowned.

“What does that have to do with-”

“Just answer the question.”

Josie shifted uncomfortably. Obviously, she liked Penelope. That was the whole problem, that she liked Penelope and was scared of how badly Penelope would break her heart.

She considered lying for a moment, but decided against it. From Lizzie’s point of view, it wouldn’t exactly be a surprise.

“Well, yeah.”

Lizzie didn’t even make a face as she nodded.

“Okay, and you want to keep her as your girlfriend?”

Josie sighed.

“That’s the complicated bit.”

“Why?”

“What if she breaks my heart? What if she’s leading me on?”

“Then I’ll break her knees, but I don’t think she is.”

Josie titled her head to the side. What the hell was Lizzie talking about?

“What do you mean?”

Lizzie sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Okay, first of all, if anyone ever asks, I never said this, but Penelope Park isn’t actually the worst person to exist, I think she genuinely cares about you, and I think she’s good for you.”

Josie wondered if she was dreaming, or if perhaps she had somehow sustained a concussion. Did Lizzie just say that she thought Penelope was good for Josie?

Josie turned to look at Hope, and she looked exactly like Josie felt.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes again.

“Josie, I see the way she looks at you. It’s actually vomit inducing. She cares about you, and I feel like you should have figured that out considering the fact that you’ve been dating for like three months.”

Josie shook her head.

“What do you mean, you think she’s good for me?”

Lizzie sighed, and looked around her as if to see if there were spies hiding in their house, and then leaned closer to Josie.

“Look, when you first got together, I thought she was doing it to get back at me, and I thought she would shatter your heart in a millisecond. But, as time went on, I saw the way you acted around her. Jo, I’ve never seen you look so free, it’s like she opens up a whole new side of you. You’ve left the house more times these past two months than you have in all your teen years. It's like she encourages you to be you, if that makes any sense. The point is that you really care about her, and she cares about you. And honestly, I like her a lot better when she’s with you. We’ve actually had multiple interactions that didn’t end us fighting. I think you’re good for each other.”

Josie paused for a moment to digest all that information. 

What if Lizzie was right? What if Penelope actually cared, and it wasn’t just a show? Josie had to admit; Lizzie was right about Penelope treating Lizzie better. And Josie had really felt like she was getting a chance to finally express herself, and to be her own person. These past few months had really been about the best she’d ever had.

But what if Lizzie was wrong? What if she was misinterpreting it, what if everything she saw was just Penelope’s acting? What if Josie took a risk, and she lost everything, and the best months she’d ever had became nothing more than memories?

Josie wasn’t sure what was the right move, or what was the strategic move, but she knew what move her heart wanted to make. 

She had to go on the trip. 

Lizzie placed a hand on Josie’s knee.

“So, I’m going to ask you again. Do you want to keep her as your girlfriend?”

Josie swallowed, and then slowly nodded. Lizzie grinned, squeezing her knee.

“Okay, then here’s what you need to do. You need to go on this ski trip with her, you need to tell her everything you feel about her, and be happy.”

Josie nodded, but then felt her insecurities rise up.

“Okay, but what if she just wants to sleep with me and then dump me?”

Lizzie shrugged.

“Don’t sleep with her, it’s that simple. Just because everyone says that’s what the ski trip is for, doesn’t mean you have to. And if she gets pissed at you for not sleeping with her, then she’s a bitch for not respecting your opinion, and you’re free to slap her in the face.” Lizzie smiled brightly at Josie and then added with a grimace.

“Besides, as much as I am sort of at peace with you dating Penelope, I am not yet okay with the idea of you two having sex.”

Josie blushed and nodded. 

“But you have to go if you want to keep her, because if you don’t go, Penelope will think that you want to break up, and the chance that Dana will swoop in and steal her is too high. You and Penelope together are good because you balance each other out. You make her less of a bitch, and she makes you more confident. Her and Dana on the other hand, they just make each other worse. If I have to see Dana and Penelope shoving their tongues down each other’s throats again, I might actually go insane.”

Josie frowned just thinking about it. 

Okay, yeah, she was definitely jealous of Penelope and Dana, and seeing them together again would be like having her heart stepped on every day.

Lizzie wrapped her arm around Josie’s shoulder.

“Besides, if after all this, she breaks your heart, I swear that I will make her life a living hell and break at least one bone in her body, maybe five.” 

Josie smiled.

“Okay, I’ll go.”

Lizzie beamed at her and bumped her shoulder. 

“Alright, I’m going out with the girls tonight, so that’s all the sister wisdom I can give you. This conversation never happened, so don't tell anyone that I said any of that. As thanks for my advice, can you tell me where my cute blue dress is, and let me borrow your hoop earrings. ”

+++

When Lizzie had left, Hope turned to Josie.

“I really am sorry for agreeing to the trip, it was a dumb idea, I should have talked to you first.”

Josie shook her head.

“It’s fine, but yeah, please talk to me first.” 

Hope smiled and squeezed Josie’s hand.

“Are you sure you want to go? I’m sure we can convince Lizzie together if you really don’t want to.”

Josie sighed.

“No, I’m going. Lizzie’s right. I need to take this step. If Penelope hates me after it, well at least I tried. And the whole point of this fake relationship, besides the whole avoid Rafael, make Dana jealous bit, was to get me to be confident and to do things for me. And if she doesn’t like me back, and if she just wants to get back with Dana or to break up with me, then I guess I just have to deal with it.”

Hope smiled at Josie.

“Have I ever told you that I’m proud of you?”

Josie gave her a confused smile.

“What?”

“I’m serious. You’ve come a long way from the scared girl who could barely speak a full sentence to me. You’ve really become your own person.”

Josie smiled.

“Thanks Hope.”

Hope squeezed her hand again.

“Love you Jo.”

“Love you too Hope.”

Josie pulled out her phone and opened their group chat.

**Josie: Hope has an announcement**

**Wonder Woman: Josie I am literally sitting next to you; you could have just told me to text first**

**Josie: Hope I am trying my best**

**Penelope😊: okay what is the announcement**

**Wonder Woman: I am officially coming on the ski trip**

Penelope didn’t answer for a moment and Josie felt herself get worried. 

Shit. What if Penelope had given up on Josie coming already, and she had gotten back with Dana, or had plans to?

What if Josie was too late?

Hope seemed to notice Josie’s anxiety and smiled.

“Don’t worry Jo, she’s going to text back.”

Josie nodded and took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

Her phone buzzed.

**Penelope😊: nice**

**Penelope😊: so jojo does that mean you’re coming as well?**

**Josie: yes**

**Penelope😊: nice x2**

**Penelope😊: this is going to be awesome, just you guys wait**

Josie smiled at her phone and then looked up, blushing when Hope nudged her.

“Wow, you are smitten, four texts make you go crazy. And they aren’t even cute texts, it’s just Penelope being a dork.”

Josie rolled her eyes and then saw that Penelope had texted her privately.

**Penelope😊: Hey, I know that Hope said she’s coming, and you said that you’re coming, but if you really don’t want to and if you felt pressured into it, you don’t have to go. I’m sorry for making such a big deal out of it.**

Josie felt Hope leaning over her shoulder and pushed her away.

“If she moved it, she obviously doesn’t want you to see.”

Hope gasped, making a mock offended face.

“I can’t believe you would betray me like this.”

Josie laughed.

“You’re an idiot Hope.”

She turned back to her phone and texted Penelope back. She didn’t want to be too bantery with Penelope, as she was still being cautious, but she didn’t want to make Penelope think that she hated her, so she settled on deflecting. 

**Josie: wow I think that’s the most grammar I’ve ever seen you use**

**Penelope😊: well I felt like I should be serious for this conversation**

**Josie: probably the best idea you’ve had all week**

**Penelope😊: you wound me**

**Penelope😊: so, uh, do you hate me**

**Josie: I don’t hate you**

**Josie: and after a lot of thinking, I did decide that I want to go on the ski trip, and it was my decision in the end**

After a little consideration, Josie decided to send Penelope a message that wasn’t as cold as the others. 

**Josie: but thank you for checking**

**Penelope😊: well I want to make sure that you’re happy**

Josie thought she might melt on the spot. Why was Penelope so charming that even when Josie was meant to be mad at her, she was able to make Josie’s heart beat ten times faster and her cheeks heat up? 

She tried to regulate her expression but it didn’t work. Hope laughed at her.

**Josie: thanks**

**Penelope😊: I’ll see you tomorrow?**

**Josie: yes, and I’ll actually sit with you guys again**

**Penelope😊: aww did you miss me**

**Josie: no, I miss Landon, he’s the superior member of your group**

**Penelope😊: okay im offended and I’m telling jed**

**Josie: you’re an idiot and don’t do that I don’t want to start a war**

**Penelope😊: 😊**

**Josie: Okay, I have to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.**

**Penelope😊: okay bye jojo**

Josie put away her phone and turned to Hope.

“What did I just do?”

Hope grinned at her.

“You stepped into the light."

Josie rolled her eyes, but found that she couldn’t quite disagree with that statement.

Whatever happened next, at least Josie had been the one to put it in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic we love and respect supportive female relationships!  
> I absolutely love the friendship between the girls in the show, so obviously I needed to have a chapter with a little bit of everything! Even if Hizzie may not be strictly a friendship at this point ;)  
> Next chapter may be a little late, because I'm going on a trip later in the week, but hopefully I can get it uploaded before I leave!  
> Have a nice day!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to find time to write, so here is the next chapter! It's a bit of a filler, but we still get some quality interactions.  
> Enjoy!

The days leading up to the ski trip passed quicker than Josie would have liked. Before she knew it, it was the night before and her and Lizzie were packing.

Lizzie had insisted that they do it together, as Josie needed an ‘experienced ski trip person’ to help her, and Lizzie needed Josie as impulse control to stop her from packing her entire wardrobe.

It may sound stupid, but they had a system, and it worked.

Josie was trying to hide it, so as to best keep a clear mind for the trip, but she had become more and more anxious as the trip got closer.

As every day passed, she found herself doubting her decisions and wondering if maybe it was a mistake.

Even if she had said that she was confident with her decision to tell Penelope how she felt, she still couldn’t get rid of the little insecurities that attacked her constantly.

Every time Dana looked at Penelope and Penelope looked back, every time Josie felt herself nearly explode because Penelope touched her or said something funny, every time they had one of their ‘too real’ moments, and both of them pulled away, she panicked.

And Penelope hadn’t exactly been acting in the most comforting way. 

Recently, Josie had actually been able to feel Penelope pulling away. She’d seen the way that Penelope seemed to be making a point of not looking at her. She’d noticed how Penelope had started to refrain from physical contact. She’d noticed how the real moments with Penelope became less and less.

She’d seen the nervous glances that Landon and Jed sent each other whenever Penelope pulled away from Josie. 

Josie hated it and she hated knowing that it was definitely how she’d acted that had caused this. 

She wondered if this was how Penelope had felt when Josie had been pulling away the past month. 

Hope tried her best to be reassuring, telling Josie that Penelope was probably just stressed, or that it wasn’t about Josie, but it didn’t really work. 

And so, she was standing above a half full suitcase, stomach churning and mind buzzing as she tried to convince herself not to just hide under her covers until the buses were gone the nest morning.

Lizzie wasn’t really helping. In fact, she was making Josie more nervous.

Last year, Lizzie had been freaking out about how she needed to bring the perfect outfits to ‘make Rafael fall even more in love with her than he already was’. Josie recalled her packing basically her entire collection of lipsticks under the reasoning of ‘I need to have options, Jo, and bringing two or three is not enough.’ 

Funnily enough, Lizzie was acting the same way this year. Last year Josie had put her stress down to her being nervous about impressing Rafael, but considering that she had no one in particular to impress this year, she figured Lizzie was probably just like this about all trips.

“Josie, are you even listening to me?”

Josie looked up, realising suddenly that Lizzie had clearly been trying to get her attention.

“Sorry, I was thinking.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Well, think less, help more. I really need you to tell me what looks cute and what doesn’t.”

Josie sighed and turned to Lizzie.

“Why does it even matter, it’s not like you have anyone to impress this year?”

Lizzie opened her mouth to retort, but then shut it slowly and turned away.

Josie frowned. Okay, what did that mean?

“Sorry, that was harsh, I’m just sort of stressed out by the whole Penelope thing.”

Lizzie sighed.

“It’s okay Jo, I know. But you have nothing to worry about, you just need to talk to your,” Lizzie grimaced, “girlfriend, and everything will be fine.”

Josie rolled her eyes. If Lizzie knew the full situation, she would not be this flippant.

Unfortunately, Josie couldn’t tell her, because she knew that if she told her now, Lizzie would get mad at her for hiding something else.

If all went the way of the best-case scenario, Lizzie would never have to know that they were fake dating, Josie thought. If they got together on the ski trip, they could just pretend like they’d been real the whole time.

Josie pouted to herself as the voice in her head replied with all the reasons as to why that wasn’t going to happen. Specifically, that Penelope and her were not going to get together on the ski trip, because Penelope didn’t like her and would never like her.

Honestly, that little voice was a real jerk.

“Okay, you’re doing it again. Jo, please can you focus?”

Josie sighed and forced a smile. Maybe helping Lizzie with her problems would stop her from stressing out over her own.

“Sure, what do you need?”

+++

When Josie first woke up, it took her a moment to figure out what day it was, and why her alarm was going off so early in the morning.

Then it all hit her and she didn’t even try to supress her groan.

Well, no more putting this off. The ski trip was today and Josie couldn’t avoid it anymore.

Awesome.

She quickly got ready, having to deal with Lizzie telling her to hurry up every five seconds, even though they still had plenty of time left.

Honestly, Josie wondered if maybe there was a reason that Lizzie was so stressed, because seriously, Josie had never seen her as nervous as this without some cause.

But she figured it wasn’t her place to ask, and that if Lizzie wanted to tell, she would.

So, she just focused on herself and making sure that she made it onto that bus.

Their dad dropped them off, saying that he wanted to make sure he got one last moment with his girls before he said goodbye to them for two whole days. 

Lizzie and Josie both rolled their eyes at that. Really, their dad could be so dramatic sometimes. 

He pulled up next to the school and turned to them, leaning over the seat, giving them his best ‘serious dad’ face

“Okay, now I know that you are both responsible girls, and that I can trust you, but I just need to remind you of a few things.”

Lizzie groaned.

“Dad, you really don’t need to do this again, I went through this last year.”

He sighed.

“Just listen, okay?”

Lizzie huffed and collapsed back on the seat, pouting and folding her arms.

Josie wasn’t exactly sure what was happening, but judging by Lizzie’s reaction, she really didn’t want to hear it.

“Okay, so first of all, I understand that both of you are teenagers and that both of you are of legal age. And I know that you Josie, have a girlfriend. So, that means that you specifically need to be aware of the risks that come with sex.”

Josie went bright red and spluttered out a protest.

“Dad no! I don’t-I-I don’t need you to talk to me about this, jeez!” 

Lizzie gave her a look.

“Just wait, it gets worse.”

Their dad at least looked like he was somewhat uncomfortable with the conversation.

Josie wanted to pour bleach in her ears.

“Josie, I know that you are a responsible girl, and that you are well aware of things like STI’s and-”

“Dad can we please not do this? I’m not going to have sex with Penelope.”

Her dad looked at her disbelievingly.

“Josie, I’m not an idiot. I know what teenagers use this trip for.”

Josie wondered if it was possible for her face to get any redder.

Lizzie stepped in.

“What Josie means is, she’ll be safe, she’ll use protection, and she isn’t stupid.” Lizzie gave Josie a pointed look and Josie just nodded.

Their dad seemed to sense that he wasn’t going to get anywhere so he sighed.

“Okay, fine. I trust you girls, and I just want to make sure that you’re okay. Just don’t get into trouble, don’t drink any alcohol, and I want you both to text me tonight and tomorrow night, just so I know that you’re safe.”

Josie and Lizzie nodded quickly. He smiled at them.

“Okay, off you guys go. Have fun.”

They climbed out of the car and pulled their luggage out.

Josie turned to Lizzie.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to get out of a conversation more in my life.”

Lizzie laughed.

“You might not think this, but you’re lucky. He actually gave me a packet of condoms to use.”

Josie gaped at her sister in astonishment.

“He did not.”

“He did.”

“Did you use them?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Of course not, Raf brought his own.” 

Josie remembered how earlier this year Lizzie had barely been able to say Rafael’s name without stuttering, or looking downtrodden. Now, she said it with ease, like their relationship was some far away thing that she didn’t ever think about.

Josie thought it was good to see her sister moving on from him. 

Lizzie tugged at Josie’s arm.

“Come on. We need to get signed onto the bus.”

Josie nodded and they walked over to where the teachers were watching the students who were yet to get on the bus. Once they were signed in, they put their stuff in the bus and looked around for Hope, who was yet to arrive.

Once Lizzie checked her phone for what had to be the fiftieth time in two minutes, Josie rolled her eyes and nudged her sister.

“Calm down, she’ll be here. It’s Hope, she’s not going to back out of something once she’s said she’ll do it.”

Lizzie sighed and pocketed her phone.

“I know.” Lizzie shook her head, a small smile on her face. “You know, it’s really weird seeing how different things are.”

Josie frowned at her sister. Lizzie elaborated.

“Last year I was freaking out because I was planning to sleep with Rafael and I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend for him and I nearly had a panic attack. You and Hope stayed at home and binge watched Stranger Things, and Penelope didn’t pull her tongue out of Dana’s throat once.”

Josie cringed at the image of Penelope and Dana making out. Seriously, could people stop mentioning it?

Lizzie laughed.

“And now look where we are. Rafael isn’t coming on the trip, both you and Hope are coming, I’m friends with Hope, and I’m actually looking forwards to spending time with her, you’re dating Penelope, and Dana just got dumped by that stale pringle that she called a boyfriend.”

Josie’s brain immediately focused on that last point.

“What?”

Lizzie turned to her.

“You’re going to need to be more specific than that Jo.”

“Dana and Connor broke up.”

Lizzie nodded.

“Yeah, I’m not really sure if it was her who got dumped, but at least now she’s sad and alone.”

Lizzie kept talking, probably bashing Dana, and as much as Josie would have loved to talk about how much Dana sucked, all she could focus on was the fact that she felt like someone had poured icy water through all her veins.

Dana was single. 

The words that Dana had said to Penelope on those bleachers suddenly echoed in Josie’s mind.

_If that’s the only thing keeping you from me then you really need to rethink your life decisions._

_If all you want is for me to be single, then I’ll dump him, and you can take me on the ski trip._

The only reason that Penelope wasn’t with Dana was because Dana was with Connor. So, now that Dana was newly single, right before the ski trip, what was stopping Penelope from getting what she wanted?

Josie felt every single hope she’d had about the ski trip slip away from her.

Shit.

It might be too late.

“Jo? Are you okay?”

Josie didn’t look up. She was too busy spiralling.

_She’s got Connor and I’m not a cheater._

All Penelope had to do was fake break up with Josie, and her and Dana would be together. The plan would have worked perfectly.

“Jo, hey talk to me.”

Josie turned to Lizzie and shook her head.

“This was a mistake; I shouldn’t be here.”

Lizzie grabbed Josie as she tried to walk away from the bus.

“No, Jo you are not getting cold feet on me now, come on.”

Lizzie tugged Josie towards the bus. A voice shouted out from behind them.

“Hey, you said you’d wait!”

They turned around to see a frazzled Hope sprinting over to them, still holding her luggage.

“Where have you been?” Lizzie asked. Hope sighed.

“Woke up late, sorry,” Hope explained. Lizzie nodded.

“Go put your stuff away, we’ll wait for you.”

Hope walked away to do as Lizzie had told her.

Josie couldn’t help but notice that Lizzie was gripping her arm as if to stop her from running away. 

She sure felt like running away, like she wanted to just sprint for as long as she could until she couldn’t see the town anymore, until she was lost with no hope of being found. 

Okay, she needed to calm down. It was just a simple trip. She’d be fine.

The three of them boarded the bus. Josie immediately saw Penelope, sitting by herself, leaning her head against the window, seemingly lost in thought.

She looked so pretty that Josie almost forgot all of her worries, almost forgot all the fighting. 

Almost.

Penelope turned her head to see who had just entered the bus and made eye contact with Josie. 

Her mouth quirked upwards in a small smile.

“Hey Jojo,” she said softly, but Josie still heard it, and her heart fluttered. 

It was clear that Penelope wanted Josie to sit next to her, and it would be so easy to do that. To sit next to her and to just be with Penelope.

But Josie panicked. Again. And she grabbed Hope’s arm and pulled her into a seat far at the back of the bus. Far away from Penelope.

Josie noticed three things as she sat down.

Penelope turned around to look at her with a sad look and then dropped back into her seat dejectedly. 

Hope was looking at Josie with a confused and slightly annoyed expression.

And Lizzie was basically glaring at Josie from where she was standing.

“Josie what was that?” 

Josie turned to look at Hope.

“I’m sort of regretting every decision I’ve ever made, so forgive me for panicking slightly.”

Hope frowned and turned to look at Lizzie, who had sat down next to one of her friends. Josie sighed. Of course, Hope wanted to sit next to Lizzie, because clearly Josie wasn’t good enough.

Okay, maybe Josie was being dramatic, but to be fair, she wasn’t in a good mood.

“Calm down, you can talk to your best friend later.” Josie turned her head to face the window. She heard Hope sigh and then was pulled back to face her.

“Josie. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Shut down. Go cold and forget that people care about you. What happened?” 

Josie sighed, fighting the tears that threatened to break through.

"I'm sorry, it's just," she sighed, swallowing before she continued.

“Dana broke up with Connor.” She let Hope figure out what that meant. 

Hope made a noise of understanding.

“Oh. And you’re scared that Penelope’s going to see that as an opportunity to get back with her. You panicked again.”

Josie nodded slowly. 

Hope turned to look at the front of the bus, where Dana had just entered. She walked over to Penelope’s seat and gave her a dazzling smile.

“Is this seat taken?” She asked, loud enough for Josie to hear. 

Josie didn’t hear Penelope’s answer, but she saw Dana’s smile grow and her take a seat. 

Hope’s eyes didn’t leave the back of Penelope’s seat as she spoke her next words.

“If you want Penelope to stay with you, you have to give her a reason. You need to show her that you’re an option.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josie, please, just give her a reason. I know I'm the writer, but come on.  
> So, now we're on the ski trip, and this is where things get really good. Get very hyped for the next chapters, because everything is about to happen! I'm very excited for you guys to see what I have planned.  
> I know I say this a lot, but the fact that this fic has been so well received and enjoyed by so many people just blows me away, so thank you!  
> I'll leave you here, but please tell me what you think, because I love hearing your thoughts on this fic!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've been busy, but now I'm back, and I have to say, I think you guys will like this chapter! Also, oops, it's lowkey the longest chapter I've written for this fic, but it's good quality content, so yeah!  
> Enjoy!

The trip to the ski lodge was long, and Josie was grateful that she’d remembered to bring her headphones, otherwise it would have been so much more unpleasant. One, because she would have thrown up all over Hope and herself, but also because she would have probably been able to hear all of Dana’s flirting with Penelope.

Josie just stared out the window for the whole trip, as Hope slept on her shoulder.

Her mind was taken up by worries that she’d already lost Penelope to Dana.

When they got to the ski lodge and had unpacked, they chose their room assignments. Their supervision wasn’t exactly the strictest, so they got to pick their own rooms. Josie immediately got Lizzie, who, to Josie’s surprise, actually wanted to be with her.

“If I’m with you, I can make sure that you don’t do anything with Penelope," Lizzie explained.

Josie suppressed an eyeroll and noted with interest that Hope and Penelope were talking. It looked like they were going to room together.

Josie wasn’t really sure how she felt about that.

She decided to ignore thinking about it for a moment and pulled her stuff up to her room. 

She just had to get through the rest of the day, the night, and then the next day, the next night, and then she’d be on a bus home. 

Easy, right?

+++

The day, thankfully, went quickly. Josie spent most of it in her room, reading the books she had packed. 

Lizzie had spent all afternoon out, claiming that she needed to spend some quality time with her friends out in the snow, although Josie knew that she was probably just trying to get pictures that she could post on her Instagram.

Hope texted her every now and then, wanting Josie’s opinion on her artwork. She had decided to paint the mountains. Josie of course had loved everything that Hope had done, because Hope was really good at what she did.

Josie tried to casually ask Hope about what Penelope was up to, but she didn’t think it came off as casual.

**Josie: so what’s pen up to**

**Wonder Woman: if it’s so important why don’t you ask her**

**Josie: it’s not important, I’m just asking**

**Wonder Woman: sure**

**Wonder Woman: her and Jed are out doing some dumb cousin bonding thing**

**Wonder Woman: I think that means they’re getting high somewhere**

Josie tried not to be glad that Penelope wasn’t with Dana but it really didn’t work.

Ugh, why had she agreed to this stupid trip?

+++

That night, Lizzie decided that she wanted to go out to the ‘secret’ party that was being held by Kaleb. Which meant, unfortunately, Josie had to go as well. At least she’d managed to convince Hope to come with her, under the conditions that Hope only had to stay a maximum of one hour, so that they could soberly watch everyone being an idiot.

Josie’s first thought upon entering the party was that if the teachers had come with them on the trip, they would be in so much trouble right now. 

From what Lizzie had told her, Josie understood that Kaleb’s cousin worked at the ski lodge, and he’d gotten Kaleb access to one of the entertainment halls. It greatly resembled a school gym, but Kaleb had hooked up speakers and set up drink stations and ping pong tables, so Josie guessed it counted as a party.

Hope scanned the room and grimaced.

“I hate it,” she yelled over the speakers and the general noise of the room. Lizzie laughed and wrapped an arm around Hope’s shoulders.

“You only have to stay here an hour, remember? And don’t worry, it’ll be lots of fun.” 

Josie had expected Lizzie to immediately leave them to find her other friends, but she actually stayed with them for about forty minutes of Hope’s hour. They sat on some of the chairs Kaleb had pulled out and they just sat and talked as much as they could over the speakers.

It was nice, Josie had to admit, even if she found herself scanning the crowd every so often to see if she could find Penelope. 

At least she wasn’t somewhere with Dana, as Josie could see Dana dancing with some of her friends. Josie thought she looked like an idiot, but that may have been the jealousy talking. 

When Lizzie finally left, Hope shuffled her chair over so that she was closer to Josie, and then she leant her head on her shoulder.

“Hey loser.”

Josie laughed.

“Hey other loser.”

Hope grinned and looked up at Josie.

“How dare you call me that? I’ll have you know I’m at a party, something that only the coolest kids go to.”

Josie snorted.

“Hope, I can tell you right now, that this party is not something that only the coolest kids go to.”

“Oh really? Why?”

“Landon and MG are sitting in the corner and Landon literally has his guitar out.”

Hope's head shot off her shoulder as she scanned the crowd. When she saw them, she gaped in amusement.

“Oh wow. They are such dorks.”

Josie nodded.

“I know.”

Hope laughed and took a sip of her water.

Josie turned to look at her best friend, and asked what was probably the dumbest question to ask. 

“Hey, so do you think Lizzie likes someone?”

Hope choked on her drink. When she had recovered, she turned to Josie with a nervous expression.

“What? No, why are you asking me that?” 

Josie frowned, unsure of why Hope looked so worried.

“It’s just she was really worked up about this trip, and it was exactly like last year, when she wanted to impress Rafael. I was just wondering if she’d mentioned anything to you or if you’d seen anything.”

Hope shook her head quickly.

“No, I haven’t, uh,” she cleared her throat, “I haven’t noticed anything.”

Josie squinted at Hope, suspicious of her friend’s behaviour.

“Are you sure?” 

Hope nodded, this time managing not to look frantic.

“Yeah, I’m sure she hasn’t mentioned anything.”

Josie still wasn’t sure if that was the whole truth, but if Hope wasn’t going to tell her, Josie wasn’t going to push.

“Okay.”

Hope kept nodding as she looked at a random point in front of her. 

Josie decided that this meant the conversation was over so she pulled out her phone.

She had been scrolling through Instagram, which was basically just a bunch of photos of her classmates on the bus, for a few minutes before Hope tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hey, Landon just texted me asking if I want to come over and ‘jam’.” Hope laughed, clearly amused by Landon’s choice of words.

“I’m gonna go over there, wanna come with?” 

Josie sighed. This party wasn’t nearly as fun as the last one she’d been to. Although, in hindsight, that was definitely just because Penelope had been paying attention to her and only her for the whole night.

Josie didn’t think she’d see the day when Hope Mikealson wanted to be at a party more than she did, but apparently that day was here.

“I’m actually gonna go back to my room, do some reading.”

Hope nodded.

“Okay, do you want some company?”

Josie shook her head.

“No, I’ll be fine. Go 'jam' with Landon.”

Hope smiled at her before disappearing into the crowd to go find Landon. Josie wondered if something was going on between them. Then she dismissed that thought. If Hope was into someone, she’d definitely have told Josie.

Josie felt much better when she stepped outside of the hall. It was far less loud and crowded, and it didn’t smell like sweat and beer.

Unfortunately, it was really cold. Seriously, this was a ski lodge, shouldn’t the inside bits have more heating than this? Josie shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and set off through the corridors, glad at least she didn’t have to go outside.

She’d barely taken ten steps before she heard a sound. She considered stopping to check what it was, but decided against it. It was probably just some horny teenagers who’d been too impatient to wait until they got their dorm room.

She wrinkled her nose. Gross.

She kept walking and then she heard the sound again. This time she could tell exactly what it was, and more importantly, who it belonged to.

It was Penelope’s laugh.

Great. 

Josie knew that she should just keep walking, but when had she ever listened to logic? 

She walked over to where she heard the sound, and then she saw her.

Penelope, lying on the ground, feet up against the wall, laughing like someone had just told her the funniest joke ever.

Josie did a quick scan up the hallway, and saw that there was no one there.

“Penelope?” She quietly whispered. Penelope’s head rolled over to look at her, and her laugh stopped as she beamed at Josie.

“Jojo! It’s you!” Then she started giggling again.

Great. Penelope was either high or drunk. 

Josie had dealt with a drunk Lizzie before, last year, which had not been a fun experience, as it had ended in their dad yelling at both of them, even though Josie had done nothing wrong.

She imagined that this would be a similar experience.

She hoped at least that Penelope wouldn’t throw up on her.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Penelope took a moment to catch her breath before she answered. 

“Well, I was with Jed, you know, cousin bonding with weed and all that shit, but then, he disappeared! And I didn’t know where he went so, I went looking for him. And then I found a room but it was really loud and there were lots of people, and I didn’t like that so I came out here. And I found this wall. And then you,” Penelope paused to point dramatically at Josie, “found me!”

Josie processed the information. Penelope had been with Jed, and then he’d left, presumably to go to the party, and Penelope didn’t remember doing anything else besides from go to the party and then leave.

Obviously, she was missing some stuff out, probably because she didn’t remember doing it, but for the moment, that wasn’t important.

Penelope chewed her lip.

“I didn’t think I was going to see you. I thought you were mad at me.”

Josie sighed.

“I’m not mad at you. If anything, I’m mad at me. You haven’t really done anything wrong.”

Penelope beamed at her and Josie felt her heart warm.

It had felt like so long since she’d been on the receiving end of that smile.

She stepped forwards, reaching out her hand to Penelope.

“Okay, we need to get you back to your room.”

Penelope pouted.

“But Jojo,” she said, dragging out the nickname, “I like it here. And there's a really cool wall here.”

Josie sighed and crouched down next to Penelope.

“I’m sure your room is also really nice.”

Penelope kept pouting.

“There’s a wall in your room as well.”

Penelope thought about that for a minute before nodding.

“Okay, you can take me to my room.” She grinned at Josie before waggling her finger.

“But no funny business.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“That won’t be a problem.”

Getting Penelope off the floor was fairly easy. The hard bit was getting her to walk. Josie wasn’t sure how much she’d had, but if it made her this childish and unable to walk, it had to be a lot.

Josie wondered what it said about the depth of her feelings for Penelope that she wasn’t annoyed as she should have been, and that she found Penelope’s behaviour sort of adorable.

Seriously, the wide-eyed look, like everything around her was interesting, accompanied by the bright smile, as if everything brought her joy, made Penelope look extremely kissable.

Josie shook the thoughts out of her head. No. She needed to get Penelope to her dorm room, and then she was going to go back to her own room, and she was going to read.

She suddenly realised that she didn’t know what number room Penelope had. 

She looked over at Penelope, who was leaning away from her, as she grabbed at empty air.

Yeah, she wasn’t going to be a great help.

Thankfully, Penelope wasn’t the only person who Josie could ask.

**Josie: Hope, what is your dorm room number**

She put her phone away and waited. Penelope realised that they weren’t moving, and promptly sat down.

Josie sighed, and then after a moment of consideration, sat down next to her.

Penelope was staring at her with her bright green eyes, like Josie held all the answers to every mystery in the world.

Josie looked at Penelope with a small smile.

“What are you thinking about?” She knew that she probably wouldn’t get a straight answer out of Penelope, but it was worth trying to start up a conversation.

Especially since Penelope wouldn’t remember it, or want to talk to Josie in the morning anyway.

Penelope smiled.

“I’m thinking, that you look really pretty right now.” 

Josie blushed. Okay, she hadn’t been expecting that.

Penelope started laughing.

“I’m kidding. You always look pretty.” Then she fell back on the ground, laughing like she’d just made the funniest joke.

Josie had no idea how to interpret that.

She waited until Penelope had calmed down before she asked her next question.

“Are you always like this when you’re high?”

Penelope hummed.

“I don’t know. Jed tells me that I’m way too happy when I’m high. That I talk too much.”

“I don’t think that’s a bad thing. If it helps, you look really cute right now.”

Josie went even redder after those last words escaped her mouth. She did not mean to say that.

Penelope looked up at Josie with wide eyes and a smile.

“You think I’m cute?”

Josie considered getting defensive, but then she remembered that Penelope wouldn’t remember any of this.

“Yeah, I think you’re pretty cute.”

Penelope smiled, up at the ceiling, and then in a comically loud whisper said.

“Josie thinks I’m cute.”

Josie laughed.

“You’re a dork.”

“Ah but I’m your dork remember? You signed up for this, literally.”

Josie snorted and rolled her eyes. 

She’d missed Penelope. 

So much.

She’d forgotten how easy it was to just talk to her about everything, how everything felt lighter when they were together, how Penelope made her smile.

If it wasn’t for all the uncertainty between them, the questions of ‘what are we, really?’ and all of Josie’s insecurities screaming at her that Penelope didn’t feel the same way, these moments would be perfect.

Josie’s phone buzzed.

**Wonder Woman: okay, you’re going to have to tell me why, but because im a good friend, I’ll give you the number. It is 106.**

**Josie: thank you**

**Wonder Woman: so, what is the explanation**

**Josie: I have a very high Penelope with me and I need to take her back to your room**

**Wonder Woman: yeah okay that makes sense**

**Wonder Woman: tell her that Hope thinks that she’s an idiot**

**Josie: will do**

**Josie: okay, im gonna get a move on, she has started poking me to try and get my attention**

Josie put away her phone and turned back to Penelope, who, like Josie had told Hope, was poking Josie’s leg and making little noises of annoyance.

“Josie, hey Josie, Jojo, hey Jojo.”

Josie rolled her eyes again.

“Come on, time to move again. We need to get you to your room.”

Penelope groaned and flopped back on the floor.

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.”

Penelope blew some of her hair out her face.

“Are you this bossy in bed?”

Josie went red.

“Okay, we need to go, come on.”

As Josie pulled Penelope up, she heard her mumble

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Josie didn’t intend to answer her question, so she tugged Penelope along, and changed the topic to the trip. Penelope happily rambled on about her and Jed’s adventures, and how he’d apparently got this new girl that he was seeing that he was definitely going to hook up with on the trip.

Josie wasn’t really listening to much of it, but she sure did like hearing Penelope’s voice.

She was almost disappointed when they found themselves outside of room 106. 

Josie turned to Penelope.

“Do you have your key?”

Penelope frowned for a moment and then pulled it out of her pocket, handing it to Josie with a proud smile.

“There you go!” She exclaimed happily.

Josie was just glad that Penelope hadn’t lost it.

She unlocked the door and led Penelope in. 

Penelope immediately collapsed on the bed and grinned up happily at Josie.

“Bed.”

Josie smiled. 

The two of them looked at each other for a moment too long and Josie cleared her throat.

“I should go. You stay here until Hope comes back, okay?”

Josie turned to leave, but then Penelope spoke again.

“Wait, Jojo!”

Josie turned back around. Penelope had pushed herself off the bed and was looking at Josie with a desperation on her face.

“What?” Josie asked softly.

Penelope shifted on her bed, and then lifted a hand, holding it out towards Josie.

“Stay? Please?”

Josie was torn. She knew that she should just leave, that Penelope would be fine by herself, that Hope would be back soon, that Josie would be better off just going back to her room and pretending like this night never happened.

But at that moment in time, it felt there was no one else in the world, like all that existed was this room, and the only place for Josie to be was by Penelope’s side.

If Josie was honest to herself, there was never a choice.

“Of course.”

She closed the door and then moved to sit on Hope’s bed, but Penelope grabbed her arm. Josie looked at her and Penelope gently pulled her over to sit next to her.

When Josie sat down, she couldn’t help but notice that her face and Penelope’s were barely inches away from each other.

She couldn’t help but notice Penelope’s eyes flickering down to her lips, just for a moment.

She couldn’t ignore the way that they both leaned in, ever so slightly.

But she couldn’t let it happen. Not while Penelope was like this. Not when Josie was still unsure about everything between them. 

As much as she wanted to kiss Penelope again, she knew she couldn’t.

Not tonight.

So, she pulled back, and looked away, speaking, just to change the mood.

“I bet you didn’t expect to be here for the next time with me when you left last year. I mean, this time last year, you didn’t even know my name.” Josie laughed slightly trying to lighten the situation, but Penelope frowned.

“I knew your name.”

Josie smiled, titling her head to the side.

“Well, of course you did, my sister was sort of your worst enemy.”

Penelope shook her head.

“No, I knew your name.” She pointed her finger at Josie’s chest and tapped her lightly.

“I knew Josie Saltzman’s name, but not because I knew that she was Lizzie’s sister.”

It was Josie’s turn to frown.

“I don’t really get what you’re saying.”

Penelope frowned and turned away, looking deep in thought.

When she turned back to Josie, she asked a question that Josie didn’t know the answer to.

“Do you remember my first day at the school?”

Josie shook her head. She knew that Penelope had been new at the start of Grade 5, one year before Hope had come to the school, but she didn’t really remember that day in particular.

Penelope bobbed her head.

“Well, I do. I remember not wanting to change schools, because all of my old friends were at my old school, and I remember clinging to my dad’s legs so tightly that he couldn’t walk.” Penelope stared into the distance, probably thinking about her dad.

She continued.

“I remember walking into my classroom and having to introduce myself to the whole class.” She rose her voice, clearly trying to mimic her 11-year-old self.

“I’m Penelope Park, and I moved here from New Orleans.” She chuckled, and there was a faraway look in her eyes, like she could actually see the scene that she was describing.

“I remember sitting down at a table and there were these two girls sitting there. One had blonde hair, and she was ignoring me, I remember not liking her much, and then there was this girl with brown hair, and she gave me the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen, and she told me her name was Josette Saltzman, but that everyone called her Josie.

“I didn’t really get to talk to her much after that, because I became friends with a bunch of girls who weren’t friends with her, but I always remembered her name.”

Penelope was looking right at Josie now, and Josie felt like she was falling for Penelope again.

“Over the years, I watched as her sister became super popular. Everyone loved her. But I was confused, because if I had to say which Saltzman twin deserved to have the spotlight, I would have said that it was Josie.”

Penelope tapped Josie’s leg.

“I would have said it was you. You know, it annoyed me that everyone forgot about you, that Lizzie forgot about you.” Penelope chuckled sadly.

“Unless of course she was hunting for a new boyfriend, in which case she’d just steal whichever guy you liked. I never liked how she treated you. I thought that you deserved at least some part of what she had, and so maybe I started to hate her for that.”

Penelope picked at a hole in her jeans.

“Every time I saw you, I always tried to say hi or to look at you, just to do something to show that I saw you. I wanted you to know that someone saw you.” Penelope laughed quietly.

“I know it didn’t really work, and I’m sorry for that. I should have done more.”

Penelope stopped talking and the silence became louder than anything Josie had ever heard.

Josie had no idea how to process this new information. 

Penelope had noticed her. Penelope had only hated Lizzie because she didn’t like the way that Lizzie treated Josie. 

Penelope had seen her, even when she had been trying to hide.

She had a sudden realization.

Josie was definitely in love with Penelope.

Oh.

Oh, okay. 

That’s cool.

She’s in love with Penelope Park, the girl who’s known across the school for breaking hearts.

As if she wasn’t in deep enough already.

Penelope seemed to notice that Josie was lost in thought, and so she tapped Josie on the back of her hand.

“Hey, did I lose you?”

Josie looked up at Penelope, and she wondered if Penelope was still high, because she looked so calm and sincere that Josie was unsure.

“No, I’m still here.” Josie took Penelope’s hand and squeezed it.

“Thank you,” Josie whispered, and Penelope smiled at her, squeezing her hand back.

“It’s okay.”

Josie smiled. 

She wanted to live in this moment forever. She didn’t care about anything else. Just that Penelope was here, and Penelope saw her, because right now, that was enough.

Josie wondered for a moment if Penelope was still high, and if she wasn’t, would it be okay if Josie was to kiss her?

The door opened without warning and they both looked up, startled, to see who it was.

Hope poked her head through and gave them a quick smile.

“Hey, I didn’t interrupt anything did I?” 

The moment ended.

Josie shook her head and stood up.

“No, it’s fine, I was just about to leave.” 

When she felt Penelope’s hand pull away, she immediately regretted her actions. She should have just told Hope to leave or something.

But it was too late for that now.

She turned back to Penelope and smiled at her.

“I’ll see you later.”

She left the room, knowing that in the morning there were many questions to be answered, and important choices to make, but for now, she just wanted to hold onto the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, this was a super fun chapter to write, I really loved Penelope and Josie in this chapter, so I hope you guys liked it too! And let me just say, it gets better next chapter! That's all I can say, so, once more, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and get hyped!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but believe me when I say that it's worth it! I'm not going to waste anymore time here, because seriously, you guys are going to like this one!  
> Enjoy!

When Josie woke the next morning, she was half convinced that her encounter with Penelope was a dream. It seemed enough like one. Penelope actually talking to her, Penelope being soft, the two of them nearly kissing; it didn't quite sound right to Josie.

She checked her phone and saw that she had a message from Hope.

**Wonder Woman: so, what happened with you and Penelope last night**

So, not a dream.

Which meant that Josie had nearly kissed Penelope for real. 

After she had come to terms with that, Josie spent the entire day in her room, reading and checking her phone every five minutes to see if Penelope had texted her.

Penelope had not.

Which meant one of two things.

Either Penelope didn’t remember anything from the past night, meaning that she probably wasn’t thinking clearly and didn’t mean anything that she said or did, or she remembered, and regretted everything that she said and she didn’t want to face Josie.

Josie really didn’t like either option, so she really hoped that Penelope would text her something sooner or later.

She didn’t.

Lizzie was out the whole day, because apparently her friends wanted to go skiing, so Josie was all alone. 

Which was super fun.

Until of course, Josie got bored and decided that she needed to hang out with Hope. 

And who knew, maybe she could get some advice about what to do about Penelope, because Josie was still confused.

Which is how Josie ended up sitting on Hope’s bed watching Landon fiddle with his guitar.

Hope and Landon had been hanging out before Josie had texted asking if she could come over, and Josie was actually sort of glad. Landon was really good at making every situation calm and Josie felt her nerves drifting away as they laughed at him trying to sing Taylor Swift songs.

He was a good singer; it was just the way he made his voice far too high pitched and acted out each song.

He finished his rendition of ‘We Are Never Getting Back Together’, and finally he put his guitar to the side. 

“Oh, finally, our ears are being spared,” Hope said with a laugh. 

Landon rolled his eyes.

“You’re just jealous about the fact that you can’t play the piano as well as I play the guitar.” He turned to Josie.

“Back me up Josie.” 

Josie nodded at Hope.

“He’s right.” 

Landon held out his hand for a high five and Josie willingly obliged.

Hope rolled her eyes.

“Music dorks.”

“You literally take music with us," Josie pointed out.

“Yeah but I’m not the one who’s been playing with his guitar for the past half hour, and I’m also not the one who tried to harmonise with him.” She turned to point at Josie, who laughed.

“Okay, fair point.” 

Josie’s phone buzzed and she pulled it out embarrassingly fast to check if it was Penelope. 

It was just a notification that Lizzie had posted another picture on Instagram.

She sighed and put it away.

Hope rolled her eyes.

“Josie, you know that there is such thing as texting first?”

Josie sighed again.

“I know, I just don’t want to seem desperate.”

Hope rolled her eyes again and turned to Landon.

“Tell her that she’s being ridiculous.” 

Landon frowned.

“I have literally no idea what the conversation is about. Who is texting Josie?”

“Penelope.”

Landon looked even more confused.

“She’s your girlfriend, why are you so worried about her not texting you?”

Hope replied before Josie could stop her.

“Fake girlfriend, remember?” Hope paused for a moment, and then her eyes widened in panic as she realised what she'd just said.

Josie rolled her eyes. Hope was really bad at hiding things.

Landon blinked, clearly trying to process the information.

“Sorry, what?”

Josie sighed and looked at Hope pointedly as she explained.

“Well, it’s meant to be a secret, but I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway at this point. Penelope and I aren’t really dating, it’s fake. We started it so I could avoid Rafael and so she could make Dana jealous.”

Landon nodded slowly.

“That sounds like Penelope. She does make a lot of dumb plans. Okay, I think I get it. But why would you be worried about her not texting you?”

Josie sighed.

“Okay, you can’t tell Penelope this, like seriously, you can’t.” 

He nodded.

“I won’t. You’re my friend too.” 

Josie smiled at him thankfully and continued.

“I like Penelope, for real. I sort of accidentally fell in love with her, and now I don’t know what to do.”

Landon frowned.

“Ask her out.”

“But what if she doesn’t like me?”

“She does.”

Josie frowned.

“How do you know; did she tell you?”

He shook his head, laughing a little.

“No, but it’s like, really obvious. She looks at you with so much love that it almost makes me sick.”

Josie sighed and flopped back on the bed.

Hope jumped onto the bed next to Josie and turned to her.

“Josie, we’ve been through this with Lizzie, we’ve been through this so many times. Why are you still so worried about all this?”

Josie sighed. There were so many reasons why she was still worried. She didn’t think Penelope liked her back, because why would Penelope like her back? She was just Josie, and even if they’d had all those moments when it felt like Penelope really saw her, what if she was just another one of the girls who’d fallen for Penelope Park only to get their heart broken?

“Why hasn’t she said anything? She’s Penelope Park, she can have anyone she wants, she’s confident, and charming, and everything. If she likes me, why hasn’t she made the first move?”

Hope and Landon stared at her for a moment before looking at each other as if they were trying to decide who should say something.

Landon spoke first.

“Josie, you know Penelope isn’t actually like that. I know you do, because I’ve seen how she is around you. She isn’t exactly who she wants everyone to think she is. If anything, she’s more scared about you not liking her than you are.”

Josie frowned. She hadn’t really thought about it like that.

Hope continued.

“Josie, just think about everything that’s happened. She’s the one who suggested the fake dating thing, you’re the one who created the no kissing rule, you’re the one who’s been trying to push her away, you’re the one who tried to pull out of this trip, you’re the one who chose not to sit next to her on the bus, and judging from what I saw last night, it was you who panicked and left, and then ignored her for the rest of the day.

“If there’s anyone who should be scared that they fell for someone who doesn’t want them back, I don’t think it’s you.”

Josie felt her mouth hanging open a little bit and she forced it shut.

Woah.

That made everything make a little more sense.

Landon shook his head, laughing softly.

“You really didn’t see it, did you?”

Josie shook her head.

“What do I do?”

Hope poked her.

“That’s what you need to decide. Because I think we all know that Penelope isn’t going to make the first move, no matter how much you want her to.”

Josie stood up.

“I’m going to take a walk. I think I need a moment to process all of this.” She paused and then with confidence that she didn’t know she had said, “And then I’m going to talk to Penelope.”

Landon and Hope nodded.

Hope stood up as well.

“I’m gonna go as well, see if Lizzie wants to hang out.”

She turned to Landon.

“Okay, time to leave, you can’t stay in my room when I’m not here.”

He rolled his eyes, but picked up his guitar and made to leave.

Just before he did, he turned to Josie.

“If things go bad tonight and you want to talk to someone who isn’t your sister, just come to my room, Jed’s out with a girl,” he offered softly. Josie smiled.

“Thanks.”

He nodded and left.

Hope patted Josie on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be fine.”

Josie smiled nervously.

Hope grinned and turned to lock her door.

Just before she left, she told Josie

“Penelope’s in the hot tub, just in case you wanted to know.” And then she was gone.

Okay, time for Josie to process this.

Points in favour of Penelope liking her; Hope, Lizzie, and Landon said she did, she’d always flirted with Josie, she’d been the one to suggest the deal and the one to fight for keeping it, she’d been the one who asked Josie to stay last night, she’d been the one posting about Josie constantly, she’d wanted Josie to sit next to her on the bus, she’d always initiated physical contact, she-

Okay, Penelope definitely liked her.

Josie was an idiot.

How on earth had she missed all of that?

Probably because she was too scared of Penelope realising that Josie liked her and rejecting her.

In hindsight, Josie had really been focused on the wrong thing.

But now, what did she do?

Like Hope had said, Penelope wasn’t going to make the next move. That was clear.

Penelope had been making the first move this whole time, and practically every time, Josie had been the one to shut her down.

Josie had really messed this up.

She couldn’t just go back to her room and wait for Penelope to text.

And she’d said she was going to talk to Penelope, so why not confess her feelings?

Why not go for what she wanted?

Josie laughed quietly to herself.

Hadn’t this been her reasoning for this whole thing? That she wanted to step out of her comfort zone and into the light? 

She’d told herself that she was going to go for what she wanted.

So, maybe it was time to do that.

_Penelope’s in the hot tub, just in case you wanted to know._

Time to make things right.

+++

When Josie walked out into the area with the hot tub, she immediately saw Penelope.

She was the only one out there, and she was sitting in the pool, resting her arms on the edge, listening to some music on her speaker.

Josie smiled because Penelope looked so peaceful, even if Josie could only see the back of her head.

Penelope didn’t notice her until she was standing right next to the hot tub.

“Hey,” Josie said quietly. Penelope bobbed her head, not looking over at Josie.

Josie waited for her to say something, but nothing came, so she spoke again.

“I’m sorry.”

Penelope laughed, and Josie nearly winced at how sad she sounded.

“For what, exactly?”

Josie nodded slowly.

“Okay, I deserved that.”

When Penelope didn’t reply or even move to acknowledge her, Josie moved around to the opposite side of the tub, and dangled her legs in.

“I thought you would be happy that I didn’t sit with you, because it would mean that you got to sit next to who you actually wanted.” Josie wasn’t altogether too sure about why she said that, but it was probably to do with the lingering effects of jealousy still in her and her worry that despite everything her friends had said, Penelope didn’t like her.

Penelope finally looked up at her to scoff and roll her eyes.

“Josie, for someone who gets amazing grades, you are incredibly oblivious.”

Josie frowned and Penelope continued.

“I didn’t want to sit with Dana. I don’t care about Dana, okay? I wanted to sit next to you.” She sighed and looked away.

Josie bit her lip and quietly said

“I’m sorry. For a lot. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for getting mad at you for talking to Dana. I’m sorry for not sitting with you. I’m sorry for leaving so quickly last night and then never texting.”

Penelope turned to look back at her with a sad smile and shrugged.

“It’s fine Jojo. I get it.”

Josie shook her head.

“I don’t think you do. And that’s my fault, again, I’m sorry for giving you the wrong idea.”

Penelope frowned.

"Yeah, it's okay, I know this whole thing is fake, I know you don't want anything more out of this. We can break up, if that's what you want."

Josie laughed quietly, shaking her head.

"But what if that's not what I want?"

Penelope turned to look at her with confusion and frustration in her eyes.

“Josie, can you just please say what it is that you’re thinking, because I really don’t know.”

Josie bit her lip, and then decided to do something that was probably stupid, but at this moment, she didn’t care.

She slid off her jacket, and dropped into the hot tub fully.

Penelope laughed, confused.

“Jojo, you’re wearing a nightgown in a hot tub.”

“Well, I didn’t pack a swim suit, so this will have to do.” 

Penelope smiled at her, and for the first time, Josie saw her eyes.

Penelope was looking at her the way Josie had always wanted. Penelope was looking at her like the only person that mattered in the world was Josie.

Josie swam over closer, until Penelope breathed in slowly, eyes flickering up to meet Josie’s.

“Penelope Park. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I’m sorry that I pushed you away, because I was scared, because I had just realised how I feel about you. I’m sorry for getting mad when you talked to Dana and not sitting next to you on the bus, because I thought you were going to choose her, and I was scared of that. I’m sorry that I’ve been hiding my feelings from you this whole time.”

Penelope moved closer, and it was Josie’s turn to catch her breath, because Penelope was in a bathing suit and her hands were on Josie’s elbows, and if Josie moved a little closer, she’d be sitting in Penelope’s lap, and their faces were so very close.

Josie kept going.

"I don't want to break up with you. I need you to know that these feelings I have for you are real."

Penelope leaned in, just a fraction more, and Josie thought she might explode.

“And what exactly are the feelings that you’ve been hiding from me?”

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

Josie saw Penelope smile and then suddenly Penelope was pulling her forwards and their lips met.

The moment they did, Josie forgot why she’d been so worried about everything, when she could have been doing this.

Josie remembered why she’d added the no kissing rule, something along the lines of Penelope being a wildfire and Josie not wanting to be burned.

Right in this moment, Josie wanted nothing more than for Penelope’s fire to consume her entirely, until there was nothing left.

It somehow managed to feel like coming home and like she was flying so high that she would never come back down.

Out of the three kisses she’d shared with Penelope, this was definitely her favourite. 

There were no excuses. Josie wasn’t kissing Penelope because she wanted to ignore Rafael, Penelope wasn’t kissing her to convince everyone they were dating. 

In that moment, all they wanted was each other.

When they pulled away from each other for air, Josie realised the position they were in.

Josie legs had somehow found their way around Penelope’s hips, and she was basically straddling her. Penelope’s hands were wrapped around Josie’s elbows, and Josie’s arms were draped around Penelope’s neck.

Okay, yep, this definitely counted as paradise.

Penelope moved one of her hands to brush Josie’s hair out of her face.

“Hey,” she said with a grin.

“Hey,” Josie replied, somewhat more breathlessly that Penelope.

Penelope grinned at her and leaned back in.

Josie pulled back, and Penelope frowned slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

Josie wanted to just lean back in and forget everything, but she needed to ask.

“This is real, right? This isn’t nothing to you, right?”

The frown disappeared from Penelope’s face to be replaced by a grin.

“All I want is you Jojo.”

Josie smiled and leaned back in, letting herself get consumed once more.

+++

After what felt like an eternity, Josie and Penelope were walking along the corridors of the lodge, arm in arm, both smiling happily.

Penelope spun Josie around to face her.

“Do you want to come back to my room?” She asked softly. 

Josie knew that it was probably innocent, that Penelope probably just wanted to spend time with her, to just talk with her, but her stomach backflipped anyways. 

As much as she wanted Penelope, she was definitely not ready for, well, having sex with her. Not yet. Especially with her insecurities still hanging at the edges of her mind.

Penelope seemed to notice her hesitance, and she slowly stoked her thumb across the back of Josie’s hand.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to.” 

Josie nodded.

“Okay, I’m just going to go back to my room. Hope said she was going to be hanging out with Lizzie and I’m sure they’ll both want to hear everything.”

Penelope laughed.

“Hope will definitely want to hear everything. I know I’m definitely going to be telling her everything when she comes back to my room, even if she’s already heard it.”

Josie smiled. Hope would definitely be in for a lot of listening.

Penelope smiled at her and touched their foreheads together.

“Goodnight Jojo.”

Penelope kissed her and Josie smiled into the kiss. Yep, she could get used to this.

Penelope squeezed her hand and walked away. Josie watched her until she was out of sight.

Josie checked the time and was surprised to see it was almost an hour and a half since she’d left Hope’s room.

As Josie walked back to her room, she thought of all the things that she could say to Hope. She could gush about how Penelope had kissed her and how happy she was.

Of course, she wouldn’t be able to say everything she wanted to, because of Lizzie. 

Josie definitely still intended on Lizzie never finding out about any of this. Even if that meant having to constantly monitor Hope, so that she didn’t spill any secrets.

She opened the door, thoughts of everything that she could say at the front of her mind.

However, as soon as she saw into the room, all those thoughts faded away.

What was inside was a sight she never thought she'd see.

Hope and Lizzie were both in the room.

Hope was on top of Lizzie.

And they were both making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY FINALLY KISSED FOR REAL!!!!! AND HIZZIE KISSED AS WELL!!!  
> This chapter was such a blast to write and I really hope that the first real Posie kiss lives up to your expectations!  
> I will let you know now though, that next chapter will be switching POV again. That's right, it's time for another Hizzie chapter, and trust me when I say that it's going to be good.  
> I also want to thank you guys, because this fic hit 1000 kudos and honestly, that's pretty awesome!  
> So, I really hope you liked this chapter and please feel free to scream at me in the comments about your emotions!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, my life is just a little hectic at the moment, but I have returned with the Hizzie chapter, so once more, the wait has been worth it! It's time to find out what Hope and Lizzie were getting up to when Josie was with Penelope.  
> Enjoy!

Hope wasn’t too worried about Josie. She would be fine. All she had to do was show Penelope that she liked her and the two of them would finally be able to get over the annoying pining stage they were in.

Seriously, at first it was cute but after the millionth time they stared at each other longingly, but didn't notice the other doing the same, it got annoying.

So, what if Hope had had to aggressively push them towards each other for them to get to this point?

Hope would like to say Josie was the easier of the two, because at least Josie talked about liking Penelope, but with all the ‘but what if she doesn’t like me’ Hope wasn’t sure.

Penelope wasn’t much better though. Hope had had to basically force her to even admit that she had feelings for Josie. And even now, she barely talked to Hope about it. 

Honestly, communication was going to be the death of these two.

But that wasn’t Hope’s problem. Not anymore.

Right now, she had bigger things to focus on. 

Specifically, Lizzie Saltzman, Hope's feelings about Lizzie Saltzman, and how exactly Hope was going to confess said feelings.

Ever since the night that they’d found out about the real reason that they hated each other, they’d been getting closer. To be perfectly honest, Hope had been thrilled. She finally got to spend time with the girl she had a crush on, without said girl insulting her.

It had been awesome. Conversation with Lizzie was so easy and she actually wanted to talk to Hope about Hope’s interests and even when they weren’t talking, time spent in each other’s company was so nice.

It was completely different from her relationship with Josie, even if Hope couldn’t exactly explain how. 

Well, it probably had something to do with the fact that Hope didn’t spend half her time with Josie thinking about kissing her.

With Lizzie, Hope may get easily distracted by how pretty she was. Because wow, Lizzie was really pretty.

Lizzie had brought up the ski trip just a little bit after Penelope had asked her to come for the first time. Lizzie had asked Hope if she was coming, because she ‘really wanted spend time with her’. 

So, obviously Hope had made the decision to go on the trip. 

Penelope had been surprised when Hope had finally said yes, but once she realised that Hope was going for Lizzie, she had understood.

After all, Penelope was sort of going for the exact same reason.

Josie had been harder to convince than Hope had expected. Hope had thought that she would just have to tell her to suck it up and ask Penelope out. 

She should have remembered that Josie second guessed every decision she ever made and that Josie was extremely oblivious about when people liked her.

Or when people liked anyone.

For instance, Hope was 100% sure that Josie had no idea that Hope was madly crushing on Lizzie.

To be fair to Josie, Hope had sort of been hiding her feelings.

Her reasoning for this was that Josie might not exactly take it well. It was no secret that Josie had problems with knowing whether people actually liked her for her. Almost everyone in her life directed all their energy towards Lizzie instead of her. 

Josie had said it herself, anytime Josie had ever been close to anyone, they’d left her for Lizzie.

If Hope revealed that she liked Lizzie, Josie would get scared again. Hope didn’t want that. 

Josie was her best friend, and no amount of feelings for Lizzie was going to change that. 

Josie just needed to remember that.

And yes, maybe Hope should just rip the Band-Aid and tell her, but Josie had her own love life problems right now, she didn’t need to deal with Hope as well.

But, enough thinking about Josie, Hope needed to focus on the other Saltzman twin.

Hope looked down at her phone.

**Hope: Hey Liz, can we hang out?**

Lizzie had not yet responded. So, Hope was left standing awkwardly in the foyer. She could go back to her room, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to go to Lizzie's room, and she wanted to confess her feelings, and then hopefully make out with Lizzie. 

She had thought it through perfectly. Her and Lizzie had been really flirtatious recently, and Hope was almost positive that Lizzie liked her back. 

And if she was wrong and Lizzie didn’t, well, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. 

So, while Josie was occupied with Penelope, she could take her chance with Lizzie.

But if Lizzie didn’t reply soon, they couldn’t exactly do too much. 

Her phone buzzed.

**Liz <3: Yeah sure, come meet me in my room, it’ll be just the two of us, Jo’s out somewhere**

Hope smiled with relief and quickly made her way to Lizzie’s room, trying her best not to focus on the fact that Lizzie had emphasised the fact that Josie wouldn’t be there.

When she got to Lizzie’s room, she found the other girl sprawled on her bed wearing nothing but a fluffy jumper over her nightgown.

Hope swallowed and smiled at Lizzie, hoping desperately that she wasn’t as red as she thought she was.

“Hi,” she said, trying not to sound breathless. Judging by Lizzie’s raised eyebrow and the small smirk on her face, it didn’t work.

“Hey, Hope, it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

Hope laughed and sat down on Lizzie’s bed.

“Well, that’s not exactly my fault. You’ve been the one off having all that fun in the snow, remember?”

Lizzie laughed.

“I did invite you. You’re the one who said that it was ‘too cold to be outside’.”

Hope blushed. Okay, maybe Lizzie had a point. As much as she wanted to spend time with Lizzie, it really was way too cold.

Lizzie sighed dramatically. 

“It’s a ski lodge Hope, you knew it was going to be cold when you came.”

“I didn’t want to come remember? You’re the one who bullied me into coming.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“You could have said no.”

Hope looked down. How exactly did she say that she couldn’t have said no, because she didn’t think she was able to say no to Lizzie, without sounding like an idiot?

“I think we should stop focusing on who did what, and on the fact that we are finally in the same room, and that we get to spend time with each other,” Hope said, placing a hand on Lizzie's knee, enjoying the way that Lizzie's eyes flicked down, and how her cheeks flushed.

Sometimes when her and Lizzie were alone, Hope would make a little game out of seeing how many times she could get Lizzie to blush. It was always very entertaining seeing Lizzie try to hide her blush.

Lizzie sighed, looking away. 

“Fine. But don’t think I’m just ignoring the fact that you are totally avoiding the question.”

Hope moved her hand off Lizzie's knee and grinned at her.

Lizzie sat up straighter, and put her phone to the side.

“So, where have you been? Don’t tell me you were just moping in your room because you missed me.”

Hope laughed.

“You wish. No, I was with Landon and Josie.”

Lizzie hummed.

“Landon. You seem to be hanging out with him a lot. Is there something between you and him?” Hope could tell that Lizzie was trying to be casual about it, but it was very obvious to detect the tone underneath. Hope knew that tone, she’d used it when she was asking Josie about Lizzie and Rafael. 

It was jealousy.

“No, Landon and I are just friends.”

Lizzie sighed in relief. 

“Good.”

Hope rose an eyebrow and Lizzie’s eyes widened as she stuttered out an explanation.

“I mean, it’s good that you don’t like him because you could do so much better than that artisanal jar of sentient mayonnaise.”

Hope laughed.

“Creative.”

Lizzie shrugged, failing to hide her bright red cheeks.

“Let’s not talk about him, let’s play Truth or Dare.”

Hope rose an eyebrow.

“What are we, 13 and at a sleepover?”

Lizzie huffed and pouted.

“I’m trying to have fun, stop raining on my parade."

Dammit. Hope was not immune to the infamous Saltzman twin pout. 

“Okay, fine, but only because you made that face. Seriously, you make fun of Josie for having her only defense be her pouty face, but then you do the same thing all the time.”

Lizzie gasped in mock offense.

“I do not! Josie is so much worse than me.”

“Only a little bit.”

Lizzie blushed and Hope felt satisfied. Another point to her.

“Okay, so Truth or Dare?” Lizzie asked, clearly trying to change the subject. Hope decided to let her, and so she answered.

“Truth.”

“Tell me who your first kiss was.”

Hope looked away, going red.

Lizzie never held back with her questions.

Hope swallowed and answered slowly, hoping that Lizzie didn’t kill her.

“Well, it may have been Penelope at a party last year.”

Lizzie’s mouth dropped open.

“You made out with Satan?”

“Made out is a strong word. It was a bad decision, we were both a little drunk, and we both agreed to never mention it again.”

“Does Josie know?”

“Yeah, Penelope told her. Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal your sister’s girlfriend.”

Lizzie nodded slowly, looking at Hope with interest. 

“So, you like girls?”

Hope blushed.

“Last time I checked you only get to ask one question when it’s your turn to ask.” Hope paused for a moment, and then, making extra sure to look Lizzie right in the eye, she continued softly

“But, yeah, I like girls.”

Then she grinned and moved on.

“Okay, so Lizzie, Truth or Dare?”

Lizzie blinked twice, clearly still reeling from Hope’s reveal. 

“Truth.”

Hope sorted through the millions of questions that she wanted to ask Lizzie to find one that wasn’t too forward, but also gave her helpful information for how to make sure that Lizzie liked her.

“Okay, do you like anyone at the moment?”

Lizzie looked away, and Hope noted with interest that she looked slightly nervous.

“Um, yeah, yeah, I like someone right now.”

Hope nodded and waited for Lizzie to ask her the next question.

Lizzie took a moment to reply, but when she did, she looked at Hope with a strange look that she couldn’t quite understand.

“Do you like anyone right now?”

Hope didn’t even hesitate before answering.

“Yes.”

Lizzie looked up at her with interest and excitement in her eyes and Hope had to fight the urge to kiss her. 

No, she had to do this properly. There would be no leaping on Lizzie at the first chance she got.

“My turn. Truth or Dare.”

“Truth,” Lizzie said confidently. 

“Do you like girls?”

Lizzie looked away, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Well, yeah.”

Hope wasn’t exactly surprised, the way Lizzie looked at her and literally any mildly attractive girl was a dead giveaway, but it was still an important moment.

“Does anyone else know?”

Lizzie bit her lip, and then slowly shook her head.

That surprised Hope a little.

“Wait, really? Not even Josie.”

“If Josie knew, you’d know.”

“Wait but seriously, I’m the first person you told?”

Lizzie nodded slowly.

“Well, thank you,” Hope said with a smile.

Lizzie shrugged.

“It’s sort of a new realisation.” She looked up at Hope. “I actually realised it because of this new person I have a crush on.”

Hope really hoped that Lizzie liked her, because at this point, it would almost hurt her physically if she didn’t.

“Well, I’m glad that you were able to find this out about yourself.”

Lizzie nodded and hesitated, clearly trying to make a decision. 

Then she slowly moved closer to Hope.

“Truth or Dare,” Lizzie spoke slowly, emphasising each word.

“Truth.”

“Tell me about the person you have a crush on. Don’t tell me their name, just tell me why you like them.”

Oh, Hope could definitely see where this was going.

She shifted closer to Lizzie, and not breaking eye contact, began to tell Lizzie the truth.

“Well, first of all, they’re beautiful. Seriously, I’ve never met someone who looks like them, their smile and their eyes are just so breathtaking. I also like how funny they are, they make me laugh all the time. I like how comfortable talking to them feels, and I like how I can be myself around them. But I think my favourite thing is how behind all the walls they hide behind, they are an amazing person, and I just wish everyone could see them the way that I do.”

Lizzie’s mouth was hanging open a little, and Hope could see her tearing up, even when she looked away. 

Lizzie cleared her throat.

“Well, they sound amazing.” 

“They are.” Hope paused for a moment, to give Lizzie some processing time, and then she tapped Lizzie’s knee.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Truth.”

“Tell me about the girl you have a crush on. Same deal as mine, don’t tell me her name.”

Lizzie looked up, and smiled nervously at Hope. 

Hope squeezed her knee, making sure not to break eye contact, trying to tell Lizzie that it was okay to speak.

Lizzie took a deep breath, and then began to speak.

“This girl is just so amazing. Honestly, there’s absolutely no one like her at school. I never noticed her until recently, and when I did, I realised that I shouldn’t have wasted so much time not knowing her. She’s smart, and creative, and kind, and she’s always there for me when I need her. I always want to be with her, because when I am, it really feels like she sees me for who I am, and she likes that person.”

Wow. 

Okay, Hope understood why Lizzie started tearing up, because hearing the girl you have a crush on saying all that stuff, while hoping desperately that it’s about you is really an emotional experience.

“Hope?”

Hope swallowed and moved closer to Lizzie again. At the point Hope was nearly sitting in Lizzie’s lap.

“Yeah?”

“Truth or Dare." Lizzie had a nervous intensity in her eyes and Hope sort of loved it. 

“Truth.”

“Tell me who you have a crush on.”

This was it.

This was the moment that Hope had been waiting for.

It was absolutely fucking terrifying. What happened if she was wrong, what happened if Lizzie didn’t like her back, if she’d made everything awkward?

Hope had to take the leap though. 

Because at this point if she didn’t, she’d never forgive herself.

“I have a crush on you.”

Hope waited for Lizzie to move away, to apologise for giving Hope the wrong idea, to laugh awkwardly, or for her to ask Hope if she was joking.

It never came.

Instead, Lizzie leaned in closer, her tongue running over her lips. Their faces were so close. 

“Truth or Dare,” Hope whispered, watching as Lizzie’s eyes flicked down to her lips. 

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me.”

Lizzie moved forwards, and suddenly their lips were together and Hope felt like someone had set off confetti in her chest. Her heart was beating so fast, and she felt like she was flying.

Hope had never really kissed anyone before, seeing as what happened with Penelope was a mistake, but Lizzie knew what she was doing well enough for the both of them.

Lizzie’s hands moved to wrap around Hope’s waist and Hope moved to straddle Lizzie. Lizzie made a little noise when she did so, and Hope felt heat rushing through her body.

She would definitely be okay if she did nothing other than make out with Lizzie for the rest of her life. Forget school, this was the only thing she wanted to be spending her days doing.

Lizzie pulled away, panting for breath. Hope grinned at her.

“So, I’m guessing that means you like me back?”

Lizzie laughed, and Hope noted with pleasure that she sounded breathless.

“Yeah, I do.”

Hope moved her hands into Lizzie’s hair.

“If I’m the girl you like, that means that you literally realised your sexuality because of me,” Hope teased.

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Hope didn’t need any more convincing before she leaned back in. 

Lizzie tasted like strawberries, and Hope couldn’t get enough of it. 

Lizzie’s hands moved so they were just under Hope’s shirt, and her fingers traced patterns along Hope’s waist. 

Hope’s breath hitched, and she felt Lizzie smiling into the kiss. 

Hope retaliated by tugging slightly at Lizzie’s hair and deepening the kiss. 

Lizzie didn’t even try to stifle her moan. Hope was definitely going to use that against her.

Hope was on top of the world. It felt like everything had finally fallen into place.

So, of course, things couldn’t stay that way.

Neither of them heard the door opening in time to jump apart and pretend that they had not been doing what they had just been doing. 

But they both heard the gasp of surprise, and they pulled apart to look to see who it was.

It was Josie, looking like she’d been shot. Her eyes were wide, one hand was still on the doorknob, the other was covering her mouth.

Hope didn’t need to look at Lizzie to know that she was thinking the exact same thing.

Well, shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit indeed. I can't give too much away, but I will say that things might start to go downhill very quickly in the next few chapters. You guys might want to hold onto these past few chapters and the happiness here.   
> Again, apologies for the wait, but life sometimes gets in the way. Thanks to all the lovely commenters and kudos-leavers, it's you guys and your support which keeps me coming back to write and post this fic!  
> I'll see you soon!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, and sorry for the beginning of the angst! I won't say anything more here.  
> Enjoy!

Josie wasn’t really sure how to comprehend the situation she was currently being faced with. 

She hadn’t seen this coming at all.

Josie wondered how stupid that made her, because now it was like all the pieces were falling into place.

Everything made so much more sense.

Hope was the person Lizzie had been trying to impress. That was why she had been so freaked out when she was packing for the trip. 

Of course, Hope and Lizzie had wanted to sit together on the bus, they liked each other.

That was why they’d gotten so close so quickly, why all their interactions, even before they’d been friends had been charged with intensity.

Hope had a crush on Lizzie, and Lizzie liked her back.

And Josie hadn’t known about either.

Hope slid off Lizzie’s lap and jumped off the bed, eyes wide and panicked. Josie noticed how messed up her hair was, and how flushed her cheeks were.

“Josie, let me explain, it’s-”

“It’s not what it looks like?” Josie finished, looking between Hope and Lizzie.

Lizzie was sitting upright now, and she looked just as panicked as Hope.

“Josie listen to her.”

Josie looked at Hope. Then back at Lizzie. She had no idea what to say. It felt like all the words had been sucked out of her brain.

She expected Hope to say something, but she seemed to be struggling just as much as Josie.

So, Josie tried to piece together a sentence.

“You…you’ve been…you’re…how long?”

Hope shook her head frantically.

“Not long. Not long. Josie, listen to me.”

Josie looked at Hope.

“Why? What exactly are you going to tell me? What exactly is there to explain?”

Josie felt a tight bubble of anger rising through her chest up to her throat. 

She felt thirteen again, watching Lizzie smiling at Hope with bright eyes, watching Hope laughing at something Lizzie said.

But this was different. This wasn’t jealousy, or fear.

This was anger. 

This was betrayal.

She felt the bubble rise up, and she felt it pop.

“Are you going to tell me why you didn’t think to mention that you like my sister? Tell me why you didn’t think you could trust me, your best friend with this? Or are you going to tell me why you’ve been actively hiding this from me, because I know you Hope, I knew there was something you weren’t telling me.”

Josie turned to Lizzie.

“Or maybe you want to let Lizzie explain why despite our no secrets rule, our rule that we were going to trust each other now, she didn’t think to tell me that she liked you? Is she going to tell me why she didn’t think she could trust her sister, the person who has literally been there every single time she’s liked one of my friends, or one of the boys I’ve had a crush on? What exactly could either of you say right now?”

Hope and Lizzie stared at her blankly.

Josie could feel her hands shaking, she could feel bile against the back of her throat.

This fucking sucked.

Just a few moments ago, she’d been kissing Penelope Park, feeling like she could fly.

Now, this had happened.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out why neither Hope nor Lizzie had said anything to Josie about their feelings.

They were scared of how she was going to react.

They were scared that she was going to freak out about them and start thinking that they were going to leave her.

And maybe they were just a little bit right. Maybe those insecurities still lingered. Maybe she was a huge hypocrite, and maybe she was wrong here, but it still stung.

It still really fucking hurt to know that they thought of her like that.

It hurt to know that neither her best friend or her twin sister actually trusted her.

Josie felt tears rising to her eyes.

She saw Hope open her mouth and she waved a hand at her.

“No, save it. Forget it, I’m leaving. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”

Josie turned around and wrenched the door open, barely thinking at all.

She just needed to get out, to be somewhere without Hope and Lizzie looking at her with guilty panic in their eyes.

She had barely walked down the hallway when she heard the door open again, and footsteps out into the hall.

She already knew who it was.

“Hope, I’m really not in the fucking mood for this right now.”

She stopped in the middle of the hallway, knowing that otherwise she would have to deal with Hope following her all the way around the lodge. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms in an attempt to stop the tears threatening to build up.

“Josie, please.”

“Hope, what exactly are you trying to say? Because at the moment I haven’t heard anything worth listening to.”

Hope sighed.

“I hoped you wouldn’t act like this.”

Josie laughed angrily.

“Well maybe you should have thought about how I would react if I found out that both of you were hiding things from me.”

“Josie, you aren’t entitled to know everything about my life.”

Josie spun around to face Hope.

“That’s a bullshit excuse Hope. We both know the real reason why you didn’t tell me, so just spit it out.”

Hope ran a hand through her hair, not meeting Josie’s eyes.

“Say it,” Josie challenged.

Hope shook her head.

“Josie you’re being irrational. This isn’t that big of a deal, okay? Yeah, I like Lizzie, yeah, I didn’t tell you, what’s the problem here?”

Josie scoffed.

“Weren’t you listening in there? Or were you too busy paying attention to Lizzie to notice that I was speaking?”

“Josie that’s not fair.”

“I just want you to tell the truth. Tell me why you didn’t tell me about Lizzie.”

Hope sighed with frustration.

“I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you, that day under the bleachers. Obviously, we got interrupted, so I couldn’t, but I-”

“So, you wanted to tell me, but the only time you actually tried to tell me was a week ago? You had plenty of chances. What about last night at the party? Or when we were hanging out with Landon? Or when we were literally sitting next to each other on the bus for four hours? You can say that you wanted to tell me all you like but it doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t.”

Hope sighed and looked at the floor.

Josie waited. 

She just wanted to hear it. 

It wouldn’t make anything better, in fact, it would probably make things worse, but she needed to hear Hope say it.

Hope didn’t look up when she spoke.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to freak out. I didn’t tell you because I know that you get scared when people who are close to you get close to Lizzie. You told me that. I didn’t want you to get worried.”

Josie nodded.

“You didn’t trust me.”

Hope looked up.

“Josie, no, that’s not it.”

“You were scared that I was going to freak out and that I wasn’t going to be okay with the two of you. And fine, maybe it would have rattled me a little. But you promised me that no matter what happens with Lizzie, you’re still my best friend. And I trust you Hope. It would be nice to know that you felt the same way.”

Josie shook her head.

“Just so you know, I’m fine with the two of you. I’m glad that you’re happy. I just wish that you trusted me enough to let me know. I just wish it felt like my best friend actually cared.”

Josie fought back the tears and walked away, feeling her stomach churning. 

She didn’t think she’d ever fought with Hope like this ever. One part of her wanted to turn around and hug Hope, and tell her that it was okay.

But it wasn’t. 

Nothing was okay.

+++

Josie knocked on Landon’s door, hoping desperately that he hadn’t decided to become sexually active like everyone else on this stupid ski trip.

Thankfully, he opened the door fully clothed, and with a distinct lack of sex hair.

“Hey Jo, what’s up?” He asked. 

Josie shrugged.

“You offered for me to come over and talk to you if something went wrong tonight. So, here I am.”

Landon frowned.

“Wait shit, did Penelope reject you? I swear, I will hunt her down and yell at her, that absolute idiot.”

Josie shook her head, smiling a little at the mention of Penelope.

“No, it’s not her. That was one thing that went well.”

He sighed in relief.

“Oh, good. So, did you have sex?”

Josie blushed.

“No, no we didn’t. We kissed but we did not…well, you know.”

Landon nodded.

“Okay,” he frowned. “Wait, if everything went well with Penelope, then why are you here?”

Josie laughed humourlessly.

“Well, funny story, but I may have walked in on Hope and Lizzie making out.”

Landon, to her surprise, fist pumped and grinned.

“Yes Mikealson, I knew that everything was gonna be fine.”

Josie rose an eyebrow. 

When he saw that she wasn’t as thrilled as he was, he frowned.

“Wait, why is that a bad thing?”

Josie stepped back.

“Wait, did you know? Did you know that Hope had a crush on Lizzie?”

“Yes?” Landon asked, obviously confused.

Josie sighed and felt the tears rising again.

Great. So, Hope had told Landon Kirby, a guy she’d been friends with for like two months about her crush on Josie’s sister, but she couldn’t tell Josie.

Wow, this just got worse and worse, didn’t it?

“Hey, are you okay?”

Josie shook her head, laughing again.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just finding out that apparently everyone but me knew that my twin sister and my best friend liked each other.”

Landon’s eyes widened.

“You didn’t know?”

Josie shook her head.

“Nope. Hope and Lizzie thought that I would ‘freak out’ and they decided that I could just find out when they randomly got together. Or maybe, even better, they would let me find out through gossip in the school. That’d been a great way to find out, wouldn’t it?” Josie felt her voice crack on the last word, and suddenly tears were pouring out of her eyes.

She may have said this a million times already, but this fucking sucked.

Josie felt Landon’s arms wrap around her, and she immediately melted into them.

Landon pulled her into the room and shut the door. He led her over to what she assumed was Jed’s bed, and continued to hug her as she sat down.

He was a really good hugger.

She told him so.

He laughed.

“Everyone tells me that. I think Penelope’s told me that like fifty times.”

Josie laughed despite the tears.

He held her until the tears had dried up. When she was finished, he pulled back and rested his head against the bed post.

“Not that I’m not happy that you’re here, but wouldn’t Penelope be better in this situation?”

“She’s in Hope’s room. Besides, I don’t want to bother her.”

Landon nodded.

“I get that, but you know you wouldn’t be bothering her.”

Josie shrugged.

“I like it here. And you’re really good at making a calm atmosphere.”

He smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Any time.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. Josie let herself sift through the situation again.

She was still mad. Yeah, maybe it was a little hypocritical being mad at Lizzie, after all, she was hiding the whole letters thing and the fake dating from her, but Hope she was justifiably mad at.

Hope was her best friend. Josie had trusted her with her crush on Penelope. She’d trusted Hope with so much over the years and usually Hope trusted her back. 

It hurt that this time Hope hadn’t trusted her. 

It made her feel useless, she wanted to be there for her best friend, that was what best friends were for. She wanted to have been there for Hope, to have laughed at her and teased her about it.

Even though she knew it shouldn’t, it made her feel like Hope was pulling away from her. 

She sighed.

“Ugh.”

Landon nodded.

“It’s okay. It’s tough when the people you trust just suddenly shut you out.”

Josie turned to him.

“You speaking from experience?”

He nodded.

“Rafael. Eight grade. We were inseparable, basically brothers. Then he got a crush on your sister. When they got together, he just ditched me. Like I was nothing to him. A real dick move if you ask me. But I got over it, I made new friends. And now I have Penelope, and Jed, and you, and Hope.”

Josie laughed.

“So, the moral of the story is that my sister will steal everyone’s best friend?”

He winced.

“Shit. Right.”

Josie laughed again. He was so awkward.

“That won’t happen with Hope, I promise," he rambled, and Josie nodded, trying to reassure him that he hadn't messed up. 

“I know. I know, because I trust her. I just wish she knew that.”

He nodded.

“Well, this has been real depressing. Want me to put on some music and we can ignore everything?”

She nodded.

“Yes, absolutely.”

+++

As she lay in bed, a few hours later, staring at the dark ceiling, as Landon’s soft snores sounded through the room, she thought about what happened next.

What did she do?

Did she apologise to Hope? Or did she wait for Hope to come to her?

On the one hand, the sooner her best friend was by her side again, the better. And she had been a little overdramatic to Hope.

But on the other hand, she didn’t want to just gloss over it. She couldn’t just act like she hadn’t been hurt.

She wouldn’t.

So, she could give Hope some time. If after a while Hope still didn’t want to talk to her, then maybe Josie would have to make the first move, because as much as she wanted to stand her ground, she could not let this ruin her friendship.

She sighed softly, so as not to disturb Landon, even if he was probably already asleep.

All she wanted was to turn back time to when she was in the hot tub with Penelope.

Josie smiled. She hadn’t really gotten time to think over and obsess about the events in the hot tub.

Penelope Park, the HBIC of the school, her fake girlfriend, had just made out with her, Josie Saltzman, in a hot tub, after Josie had told her that she was falling in love with her.

If you had told Josie at the beginning of the year that she would get into that situation, she would have laughed at you.

Now, the thought of it made Josie smile.

Penelope was such a good kisser. Josie had really been such a fool to implement that no kissing rule, because she had missed out on so much.

She could have been making out with Penelope months ago.

Now that she thought about everything, Josie really was an idiot.

She really needed to work on her ability to tell when someone liked her, because looking back, Penelope had been very obvious.

Josie pulled out her phone, and shielding the screen from Landon so it didn’t wake him up, sent a quick text to Penelope. It may have been 2 in the morning but, she just wanted to say something.

**Josie: I really like you, Penelope Park**

It was simple, and Penelope definitely knew by now, but Josie still smiled as she read over it again.

She put her phone on the bedside table, and was soon able to quickly fall asleep.

+++

The next morning was a rush of packing stuff and trying to get ready for the trip back home. Unfortunately for Josie, all her stuff was still in her and Lizzie’s shared room.

They didn’t say anything to each other. Lizzie barely looked at Josie, and Josie didn’t look at her either.

Even though she had decided last night that Lizzie was probably more in the right than Hope was, she was still annoyed.

Hope didn’t text her at all. 

No apology.

No hate.

Nothing.

Josie sort of felt horrible, but she knew that after the fight they’d had, space might be a good thing.

Penelope didn’t text back either.

Josie really didn’t know how to interpret that, because Penelope always texted her back.

It was like she physically couldn’t leave Josie unanswered.

Josie reasoned with herself that Penelope might not have checked her messages or maybe her phone was just out of battery. 

She couldn’t really get rid of her feeling of unease though.

Josie almost felt a little sad when she got on the bus to go home. This trip had been a whirlwind of events and emotions, even though it had literally been two days long.

Maybe she should attend more school trips.

As she made her way down the bus to where Penelope was sitting, she couldn’t help but notice the way that everyone was looking at her.

She felt like suddenly everyone knew about what had happened last night. Like they knew about her confession in the hot tub, and the subsequent make out session.

Of course, she was probably being paranoid, but still.

When Josie sat down next to Penelope, she noticed the bags under her eyes, and the fact that she looked really tired.

“Hey Pen.”

Penelope gave her a small smile, and Josie noticed again, that it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey Jojo.”

Something was wrong.

“You okay?” She asked. Penelope shrugged, rubbing at her eyes.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She turned to look at Josie.

“Can I use you as a pillow?” 

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

Penelope smiled and tucked her head into the space between Josie’s neck and shoulder.

Josie smiled and rested her head on top of Penelope’s.

Even if something was wrong, it couldn't be that bad, or Penelope would have said something.

No, Josie was just being paranoid. Life was good.

Everything was going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: Everything was not going to be okay. 
> 
> Side note, can you guys tell that I like Landon? Because I really like Landon. And even though I hate the idea of Jandon as a romantic relationship, I think they would be great friends!  
> Sorry for the fact that the gaps between updates are slightly longer, life is annoying, and writing is hard! But you can always trust that sooner or later there will be a new update, so never fear!  
> I'll see you guys soon! (You guys are really not ready for what comes next)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry pt1  
> Enjoy!

When they climbed off the bus, Penelope went to go talk to Jed about how they were getting home. 

Josie went to go get her bags. 

Lizzie came to stand beside her, not saying anything. 

Josie didn't try to start a conversation.

They weren't at that point yet.

Josie pulled out Lizzie’s suitcase and handed it to her.

Lizzie met her eyes.

“Did you see Dad’s text?”

Josie nodded.

“Yeah, I think we should just walk home.”

Lizzie nodded.

“I’ll wait for you.” 

Josie saw the look in Lizzie’s eyes and she understood what Lizzie really meant.

This was a peace offering.

Josie gave Lizzie a half smile.

“Okay.”

Lizzie smiled back and then walked away.

Josie turned back to the bus and continued getting her stuff out.

A voice spoke from besides her.

“Josie.”

Josie turned, confused and worried when she saw Dana standing behind her, with a cold look in her eye and a fake smile on her face.

“Dana?”

“We need to talk.”

Josie stared at Dana, unsure of what was to come next.

Why on earth would Dana want to talk to her?

What could she possibly have to say to Josie?

Maybe it was just some bitchiness, some insults to throw at her, because Josie was with Penelope.

“Dana, I’m not in the mood to be insulted.”

Dana laughed, and Josie felt a chill run through her at how harsh it was.

“Oh no, I’m not here to insult you, even though there are so many things I could say. No, I’m here to talk to you about Penelope.”

Josie frowned.

“Why?”

Dana shrugged, her smile becoming brighter, but not warmer. 

“I just wanted to say that I think you’re an incredibly naïve and idiotic girl.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to insult me.”

Dana ignored her.

“I mean, you really thought that Penelope was going to be loyal to you? You really thought that she wanted you?”

Josie felt her stomach twisting.

“Dana, what are you trying to say?”

Dana stepped forwards.

“Do you know where your girlfriend was last night? Specifically, after she kissed you.”

Josie felt her heart stop, just for a moment.

She could hear the blood rushing in her head.

“What?”

“Do you know?”

Josie shook her head.

“Would you like to know?”

Josie stepped away.

“No.”

Dana ignored her again.

“She came to my room last night. She told me that you didn’t sleep with her. She told me that you confessed your feelings, or some bullshit like that.”

Josie shook her head, refusing to believe what she was hearing.

“She told me that I was right. She told me that she wasn’t going to bother with you anymore, that using you was getting boring.”

“Stop it.”

“She kissed me.”

Josie looked away, feeling like she was unable to breathe.

“Look at you. You really thought that making out with her was something special?”

Josie shook her head.

“I don’t believe you,” she lied. All she could think about was Penelope, and how off she’d been today, how she hadn’t even mentioned Josie’s text,, or anything that had happened last night.

“Then why don’t you go ask her, see what she says.”

Dana gave Josie one last smile, and then turned on her heel.

Josie stared at the floor.

She felt sick.

Penelope wouldn’t, right?

She wouldn’t.

Josie knew that she should trust Penelope, that she wouldn’t have betrayed Josie’s trust like that, but Josie couldn’t fight the feeling that something was wrong.

Dana had to be lying, Penelope had to have gone back to her and Hope’s room last night.

Hope.

Josie knew they were still fighting, and she knew she’d promised herself that she’d give Hope space, but right now, that did not matter in the slightest.

She scanned the crowd of students to see where Hope was.

There, talking to Landon.

Josie moved quickly over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

Hope looked at her with surprise.

“What-”

“Did Penelope sleep in your room last night?”

Hope frowned.

“She wasn’t there when I got back, but when I woke up, she said she’d been with some of the guys.”

Josie nodded quickly, and then turned to scan the crowd for Penelope.

She needed to hear what Penelope said.

She heard Hope ask her something, but didn’t hear the words, because she saw Penelope talking to Jed still.

She made her way through the crowd. Halfway there, Penelope noticed her and walked over.

“Hey Jojo, you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”

Josie didn’t wait before asking her.

“Where did you go last night?”

Penelope’s eyes widened, just for a moment, but to Josie it felt like a confirmation.

“I went back to my room, I was with Hope.”

Josie was pretty sure she was actually going to throw up.

“Liar.”

She couldn’t believe this.

Actually, no. 

She could.

After all, wasn't this what she'd been fearing for the past few weeks?

Penelope frowned.

“Josie, what’s going on? Why are you asking me this?”

Josie stepped closer to her.

“Hope said that you said you were out with some of the guys. So, why are you lying to me?”

Penelope looked away.

“Josie,” she began, but didn’t finish.

“Did you go to Dana’s room last night?”

Penelope looked back at her, and the guilt in her eyes made Josie feel so very small.

It was so very different to the way Penelope had looked at her last night, like she was the only girl in the world.

Now it felt like the world was collapsing beneath her feet.

“Yes, but you need to understand-”

“Did you kiss her?”

Penelope looked away.

Josie laughed, but it sounded more like a sob.

“Wow.”

Penelope looked back at her.

“Josie, please, it’s not what you think.”

“So, you didn’t go to your ex’s room, and you didn’t kiss her?”

Penelope made a noise of frustration.

Josie shook her head and stepped back.

“You know what? Forget it. Forget everything I said last night, everything I did. Everything between us is over.”

Penelope shook her head, a look of desperation in her eyes.

“Josie, just let me explain.”

“So you can use me again? So you can try and get in my pants and then switch back to Dana? I’m not as stupid as you think Penelope.”

“Josie.” 

“So, was that all that this was? All that ‘you’re the only one I want, I don’t care about Dana’ bullshit, was that just to get me to make out with you? Just to get me to fuck you?”

Penelope looked away, her fists clenching at her sides.

Josie took another step away.

“Don’t bother.”

Then she turned and stormed away to where Lizzie was waiting.

She could barely see where she was walking, because everything was so blurred with tears.

She passed Lizzie and kept going. She heard Lizzie shout her name but she didn’t stop.

She wanted to start running, to sprint all the way back to her house, to bury herself in blankets and cry until there was nothing left.

She settled for speed walking away.

Lizzie came up next to her, panting slightly.

“Jo, slow down.”

Josie did not.

“Jo, come on I’m sorry.”

Josie kept walking.

Lizzie was silent for a few more blocks, before she reached out and tugged at Josie’s sleeve.

Josie whipped around. 

“What?” She snapped.

Lizzie folded her arms.

“I’m sorry, okay? You don’t need to be like this.”

Josie laughed bitterly.

“This isn’t about you Lizzie. Not everything is about you,” Josie spat out.

Lizzie frowned.

“Are you crying?”

Josie looked away.

“Come on, we should get back to the house, dad will be expecting us.”

“Jo,” Lizzie whispered, but Josie was already moving.

They didn’t speak again for the rest of the walk.

This gave Josie plenty of time to think about what had just happened.

Penelope had gone to Dana’s room last night.

Penelope had kissed Dana last night.

Penelope lied to her and Hope about it.

Penelope had lied to her all along.

Everything she had said last night had probably been a lie.

Josie had just been there, been available, and Penelope had said everything that was necessary to make Josie kiss her.

When she’d realised that she wasn’t going to get anything more out of Josie, she’d gone to Dana, and they’d probably done more than just kiss.

And when Josie had found all that out, Penelope had still tried to defend herself.

Josie had no idea how to feel.

On the one hand, she never wanted to see Penelope again.

On the other, no one had ever made her feel like Penelope had.

Penelope had known all of Josie’s insecurities. Josie had let her see past her walls. Penelope would have known how much this was going to hurt Josie, and she did it anyway.

Josie looked up and realised that they were in front of their house.

When Josie opened the door, she was immediately struck by how bright and happy it all was. There were fairy lights strung along the ceiling, a Christmas tree had been put up, and she could hear Michael Bublé coming from somewhere in the house.

She smiled involuntarily. She was home.

Pedro walked down the stairs, and when he saw it was them, he sprinted over.

“You’re back!” He shouted, before tackling Lizzie with a hug. 

Lizzie laughed and hugged him back.

“Hey there, did you do all of this by yourself?”

Pedro pulled away and shook his head.

“No, dad helped a little bit. He’s upstairs taking a nap,” he said, before moving to Josie and hugging her tightly.

Josie smiled and hugged him back, trying not to start crying.

“I missed you,” she told him. He pulled away from her and grinned.

“I missed you too. Now come on, dad wanted me to finish putting up the lights.”

They both laughed and put aside their luggage, before moving to help Pedro.

Josie lost herself in the act of untangling lights and singing along to various Christmas songs. She wiped away all thoughts of Penelope, and of Hope, and just enjoyed her time with her family.

She knew that sooner or later she would have to deal with everything that had happened with Penelope, but right now, she really didn’t want to think about it.

When their dad came downstairs, he hugged both of them tightly. Josie buried her head into his neck and smiled.

She really loved her family.

As he stepped back from both of them, he smiled.

“How was your trip?”

Lizzie and Josie both nodded.

“It was good,” Josie said, because really, that was the truth.

Even if the aftermath had been horrible, at the time, the trip had been good.

Lizzie nodded.

Their dad smiled.

“Well, that’s good.” He gave Lizzie a little nudge.

“Did you get that guy you’ve been crushing on?”

Josie looked at Lizzie with confusion, and Lizzie looked back at her just as confused.

“What?”

Their dad laughed.

“Lizzie, it’s very clear that there’s been some guy that you like. So, did you get with him?”

Oh, so their dad had also noticed that something was up.

Josie felt glad that at least she wasn't the last to know about Hope and Lizzie.

Lizzie cleared her throat.

“Well, actually, I need to talk to you about that.”

Their dad nodded, folding his arms.

“Sure Liz, you can tell me anything.”

Lizzie nodded and folded her arms to match his stance.

“Actually, this is sort of a whole family thing.” She looked at Josie when she said it, and Josie nodded at her.

Their father looked at both of them with confusion, but gestured for Lizzie to explain.

Josie tapped Pedro on the shoulder and got him to pull out his headphones. He looked up at Lizzie with a frown.

“What is it Lizzie?”

Lizzie took a deep breath and stared at the kitchen counter.

Josie reached out her for Lizzie's hand and squeezed it.

Lizzie smiled at her gratefully.

“Okay, so the thing is, I’m bisexual, and Hope is the girl that I’ve been crushing on, and now we’re dating.”

Josie couldn’t help but beam at her sister.

Their dad nodded slowly, obviously a little bit surprised, but supportive none the less.

Just like he’d been with Josie.

“That’s great Lizzie. So, I’m guessing you got together on the trip but did you two um,” he cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, “get together, well, physically, on the ski trip?”

Both the twins and Pedro winced and made noises of disgust.

“Ew dad no, we didn’t have sex.” 

Josie looked at the ground, biting back a sarcastic comment about how she was sure that if she hadn’t walked in on them, they definitely would have.

“Okay, well that’s good, you know me, I’m just checking.”

Lizzie shrugged awkwardly.

“Well, anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know, so yeah.”

Their dad nodded and pulled Lizzie in for a hug. 

Josie looked away, letting them have their moment. 

She found Pedro’s eyes and they shared a smile.

Their dad let Lizzie go and cleared his throat. Josie noticed that his eyes were glistening slightly.

“Wow, this is amazing guys, really good job.”

Pedro jumped up onto the kitchen counter.

“I did most of it!”

Lizzie scoffed.

“Oh, so you’re the one who strung the tinsel around the kitchen? You’re the one who put the star on top of the tree?”

Pedro stuck his tongue out at Lizzie and she lightly slapped him, throwing Josie a look, which she returned without thinking.

“Hey, they’re using their twin mind powers to gang up on me!”

Their dad laughed.

“I’m gonna stay out of this one. Actually, my buddy Dorian just called, I need to go into work for a meeting, I’ll be back after dinner. Please try not to kill each other while I’m gone.”

He gave them one last smile before walking out to his car.

Josie wished that he could stay.

She hated that his job always needed him.

She saw out of the corner of her eye that both her siblings looked as disappointed as she felt.

Pedro turned to both of them.

“Let’s watch Golden Girls!” He suggested.

Lizzie looked at Josie. Josie shrugged.

Lizzie turned back to Pedro.

“Let’s do it.”

+++

Lizzie and Josie found themselves on opposite ends of the couch with Pedro in between them.

About three minutes into the episode, it became very clear that Pedro had no intentions of watching the show.

Instead, he began to integrate them about the ski trip.

“So, how was it?”

Josie shrugged and Lizzie made a non-committal noise.

He rolled his eyes at them.

“Come on, you leave on the ski trip, the famous ski trip, Lizzie comes back with a girlfriend, Josie comes back acting weird, and that’s all you have to say?”

Josie looked away from her brother, biting her lip.

The trip had been great, it was everything after that hurt.

Lizzie, noticing Josie’s reaction, turned to their brother.

“Okay, I will admit, it was super awesome. What do you want to know?”

He turned to face Lizzie, leaning back on Josie’s legs.

“Who were you in a room with, when did you get with Hope, do your friends know, how was the party, because I know there was a party, I follow Kaleb on Instagram, how was the skiing, and did any drama happen?”

Lizzie laughed and poked her brother.

“I’ve been a bad influence on you.”

He laughed and poked her back. 

Josie smiled fondly at her siblings. Even if it was annoyingly obvious that Pedro had a favourite, seeing him and Lizzie interact was really cute. A side of Lizzie that was very rare these days would always come out when she was with him.

Josie wondered if Hope had seen that side. 

Lizzie launched into talking about the party and how she’d gone skiing with her friends. Josie mostly zoned out, choosing to focus on the TV instead, although when she heard mention of Jed, she tried to nonchalantly eavesdrop.

Apparently, the girl that Jed had been with last night was one of Lizzie’s friends, and they’d been having some sort of flirt off during the past week.

Josie couldn’t help but think of Penelope, and her heart ached. 

She was so stupid, thinking that Penelope would really want her for her.

It had been so obvious, Penelope could have anyone that she wanted, why had Josie thought that she’d want to pick the nobody of the school.

Josie had just been a toy for Penelope to play with. 

Josie had walked right into Penelope’s trap.

A knock sounded at the door. 

Josie sighed.

“I’ll get it. You guys stay here, talk about gossip and stuff.”

Pedro and Lizzie beamed at her and she made her way to the door.

Maybe it was Rafael, come to ask about the ski trip.

Talking to him might actually be good right now.

She opened the door and felt like she’d been hit when she saw who was on the other side.

It was Penelope.

Because of fucking course, it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you understand why I apologised at the beginning of the chapter! I would tell you guys not to worry, but next chapter it gets so much worse. Posie have had their fluff, now it's time for the angst!  
> I'll see y'all for more pain next update!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry part 2.   
> Enjoy.

Penelope looked at her with soft eyes, and for a moment Josie forgot that she was angry at her.

For a moment all Josie wanted to do was smile at Penelope and to just kiss her until the rest of the world faded away.

But then the moment ended and Josie remembered everything.

Remembered the pain, remembered the way she'd felt when she realized that this had just been a game to Penelope. 

Penelope bit her lip.

“Can we please talk?”

Josie sighed.

“Fine.” She pulled the door shut and walked out into the driveway. Penelope followed her.

Josie knew that she could have just shut the door in Penelope’s face, but right now, she needed to end this. She needed to make Penelope understand that she wasn’t going to deal with her bullshit.

Penelope turned so that she was in front of Josie, and Josie folded her arms.

“Look, you have to understand, that kiss between me and Dana, it meant nothing, okay?”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Right, yes, because I’m going to believe the person who lied to me about this.”

Penelope ran her hand through her hair.

“I’m sorry about that, I panicked. I didn’t want you to know.”

“Yeah, no shit Penelope.”

Penelope winced, but Josie didn’t care.

Josie stepped closer.

“You know, I’ve been defending you to everyone for months, because I thought that you were better than what they said. But it turns out, I was wrong. You are exactly what everyone says you are.”

Penelope shook her head.

“Josie, it was one kiss, and it didn’t mean anything okay? She-”

“Right and I’m guessing you said the same thing to Dana about our kiss.”

Penelope stepped back.

“What?”

“You kiss me and say it meant something to you. Then you kiss Dana. She thinks that it meant something, but you tell me it was nothing. What do I believe?”

Penelope reached out for Josie’s hand, but Josie pulled away.

“You said all that stuff about not being a cheater, but I guess that doesn’t apply when it comes to people who aren’t Dana. I guess it’s okay to just do whatever you want, right?”

Penelope swallowed.

“Believe me, that’s not what’s happening. Just please listen to me," she pleaded.

Josie shook her head.

She wanted to believe Penelope.

She really, really wanted to.

But she couldn’t.

“No. I can’t. Like I said, everything between us is over, and you need to leave.”

Josie turned to walk back inside, holding back the tears of anger in her eyes.

Anger at Penelope for breaking this fragile bond between them, anger at herself for thinking that they could be something more.

Penelope followed her.

Josie felt a sudden rush of déjà vu. 

She remembered all that time ago, how Penelope had chased after her, telling Josie that they should fake date.

Josie remembered thinking that it was a terrible idea.

She remembered thinking that Penelope was an idiot.

But she’d agreed anyway.

And now look how much had changed.

“Josie,” Penelope begged.

“No.”

“Josie!”

“Hey, I think she asked you to leave.”

Both Josie and Penelope turned to face the new speaker.

Rafael walked over to stand next to Josie, just a little bit in front of her.

“Didn’t you hear us? You aren’t wanted here.”

Josie felt Rafael’s hand settle on her arm, and she fought the urge to flinch away.

Josie watched Penelope’s eyes flick between Rafael and her. 

Penelope laughed bitterly.

“Oh, I get it now. This isn’t about me is it? This is about him.”

Josie frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

Penelope shook her head, and Josie pretended that it didn’t hurt when she saw her eyes fill with tears.

“So, was that whole speech just bullshit? Were you just practicing for when you came back to him?”

“Penelope, you’re being a jerk, stop it.”

“No, you know what, fuck you Josie. You’re a hypocrite. You’re getting all mad at me for kissing Dana, which by the way, is not the full story, not that you care, when you’re still in love with him!” Penelope stepped forwards, raising her arm to jab at Rafael.

Rafael stepped forwards as well, batting away Penelope’s hand.

“She’s allowed to like who she wants. If she’s in love with me, that’s not yours to attack. She isn’t a thing for you to play with.”

Penelope scoffed.

“Last time I checked, Josie can speak for herself. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about Wolf Boy. Just because you got one love letter doesn’t mean you know the whole situation.”

“You’re a bitch.”

“What can I say, you bring it out of me.”

Josie thought that one of them was going to start a fight. She could see it in their eyes.

Rafael looked so angry, so protective of Josie.

Penelope looked like she’d been shot and wanted nothing more than to spend her last breath taking down the person who’d hurt her. 

Josie knew Penelope.

She could see what Penelope was really feeling.

She knew that Penelope was lashing out because she was hurt.

Because Josie had hurt her.

Three things happened at the same time.

1\. Josie’s eyes met with Penelope’s. She saw the way Penelope was looking at her. She saw the pain in her eyes, and Josie recognized it.

It was heartbreak.

2\. Josie felt a pang of regret. Because judging by the look in Penelope's eyes, she might be wrong. 

3\. Lizzie’s voice sounded from the door.

“Josie?”

They all turned to stare at the doorway.

Lizzie was standing there, looking lost, like her whole world was changing.

Pedro was behind her, his eyes wide.

Josie looked at Lizzie and she immediately knew that Lizzie had heard everything.

Or at least, everything that she wasn’t supposed to.

“You’re in love with Raf?” 

Josie felt the world stop.

Rafael’s eyes were fixed on Lizzie, his mouth slightly open, still in shock.

Lizzie was staring at Josie, looking even more betrayed then she had when she found out about what Josie had done all those years ago.

Penelope was looking at Josie, and even out of the corner of her eye, Josie could see her pain.

Josie stepped towards Lizzie.

“Lizzie,” she whispered, not sure about what she could say that would make this better.

Lizzie shook her head, tears already shining in her eyes.

She spun around and walked back into the house, Pedro following after her quickly.

Josie ran up to the door, as if it would do something. 

As if somehow, she could turn back the clock, stop Lizzie from hearing what she’d just heard. 

Josie wished that she could tell Lizzie that Penelope was wrong, that Josie had never felt anything for Rafael, that the letters were lies, but she couldn’t.

This had been bound to happen.

Josie knew it.

She had always known that one day she’d have to face the music.

Now was just the worst possible time for it to happen.

Josie turned around slowly, facing the other two, who both looked shocked and hurt.

Penelope looked up at her. 

Josie saw her pain.

Josie knew that whatever had happened with Dana was definitely more complicated than it sounded.

She knew that Penelope did have at least some feelings for her.

She knew that she loved Penelope.

But right now, all thought was gone from Josie’s mind.

Right now, the only thing she knew was that Lizzie hated her, and that it was because of Penelope that all this was happening.

That if Penelope hadn't come here, if Penelope hadn't hurt her, Lizzie wouldn't have found out.

The only emotions she had were anger, and pain, and this feeling like she was going to erupt.

She remembered all the times Lizzie had broken down, and how she’d broken everything around her as she did.

Josie wanted that.

She wanted to set herself on fire, to burn everything until there was nothing left.

She wanted the world to burn.

She looked at Penelope, and at the pain in her eyes, and she settled for burning her world down.

After all, Penelope had hurt her first.

Josie took a step forward.

Penelope shook her head.

“Josie, I’m so-”

“Shut up,” Josie said, letting her voice cut through the night, refusing to let it tremble.

Not in front of Penelope.

She walked until she was barely a meter away from Penelope.

Penelope looked at her, and Josie saw an emotion that she’d never seen in Penelope’s eyes before.

Fear.

“You are a selfish, obnoxious, and evil person. I hate you, and I never want to see you again. I’m not falling for your lies ever again.”

Penelope held Josie’s gaze, and Josie thought that she could see something shatter behind her eyes.

Josie didn't falter, even as a voice inside of her screamed to run forwards to Penelope, to hold her and tell her it was okay.

She couldn't say it was okay.

Because it really wasn't. 

Then Penelope chuckled, low and angry, as she stepped away.

“Fine. I’ll go. I can tell when I’m not wanted.” She turned away as if she was finally going to leave, and then stopped.

Josie waited.

Penelope turned back; tears clear in her eyes.

“For the record, nothing that I said to you when we were together was a lie. You’re fucking amazing and I hate you so much for making me fall in love with you.” 

Then Penelope was gone.

Josie felt like someone had just cut all her strings.

She wanted to collapse and to never wake up.

What had she just done?

Rafael looked at her, still looking shaken from the events that had just happened.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Josie shook her head.

“You haven’t made me do anything. This was all a long time coming. Just go home. Happy Holidays Rafael.”

He paused, as if thinking about whether or not to stay. 

Josie looked at him, trying to hide how broken she felt.

He gave her a small smile, and then turned and walked back to his house.

Josie didn’t move back inside until he was gone from sight.

Even then, she didn’t go back in.

She didn’t want to be in the same house as Lizzie, knowing how angry she must be.

Lizzie would be furious. Josie had promised her that they had no secrets in between them anymore, had hidden her feelings and an entire fake relationship from Lizzie, and then had the audacity to get mad at Lizzie for keeping one thing from her.

She’d fucked up.

She stared into the distance, out to where Penelope had gone.

It was then that Josie felt like something had snapped, and suddenly she was bawling, burying her shaking hands in her hair.

She dropped to the floor and buried her head between her knees.

Fuck.

She’d just pushed Penelope so far away that she would probably never even want to look at Josie again.

Josie knew that she had no excuse, she’d said those words knowing how much they were going to hurt. 

She regretted it so much.

She felt thirteen again, like she had after she’d lied to Hope and Lizzie.

She felt sick.

She felt like the world had stopped spinning, like she was falling so very far.

What had she done?

She was still mad at Penelope, because Penelope knew how much her actions would hurt Josie, how much lying would hurt Josie, and she’d done it anyway.

But right now, Josie was far madder at herself.

She could have tried to make things right, to have listened to Penelope.

But she hadn’t, and now everything was on her.

This was her fault, all of it.

She couldn’t change this.

She had no idea how to fix this.

She wanted her sister, but she knew that Lizzie wouldn’t be ready to talk to her for ages.

She wanted Hope, but she’d already pushed Hope away, and there was no way that Hope would be on her side anyway. 

She wanted Penelope, but she was gone.

Josie heard a car pull up into the driveway, and she looked up, the headlights blinding her already blurry vision.

“Jo?” She heard her dad call out. 

She heard the concern in his voice, and immediately started sobbing again.

He rushed over to her, crouching down in front of her.

“Hey, Jo, what’s wrong, what happened?”

She shook her head and buried herself into his arms.

He hugged her tightly, and she tried to forget everything.

It didn’t work.

So, she whispered apologies into his chest.

Apologies to Lizzie, to Hope, to Penelope, to Rafael even, apologies to all of them for dragging them into this mess. 

He rested his chin on her head and she heard him say something, but she couldn’t make out the words.

When he pulled her up, she let him, leaning on him for support.

He walked her into the house and set her down on the couch.

He sat down next to her.

“Where’s Lizzie and Pedro?”

Josie took a shuddering breath, trying to speak, but when she tried, the words got stuck in her throat.

She gestured upstairs, hoping that her dad understood.

He nodded.

“Are they okay?”

Josie shook her head.

She knew that Lizzie was probably breaking her entire room right now. In fact, she was surprised that she couldn’t hear Lizzie screaming.

“What happened? Are they hurt?”

She shook her head, and mustered up the strength to speak, forcing out the words.

“Lizzie…she’s…she’s upset. I…I messed up dad.” The tears overtook her again and she threw her head into her hands.

He rubbed her back.

“It’s okay Jo, you stay here, alright? I’m going to go check on Lizzie.”

Josie wanted to hold on to him, to stop him from leaving, stop him from going to Lizzie and inevitably staying there for the rest of the night.

But she had never been able to be selfish. Not for long, anyways. 

So, she let him go, let him leave her alone.

Just like everyone.

Everyone left.

Sometimes because of reasons not to do with her, like her mother, leaving their family far too soon.

Sometimes because Josie wasn’t good enough, like Rafael, like Hope, like Penelope.

In the end, it didn’t matter why, all that mattered was that everyone left.

She looked down at her phone and she opened her contacts.

She looked down at Penelope’s.

And she deleted her number from her phone.

Such a dumb, petty, small thing.

But it still hurt to do. 

Josie heard Lizzie’s voice, sounding halfway between a scream and a sob.

Josie sighed, and rubbed at her eyes.

She must look like such a mess right now.

Not that it mattered, but Josie had always hated the way she looked when she cried.

Hated seeing herself in the mirror with her reddened eyes and the way that no matter how she tried, she still looked broken.

She stood up, ignoring what her father had said.

He’d be dealing with Lizzie for a while now, so Josie should just go to her room.

She didn’t feel like staying awake for much longer.

She locked the door after entering, and turned off the lights, save for the reading lamp by her table.

She rubbed her face and sighed.

She needed to do something, to feel like she could do anything to make this better.

So, she did.

Josie gathered every object in her room that had any relation to her and Penelope’s relationship and she put it in a box.

The contract, every single note that she’d never bothered to open, and now never would, the jacket Penelope had given to her that one morning in PE when Josie had underestimated how cold it was. 

Josie smiled despite the situation as she thought of that morning.

Penelope had insisted that it was a classic rom-com movie trope, but Josie had just rolled her eyes. 

Josie remembered how she’d noticed that it smelled like Penelope, and she remembered smiling, and then frowning, unsure of why she’d smiled.

How very far they’d come.

She even threw in the pieces of paper on which she’d drafted song lyrics about Penelope.

She’d been in a sappy mood one afternoon, and she just needed to get her feelings somewhere.

They were actually kind of good, but she didn’t want reminders of how happy she’d been.

Not when she was pretty sure she'd never feel like that again.

She pulled out a black sharpie and scribbled Penelope on the box.

Then she shoved it under her bed and promised herself that she’d never open it again.

When she was finished, Josie flopped back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling.

She wanted to cry, but it felt like she’d used up all her tears.

She was just tired now.

So very tired.

She laughed bitterly.

What a shitty start to the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before any of you get mad at Josie or Penelope or Lizzie, remember that they are all dumb and melodramatic teenagers who just forget to communicate!   
> Also, yay, I updated quickly! Now you guys get to be left on an even worse cliffhanger!  
> If you would like to scream at me in the comments, feel free to do so. I like hearing that my writing affects other people's emotions!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving all of you on such a horrible cliffhanger! Hopefully this chapter makes up for that, because while things get a little bit worse, they also get a little bit better.  
> Enjoy!

The next two weeks were probably the worst Josie had experienced ever in her life.

Lizzie didn't say a word to her.

Lizzie barely made eye contact with her.

Josie didn’t remember the last time that the two of them had been in the same room.

For the first week, neither twin left their bedroom.

Pedro and their dad went between them, trying to help in whatever way they could.

Josie couldn’t help but notice that they both spent more time with Lizzie.

She guessed that for her dad, it was because he didn’t know how to deal with an upset Josie.

Josie had never really reacted this badly to anything before.

She’d never been heartbroken before; she’d never had a complete meltdown and shut herself away in her room before.

Lizzie had done that many times before, so she figured that her dad was sticking with what he knew.

When he did try and talk to Josie, she was distant, preferring not to tell him the full story, just telling him that Penelope had broken up with her.

The full story was far too much of a mess, and she really didn’t want to make her dad even more disappointed in her than he already was.

Pedro tried comforting her by bringing her cookies, or by just sitting on the edge of her bed and every now and then showing her funny videos he found on Instagram.

It helped, not very much, but at least it made her smile.

Josie had put basically all her contacts on mute. This was mostly due to Hope and Penelope.

Hope had texted her multiple times, wanting to talk to Josie, saying that she was there for Josie if she needed her.

Josie didn’t answer those, because she really didn’t feel like talking to Hope when Hope was just going to tell her to talk to Lizzie.

It didn't help that her guilt about getting mad at Hope had increased tenfold.

Penelope had texted her 10 times. 

Josie had refused to look at the messages.

She didn’t know which option she was more afraid of; Penelope sending her hatred and pictures of her and Dana being all happy and together, or Penelope wanting to talk to her again.

Some of the boys had tried to contact her too.

Landon had texted her, saying that if she needed someone to talk, he was there.

He’d also sent her a playlist he’d made for ‘whenever you just want to ignore the world’.

She’d listened to it and found that he was quite right.

Jed had texted her, and Josie had also not bothered to read his messages, partly out of fear of what he would say.

She knew Jed, and she knew that he loved his cousin fiercely, and that if anyone made Penelope upset, they would get messed up.

She really didn’t want to be on the other end of Jed’s anger.

In short, Josie’s first week of holidays ended up just being her staying in her room listening to music, barely speaking a word.

She may have also written some shitty songs about heartbreak, but that was irrelevant.

What could she say, Penelope just brought her creativity out of her.

In the second week, Lizzie left the house on every day.

Most of the time it was with her friends, to go Christmas shopping, or to go out to the park and take pictures of the snow, like they hadn’t just been at a ski lodge, but on two of the days, Josie saw Hope’s car out the front of the house.

It hurt, but Josie had accepted by now that while she and Hope were in a bad place, it was okay for Lizzie and Hope to spend time together.

They were girlfriends after all.

Josie really wanted to be friends with Hope again, but she still needed time to feel like herself again.

She still needed time to build her walls back up, to get her confidence back.

She still needed to convince herself that she deserved to be friends with Hope.

Her dad and Pedro spent more time with her in the second week.

Pedro forced her to watch TV with him, and he even somehow managed to convince her to play Mario Kart with him.

Josie was terrible at the game, but it was nice that her brother was trying to make her feel better.

Her dad got her to cook with him, and they made a gingerbread house.

Josie took a photo of it, and considered sending it to Hope, but decided against it.

Her dad took her shopping on the one day that Lizzie had decided to stay in the house.

His reasoning was that Christmas was coming up, and Josie should get her presents for her friends before it was too late.

She also suspected that he was worried about her spending all her time inside like some weird hermit, but she went along with it anyway.

It would be good for her to get out.

Buying presents was hard this year, not only because she had more friends to consider giving things to, but also because she had to buy presents for people she wasn’t on speaking terms with.

She started with the easy ones first.

She got her dad a mug that had a picture of a pug wearing a Santa hat and some coffee. He was a sucker for that stuff.

She got Pedro a poster for the new Avengers movie that came out.

She found a hoodie with the slogan Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Avoiding Social Interaction and immediately thought of Landon.

He was the only one she’d texted back, so she figured it was okay to buy him a present.

She felt bad for not getting MG anything, so she bought a Green Lantern mug as she passed the comic book shop.

When it came to Lizzie and Hope, it was a little bit more complicated.

She knew what they liked, she’d known them for years, and she’d been buying them presents for years, so it really shouldn’t be that hard, but she also wanted to incorporate an I’m Sorry undertone to it. 

So, yeah it was a little bit more difficult getting stuff for them. 

Josie went through all the shops where she normally bought stuff for them, but nothing jumped out at her.

She was just about to leave the little jewellery store that Lizzie loved when she saw something that did jump out at her.

Just not as a present for Hope or Lizzie.

It was a necklace with a little green turtle pendant. It was so simple, but Josie immediately thought of Penelope.

She stepped closer and let her fingers ghost across the glass.

She wondered if Penelope would get mad at her if she bought her a present. Or maybe Penelope would just think that she was a sad loser.

Josie knew that she should leave the shop, but something in her made her continue to stare.

“Found something you like?”

Josie turned to look at the saleswoman, who was beaming at her so brightly that Josie had to smile back.

When she didn’t answer, the lady looked over at the necklace.

“Something for yourself?”

“No, it just reminded me of someone.”

“Ah, is there someone special?”

Josie blushed.

“That is a complicated question.”

The lady nodded understandingly.

“Young love often is.”

Josie nodded, looking back at the necklace.

“I’ll leave you to think about it, but my advice is to follow what your heart wants.”

Josie smiled thankfully and the lady walked over to some of the other customers.

Josie waited for a moment, and then turned back to the necklace.

She sighed.

Like all things to do with Penelope, it was like there wasn’t really a choice.

She left the shop holding the necklace in a small bag. 

She didn’t know if she’d have the courage to give it to Penelope, especially after everything that had happened between them, but at least there was a chance.

Josie ended up buying Lizzie a simple golden bracelet with hearts and a pair of hoop earrings, like the ones Lizzie always borrowed from Josie.

For Hope though, she bought a charm bracelet with a little Wonder Woman symbol on it. Hope and Josie had gone to see the movie together and ever since then, they’d had an inside joke about Hope being Wonder Woman. 

Josie hoped that the presents showed she cared. 

She decided in the car ride home that she was going to make up with both Hope and Lizzie before Christmas.

She didn’t know how she was going to go about that, but all she knew was that being alone was not fun, and she needed her sister and her best friend by her side.

+++

Josie decided that she was going to make up with Lizzie first. She wanted to get them back to being sisters.

She just didn’t know how to get Lizzie to talk to her.

To be fair to Lizzie, Josie’s only attempts at conversation so far had just been Josie trying and failing to make eye contact.

So, that wasn’t exactly going great.

It had been officially two weeks since the big argument when things once more took a turn for the worse. 

Josie was in her room, listening to her playlist, which may or may not be made up of nothing but songs about breakups and sadness, when she got a text from Landon.

**The Phoenix: Josie you need to see this**

**The Phoenix: This is bad**

**The Phoenix: Just warning you, this is really not good.**

Josie frowned.

Usually, if Landon was joking, he’d make it obvious. This seemed serious.

He’d attached a video, so she tapped on it, wondering why it was so bad.

When it loaded, her stomach twisted.

It was her and Penelope in the hot tub.

The video had been taken from a little way away, but the person filming had zoomed in. Josie’s face was obscured, but it was still very clear that it was her making out with Penelope.

The worst part was that from the angle it was taken, it looked like Josie didn’t have a shirt on.

Shit.

She immediately texted Landon back.

**Josie: How did you get this?!?!?!?!?!**

**The Phoenix: Kaleb sent me the link**

**The Phoenix: It’s on Instagram, both you and Penelope have been tagged, and by now half the school will have seen it**

**Josie: What’s the account**

**The Phoenix: @ski_trip_scandal**

Josie laughed, even though she could feel tears building up.

**Josie: well that’s subtle**

**Josie: they created an account for this one video?**

**The Phoenix: it looks like it**

**Josie: well**

**Josie: im fucked aren’t i**

**The Phoenix: I’ve already reported the account**

**Josie: Everyone is going to see it**

**Josie: everyone is going to think that I’m just another idiot girl who slept with Penelope and then got dropped**

**Josie: and it's not exactly like they'll be wrong**

Josie knew that she was spiraling, and she knew that it wasn't fair to Landon to dump all of this on him, but he was pretty good at dealing with her spirals.

Plus, she really needed to vent her feelings right now.

**The Phoenix: Penelope won’t let that happen**

**Josie: I really don’t think she’ll care**

**Josie: I’ve got to go**

**Josie: Thanks for letting me know about this Landon**

**The Phoenix: I’m here for you Jo**

Josie exited out of her messages to Landon and watched the video again. It had already been viewed by many people in their year. There were already mean comments from Dana and all her friends on it.

Josie read some of them and felt sick.

**Damn didn’t think that the other Saltzman had it in her**

**Bet Penelope enjoyed the ski trip 😉**

**Wow Josie really isn’t the good girl everyone thinks, is she**

**It's always the ones you don't expect!!**

She hated how all these people now had opinions like this.

It was like the first day after she’d kissed Penelope, but a thousand times worse.

That had just been a kiss, now everyone thought this was so much more.

Josie scrolled through the views of the video, feeling like she was being stabbed every time she saw a name that she knew.

**@__jed__**

**@mgthesuperhero**

**@kkkkkalebbbb**

**@landonkirby**

**@hopemikealson**

**@lizziesaltz**

**@pen_park**

Josie didn’t know what hurt more; the fact that Penelope had seen the video, or the fact that Penelope hadn’t bothered to text Josie about it.

For what felt like the millionth time in two weeks, Josie felt herself start to cry.

One simple impulse rose to the surface.

She wanted her sister.

She wanted to cry on her sister’s shoulder and talk about how much her life sucked right now.

Right then, she didn’t care that her and Lizzie weren’t talking. 

She stood up and stumbled over to Lizzie’s room, letting her hand knock at the door softly.

She waited for a response.

There was nothing.

So, she spoke.

“Lizzie,” her voice cracked, and she hoped that Lizzie understood that this was important.

Josie heard soft footsteps, and the door swung open.

Lizzie didn’t even have time to speak before Josie was crashing into her, sobbing into her chest.

She half expected Lizzie to push her away. Instead, Lizzie wrapped her arms around Josie and held her tight.

They stayed like that for some time, Lizzie holding Josie, and Josie sobbing into Lizzie’s shirt.

When she pulled away, Lizzie shut the door, and gestured for Josie to sit.

Josie collapsed on Lizzie’s bed, pulling a pillow towards her and hugging it to her chest.

Lizzie was the first to break the silence.

“So, I’m guessing you saw the video that got posted of you and Penelope?”

Josie nodded.

Lizzie sighed.

“I’ve reported it. It’ll be taken down.”

Josie shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter. Everyone's already seen it."

Lizzie was still standing.

“It’s worse for Penelope than it is for you,” Lizzie offered, but Josie could tell that Lizzie didn’t believe it.

“No, it’s not. She’s Penelope, everyone’s seen her making out with someone. Look at the comments, all of them are either congratulating her, insulting me, or both.”

“You really shouldn’t read the comments.”

Josie shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll be hearing it anyway on the first day back.” She felt tears well up in her eyes again and she shook her head.

“I’m so stupid. How could I just let this happen?”

Lizzie sighed and sat down next to Josie.

“You aren’t stupid, okay? You went after what you wanted, if anything, that’s the best decision you could have made. You aren’t the creep who took the video and posted it. No one should be blaming you. Especially not you.”

Josie shook her head but said nothing. Lizzie was right, but it still felt like this was all her fault.

Most of the stuff that had happened recently had been, so why not this too?

Josie turned to Lizzie.

“I’m really sorry about all of this. I’ve been a horrible sister.”

Lizzie sighed.

“Just a little.” 

Josie turned away and stared at the ground.

They were silent for a long moment, both waiting for the other to say something.

Josie needed to explain. She couldn’t deal with Lizzie hating her any longer.

“Look, about Rafael, yes I did hide the fact that I liked him from you. And yes, I did write him a love letter. I’m sorry for hiding that from you. I know this conversation feels like déjà vu, and I’m sorry for breaking our promise of no secrets.”

Lizzie nodded slowly.

“You promised me that you were going to trust me. You said that we were going to communicate about things. And then you continued to hide things from me, you continued to lie to me, and then you turned around and got mad at me for doing the same thing. When you got mad at me, you knew that you had also broken our promise. You had no right to say that stuff.”

Josie nodded. Lizzie was right. Josie had been very hypocritical about the whole situation.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that, there really was no reason for me to act like that.”

“So, what was happening with Penelope? Was that real?”

Josie sighed.

“Us being together was fake. I was trying to avoid talking to Rafael about the letter I sent him, and she wanted to make Dana jealous.”

Lizzie shook her head.

“Wow.”

Josie continued, trying to make Lizzie understand.

“But me getting feelings for her, me asking you for help and all of that, that was real. That was the problem. That’s been the problem this whole time. We were fake dating, and then I went ahead and fell in love with her for real. I really liked having someone who listened to me, who talked to me, someone who actually wanted me for me. And after everything I was so scared of how you’d react if you found out I was lying, scared you’d think I was stupid, that you’d hate me, so I lied. And that was wrong. I’m really sorry Lizzie.”

Lizzie was quiet for a long time, and Josie feared that maybe Lizzie was still mad, that maybe her apologies weren’t enough.

“You love her?”

Josie frowned.

“What?”

Lizzie looked up at her.

“You said that you fell in love with her for real.”

Josie winced.

“Yeah. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I messed up, I yelled at her, I said some shitty things, she said some stuff back, so I think it’s safe to say that whatever we had is gone now. Plus she kissed her ex.”

Lizzie shook her head.

“You can’t just give up like that. After everything that’s happened this year, you’re just ready to let her go?”

Josie shook her head and pulled the pillow closer to her chest.

“Can we talk about something else?”

Lizzie frowned but nodded.

“Okay, let’s talk about Hope.”

Josie nodded. They had to, sooner or later.

“It was wrong of me to get mad at you guys. You weren’t entitled to tell me about your relationship.”

“I still should’ve. We’re both hypocrites. I also said no secrets. I should’ve trusted that you’d be okay with me liking her. I should’ve trusted you full stop.”

Josie laughed softly.

“I’m okay with it, just to clarify. I just want the two of you to be happy. If that’s with each other, then I’m happy for you.”

Lizzie smiled.

“Well, that’s good, because I really like her. I just might be able to fall in love with her.”

Josie looked at Lizzie, surprised.

Lizzie shrugged.

“She doesn’t care that I’m made up of broken pieces. She just cares about me as a person, and she doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile. She just sees me.”

Josie smiled.

“I’m glad that you have that.”

Lizzie nodded.

“For what it’s worth, whatever happened between you and Penelope, I still think that you deserve each other. I think she saw you the way that Hope sees me.”

Josie laughed, thinking of Penelope’s words on the first night of the trip.

_I saw you. I wanted you to know that someone saw you._

“Yeah, I think she did.”

Lizzie hugged Josie with one arm, and Josie leaned into the embrace.

There was a noise at the door and both of them turned to look.

“Hello?” Lizzie called out.

The door opened to reveal a sheepish Pedro.

“How long have you been there?” Josie asked.

He shrugged.

“Not long! Well, not that long.”

Josie sighed and motioned for him to join them.

Lizzie put her other arm around Pedro.

“Are you two finally not fighting anymore?” He asked.

Lizzie nodded.

“Yeah. We’re good.” She looked at Josie as she said it, and Josie smiled.

Pedro sighed.

“Oh good. It was getting really annoying having to go between the two of you.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

Lizzie smiled and squeezed both of them with her arms.

“I’ve got an idea for a new pact. No secrets between any of us. We stick together, us Saltzman’s. Us against the world.”

Josie nodded.

“I think I could be okay with that.”

Pedro bit his lip, looking at Josie nervously.

“In that case, I have something to tell you.”

Josie frowned. 

“What?”

He shifted, moving a little away from Lizzie.

“I may or may not have been the one who sent the letters.”

It was like a puzzle piece suddenly fell into place.

She remembered the two of them at movie night, the conversation they’d had, Pedro’s mischievous smile as he’d woke her up, they fact that it really didn’t make sense how the letters had gotten out.

Josie glared at Pedro.

“I’m going to kill you,” she said, lunging forwards.

Pedro squealed and jumped off the bed.

Lizzie grabbed Josie, trying to stop her.

“In my defence, I could see that Penelope liked you and I wanted you to not be lonely!”

Josie lunged at him again.

“So, you mailed all five of the letters?”

“I thought it was better odds!”

Josie was just about to break free, when Lizzie spun around, blocking Josie with her body.

“Okay, calm down Jo.”

“I just found out that our brother is the real cause of all my problems, how can I calm down?”

“He may have gone about it in the wrong way, but he had a point.”

Josie glared at Lizzie.

“What?”

Lizzie sighed, exasperated.

“Josie, you never left the house. You had one friend. The only thing you knew about love was what you read in books. He just wanted you to actually have a life worth living.”

Josie folded her arms. Lizzie may have a point.

“That doesn’t mean I wanted those letters sent though!” She argued.

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Okay, so why did you address them?”

Josie pouted. Again, a fair point.

“But I didn’t send them.”

Lizzie sighed and touched Josie’s arm.

“Sometimes what defines us is what we won’t do. Just think about it. Think about how good these past few months have been. You’ve been holding yourself back for so long, you forgot to exist. Pedro gave you one small push and look how far you’ve come.”

Josie finally relented.

“Okay, I won’t kill him. But if he does anything like this again, I will set him on fire.”

Lizzie smiled at Pedro and he gave her a nervous smile back.

“Now that’s the Josie we know and love.” 

Josie smiled, feeling like she was at home for the first time since the argument. 

Her family was what mattered most.

No matter what, she could always count on her siblings to be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie and Josie made up, can I hear a wahoo! We love twin sisters who communicate about their issues!   
> I was so glad to hear that the last chapter hurt you guys, because to be honest, it hurt me as I was writing it! Don't worry my friends, they'll get there, and we'll get the Posie endgame that we deserve!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, with some more quality content, featuring Josie talking about her feelings, and Hope and Lizzie being supportive as heck.  
> Enjoy!

The holidays improved greatly after Josie made up with Lizzie.

For what felt like the first time in years, they both left their bedrooms at the same time, and hung out in the living room.

They talked, actual genuine conversations about school, about dating, about whatever they wanted.

Lizzie tried to broach the subject of Penelope a few times, but when it became clear that Josie wasn’t going to budge, she let it go.

Josie really didn’t feel like talking about Penelope. It was all too complicated, and she didn’t want to deal with all the feelings she had.

The anger and the hate mixed in with the love she felt.

She didn’t really know who the hate was directed at, her or Penelope, but it was there, and it stopped Josie from being able to think about Penelope without feeling a pit in her stomach.

Lizzie brought up Hope a few times, and Josie let her ramble about how much she liked Hope. They hadn’t gone on any official dates yet, but they had hung out in the park and at the diner. Apparently, Hope had tried to get Lizzie to talk to Josie.

Josie was surprised by that. She thought that Hope was mad at her.

Lizzie sighed when Josie told her that.

“She isn’t mad at you Jo; she’s just giving you time. She knows she hurt you, and she wants you to make the first move.”

Josie was planning on talking to Hope soon, but apparently, she was now on vacation with her dad visiting family and she would only be back the day before Christmas. 

And, considering Josie wanted to talk to her in person, Josie would have to wait.

In the meantime, she’d helped Lizzie work up the courage to tell her friends that she was bisexual and that she was with Hope.

Josie knew that they’d all be fine with it and that Lizzie would be able to come out even without her help, but it was still really nice that her twin had come to her for help.

When Lizzie came back from the sleepover on which she’d told them, with a bright smile on her face, Josie had hugged her and told her that she was proud.

She’d pretended that she didn’t see Lizzie’s tears of relief.

The day before Christmas came around quicker than Josie expected.

Josie had barely woken up, when Lizzie stormed into her room.

“Josie!”

Josie groaned.

“Lizzie, it’s like seven in the morning,” she mumbled. Lizzie sighed.

“Hope’s back at twelve today. Which means that it’s time for you to do your apology and rekindling of the friendship thing.”

Josie yawned.

“Why are you more excited for this than I am?”

Lizzie sighed again and slapped Josie's leg. Josie made an over-exaggerated noise of pain and Lizzie rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe I want to be able to spend time with my girlfriend and my sister at the same time.”

Josie sighed.

“Oh great, third wheeling.”

Lizzie hit her again, and Josie sat up.

“Okay, fine, I’ll start getting up.”

Lizzie beamed at her.

“Awesome! She’ll be here at one so make sure you’re ready by then. And please don’t mess this up.” Lizzie turned and left the room.

Josie groaned and dropped her head back onto the pillow.

Yeah, getting up could wait just a little longer.

+++

Josie spent most of the day emotionally preparing for the reality that Hope would be back soon, and that she would need to have a very important conversation with her.

Lizzie was also freaking out, but to a lesser degree, as she’d actually been texting Hope the whole time she was away.

Lizzie didn’t think it was such a big deal.

“Come on Josie, I forgave you.”

“You also ignored me for two weeks.”

“Josie, you know me, being overdramatic is my thing. This is Hope we’re talking about.”

Josie knew that was true, but she was still worried.

She’d had so many deep conversations over the past few days, it felt like she was baring herself to the world, bit by bit.

She really hated it. 

As much as being in the shadows all her life had sucked, there had been a certain comfort in being unknown, unseen.

+++

Josie was lying on the couch, listening to music, when there was a knock at the door.

Lizzie shot off the couch, sprinting past Josie to open it.

Josie rolled her eyes but pushed herself off the couch slowly.

Lizzie opened the door to reveal Hope, wearing a hoodie and jeans.

“Hey Liz,” she said, nervously smiling at Lizzie.

Josie was such an idiot. Honestly, how could she have not seen this coming? Hope was so obviously smitten.

Lizzie beamed at Hope and greeted her with a tight hug. Josie averted her eyes awkwardly, letting her sister and Hope have their moment.

When she saw out of the corner of her eyes that they’d pulled apart, she stepped forwards to look at Hope.

Hope’s eyes fell to her, and she offered Josie a small smile.

“Hey Jo,” she said softly, like she was unsure of what Josie was going to do.

Josie couldn’t stop herself from moving towards Hope to wrap her in a hug. Obviously, she’d missed her best friend more than she’d thought she did.

Hope made a noise of surprise, but quickly hugged Josie back.

Josie smiled into her shoulder. This felt right. 

Josie pulled back, and Hope folded her arms self-consciously, clearing her throat.

Josie turned to Lizzie, who understood immediately.

“I’m gonna go, you two go outside, when you’re done, just give me a yell and I’ll be there.” Lizzie smiled at Hope and squeezed Josie’s hand before disappearing.

Josie stepped outside shutting the door behind her, breathing in the fresh winter air.

The last time she’d talked with someone out here, it had ended in her breaking Penelope’s heart, and her own along with it.

Hope cleared her throat again.

“It’s good to see you again Jo.”

Josie turned around, smiling.

“It’s good to see you too.”

Hope smiled back but then hesitated, looking like she was trying to find the right words.

“Are you okay, I mean, with the whole video thing? I know it got taken down, but there were some shitty comments and the whole thing was just disgusting, I mean how could someone film you like that, and then-”

“Hope,” Josie said softly, cutting her off. Hope looked down nervously.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to ramble, I guess I’m just nervous.”

Josie shrugged.

“It’s okay, I’m sort of nervous too. And I’m fine, about the whole video thing. At least, now I am. I’m worried about going back to school though.”

Hope frowned.

“If anyone gives you any shit, you know I’ll kick their ass, right?”

Josie laughed.

“Yeah, I know. You’re Wonder Woman.” 

Hope laughed.

“Exactly.”

They both smiled at each other, knowing that while apologies still had to be made, they were best friends, and nothing was going to get in between that.

Josie spoke first.

“Look, I’m really sorry for flipping out on you and Lizzie. It was really shitty of me to do, I shouldn’t have made it all about me, I should’ve just been supportive. I’m sorry for being such a terrible friend.”

Hope shook her head, and Josie’s heart stopped for a fraction of a second, fearing that Hope was going to reject her apology. But then Hope spoke, and her fear was replaced with surprise.

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. You may have been a little aggressive with what you said, and yes maybe there was some overreaction involved,” Josie laughed quietly when Hope said that, and Hope smiled at her before continuing, “but the truth is that I was also in the wrong. I thought that by not telling you, I’d be protecting you. I thought that since you had so much on your plate already, what with Penelope and all, and I didn’t want you to be worried about my drama too.”

Josie sighed.

“Hope, I wanted to be there for you. You listened to all of my whining and you helped me, I just wanted to return the favour.”

Hope nodded.

“I know, and I see that now. It was dumb, and I knew that you were going to be hurt by me lying, and I still did it. I’m the bad friend, not you, I should have told you.” Hope stepped forwards and reached out to take Josie’s hand.

“And despite me acting like that, I trust you Josie, okay? You’re my best friend, and I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t trust you. You deserve better than that.”

Josie smiled.

“Okay.”

Hope tilted her head to the side.

“Okay, what?”

Josie laughed and squeezed Hope’s hand.

“Okay, I forgive you. Okay, I know that you trust me, okay, I'm still sorry for overreacting, okay, you’re my best friend too, and okay, don’t do it again.”

Hope rolled her eyes.

“You’re such an idiot.”

Josie grinned and poked Hope’s shoulder.

“That’s not very nice. I thought I was your best friend.”

Hope poked Josie back, and they both started laughing.

Josie had missed Hope and their combined idiocy. 

When they’d calmed down, Hope took on a more serious look again.

“But seriously, you’re okay with me and Lizzie? There isn’t any part of you that secretly hates us both?”

Josie rolled her eyes but then smiled at Hope. 

“I’m okay with you guys. I trust you to not break her heart, and I trust her not to break yours. And I know that you guys can care for each other and me at the same time. You don’t have a finite amount of love to give.”

Hope smiled.

“Seems like you’re the wise one now Jo.”

“It’s a gift that comes with youth.”

“You’re six months younger than me, shut up.”

Josie bumped their shoulders together and Hope laughed again.

Josie was about to head back inside to where Lizzie was probably waiting for them to return, when Hope lightly grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I need to ask.”

Josie knew where this was going, but she let Hope speak anyway.

Hope looked hesitant, like she was trying to craft the question in a way that wouldn’t make Josie start crying. Josie was grateful for that, because she seemed to have an abundance of tears to cry over Penelope Park.

“What’s happening with you and Penelope?”

Josie shrugged, trying to hide the hurt in her heart.

“It’s over.” 

Hope frowned.

“I feel like there’s more to it than that.”

Josie shrugged again, looking away to hide the tears threatening to break free.

“I don’t really feel like talking about it now. Maybe later, but right now, I think we have to get back to Lizzie. She probably thinks we’re dead by now.”

Hope laughed, but when Josie looked at her, she could still see concern in her eyes.

“Okay, we’ll talk later.”

Josie smiled gratefully and led Hope back inside.

Neither of them needed to call out to Lizzie to get her downstairs. Lizzie had clearly been listening for the sound of the door opening, and she was already halfway down the stairs by the time they were inside.

“Oh good, I thought maybe something went wrong and you were trying to kill each other. Or something had gone horribly right and you’d started making out.”

Both Hope and Josie grimaced.

“I’m pretty sure that’s your job Lizzie,” Josie commented, and both Lizzie and Hope blushed.

Josie rolled her eyes.

“If you guys are going to be that easy to tease, you realise I’m going to do it all the time, right?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, still blushing, but Hope gave Josie a shit-eating grin and stepped closer.

“Oh, but Josie, I have so many things to tease you about. Like your whole fire kink thing, and don’t even get me started on the fact that I’ve seen you basically undressing Penelope with your eyes at the lunch table. Seriously, you are not as subtle as you think you are.”

This time it was Josie’s turn to blush and look away.

Lizzie groaned.

“Gross, that’s my sister you’re talking about, Mikealson.”

Hope folded her arms.

“Are you ever going to call me something other than my last name?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Lizzie just shrugged.

“When I come up with a cute nickname, I’ll use that. And when that day comes, there had better be no complaining.”

Hope grinned.

“Sure thing.”

Josie rolled her eyes and made a fake vomiting noise. 

“You guys are gross.”

Hope opened her mouth to say something, but when both Lizzie and Josie glared at her, she shut it again.

Lizzie grinned at the two of them.

“Okay, so now that that’s all done, it’s time for us to go out for a day-before-Christmas lunch!”

+++

Lunch ended up being the three of them sitting in a booth at the diner eating pizza and drinking milkshakes. 

Josie tried to pay attention to the conversation, and at times it worked, and she did have a good time overall, but every now and then she’d be thrown back to the times she’d been here with Penelope.

Their first meeting after the letters were released, the night of Kaleb’s party, all the times after school that Penelope had dragged her here with Landon and Jed for half an hour.

Josie would never say it out loud, but in her mind, the diner had sort of become her and Penelope’s place.

As dumb as that was, that was how Josie thought of it.

So, being here without Penelope to make dumb jokes and to drag her into randomly deep conversations just felt wrong.

She knew that both Lizzie and Hope noticed that something was up, but they both left it alone. Josie was thankful for that at least. 

Just as they were about to leave though, Jed walked in. 

He didn’t notice them right away; it was only after he’d sat down at the counter that he saw them.

It was Josie who he made eye contact with first, and when he did, he held it for an uncomfortably long time. 

Josie knew she could have looked away, but there was something about the intensity in his eyes that held her there.

Eventually, he gave his head the tiniest little shake, and turned away.

Lizzie reached out and squeezed her hand.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Josie smiled back gratefully and rose from her seat.

Jed didn’t turn to look at them as he left, but Josie still somehow felt his gaze.

She wondered if he would mention it to Penelope. 

For what was surprisingly the first time, she wondered how Penelope was doing.

Wondered if Penelope was fine, if she was already with Dana, or some other fling.

Wondered if she’d already forgotten about Josie, letting her become just another footnote.

Or maybe, just maybe, Penelope was hurting too.

+++ 

Josie allowed herself to become lost in the company of her friends again, until she found herself lying on Lizzie’s floor, with Hope and her sister on the bed.

They were listening to some of Lizzie’s music, and a new song came on. It was Good Things Fall Apart by Jon Bellion. 

Josie had listened to this a few times in the past week and every time she had done so, it felt like the song perfectly described her and Penelope’s relationship.

She saw Lizzie and Hope exchange a glance and she sighed.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to skip this song just because it’s about a breakup. It’s a good song.”

Lizzie sighed and paused it anyway. Josie sat up, knowing that her sister was going to try to get Josie to open up. 

“Josie, are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened? I mean, I barely know what happened and I heard half of your argument.”

Hope nodded.

"I know literally nothing except for the fact that you had a fight."

Josie sighed and pushed her head between her knees.

She knew that it would probably be good to talk about this whole situation with someone. The closest she’d come to so far was her talking to Landon and rambling about all her emotions. She knew that he was friends with Penelope, but she still trusted him to keep what she said secret. He was a good guy like that.

“It’s just really complicated and to be honest, sometimes even I don’t really know what happened.”

Hope slid off the bed to sit down next to Josie and she rested a hand on her knee.

“Try.” 

Josie sighed and lifted her head up, trying to gather her words. 

“I don’t know the full story about what happened with her and Dana on that night. All I know is that Penelope went to Dana’s room, they kissed, and then Penelope lied to me about it. I don’t know why she lied, I don’t know why she went to Dana’s room, I don’t know anything. And that’s the real problem.”

Josie had to stop as another piece fell into place. Another reason about why she had been so quick to distrust Penelope.

“On that night when we got together, I poured my heart out to her. I told her everything that I was sorry for, I told her that I was falling in love with her, I gave her everything. Up until that moment, she’d been the one who’d been giving me everything, but right then, in that moment, all that she said, was that she didn’t want to sit with Dana and that she wanted me.

“I didn’t know what she felt for me, I didn’t know if she wanted to be girlfriends. And then she kisses her ex and lies to me about it. So, I had no idea how to feel. All I knew was that I gave her my heart, and then she just acted like it was nothing to her. When she came to my house, we both said some bad things. And I decided to cut her off, I wanted to hurt her like she’d hurt me, I wanted her to know how I’d felt.

“And then she said she loved me. She said none of it had been a lie. And I want to believe that. I want to look at the texts she’s sent me and see if maybe she’s given me her heart. But all I know, is that I opened up to her and it ended in me being hurt. I don’t trust people easily; I don’t let people in easily, and she knew that, and she still made the choices she did.”

Josie felt out of breath once she’d finished. Thankfully, she didn’t start crying. 

Instead, she just fell back onto the floor staring up at the ceiling, listening to the silence.

She wondered what Hope and Lizzie were thinking.

Hope ran her thumb across Josie’s knee.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

Josie smiled up at the ceiling.

“For what it’s worth though, she really cares about you,” Hope continued, quietly.

Josie wanted so badly to ask how Hope knew that, if Penelope had said something or if Hope was just guessing.

“I know. But she needs to be the one to tell me that. If I ever try again with her, I need to know from her mouth that she feels the same way I do. I can’t just know; I need her to tell me how she feels.”

Hope nodded.

“That’s fair. You can’t go into a relationship not knowing how the other person feels about you,” Hope said, her eyes flicking to meet Lizzie’s.

Josie smiled and shrugged. There was silence for a moment, and then Lizzie spoke.

“Thank you for telling us. I know you don’t like talking about your feelings, so it means a lot.”

Josie smiled up at her sister and tapped her leg.

“You guys are my best friends. If there’s anyone in this world who I trust with stuff like this, it’s the two of you.”

Hope smiled.

“Same.”

Lizzie nudged Josie with her foot.

“Love you sis.”

Josie laughed.

“I love you too Lizzie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love the Hope/Lizzie/Josie trio and we love girls who aren't afraid to talk about their feelings with each other!  
> I know that there hasn't been Posie for a little bit, but don't worry, it is coming, and when it gets here, there is going to be a lot of emotions, and a lot of mess.  
> Also, the song I mentioned in the chapter is really good, and seriously, it reminds me so much of Posie's relationship post-break up.  
> I'll leave you here, and you can enjoy the fact that these wonderful girls are friends again!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update is here! I will let you know though, while the happiness and the friendship is nice, things aren't so good elsewhere in Josie's life.  
> Enjoy!

Christmas Day at the Josie’s was always amazing, but there was something about this specific day that felt special.

Hope had slept over, as she usually did, and Josie was surprised that any of them had actually gotten to sleep. 

Actually, she was more surprised that her dad let Hope and Lizzie stay in the same room, but he must have figured that with Josie there, they weren't going to try anything drastic.

The way that they did Christmas at Josie's house was that they all opened their presents, and then all the kids would watch A Muppets Christmas Carol while Josie’s dad made lunch.

Hope would then leave to go to the big Mikealson family lunch. Usually she would text Josie afterwards, telling her everything that had happened. 

It was always a good day, and that was why it one of Josie’s favourite holidays.

She’d already wrapped everyone’s presents and placed them under the tree a few days ago, except for Landon and MG’s, because she’d mailed theirs to their houses, and Hope’s which she’d kept in her drawer.

She had wrapped Penelope’s but had immediately placed it in the designated Penelope box under her bed.

Right now, there was no chance that she was sending that.

When she woke up in the morning, Hope and Lizzie were still asleep. Josie smiled as she saw how their hands were entwined as they lay sleeping.

She still felt bad for blowing up at them when she found out, because seriously, they were cute together.

Just before she headed downstairs, she went into her room to get Hope’s present.

She made her way downstairs to find Pedro already on the couch, scrolling through Instagram.

“Hey loser,” she called out softly. He looked up and rolled his eyes.

“Hey annoyance,” he replied. She punched him lightly, but he just laughed.

“Merry Christmas.” 

He grinned up at her.

“Merry Christmas indeed.”

She walked over to the tree and placed Hope’s gift under it, before sitting on the couch next to Pedro.

She waited with Pedro on the couch for the rest of the house to wake up. They were both on their phones, and every now and then would show the other a funny video or meme.

This was how every Christmas started off, with Josie the early riser, and Pedro the overexcited Christmas lover sitting on the couch hoping that their family would hurry up already.

Their dad was the first down, and he hugged both of them and wished them a merry Christmas. Then he went into the kitchen to prepare their special Christmas pancakes.

Lizzie and Hope took longer than they usually did, and both Josie and Pedro agreed that they were most likely making out or something like that.

When they came downstairs, hand in hand, both of them with slightly flushed faces, Josie gave Pedro a knowing look.

The present swapping began after breakfast. Josie was always more excited to see her family’s reactions to the gifts she gave them than she was to get her own presents. 

She just loved seeing her dad’s pleased smile, or hearing Lizzie’s excited squeal, loved seeing Pedro’s eyes light up, or feeling Hope pull her into a one-armed hug.

Even if getting presents was awesome, she just loved seeing everyone else’s joy.

Their reactions definitely did not disappoint this time around. Her dad chuckled at his gift of a mug and Pedro looked like he was about to start crying when he unfolded his poster. 

When he tackled her in a hug, Josie just smiled.

Lizzie did actually scream when she unwrapped Josie’s present, claiming that the bracelet was ‘so cute, Jo I love it so much’ and that the earrings were ‘perfect, I’ve always wanted a pair like these for my own’.

Hope just laughed when she unwrapped her present of a bracelet with the Wonder Woman charm on it. She pulled Josie into a hug and whispered into her ear

“Thanks Jo, I love you.” 

Josie just smiled.

Their dad gave everyone a pair of socks, sticking with his theme of always giving them an item of clothing. Last year had been scarfs, and Josie had to admit that she did love the yellow one he’d given her.

Josie smiled as she pulled out a pair of black socks with little flames on them. Lizzie grinned at her.

“I may have helped dad with his present to you this year.”

Josie slapped Lizzie lightly.

Pedro gave Josie a set of notebooks and pastel coloured pens. He explained that it was for her to write all her songs in. Josie smiled and thanked him.

Josie wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from Hope and Lizzie this year, seeing as they hadn’t been on speaking terms recently.

She unwrapped Hope’s present first, and was delighted to find that it was a silver necklace with the inscription _To make quiet things heard_.

Josie hugged Hope tightly.

“Thank you.” 

When she unwrapped Lizzie’s present, she noticed her sister watching her intently, nervously. Josie wondered what exactly she could have received.

She opened and found that it was a silver bracelet with a locket attached. Josie smiled, ready to thank Lizzie, but her sister poked her before she could speak.

"Open it."

Josie complied, and upon opening it, gasped with happiness. 

It was a picture of Josie and Lizzie as little kids, sitting on their mothers lap. All of them were smiling, and their mother was squeezing them tight. 

Josie looked up at Lizzie with tears in her eyes.

"I found that when I was going through old photos on the day I was bored. I thought you might like it."

Josie was at a loss for words, so instead of trying to speak, she just hugged Lizzie. 

Lizzie hugged her back and whispered into her ear,

"Merry Christmas Jo."

+++

After they’d cleaned up all of the wrapping paper, they laid on the couch. Pedro threw his legs over Josie and Hope, and put his head in Lizzie’s lap. Hope sat in between Lizzie and Josie, and alternated between resting her head on each twins shoulder.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Hope left after the movie finished, they had their Christmas lunch, they played board games all afternoon with their dad, and then finally Josie found herself in the quiet of the evening.

Her dad was upstairs reading, Pedro was playing a new video game that Lizzie had got him, and Lizzie was almost definitely texting her friends about the necklace Hope had got her, inscribed with the words _I believe you_. Josie didn’t quite understand the significance, but Lizzie had nearly started crying when she read it, so it must be important.

She had to admit though, every time she saw Hope and Lizzie being happy together, she thought of the necklace upstairs, and thought about sending it to Penelope’s house.

But she held back. 

She couldn’t do that; she’d lost her chance to.

Penelope wasn’t hers, no matter how much she wished she was. 

+++

 

Josie found herself able to relax for the next few days, alternating between writing about all her emotions in her new notebooks, spending time with Lizzie and Hope, and just sleeping.

Honestly, sleeping until midday was something special that should never be taken for granted.

Josie was not exactly looking forwards to school, so she was just trying to make the best of her time in the holidays that was left.

She knew that when she went back, everyone would have their take on Josie’s relationship with Penelope and the video.

It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. Josie and Penelope made out in the hot tub on the night of the ski trip. That night was the last night that Penelope ever posted a photo of Josie with a cute caption on her Instagram story. Obviously, something had happened.

Josie didn’t want to hear the rumours, didn’t want to deal with the way that everyone would be staring at her as if she was some sort of zoo animal.

She didn’t want to just become a source of entertainment for everyone to talk about.

So, when Lizzie first brought up the New Year’s Party at Kaleb’s house, she was very against it.

“No, absolutely not.”

“But Jo, it’s the New Year’s Party! It’s going to be awesome, and Kaleb’s running it, so it’s going to be fine!”

“Still not happening.”

“Josie, seriously, nothing will happen!”

That was the vein in which most of their conversations were when it came to the party.

It was funny to think that if everything hadn’t gone horribly wrong, Josie would probably be going with Penelope.

Josie sometimes wondered if maybe she should have just shut up and kept their fake relationship going. At least then she’d still get to have Penelope in her life.

Josie was planning on staying home, eating M&M’s and watching the countdown on TV, while refreshing Instagram, waiting for the cheesy New Year’s posts to come up.

That sounded like a good plan.

What she wasn’t counting on was how good at convincing people all of her friends were.

MG was now talking to her, after he’d sent her a thank you text for his Christmas present. That had quickly flowed into a conversation and now she had a group chat with him and Landon.

Unfortunately for her, Lizzie had somehow gotten MG’s number. And apparently, they knew each other fairly well.

So, when Josie got added to a group chat with MG, Lizzie, and Hope, that was immediately titled New Year’s Party Gang, she just sighed, and tried to stay unnoticed.

**Sister Dearest: Okay, so basically, the plan is that we’re all going, and we’re going to have a great time.**

**Wonder Woman: k.**

**Sister Dearest: Can I get some more enthusiasm?**

**Wonder Woman: K!**

**Sister Dearest: better.**

**MGenius: Hey guys! It’s super cool that you’re all coming this year! It’s going to be so good!**

**Wonder Woman: I sure hope so**

**Sister Dearest: Don’t worry, I’ll stay by your side for the whole night**

**Wonder Woman: thanks**

**MGenius: cute lol**

**Sister Dearest: you bet**

**Sister Dearest: Josette, I know you are reading these**

Josie sighed. She'd better answer, otherwise Lizzie would storm into her room and take her phone.

**Josie: Yeah**

**MGenius: Are you coming?**

**Josie: No.**

**MGenius: what????? Why not**

**Josie: I don’t particularly feel like having the entire school staring at me and slut-shaming me**

**MGenius: that won’t happen Jo, I promise**

**MGenius: if anyone does anything, I will get Kaleb to throw them out**

Josie sighed. She did want to go. She’d heard that Kaleb’s New Year’s parties were spectacular, and it would be fun to do something other than sitting alone on a couch. 

Still, she felt unsure.

**Josie: I still don’t know**

**MGenius: Josie it’s going to be super fun. Landon is coming, so the three of us can just hang out in a corner the whole night**

**Sister Dearest: And Hope and I will be there**

Josie tapped the edge of her phone and slowly typed the question she’d been avoiding. 

The question that, to be perfectly honest, she already knew the answer to.

**Josie: Is Penelope coming**

**MGenius: yeah, but I can tell her to leave you alone**

**Josie: she won’t listen**

**MGenius: she will**

**Wonder Woman: she will**

Josie knew deep down that if MG and Hope told Penelope to leave her alone, she would. Josie knew that Penelope wasn’t a complete jerk.

She sighed and finally gave in.

**Josie: okay**

**Josie: I’ll come, but if anything happens, I’m going straight home**

**MGenius: you won’t regret this**

+++

When Josie stepped out of the car with Hope and Lizzie, her first thought was that she was glad that she brought a jacket. It was really cold.

Lizzie tugged her scarf around her. She was wearing a frilly blue dress, that had just barely made it past their father’s radar on the length of a dress. While she looked absolutely stunning, it clearly did nothing for keeping her warm.

“Why is it so cold out here?” She complained. Josie resisted an eye roll. It was literally December. Of course, it was going to be cold.

Hope walked up beside Lizzie and shrugged off her jacket, handing it to Lizzie.

“Here, I’ve got a long sleeve on underneath.”

Lizzie took the jacket and smiled at Hope.

“Thanks.”

Hope and Lizzie stared at each other lovingly, and Josie looked away.

As okay as she was with them dating, moments like these were still awkward. 

She cleared her throat.

“We should head in,” she suggested, turning to look at Lizzie and Hope, who were both wearing guilty smiles.

They nodded in reply to Josie’s suggestion, and the three of them headed up to Kaleb’s house.

Josie tried to ignore the voice in her mind that was reminding her that the last time she was here, she was with Penelope.

Back before feelings complicated everything. 

She remembered Penelope running her fingers through Josie’s hair, she remembered the way Penelope had stayed by her side the whole night, the way that Josie had felt confident in herself for the first time in forever.

She wished that she could turn back time, back to those happier times.

But she couldn’t.

She could only walk up to the front door with Hope and Lizzie, and hope that things turned out for the better.

+++

The first part of the night was fine. Josie immediately found the corner where MG and Landon and she sat with them. Landon had his guitar out, and was trying to see if he could play whatever song was blasting over the speakers.

MG was a surprisingly good singer, and he kept trying to harmonize with Landon. Occasionally Josie would join in, and she enjoyed the way they’d both grin at her.

She had a few drinks, and while the beer still tasted horrible, it did dull things a little.

Every now and then though, someone would look at Josie, or she’d hear her name as someone walked past talking to their friends. She kept waiting for someone to do something, to confront her, but it never came.

MG and Landon tried their best to distract her, and for that she was thankful.

She hated that she felt so on edge.

She hated that she kept scanning the crowd looking for Penelope.

She’d seen Jed a few times, and she’d caught him looking over at them, but whenever they made eye contact, he’d look away.

She wondered if he hated her.

Hope and Lizzie were off somewhere, either dancing or talking with Lizzie’s friends, but Josie didn’t mind. She was perfectly fine with MG and Landon. 

Josie knew that they were both worried about her, she could see it in their eyes whenever she tensed up. They didn’t say anything though, instead opting to tell her dumb jokes, and getting her to sing with them. 

People kept looking at her, and she just knew they were talking about her.

She started thinking that maybe this was a bad idea.

So, she drank a little more. It helped to dull the anxiety building in her. MG and Landon kept throwing her worried looks, but she ignored them

She just wanted to make it through the night, and drinking seemed like it would help her.

Then, at about 11 o’clock, she went to the bathroom. 

While she was washing her hands, the door swung open, and in walked Dana and Sasha.

Josie felt her stomach churn. 

Shit.

She looked down, and cleared her throat, trying to think of something to say, but Dana was faster.

“Oh, hey Josie, what are you doing here? I thought once Penelope dropped your pathetic self that you’d give up on the whole ‘trying to be social’ thing.” Dana and Sasha laughed like they’d just heard the funniest joke ever.

Josie stayed still, her mouth unable to move, unable to form any type of rebuttal.

Dana continued.

“Wow, you look like a wreck. I guess the break up hit you hard. Unfortunately, you’re the only one. I mean, have you seen Penelope recently? She’s doing amazingly.”

Josie knew that Dana’s words were probably true. She had known that Penelope would get over her quickly.

Dana laughed again.

“Honestly, I saw this whole situation coming. You got all brave, jumped Penelope, showed her that you really know nothing about what you’re doing, and when she was finally able to get rid of you, she came back to me, and let me tell you, she had a much better time.”

Josie wasn’t sure if it was Dana’s words, the shitty beer, or an awful combination of both, but she felt like throwing up.

“And now the whole school knows that you’re just another one of her girls. Just another idiot who thought that Penelope cared. The whole school knows exactly who you are. So, have fun Josie. Now finally you’re the Saltzman in the spotlight.”

Dana smirked at her and then tugged Sasha out of the bathroom.

The door shut and Josie was left there alone.

The first thing she did was walk over to the door and slam the lock shut. She couldn’t deal with something like that happening again. She was so stupid for leaving it unlocked in the first place.

She turned to look at herself in the mirror and she felt bile climb up her throat.

Dana was right. She was pathetic. What was she doing, out here pretending like she belonged? Even Hope was more at home here than her. Josie was an idiot. 

Why did she think that everything would be fine?

Josie wasn’t sure when she dropped to the ground, but the next thing that she noticed was that she was lying pressed against the cold tiles of the bathroom, crying her eyes out, and the music was still really loud.

Seriously, the beat made it seem like someone was banging on the door.

Wait. 

She focused a little harder and realised that someone was indeed banging on the door.

She sighed and dragged herself to her feet, hobbling over to open it up.

She should probably stop hogging the bathroom, plenty of other people would need to use it.

When she opened the door, she was expecting some random and annoyed person, someone who was probably going to yell at her for taking so long.

What she didn’t expect to see was a pair of concerned green eyes.

Penelope Park.

Well, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now I know that you are all excited for Posie to interact again, but next chapter isn't going to take place after this one. It's going to be a special chapter, one that I've been planning on doing for a while, and let me say, I think you guys are really going to like it! I'll let you guys go now, have a brilliant day!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyy guess who's back!!!  
> Okay so, here's the explanation. This past week was production week for a play that I was in, and I basically had to press pause on every other part of my life so I could focus on the play. Seriously, I had neither the time or the energy to write. But now, the play is over and it went amazingly, so I can go back to writing!!!  
> As I mentioned last update, this chapter is special. So, let me introduce you to The Penelope Chapter, where we get to see basically the entire fic up to last chapter, but through the eyes of one Penelope Park!! It is one of the longest chapters I've written for this fic, and I think you guys are really going to like it!!  
> Enjoy!

It had been a weird couple of days, even before Josie Saltzman surprise kissed her on the football field. 

First of all, Dana had broken up with her, claiming that she needed to ‘branch out’ and that they needed to ‘take a break’. It was all bullshit, and Penelope knew it. 

Penelope knew that Dana had definitely cheated on her already, and that hurt.

So, she had been sulking in her room, being overdramatic and texting Jed about how sad she was.

Looking back, Penelope had really known nothing about heartbreak.

Looking back, Penelope shouldn’t have cried a single tear for Dana.

When her mother had come upstairs and given her a letter from Josie Saltzman, Penelope had been confused.

She knew who Josie was, of course. Penelope had always sort of liked Josie, liked her quiet intelligence, her kindness, and Penelope had always hated Lizzie for treating Josie like she was nothing. 

Penelope would never tell anyone this, but the only reason why she’d started her war with Lizzie was because she’d seen Josie crying when Lizzie had yelled at her for something.

Penelope didn’t remember what it was, but at the time she’d absolutely hated seeing Josie looking sad, and had vowed to try and make it better.

She’d ended up making Josie sort of hate her, but that was irrelevant.

What mattered was that Penelope had a letter from Josie, and absolutely no context.

And then she’d read the letter, and the confusion had grown.

Because in this letter Josie admitted that she had a crush on Penelope, that she thought she had pretty green eyes, and a turtle smile, and Josie liked that Penelope had always tried to talk to her instead of Lizzie. 

Penelope had been really confused, because last time she’d checked, Josie still hated her.

So, Penelope had made it her mission to track down Josie, and find out what was happening, and in the process, let Josie down easy.

That hadn’t exactly ended well.

After Josie had sprinted away from her, Penelope’s mind was a mess. All she could think was,

1\. What the fuck

2\. Did Josie Saltzman just kiss her???

And

3\. Why was Josie such a good kisser?

+++

Their conversation at the diner had been sort of awesome. Penelope had never really spoken to Josie, and now suddenly they were wittily bantering with each other. 

Penelope had always known that Josie had fire in her, and honestly, Penelope wanted to see it all the time.

The idea to fake-date had been a spur of the moment thing. 

If you had asked Penelope what she was thinking, her only answer would be that she wasn’t really.

But once the idea was out in the world, she wasn’t exactly going to take it back, and hey, it wasn’t her worst plan.

Dana was a jealous person, Penelope would get to spend time with Josie, Penelope would get to annoy Lizzie, and Josie would be able to do whatever it was that she wanted to.

It was actually sort of brilliant. 

Penelope hadn’t expected Josie to agree, but when she had, she’d been thrilled.

The rules were sort of annoying, but Penelope let Josie make them, after all, Penelope wanted her to feel comfortable.

The no kissing rule was especially a bit of a bummer, as Penelope had really enjoyed kissing Josie, but it was probably for the best. 

Penelope couldn’t afford to get attached.

Except, attached is exactly what she became.

She really should have seen it coming. Josie was adorable, and every moment Penelope spent in her company, she felt like she wanted to be a better person.

She felt like she could be a better person.

+++

The whole party had been awesome, she knew that Josie would be fine, but it was towards the end where complications came up.

Penelope had been in the bathroom, when she’d heard the door open. She’d thought that it would be fine, until she looked up and saw her ex-girlfriend standing there smirking.

Dana had taken a few shots at Josie, and Penelope had of course defended her. For what was surprisingly the first time, Penelope thought that maybe Dana wasn’t worth it. 

Penelope had taken Josie to the diner to cool off, and had unexpectedly had a really deep conversation, and she found out a lot about Josie that she didn’t know before.

Penelope had surprised herself as well, sharing stories about her dad, showing Josie parts of herself that even Dana hadn’t seen.

If Penelope had to pick a specific moment when she first started falling for Josie, it was then, in that diner.

Although, falling for Josie was also a constant in Penelope’s life.

Penelope may have been falling for her from the first day they’d met.

But, all that aside, it was in that moment when she’d first realised it.

And when she’d comforted Josie in the car as Josie spilled out the secret about the lies she’d told, Penelope had promised herself that no matter what happened, she would never be the reason that Josie cried.

Penelope really wished that she’d been able to keep that promise. 

+++

For about a month after that night, Penelope had tried her best to hide her feelings for Josie. Tried to soften every serious moment with a joke, tried to hide her longing gazes, tried to convince Josie that she was just acting.

At least she didn’t have to try and convince the rest of the school. They were definitely not as oblivious as Josie. 

Landon and Jed gave her so much shit every single time they caught her staring or smiling when she talked about Josie. 

Even Hope was calling her out on her heart eyes. Penelope knew that Hope definitely suspected that Penelope had feelings, after all, Hope had been trying to get her to confess to liking Josie for like a year now.

Penelope had always been defensive about it, but now she actually had feelings to defend.

Although, Penelope could always turn the tables and call Hope out for having a crush on Lizzie. 

Honestly, how Josie hadn’t noticed her best friend hopelessly pining over her twin sister was a little surprising.

Speaking of Lizzie, one development that Penelope had been at least a little bit thankful for was her new truce with the blonde Saltzman.

Getting shovel talked by Lizzie had been actually kind of scary, not that she would ever admit that to anyone. It was extremely obvious that Lizzie cared deeply about Josie, and Penelope finally decided that it was time for their hatred to end.

Especially now that Josie was finding it easier to be in the light.

Penelope loved seeing Josie so open, so happy. Penelope loved that now everyone could see how amazing Josie really was.

It didn’t hurt that Penelope got to be standing by Josie’s side as she learned how to shine.

Penelope thought that everything would be fine. Dana was sufficiently pissed off, and sooner or later, she’d break. Josie was doing everything that she wanted, and Lizzie wasn’t mad at her.

And yes, Penelope had feelings for Josie, but she knew that nothing would ever come of them, besides, she still had feelings for Dana, and at the moment they were stronger.

Things got complicated when Penelope’s mother interfered.

+++

When Penelope had been with Dana, she’d managed to keep her mother out of it. While her mother had wanted to get to know Dana, Penelope had really not wanted that, due to the fact that Dana wasn’t exactly the type of girl you wanted to take home to your parents.

Dana was more of a ‘make out with in the backseat of your car’ type of girl and Penelope had been determined to stop them from meeting.

When Penelope was texting Josie and Hope one afternoon, her mother called her out, asking when she was going to meet the new person who was making Penelope so happy.

Penelope had tried to put up a fight, but it didn’t work.

And so, Penelope needed to ask Josie to come meet her mother.

Penelope wasn’t worried at all about what her mother was going to think of Josie.

Unlike Dana, Josie was exactly the type of person who Penelope’s mother would like. Josie got good grades, respected authority figures, and didn’t get Penelope to skip class so that they could make out and smoke weed under the bleachers.

The problem was, Penelope didn’t want to make Josie uncomfortable. Josie had established her boundaries very clearly. Whenever they got too close, usually Josie would be the first on to pull away.

Penelope would always let her, would always pretend like everything was fine, and would change the conversation.

So, Penelope was unsure about how Josie would react to the news that Penelope wanted her to meet her mother.

Surprisingly, once Josie got over the shock of being asked, she was weirdly confident about it.

When Josie kissed her on the cheek and strode away looking like she owned the school, Penelope nearly collapsed.

She’d always thought Josie was cute, but she often forgot that Josie could be hot as well.

+++

When Josie invited Penelope over to work on homework, Penelope was excited to say the least. 

She’d never actually been inside of Josie’s room before that moment, so when she entered, she took a moment to take it all in. 

It was like a physical representation of Josie’s personality. 

The soft purple walls, the fairy lights, the posters of movies and singers that Josie had mentioned to Penelope, the pictures of Josie with Lizzie, or Rafael, or Hope, all of it.

Josie had blushed and apologised for the room. Penelope had been so confused. Why was Josie so self-conscious about her room when it was so beautiful?

Why was Josie so self-conscious about who she was, when every part of her was beautiful?

That afternoon, and night really, Penelope found herself falling even further for Josie.

Josie played her a song, one that she'd written herself. She didn't look at Penelope the whole time, and sometimes her voice would get quiet, or she'd miss a note, but Penelope loved every moment of it.

That afternoon, singing along to The Greatest Showman, getting to hold Josie, and play with her hair, or trace patterns across her hand, while Pedro kept rolling his eyes at them and making fake disgusted noises, was about the happiest Penelope had been in a long time.

When Josie started singing along to one of the songs, Penelope felt like she was hearing what heaven must sound like.

Josie’s voice was so beautiful, and Penelope had never felt like she did when Josie turned to smile bashfully at her when the song finished.

She felt at home.

That was something Dana had never made her feel.

Dana had made her happy, had made her feel warm, had made Penelope feel like she was in love, like she was loved in return, but Dana had never made her feel at home.

That night was the first time that Penelope realised that it didn’t matter whether this plan worked or not. 

Because she didn’t want Dana any more.

All she wanted was Josie.

Just before Penelope left that night, she swore that Josie was going to kiss her.

She’d imagined kissing Josie a lot, but never before had she imagined that it was going to happen.

Never had she wanted it so badly.

+++

It all started going wrong after the dinner at Penelope’s house.

The dinner itself was a success. Josie was the perfect girlfriend, answering all the questions thrown at her, ignoring how high Jed obviously was, even being able to stay stable after Penelope’s mum accidentally brought up Josie’s dead mother.

Penelope had specifically mentioned not to bring it up, but her mother had a habit of forgetting important things.

Even the conversation that Penelope had with Josie after the dinner as they cleaned up was fine. 

Penelope had never actually talked about her dad leaving with anyone really. 

Jed knew, of course, she’d ran over to his house sobbing the moment she discovered what had happened, and he’d been the one to glare at everyone who came near her for the next week, but Jed had never been very good to talk about emotions with.

Dana knew, because Penelope had brought it up one time when they were smoking together, subconsciously hoping that Dana would want to talk about it, but Dana had just shrugged it off.

“Loads of kids have shitty parents. From what I can see, you’re handling it better than most.”

Josie hadn’t dismissed her like that. Josie had heard her, heard what she wasn’t saying, and had just been there for her, had comforted her through it all.

And then Josie had looked her in the eyes, and had told Penelope that she trusted her.

That was probably the first time anyone had ever told Penelope that and had really meant it.

It was funny. Penelope had thought that she had had all the firsts that it was possible to have as a teenager.

First kiss. First girlfriend. First time smoking weed. First time drinking alcohol. First time having sex. First time being in love.

But now with Josie, she was having firsts that she didn’t even know it was possible to have.

First time being trusted by the person she was with. First time that her mum had liked a person that Penelope was with. First time that Penelope really wanted a relationship, not just the physical stuff. 

First time that Penelope learnt what it was like to love someone who didn’t love you back.

Because Josie didn't love her back.

Because Penelope made a joke in the car on the way home, and Josie freaked out. 

Because no matter how notes Penelope gave Josie, with words of love on them, Josie never read any of them.

Josie didn’t like her. Josie liked having the opportunity to be free. Josie liked having someone to talk to who wasn’t Hope or her sister.

Josie didn’t like Penelope. Not the way that Penelope liked her.

Penelope was in too deep though. She couldn’t just stop loving Josie. 

Loving Josie was one of the hardest and easiest things in the world. 

+++

Josie started pulling away, and as much as it hurt, Penelope let her.

In the long run, it would probably be better. Better that Penelope got distance from Josie, learnt how to survive without Josie before she was completely gone.

Penelope wondered how she’d ever existed before Josie. She wondered how she’d ever thought that Dana was the one for her. Because Josie completed her in ways so subtle and so magnificent that Penelope was starstruck.

When Dana pulled Penelope aside for a talk one day, Penelope wondered when she’d stopped feeling warmth wherever Dana touched her, wondered when her name falling from Dana’s lips stopped being her favourite sound. 

Dana wanted Penelope back. Even if Dana danced around actually saying that, even if she just vaguely implied it, Penelope knew Dana. She knew how to tell that Dana wanted something.

Dana wanted to go with her on the ski trip. Penelope remembered the trip last year. She hadn’t regretted anything that she did at the time, and to be fair, she still didn’t. 

She had loved Dana. And if her first time was going to be with someone, she was glad that it had been with someone that she loved.

Now though, the only person who she wanted was Josie. She wanted to spend the trip with Josie. And funnily enough, she didn’t care if Josie didn’t want to do anything physical, or even if Josie didn’t like her back.

She just wanted to spend time with Josie.

+++

When she saw Josie with Rafael, a part of herself that she’d always disliked sprung up. The jealous monster that lived inside of her rose up, and all she could think about was the fact that Rafael was making Josie laugh, and Penelope hadn’t heard that sound in what felt like forever.

Penelope didn’t even try to hide how bothered she was. Some part of her thought that maybe Josie would finally realise that Penelope liked her. Maybe Josie would do something about it.

But no.

Josie had overheard the conversation between Dana and Penelope. Josie heard everything, and she wanted to break off their deal.

And even though Penelope had spent the past few weeks telling herself that this was inevitable, she wasn’t ready for it to end just yet. 

She couldn’t lose Josie just yet.

She tried her best to convince Josie to come on the ski trip with her, all she wanted was those last few days, and then she would let Josie go.

Josie pulled out her deal; she’d go if Hope went, so Penelope immediately texted Hope.

**Penelope: hope**

**Penelope: idiot**

**Penelope: bisexual with a crush on Elizabeth Saltzman**

**Hoe Mikealson: I hate you**

**Penelope: omg it worked**

**Hoe Mikealson: I hate you x2**

**Penelope: I need a favour**

**Penelope: Josie is mad at me and she said that she won’t come on the ski trip with me unless you go**

**Hoe Mikealson: HA**

**Hoe Mikealson: yeah im not going**

**Penelope: Hope please**

Penelope knew that Hope would be resistant to Penelope’s request, after all, Hope had definitely been listening to Josie talking about Penelope.

What Penelope didn’t expect was for Hope to know how Penelope was feeling.

**Hoe Mikealson: why is it so important to you anyways**

**Hoe Mikealson: just go with dana and hook up with her like you’ve been planning to this entire time**

**Hoe Mikealson: unless of course the plan changed**

**Penelope: wdym**

**Hoe Mikealson: Im not going unless you admit why you want me to go**

**Penelope: I want you to go so Josie goes**

**Hoe Mikealson: and why do you want Josie to go**

**Penelope: because she’s my (fake)girlfriend and I need to keep the plan intact**

**Hoe Mikealson: you are such an idiot**

**Penelope: hope what do you want from me**

**Hoe Mikealson: the truth**

**Hoe Mikealson: I can wait**

Penelope had always thought of herself as a strong willed and intelligent person. 

That was until she’d met Hope Mikealson, of course. 

Because Hope was twice as stubborn as Penelope, and she had a knack for knowing when someone was lying.

Penelope found herself lying on her bed at 2 in the morning, desperate to talk to someone because she had way too many feelings about Josie.

And so, she finally admitted the thing that she’d been hiding for what felt like forever. 

**Penelope: hey**

**Hope: dude its 2am**

**Penelope: I know but I really need your help**

**Penelope: it’s about Josie**

**Penelope: I like her**

**Penelope: I have actual genuine feelings for josie**

**Penelope: what the fuck hope I hate this**

**Hoe Mikealson: well first of all, congrats, ive known for at least a year**

**Hoe Mikealson: second of all, why is this bad**

**Penelope: because im a piece of shit and Josie will never like me back**

**Hoe Mikealson: hey what do we say about self-deprecating comments**

**Penelope: even if she does like me back, which she doesn’t, she deserves way better than me, im just going to hurt her**

**Hoe Mikealson: you aren’t going to hurt her**

**Penelope: we both know that Josie has a lot of issues that she doesn’t talk about**

**Penelope: and we both know that I handle everything in the worst possible way**

**Penelope: how will this end well**

**Penelope: besides, she probably already hates me because of the fact that I’ve literally been using her to make my ex jealous**

**Hoe Mikealson: yeah okay that’s probably not a good idea**

**Hoe Mikealson: hey so does this mean that you’re over dana**

**Penelope: oh yeah definitely, I’ve been over Dana for like the past month**

**Hoe Mikealson: and im assuming josie doesn’t know this**

**Penelope: no are you crazy, then she’ll want to call off the plan even more**

**Penelope: and if I keep the plan, then at least I get to keep her in my life for just a little bit longer**

**Hoe Mikealson: Penelope maybe you should talk to her**

**Penelope: no, I should just text her and say that she doesn’t have to come, who am I kidding, this whole thing is a mess**

**Penelope: she doesn’t want me, and I shouldn’t fool myself**

**Hoe Mikealson: im coming on the ski trip**

**Penelope: what**

**Penelope: why**

**Hoe Mikealson: well, I just found out that Lizzie is going and considering the mad flirting vibes we’ve been having for the past few weeks, I want to make my move**

**Hoe Mikealson: because Im tired of being scared because fear sucks**

**Penelope: dude im happy for you**

**Hoe Mikealson: and if I go, Josie goes**

**Hoe Mikealson: and that means you get a chance too**

**Penelope: I don’t want to force my feelings on her, I just want to spend just a few more days with Josie**

**Hoe Mikealson: Penelope I promise you; you won’t be forcing anything on her**

**Hoe Mikealson: just try**

**Hoe Mikealson: if I, the loner of the school who never lets anyone in ever, can decide to make a move on the girl she likes, Penelope Park, flirting extraordinaire can too**

Penelope imagined for a moment, telling Josie how she feels. Imagined telling Josie how she made Penelope feel at home, how Josie listened to her like no one ever had, how just by being in the same room she made Penelope happier.

For a moment, she imagined Josie feeling the same way.

But then she remembered all the times Josie had pushed her away. She remembered all the crumpled notes and the times Josie had refused to hang out.

Josie didn’t like her back.

Penelope just had to deal with that.

She couldn’t push her feelings onto Josie.

She would just have to deal with that.

**Penelope: I don’t think I can**

**Penelope: but I’ll go, and if I can, I’ll spend every moment by her side.**

**Hoe Mikealson: u r so dramatic**

**Penelope: thanks**

**Hoe Mikealson: but okay**

**Penelope: it’s just the way it has to be**

**Hoe Mikealson: If that’s what you choose, I’ll let you choose that**

**Penelope: thank you**

**Hoe Mikealson: k Im going bac to sleep**

**Hoe Mikealson: night u pining loser**

**Penelope: night hoe**

**Hoe Mikealson: I resent that**

+++

The ski trip was a rollercoaster of emotions for Penelope.

First, the news that Dana had split with Connor was spreading like wildfire. Which meant that Penelope was bracing herself for Dana desperately trying to get back together.

Second, Josie didn’t sit next to Penelope on the bus.

If Penelope didn’t have confirmation that Josie didn’t like her before, it was there now.

So, Penelope sat next to Dana, and she endured her blatant flirting for the better part of four hours.

Penelope nearly snapped, nearly pushed away Dana’s hands, screamed at her ‘how stupid can you be to still think that I want you’.

But she didn’t.

She let Dana flirt with her, and a few times, she flirted back.

Because well, maybe Penelope was selfish. And maybe she just liked the feeling of someone wanting her. Even if she didn’t care about them back.

She wondered if that was how Josie felt about her.

+++

Hope roomed with her, claiming that she didn’t want Penelope to be stuck with any of the ‘vapid bitches’ in their year. 

Penelope just felt glad that at least Hope cared.

It was late in the afternoon when Jed pulled her out of her room to go have some ‘cousin bonding time’, which basically just meant them smoking weed and talking about their love lives.

Jed’s love life was a lot less complicated than Penelope’s. He was apparently seeing this new girl and he was pretty sure that they were going to hook up on the trip.

Penelope wished that she was able to even hope that she’d get to see Josie.

Jed thought that she was moping about for no reason, that she just had to go to Josie and she just needed to talk.

Penelope knew better. As soon as they talked, it would be over.

Jed seemed to get that Penelope didn’t want to talk about Josie, so he just rambled on about his girl as they sat smoking weed.

The rest of the night was a little blurry. 

What she did remember though was that Josie found her.

She remembered Josie taking her back to her room.

She remembered telling Josie about how she’d always seen her.

Penelope didn’t know why she told Josie all of that. Maybe some part of her just wanted Josie to know that she was seen. Because she knew that was all Josie had ever wanted.

To be seen.

And even if Josie was breaking Penelope’s heart more and more every minute, Penelope just wanted Josie to be happy. 

+++

Penelope didn’t reach out to Josie in the morning. Mostly because she didn’t want to deal with Josie not texting her back.

Wow, she was pathetic when it came to Josie.

She ended up in the hot tub that night, just sitting there, listening to sad music and just enjoying the peace and quiet.

She didn’t think anyone would come out here.

She thought that she’d spend the rest of the night alone.

She wasn’t counting on Josie.

When Josie came out and started talking to her, Penelope wanted to just ignore her.

And then Josie apologised, and Penelope just couldn’t stop herself from sarcastically asking Josie what she was sorry for specifically.

When Josie told Penelope that she thought that Penelope would be happy sitting next to Dana, Penelope finally decided to say fuck it, to tell Josie as much of the truth as she could without breaking down.

Josie kept apologising, and Penelope decided it was time to end this charade. She couldn’t go on making Josie feel bad for things that were out of her control.

Penelope thought that Josie would agree to break up, and then Penelope could be left in peace.

But as always, Josie was unpredictable. 

Josie climbed into the hot tub.

And Josie told her that she had feelings for Penelope, told her that she didn’t want to break up, that she thought she was in love with Penelope.

In hindsight, Penelope should have shared her feelings too, should have let everything out.

But Josie was right there, her lips were so close to Penelope’s, and every place that Josie was touching Penelope felt like it was on fire.

And Josie had told her things that Penelope never thought could be possible.

Josie wanted her, and Penelope couldn't hold herself back any longer.

So, Penelope leaned in, and she did the thing that she’d been wanting to do for so very long. 

When she kissed Josie, she felt like she was coming home. She felt whole, like a part of her that she’d never known was missing had been put back into place.

Josie kissed Penelope like she was on fire and her lips were her only chance at salvation.

Penelope kissed Josie like she was drowning and her lips were her only chance to breathe.

Penelope was happy. All she could feel, all she could taste, all she could see was Josie.

Josie asked her if this was real, and Penelope told her that all she wanted was Josie.

She should have composed poems about Josie, told her how every moment she’d spent with Josie felt like the best moment of her life.

She should have told Josie that she was in love with her.

But she didn't.

That was her first mistake.

+++

Her second mistake was going to Dana’s room.

She should have pulled Josie back, should have held her the whole night, stayed up telling her the story of how she’d fallen in love with her.

But she let Josie go, and she went to her ex’s room.

She didn’t have any sexual intent. She didn’t want to get back with Dana.

She wanted to look Dana in the eye and tell her that she didn’t need her, she wanted to tell Dana that they were over, that she loved Josie and that that wasn’t going to change.

And so, she did.

But Dana didn’t listen.

Dana insisted that Josie wasn’t good enough for her.

Dana insisted that no one could know Penelope that way that she did.

Dana insisted that Penelope was making a mistake.

And just as Penelope was going to leave, Dana pulled her in, and Dana kissed her.

Penelope would love to say that she pushed Dana away immediately, that no part of her leaned in.

But Penelope couldn’t lie to herself.

For one moment, she leaned in.

For one moment, she kissed Dana back.

And then she remembered Josie and how her lips felt like home.

And then everything felt very cold.

Everything felt very wrong.

Penelope would like to say that she screamed at Dana.

Told her to fuck off.

But she didn’t.

Instead she just left the room in silence, tears threatening to break free.

She went back outside, and sat on the edge of the hot tub until one in the morning, hoping and praying to whoever was listening that this didn’t change anything.

Hoped that in the morning she could still be with Josie. 

+++

She shouldn’t have been so distant towards Josie.

She shouldn’t have lied.

She should have told Josie all of her feelings.

She should have told Josie about the kiss, told her that it meant nothing, shown Josie that she loved her.

But she didn’t.

One moment her head was tucked into Josie’s neck, as she breathed in Josie’s perfume, and tried to feel that happiness that she’d had last night.

The next moment, Josie was looking at her with tears in her eyes, and harsh words on her tongue. 

Josie thought that Penelope was playing her.

Josie thought that Penelope only wanted physical things.

Josie thought that Penelope didn’t care.

Penelope wanted to scream, wanted to tell Josie everything. But Josie turned away and left Penelope standing alone by the bus.

Penelope couldn’t let this go.

So, she went to Josie’s house that night. 

It didn’t exactly go as planned.

Actually, it was sort of a shitfest.

It was obvious from moment one that Josie wasn’t going to listen to a single word that Penelope said.

Penelope still tried. 

All she knew was that she loved Josie and she wasn’t going to let that go without a fight.

She’d been ready to let Josie go because she thought that she didn’t have a chance. Now that she knew that there was a chance, she couldn’t just let it go by.

Penelope refused to leave, refused to give up, and that’s when things got bad.

Because of course, Rafael needed an excuse to play the hero.

He walked up to Josie and he put his hand on her arm, and the action was so domestic, and so full of care, that Penelope saw red.

Jealousy mingled with her insecurities about how Josie could never love someone like her and she snapped. 

Penelope accused Josie of not caring, of lying to her.

Penelope said some shitty things, acted like this whole thing was Josie’s fault.

In the moment, all she knew was that she’d already lost the battle, so she might as well abandon all hope of being with Josie.

She wished that she’d used softer words, that she hadn’t gotten so riled up, that she hadn’t started yelling.

Because maybe if she hadn’t been so loud, Lizzie wouldn’t have come outside.

Lizzie hadn’t known anything.

And suddenly she knew everything.

Suddenly all of Josie’s lies were unveiled, and Penelope watched the betrayal fill Lizzie’s eyes.

And then when Lizzie was gone, Penelope watched Josie’s eyes fill with the fire of hate.

Penelope tried to stop it, tried to apologise, but they were far past apologies.

Josie’s words cut into her.

Selfish.

Obnoxious.

Evil.

I hate you.

Penelope knew that Josie was hurting, knew that she should be selfless, that she should try her best to help Josie.

But she’d always been better at being selfish.

And right in that moment, Josie had given her a thousand reasons to go.

Penelope’s heart couldn’t take it anymore.

So, Penelope left.

But just before she did so, she threw some final words at Josie’s feet.

_I hate you so much for making me fall in love with you._

Penelope wished that she could say that the words were lies.

But she couldn’t.

+++

The past month had been hell.

Penelope had texted Josie 10 times.

**Penelope: Josie I’m so fucking sorry I got angry and jealous, call me and I’ll explain everything**

**Penelope: I didn’t go there to attack or accuse you, I let my feelings get out of hand**

**Penelope: I’m sorry**

**Penelope: Please just text me back, I want to explain everything, please I don’t want to lose you**

**Penelope: I went to Dana’s room to tell her that me and her were over for good. I told her that I loved you. She kissed me, and she tried to get me to stay with her. I left. Josie, I don’t want her.**

**Penelope: Josie, the only person I want is you, can’t you see that**

**Penelope: it’s like the notes all over again, I pour my heart out, and you can’t be bothered to see**

**Penelope: sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, that was wrong**

**Penelope: I’ll wait for you, for as long as you need, because I’m not giving up on this just yet**

**Penelope: Josie please.**

Josie didn’t read a single message that Penelope left.

In the end, Penelope just stopped trying.

But she couldn’t stop loving Josie.

She went Christmas shopping and bought a present for Josie, a bracelet that said _This world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning._

Penelope thought it summed up their relationship pretty well.

Penelope was selfish, Josie was selfless, but Penelope taught Josie to be selfish, and Josie taught Penelope to be selfless.

They kept each other balanced.

Penelope wondered what Josie would do if she ever gave it to her.

She’d probably shatter it just like she shattered Penelope’s heart.

+++

The video being released threw Penelope for a loop. 

While it may not have been Dana who took the video, she definitely was behind it being posted.

Penelope knew this, because she’d had a conversation with Dana earlier that day which resulted in Penelope telling her in no uncertain terms to just fuck off.

Obviously, Dana didn’t take the rejection well.

Penelope felt sick. 

She knew that right now Josie was probably freaking out. Everyone in school was going to see this. 

Penelope wanted to find every single person who commented something hurtful and rip their eyes out.

She wanted to text Josie again, but she didn’t.

Josie would find out anyway.

Instead, Penelope reported the account and blocked it immediately. 

She also blocked everyone who thought that they had a right to comment on Josie’s choices.

For what felt like the first time since all of the had begun, Penelope let herself truly break down. 

Tears streamed down her face as she hugged herself tightly, wishing that the pain would just go away. 

It didn’t.

The only thing that would make this pain go away was Josie.

And Penelope couldn’t have Josie.

Not anymore.

Not ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now we know Penelope's thought process throughout the entire fic. Is anyone surprised that she's basically just dramatic and gay?  
> The next chapter will continue on from the scene in the bathroom, just after Penelope has found Josie, but it will continue to be in Penelope's perspective. Hopefully, I can get back to my normal 3-5 day break in between chapters, but no promises, because I've got assignments to deal with as well.   
> In the meantime, please tell me what you thought about this chapter! Tell me if there were any bits that you really liked, or bits where you thought Penelope needed to just use her brain! I'd really like to hear your opinions!  
> See you soon hopefully!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait again, I had this one specific assignment that I needed to work on, and it made finding time to write really difficult. My holidays are coming up though, so hopefully, things get better then.   
> Before we start the chapter, I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments on the last chapter. Seriously, it was awesome to see that you liked the chapter as much as I hoped you would!  
> Now, it's time for some Soft Posie Angst.  
> Enjoy!

Penelope wasn’t planning on going to the New Year’s Party. She was planning on staying home with her mum, watching the fireworks on TV.

Kaleb and Jed had other plans, plans that involved her going.

She let herself be persuaded. After all, maybe a night at a place where the music was nearly too loud to think would do her some good.

When MG told her that Josie was going to be there, but that she didn’t want so see Penelope, Penelope immediately agreed.

Even if staying away would break her heart, talking to Josie would probably hurt more.

And even if she was going to face that pain eventually, she had to try and put it off.

So, she went. And she stayed in the corner, talking to whoever bothered to come her way. 

She saw Josie a few times.

Penelope wished that Josie looked happy. Wished that she didn’t look so tired, so on edge. 

As the clock was about an hour away from midnight, just as Penelope was considering that maybe she should just call it a night, she noticed Josie going into the bathroom. 

That didn’t alarm her.

What did alarm her, was Dana and Sasha following her.

What alarmed her even more was Dana and Sasha exiting with devilish smiles on their faces.

Something was wrong.

And maybe Penelope had promised to stay away, maybe Josie wasn’t hers to worry about anymore, but Penelope didn’t care.

She needed to know that Josie was okay.

Penelope knocked on the locked door a few times, calling out to Josie.

When Josie didn’t reply, she knocked harder, panic setting in.

They wouldn't have done anything to hurt her physically, right?

When the door finally swung open, Penelope was relieved.

The relief faded as she saw Josie’s face.

Penelope looked at Josie, and she felt her heart break. Josie’s eyes were red and bloodshot, and there was so much pain in them. The last time Penelope had seen Josie, at least there had been fire in her eyes.

Now there was nothing. 

Josie staggered back and Penelope followed her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her, making sure to lock it so that no one interfered.

Josie didn’t need any more people here right now.

Josie shook her head, and Penelope could see the panic overtaking her.

It hurt to know that she was at least a part of that pain. 

Penelope wished that she could erase the past month, go back to that night of the ski trip, and instead of going to Dana’s room like an idiot, convince Josie to stay with her, and spend the whole night making Josie laugh.

It felt like forever since she’d heard Josie laugh.

Josie shook her head again and fell to the ground, curling herself into a ball. 

Penelope reached out, trying to provide comfort to Josie, but Josie pushed her hand away.

“No.” she sobbed out, and Penelope stepped back, trying to give Josie room.

Josie's breathing was coming very fast, and she was visibly shaking.

It was clear that Josie was having a panic attack, but Penelope could also tell that she was very drunk.

She silently cursed herself for not texting MG or Landon and telling them to stop Josie from getting any more drinks.

She’d considered it, when she’d seen Josie get her third round, but had convinced herself that Josie didn’t need her interference anymore. 

That Josie didn’t want her help anymore.

That Josie didn’t want her anymore.

Josie suddenly moved, pulling herself up and over the toilet, almost too quick for Penelope to react.

But Penelope had been prepared for something like this happening, and she was able to pull back Josie’s hair in time to stop it falling in.

Penelope had always hated the sound of vomiting, and she hated it even more when she knew that it was someone that she cared about who was sick.

She didn’t know where the lines were, didn’t know how close she was allowed to be, but right now, that didn’t matter. Penelope cared about Josie and she was not going to just let her suffer.

She rubbed circles into Josie’s back, trying to provide any comfort that she could.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, with Josie bent over the toilet, shaking and throwing everything up while Penelope held her.

Eventually, Josie slid down and rested against the toilet. Penelope moved her hands out of Josie’s hair, and crouched in front of Josie.

Penelope tried to make eye contact with Josie, but Josie looked away.

Penelope felt like she was being stabbed. 

“You can leave now. You don’t have to stay. You don’t have to pretend like you care,” Josie said, and Penelope inwardly cringed at how slurred her words were. 

She knew that Josie probably meant a fair amount of that. Josie’s words from the day after the ski trip, and from outside Josie’s house still rung in her ears.

Penelope caught Josie’s gaze for a moment, and saw that Josie really believed that Penelope was going to leave. Penelope wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or to cry.

As if she could ever leave Josie when she looked like that.

“I’m not leaving you,” she said firmly.

Josie looked up at her.

“Didn’t MG tell you to leave me alone? Couldn’t you just do this one thing?” Josie spat out, a tear rolling down her cheek. 

Penelope looked down and replied quietly.

“I was leaving you alone. But then I saw Dana follow you into the bathroom, and I saw her leave looking like some sort of animal of prey. When you didn’t open the door immediately, I got worried. And well, looks like I had a reason to be.”

Josie didn’t say anything. She just looked down. 

Penelope wasn’t sure what to do. She knew that she needed to get Josie home, because there was no way that she was leaving Josie at this party when she was in a state like this.

But first, she needed to get Josie to not be actively hating her. 

Even if Josie was totally drunk, even if she would never remember this, she needed at least one version of Josie to not hate her.

Penelope reached out and brushed her hand across the back of Josie’s. Josie didn’t look up and she didn’t speak, so Penelope waited for a reaction.

Josie’s hand slowly moved, turning around and interlacing their fingers. Then she tugged on Penelope’s hand, pulling them closer.

Penelope let herself get pulled over so she was sitting next to Josie.

She didn’t know what Josie was feeling, didn’t know what she was thinking, all she knew was that right now, sitting here, holding Josie’s hand, was about the most at home she’d felt in weeks.

Wasn't that just so very fucked up?

Penelope sensed that Josie didn’t want her to say anything, so she just moved closer, and rubbed her thumb across the back of Josie’s hand.

Josie smiled, and even though there were still tears in her eyes, Penelope felt her heart warm.

She loved Josie’s smile so much.

She loved knowing that she could still make Josie smile.

Penelope watched as the smiled faded off of Josie’s face, and suddenly Josie pulled her hand away, wrapping her arms around her knees.

Penelope frowned, unsure of what she had done wrong.

“Josie, what’s wrong?”

Josie shook her head, and then through tears whispered out,

“I want to go home.”

Penelope looked at her for a moment, and then nodded.

“Okay.”

She stood up, and then held out her hand. Josie stared at her, confusion all over her features. Penelope had always thought she looked so cute when she was confused. 

Like when in Science she didn’t get something, her face would always scrunch up into a pout, and Penelope had always had to stop herself from kissing Josie.

“What are you doing?” Josie asked, blinking her eyes, as if that would clear away her tears.

“I’m taking you home.”

Josie shook her head.

“But you’re drunk.”

Penelope shook her head.

“I drove myself here, and I wasn’t planning on staying overnight. You on the other hand, are in absolutely no condition to be going anywhere by yourself. So, come with me, and I’ll get you home.”

Josie still resisted.

“But the video.”

Penelope felt anger rise in her chest, the same anger she’d felt earlier tonight when she’d realised that Dana had done something to Josie.

The horror she’d felt when she first saw the video came racing back.

She remembered texting Dana so many times, asking her if she was the one who’d posted it, telling her that if she was, Penelope was going to kill her.

She clenched her fist and her jaw, looking away from Josie as if she could somehow hide the pure hatred in her eyes. She knew it was stupid, but she didn't want Josie to see her with that look in her eyes.

“If I ever find the person who took that video,” she muttered, not finishing her sentence, and instead staring at the wall.

No.

Now was not the time to focus on the video. She needed to focus on Josie.

Penelope shook her head and turned back to Josie.

“It’s really shitty that someone did that. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that no one else tries anything. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you Josie.” She paused, swallowing, and then said in a low voice, “Especially not me.”

Penelope remembered the look on Josie’s face as she’d realised what Penelope had done. She remembered the tears in Josie’s eyes, the way her voice cracked as she told Penelope that they were over.

She remembered the broken anger, the look like shattered glass in Josie’s eyes on that night, the way she’d spat out her words, as if she wanted to physically wound Penelope with them.

Penelope had once promised herself that she was never going to break Josie Saltzman’s heart. She remembered how angry she’d been at herself when she realised that she’d broken her promise.

And over this past month, Penelope had realised the harsh and cold truth.

She didn’t deserve Josie Saltzman’s heart.

Josie was far too good of a person for Penelope. Penelope was the queen of heartbreaks; Josie was sunshine personified.

As much as it would hurt Penelope, she couldn’t be with Josie. 

Not after she’d seen firsthand the type of pain she could cause Josie.

Josie pouted at the floor.

“People are going to stare. They’re all gonna say that I’m a slut, that you just want to fuck me again.”

Penelope shook her head, trying to fight the anger she felt at Josie’s words. She hated that Josie had had to deal with that.

Hated that there were so many people at this school who were intent on tearing away other’s happiness.

Hated that Josie probably thought that what they said was true.

Hated that Josie thought that she was nothing other than a toy to her.

“You shouldn’t care about what they think. They’re all idiots, and you deserve far better than their bullshit.”

“Dana said that you went to her because I wasn’t good enough for you. Because I didn’t know what I was doing, and you wanted someone more experienced.”

Penelope made a noise that sounded like an actual genuine growl. 

Fucking Dana. Honestly, Penelope hated herself for ever thinking that she was a good person. 

How dare she prey on Josie’s insecurities like that?

Penelope was going to need to do something about Dana, she was way out of line.

“I’m actually going to kill her.”

Josie looked at her with surprise and mumbled,

“I thought she was your girlfriend.”

Penelope felt physically sick when she heard Josie say that.

“What? No! No, she’s a horrible bitch of a person, and honestly I’m ashamed that I ever cared about her.”

Josie shook her head and Penelope saw her eyes fill with tears again.

Josie rose to her feet, using the wall to steady herself. Penelope reached out to help her, and Josie just looked at her.

“But you kissed her.”

Penelope sighed and ran her hand along Josie's arm. She should never have gone to Dana’s room that night. She should never have given Dana the chance to hurt Josie like this.

“Now isn’t the time to be talking about this, okay? As much as I want to tell you everything, you need to go home, okay?”

Josie shoved at her chest, frustrated. Penelope didn’t move.

“You kissed her,” she said again.

Penelope sighed again and was silent for a moment.

Well, Josie was going to forget this in the morning, but if she was going to give Penelope an opening to explain, Penelope needed to take it.

Especially since Josie wasn’t answering her texts.

“We kissed, but not because I wanted to. She kissed me and I told her that no, I didn’t want her. She told me that you weren’t good enough for me, and I told her that she was wrong, if anything, I wasn’t good enough for you. I lied because I was scared that I was going to lose you. It was stupid, I should have told you, and I know that’s no excuse, but I will be forever sorry for hurting you like that.”

Josie nodded but the tears stayed in her eyes.

“What is it Josie?” 

Penelope knew that she should be annoyed with Josie for being difficult, but she really wasn’t. She loved all of Josie, even the messy bits. 

She just wished she’d shown that to Josie.

She just wished Josie knew how much Penelope loved her.

“I was so awful to you," Josie finally sobbed out. 

Penelope smiled at her sadly, and then pulled Josie into a hug.

“You aren’t going to remember any of this, I know, but I need to say this.” She pushed Josie back and touched their foreheads together. She waited to make sure that Josie was paying full attention. 

“Yes, you hurt me. But I understand, and it’s okay. I see you, remember? I know how much you are hurting and I wish I’d never let this happen. Hear me when I say, you are strong, okay? You are amazing, and your heart is going to heal. Even if it’s not with me, you are going to be just fine.”

Even with tears blurring her vision, Penelope could see that Josie was crying as well.

Josie shook her head.

“But I want you,” Josie whimpered. Penelope smiled sadly.

“I want you too. But I don’t know if that’s the best idea. So far, all I’ve done is hurt you. Even if you don’t understand why I’ve done all of this, one day you will. Okay?”

Josie shook her head, and Penelope laughed despite herself.

This was really not how she was planning on spending her New Year’s Eve.

But here she was, crying in a bathroom with her ex-girlfriend, telling her that even though Penelope loved her, they couldn’t be together.

Penelope hated this.

She reached out and took Josie’s hands. 

As she uttered her next words, she thought of all the times she had done so in the past.

She thought of how much everything had changed.

“Do you trust me?”

Penelope expected Josie to hesitate. She was even prepared for Josie to say no.

She didn’t expect Josie to answer without missing a beat.

“Always.”

Penelope smiled through the tears.

“Then let me take you home.”

+++

Penelope was violently aware of all the people looking at them as they exited the bathroom.

She understood why they were staring. Josie's eyes were red, and the tears stains were very obvious. Penelope was basically holding her upright.

She could almost hear the whispers.

The people who thought the deserved to know everything about Josie and Penelope’s lives.

The people who had nothing but hate to spew, the people probably making jokes about how Penelope was taking Josie home to sleep with her, even though Josie was in no condition to give any form of consent.

Because that was the type of person they thought she was.

She’d heard the whispers before.

She tried not to be fazed.

She was the heartbreak princess after all.

It still stung. 

She still hated the person that everyone saw her as. 

Josie had seen past that persona. Josie had seen the real her.

Penelope was a few steps out the front door of Kaleb's house when a voice called out.

“Penelope!”

She turned around to see MG, followed by Landon.

Josie tugged herself behind Penelope, childishly trying to hide.

Penelope smiled wearily at the two boys.

“She’s drunk, I’m gonna take her home. Can one of you let Hope or Lizzie or whoever it was that brought her here know where she’s gone?”

MG nodded.

“Will do. Last I checked though, they’re making out in the backyard, so that might have to wait a bit.”

Penelope chuckled. She was happy for Hope, she’d finally gotten the girl. 

She just wished that she’d had the same luck.

“I’ll text Hope as well.”

MG nodded and headed back inside.

Landon stayed for a moment.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

Penelope just shrugged.

“I will be once she’s home safe.”

He smiled at her and then headed after MG.

Penelope turned back to Josie.

“They’re gone now, it’s okay,” she told her. 

Josie nodded.

“I’m tired, I want to go home.” To emphasise her point, she buried her head into Penelope’s neck.

Even though she was taller, Josie felt so much smaller right now.

Penelope placed her hand on Josie’s back and rubbed it.

“Come on, let’s get you into the car.”

+++

Driving a drunk and post breakdown Josie home was something of an experience.

Josie wanted the music on, but she could not decide on what volume she wanted. She kept alternating between turning it up so loud that Penelope’s head hurt, or making it so quiet that you could barely hear it.

After two minutes or so of Josie changing the volume, Penelope took Josie’s hand and pulled it down.

“Jojo, I’m going to need you to stop that.”

Josie pouted and Penelope sighed.

“You know, if you ever start talking to me sober again, I’m going to hold the fact that you act like a five-year-old when you’re drunk over your head forever.”

Josie frowned.

Penelope thought that maybe their interaction was over, but after a moment, Josie said in a melancholy tone,

“I miss talking to you.”

Penelope smiled sadly.

“Me too.”

Josie squeezed her hand.

“Can you promise me something?”

Penelope nodded. She knew that Josie was going to ask something impossible, but it didn’t matter.

This wouldn’t matter in the morning. 

Josie waited for a moment, probably trying to string words together.

“Can you promise you that you’ll talk to me? That we can try to be okay? To be friends at least?”

“Okay,” Penelope lied. 

She wasn’t going to talk to Josie. Because in the morning, Josie wouldn’t remember this Penelope. She wouldn’t remember Penelope telling her the truth. 

She’d just remember the heartbreak. She’d just remember the pain. 

Penelope already knew what she had to do.

She had to push Josie away.

Because in the end, Josie was far too good for her. Josie deserved better than the heartbreak she’d eventually go through again when Penelope fucked up again.

Josie didn’t like people leaving. Josie struggled with not being good enough.

Penelope was the same. 

Right now, Penelope had already left. Josie had already dealt with that pain. She’d heal and eventually she’d find someone who treated her the way she deserved, someone who didn’t make mistakes that broke hearts.

Someone who made Josie feel good about herself without even trying.

And, most importantly, Josie needed to find a way to be herself, to shine, without Penelope by her side.

Penelope would watch from the sidelines, maybe pulling a few strings if the situation called for it. She could live with that. 

Even if it hurt her, at least Josie would be happy. 

She looked over at Josie in the passenger seat. She was already half asleep.

Penelope smiled.

+++

Penelope had to basically carry Josie to the door.

When Dr Saltzman opened up, Penelope immediately went into explaining what happened.

He helped her bring Josie onto the couch in the living room, as she recounted everything.

When she was done, and Josie was curled in a ball on the couch, the small pout on her face lit by the light on the TV, Penelope made to leave, but Dr Saltzman called out softly.

“Penelope, wait.”

She turned back, expecting him to tell her something along the lines of ‘never go near my daughter again’. 

But he just smiled sadly.

“You know, she’s miserable without you.”

Penelope nodded.

“I know. I’m miserable too.”

“So, why not talk to her?”

“She hates me. She’s blocked my number, and the fact that she told MG to tell me to stay away at the party shows that she doesn’t want to see me. I hurt her. It’s best if I stay away.”

He sighed.

“You teenagers and your dramatics.”

Penelope just shrugged.

“For what it’s worth, I still think she cares about you," he told her.

“I know. That’s what scares me," Penelope answered honestly.

She didn't know why she was telling the truth to Dr Saltzman, but she got the feeling that he understood. 

The announcer on the TV yelled suddenly,

“Happy New Year Folks!”

Josie curled further into herself at the noise, scrunching her face up.

Penelope smiled, and couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss her softly on the forehead.

“Happy New Year Jojo.”

She turned to leave.

“Goodbye Dr Saltzman.”

He nodded at her.

Penelope headed to her car, and jumped in.

She waited for a moment, trying to collect herself, when she had a thought.

She opened the glove box and saw that her Christmas present for Josie was still there.

Penelope turned to look up at the house again.

Even if she had to let Josie go, the least she could do was give her something to remember them by. Something so that she could remember the good times.

Even if Josie threw it out, or never wore it, at least she would know that Penelope had cared.

Despite what she knew in her heart, the selfish part of Penelope needed Josie to know that Penelope still loved her.

Needed Josie to remember that she was worthy of love, because Penelope knew Josie. And she knew that Josie would forget. 

Penelope jogged back up to the house and knocked on the door.

Dr Saltzman opened it again.

Before he could say anything, she held out the present.

“It’s for Josie.”

He took the package from her and nodded.

“You’re a good kid.” 

She shrugged and jogged back to the car, giving the house one last look.

“Goodbye Josie,” she whispered, before driving off into the night.

+++

It was the night before school and Penelope couldn’t sleep.

She just couldn’t get the image of Josie’s tearstained face out of her head.

She couldn’t stop hearing all of those whispers.

She needed to do something.

Penelope couldn’t just stand by and let Josie get attacked by the vicious assholes who ran the school.

An idea occurred to her.

She had plenty of blackmail material that she'd been building up recently, just in case an emergency came along.

This counted as an emergency.

Penelope had told herself that she'd stay out of Josie's way, that she'd just pull strings from the sidelines.

This counted as pulling strings from the sidelines.

A wicked grin slowly found its way onto her face.

Oh, this would be good.

Still grinning, she opened up her messages.

She wrote down everything, including all the screenshots and evidence she would need to back up her point.

When she was done, she sat back and admired her work for a moment.

Then, with a satisfied smile, she pressed send.

**If you are reading this, congratulations, you are a grade A asshole.**

**This message is about Josie Saltzman and the recent video that featured me and her in a hot tub.**

**At the New Year’s Party, some people stepped out of line.**

**So, here’s my official warning.**

**If any of you says anything bad about Josie, I will find out.**

**If I hear a single comment about her being a slut, or about her being ‘another one of Penelope Park’s whores’ I will hear about it.**

**If you even so much as dare to look at her the wrong way, I will see it.**

**I know every dirty little secret that you all have. If anyone does anything to hurt Josie in any way, I will not hesitate to release those secrets.**

**You think I’m kidding?**

**Dana stepped out of line.**

**Here are the screenshots of a conversation between her and Jake Arthur, who you all know is Sasha’s boyfriend. She’s been secretly having a fling with him these holidays behind Sasha’s back.**

**Sasha also stepped out of line.**

**Here’s an audio recording of her admitting to giving Daniel Jones a blowjob in the school change rooms, while she was still dating Jake.**

**I would suggest not testing me.**

**I have plenty more secrets to spread.**

**Lots of Love**

**Penelope Park.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's one way to handle things.  
> I hope you guys liked this chapter, next time we'll see Josie the morning after the party, and we'll see what she does and doesn't remember!  
> Thank you so much for reading, and if you liked it, please leave a comment telling me what it was that you liked specifically!  
> Have a great day, and I'll see you next time!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and so is Josie's perspective! I'm so glad that everyone enjoyed seeing things through Penelope's eyes, it was really fun to write as Penelope! Now we get to see the aftermath of the party!  
> Enjoy!

When Josie woke up on New Year’s Day, her first thought was that she was never ever drinking again.

She felt like pure shit.

Her head was pounding, and her vision was swimming, and she could barely remember her own name. 

Her stomach twisted, and she heaved herself to her feet, stumbling over to the bathroom.

After throwing up in the toilet a few times, she became aware of her surroundings.

It was morning, she was in her own house, and she had no recollection of the past night.

That last realisation hit her with a jolt.

She racked her brain, but all she could come up with was vague flashes. Landon singing, MG laughing, Dana smirking at her, crying on a bathroom floor, Penelope.

Josie blinked.

Wait, Penelope?

Shit. 

She’d interacted with Penelope last night.

And she had no idea what she’d done or said.

Josie groaned and fell back against the tiles on the floor.

As she lay there, contemplating whether she should just melt into the floor, the bathroom door opened.

She looked up to see Pedro and her father.

Pedro wrinkled his nose.

“You look like shit.”

Josie’s dad didn’t even react to Pedro’s swearing.

He just looked at her with a furrow in his brow.

Shit.

+++

While Josie's dad was mad at her for getting blackout drunk at a party, he was more worried about how she was feeling.

He gave her a glass filled with a questionable liquid in it, and when she gave him a confused look he said grimly,

“It’ll taste like hell, but you’ll feel better.”

He wasn’t wrong.

When she had finished the disgusting drink, he began his lecture.

“Josie, I’m actually very disappointed in you. You know that you shouldn’t drink too much, you promised that you would be safe, and then you turn up passed out at midnight. I expect better from you.”

Josie sighed and pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes.

Her dad was right. She shouldn’t have had so much to drink. She’d seen how Lizzie acted when she was drunk, she should have known better.

She nodded.

“I’m sorry dad, I wasn’t thinking. I was just having a bad night and I thought that I’d be okay.”

He sighed.

“That’s alright sweetie, I know that you've been having a rough time, but as a consequence, you aren’t going to anymore parties for the next two months.”

Josie nodded, glad that the punishment wasn’t too severe.

She probably wouldn’t want to go to any parties anyway.

“So, what do you know about what happened last night? Because I barely remember anything.”

He frowned.

“Penelope brought you home, said that you had too much to drink, and that some girls said some bad stuff to you.”

Josie nearly choked on her own spit.

Penelope brought her home?

How on earth had that ended up happening?

Josie had a flash of Dana and Sasha laughing at her and grimaced.

“So, did Penelope say anything else?”

He looked hesitant, but when she stared at him, waiting for an answer, he relented.

“She misses you.”

Josie wanted to smack her head into the table.

Fucking Penelope Park. Of course, she’d say something like that.

Josie really wished she could remember the past night’s conversation with Penelope. She hoped at least that her past self had the good sense to have yelled at Penelope for being a bitch.

“Well she should have thought about that before she made out with her ex.”

Her dad frowned, but said nothing else.

Josie pulled out her phone to check her messages.

**Wonder Woman: Okay, Penelope texted me saying that she took you home.**

**Wonder Woman: What the fuck happened??**

**Wonder Woman: Penelope won’t tell me shit**

**Sister Dearest: JOSIE WHAT THE FUCK**

**Sister Dearest: DAD TEXTED ME SAYING THAT YOU TURNED UP AT THE HOUSE PASSED OUT, AFTER BEING DROPPED OFF BY PENLOPE PARK, WHAT HAPPENED**

**Sister Dearest: PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU’RE OKAY**

Josie smiled.

Both messages were timestamped at the same time last night.

She looked up.

"Where's Lizzie?"

Her dad cleared his throat.

"She's uh...well, she stayed the night with Hope."

Well that was a plot twist.

Knowing Lizzie and Hope, they definitely didn’t do nothing.

Josie decided to text their group chat instead of going to the trouble of texting them back individually.

**Josie: I’m fine now guys, I got home safely, but I will tell you about what I remember when you come over**

**Sister Dearest: Omg I’m so glad that you’re okay, and I’m so sorry for not paying attention to where you were**

**Josie: It’s okay, you had other things to pay attention to**

**Wonder Woman: We’ll be over soon**

**Josie: good**

Josie stood to go get changed, but her dad called after her.

“Jo!” 

She turned to look at him, preparing for another lecture.

Instead, he pulled out a package and tossed it to her.

She frowned.

“I thought you already gave me all my presents.”

He smiled sadly at her.

“It’s not from me.”

He didn’t elaborate, so Josie turned and went upstairs with confusion.

She unwrapped it slowly, noticing that the present smelled familiar, like there was a perfume that she recognised on it.

When she opened it finally, she uncovered a bracelet.

She frowned.

What was going on?

She turned it around, inspecting it for any clues about who had given it to her.

It was silver, and there was something written on the inside.

It took her a moment to read it, but when she did, she felt her heart skip a beat.

It said _This world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning._

Josie knew exactly who had given this to her.

Penelope Park.

Josie wanted to throw the bracelet in the box under the bed where everything else was, she wanted to forget about it.

But at the same time, she was shaken by the words on the bracelet.

Selfish, that was one of the words Josie had used to describe Penelope in their argument.

Selfless, that was a word that Penelope had called Josie once.

They’d been talking about Lizzie and Penelope had said jokingly, ‘well I guess you’re the selfless twin,’ and Josie had been struck by how true it felt.

Josie wanted to cry.

Penelope really knew how to affect her, didn’t she?

Josie put the bracelet on, and she let herself smile as she admired it.

It was really nice.

So, what did this mean about how she felt about Penelope?

Josie frowned.

She wasn’t going to think about that.

She couldn’t let herself think about that.

That would be opening way too many rabbit holes, and Josie couldn’t afford to get lost again.

She sighed.

She knew that she should just take the bracelet off, that having it would only lead to unwanted questions, but she couldn’t.

Deep down, she liked having a reminder of Penelope.

She liked pretending that she’d meant something to her.

+++

When Hope and Lizzie showed up, Josie was immediately tackled by both of them in a hug.

“Woah, guys, I said I was fine!”

Lizzie squeezed her tighter.

“But you could have not been.”

Josie smiled into her shoulder.

They pulled apart and Josie grinned at them as her gaze flicked across the two of them. They both had bags under their eyes, and their fingers were intertwined. 

Yeah, they definitely had sex.

“You look like you had a long night.”

Josie smiled as she noticed Hope violently avoiding eye contact.

“So, how was sleeping with each other?” Josie asked causally, watching for their reactions.

They did not disappoint.

Hope choked on air, going redder than Josie had ever seen her.

Lizzie slapped Josie’s arm.

“Jo!” She exclaimed, her voice an octave higher than usual.

Josie just laughed.

Hope was still avoiding her gaze, fiddling with her fingers, but Josie noticed a smile growing on her face.

“Well actually, it was rather nice. I have to say, your sister is great in bed."

It was Josie’s turn to choke on air, as she tried to shove any images that might form from those words out of her head.

Lizzie slapped Hope.

“What?” Hope asked innocently.

“You’re impossible.”

“That’s not what you said last night.”

Lizzie slapped her again.

Josie cleared her throat.

“Okay, if you two are done with the flirting, how about we go to my room and I can tell you the fun adventures that I remember.”

Lizzie nodded quickly, and pushed past Josie sprinting up the stairs.

Hope grinned at Josie.

“I can’t believe I got laid before you.”

Josie rolled her eyes and punched Hope lightly.

“Okay, can we maybe avoid you talking about having sex with my sister.”

Hope shrugged.

“You started it.”

Josie punched her again, harder this time.

“Ow!”

+++

Josie recounted how she remembered running into Dana and Sasha, and that she was pretty sure that they triggered her breakdown. When she mentioned Penelope, she tried to recall the contents of their conversation, but she couldn’t remember anything.

Hope sighed.

“I tried to get her to explain, but she refused to," Hope told them.

Lizzie folded her arms.

“If she tried to sleep with you I’m going to kill her.”

“She wouldn’t,” Hope and Josie replied at the same time.

Lizzie frowned.

“Well, I thought she wouldn’t break Josie’s heart, but look where that ended up.” Lizzie winced after she finished speaking.

“Sorry Jo, that was a bit harsh.”

Josie shrugged.

“I know. But I know her. Even if she hurt me really badly, I’m still pretty sure that the parts of her I saw were real. She wouldn’t doing anything to hurt me like that.”

Lizzie still looked unconvinced, so Hope chipped in.

“I’ve been sort of friends with Penelope for over a year now so believe me when I say that she wouldn’t do something like that. She’s a good person.”

Lizzie sighed, relenting.

“Okay. I’m still going to give her hell at school for putting you through all of this.”

Josie groaned and threw her head into her hands.

“Ugh, school.”

Lizzie patted her on the back.

“It’s going to be okay.”

Josie shook her head.

“Everyone is going to be so much worse. I’m going to be stared at and everyone is going to be talking about me.”

Hope sighed.

“Well, I’ll be by your side, and I know Landon and MG will be too. Rafael as well probably.”

“Don’t forget about me,” Lizzie said firmly, “Me and my girls will make sure that no one says anything about you.”

Josie looked and smiled thankfully at them.

“Thanks guys.”

Hope looked like she was about to say something, but then she looked away.

Josie frowned at her.

“What?”

Hope shook her head.

“It’s nothing.”

Lizzie turned to look at Hope, narrowing her eyes. Hope met her gaze, and Josie watched as they seemed to have a mental conversation.

Eventually, Lizzie sighed and looked back at Josie with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it. Besides, no one is going to be worrying about that when the school’s newest power couple is here.” To emphasise her point, Lizzie reached out an arm, and wrapped it around Hope, who made a fake disgusted look.

“Do I really have to go be paraded around the school?”

“No, but I will be taking plenty of candid photos of us and showering the dear people of this school with our beauty.”

Hope grimaced and looked at Josie.

“Okay, so, the plan is that we hide from everyone.”

Josie nodded, trying to force a serious look onto her face.

“Deal.”

Lizzie huffed. Hope and Josie kept eye contact for a moment before bursting into laughter. 

Lizzie joined in quickly, and soon they were all just lying on Josie’s floor, laughing about nothing.

Josie smiled. With these two by her side, school would be a piece of cake.

+++

The remaining week of holidays passed in what seemed like a blink, and suddenly it was the morning of school.

Josie was freaking out.

Josie was freaking out because she was going to have to deal with all the stares, and whispers, and the fact that she was going to be in the same space as Penelope Park, and she still didn’t know what had happened on that night of the party.

All she had was the bracelet, which she hadn’t taken off.

She’d spent the past week pushing away the millions of questions buzzing around her head, because complicating things was bad.

It didn't matter why Penelope had given her the bracelet, it didn't matter what Penelope felt about her, and it didn't matter what Josie felt about Penelope.

Lizzie on the other hand, was the most confident Josie had ever seen her before the first day of school.

She knew exactly what she planned to do, and she knew exactly how she planned to do it.

Lizzie was going to make it obvious that she was with Hope, she was going to death glare Penelope as much as she could, maybe even talk to her, even though Josie had begged her not to, and she was going to look amazing while doing.

That was what Lizzie had told Josie anyway.

Josie suspected that she was a little more of a mess underneath it all.

Just before Josie left the house, she picked up her present for Penelope. 

She’d wrapped it and put it in a little box. 

There was no name, but Josie hoped that Penelope would know that it was Josie.

Josie ran her finger along the bracelet around her wrist.

Penelope had given her something, Josie could be brave and repay the favour.

Even if Josie didn’t know what Penelope giving her the bracelet meant.

Ugh, why was her life so confusing?

+++

When Josie climbed out of the car, her heart-rate was already far too quick and her palms were already far too sweaty.

She couldn’t do this.

Lizzie placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled and her.

“It’s okay Jo, you’ve got this.”

Josie smiled back, and tried to swallow her nerves.

It almost worked.

Hope joined them right before the entered the building.

She smiled and Josie, and gave her hand a quick squeeze.

Josie was thankful for the reassurance.

As she walked through the school, her first thought was that something was wrong.

No one was looking at her. 

No one was talking about her.

It was just like normal.

That was what scared Josie.

Her whole life had been flipped upside down, so how was everyone else just continuing with their lives?

Lizzie went off to go find her friends, and Hope kept walking with Josie.

Still no response from the crowds.

When she found her locker there were no hateful words scribbled on it, there was no screenshot of the video stuck there.

It was just her normal locker.

Had Josie overestimated how much people cared?

She didn’t remember much from that night, but she was almost positive that people had been looking at her weird.

People had been talking about her, whispering harsh words behind her back.

She hadn’t imagined those Instagram comments on the video.

So, what had changed?

Why was everything fine?

Hope tapped her on the shoulder.

“You okay?”

Josie nodded slowly.

“Yeah, everything just feels weird. Why aren’t people saying things? Why aren’t people looking at me?”

Hope frowned.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

Josie nodded again, biting her lip.

“Yes of course, but it just makes me worried. I mean, what if everyone is secretly planning some giant thing to humiliate me?”

Hope laughed and Josie glared at her.

“Sorry, but I think you might be overthinking this. I think you should just take the win. This is good. And, if anything bad happens, we’ll get over it. Okay?”

Josie hesitated, thinking it over.

Hope was right.

This was a good thing.

The school had probably moved onto new gossip.

She had probably faded into obscurity again.

Josie tried to ignore the fact that that thought was so disappointing.

No one saw her.

Not anymore.

She forced a smile onto her face and nodded.

“Okay, you’re right. This is good.”

Hope grinned.

Josie tried to ignore the feeling of unease that stayed with her.

+++

In Chemistry, Lizzie told Josie and Hope that apparently Dana and Sasha were fighting, and that there was this whole thing going on, about Sasha’s boyfriend cheating on her with Dana, or something like that.

Josie let herself feel a sense of smug satisfaction that Dana wasn’t with Penelope.

Because if Josie had to deal with seeing them back together on top of everything else, she was going to call it a day, and just not turn up to school for the rest of the year.

Apart from that drama, everything was back to how it was at the beginning of the year.

Josie and Hope sat by the football field at lunch, away from all the people.

Josie, Hope, and Lizzie sat on one bench in Chemistry, Penelope sat with Landon to the side.

In hallways, no one bothered to look at Josie. 

It almost felt like people were avoiding her.

Josie hated it.

She hated how she was too scared to start a conversation with MG or Landon, so she ended up avoiding both of them.

She hated how she didn’t have Penelope.

That was the worst part of it really.

Because she saw Penelope in her classes, saw her in the hallways, but Penelope didn’t look at her, didn’t talk to her.

It was like Josie didn’t exist.

It made Josie want to scream, want to grab her and force her to look at Josie, to ask her to just acknowledge her existence.

Josie remembered Penelope telling her that she had always tried to make Josie feel seen.

Now Josie just felt invisible.

Josie ran her finger over the bracelet. The amount of times she’d considered throwing it in the trash was nearly the same amount of times that she’d had to stop her heartbeat quickening when she saw Penelope.

She just wanted to turn back time.

She just wanted Penelope back by her side.

+++

Josie slipped out of Trigonometry to put the present in Penelope’s locker.

No one was in the hallways, so she could avoid the judging stares and the gossip that would follow if anyone saw her.

Josie was glad that Penelope was so lazy with her locker. She never locked it, despite all the times Josie told her to do so. Penelope had argued that no one in their right mind would try to mess with her locker, and to be fair, she was right.

Josie pulled it open and placed the box inside. She was just about to shut it when something caught her eye.

It was a picture of her and Penelope, stuck to the side of Penelope’s locker. 

It was the one that Penelope had taken of them at Kaleb’s party, back in the early stages of them dating.

Back before Josie had realised how deep her feelings ran.

Back before all the pain and confusion and heartbreak.

Josie bit her lip, forcing back tears.

She was not going to be the girl who cried at school over her sort of ex.

Stupid fucking Penelope Park.

Josie nearly slammed the locker when she closed it, and then she stormed back into Trig.

Feelings were incredibly stupid.

Why had Josie ever agreed to having them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here, except that I am on holidays now, so I should be able to get more writing done, which is awesome! Next chapter we get to see Posie interact while sober, and let me tell you, it isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.  
> See you guys next time!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Posting with only three days between chapters? More likely than you think! Like I said, it's the holidays, so I've actually got time now.   
> As for this chapter, well, if you like angsty Posie, you'll probably like this chapter.  
> Enjoy!

Three days passed.

Nothing changed.

Lizzie and Hope were now the power couple of the school. 

Everyone had an opinion about them, whether it was ‘it won’t last’ or ‘this has been brewing since middle school’ and Josie just wished that people wouldn’t say all of their thoughts when she was in the room.

Dana and Sasha had split their group in half, broken up with their boyfriends/hook-ups, and were now attacking each other on their Instagram stories.

Josie was just staying as far away from that mess as she could.

Penelope still hadn’t looked at her.

Josie would get to a point where she thought she was okay with it, and then Penelope would pass her in the hallway, explicitly avoiding eye contact, and it was like another crack was forming in her heart.

Josie threw glances her way, trying to see if she was wearing the necklace that Josie had given her.

Josie couldn’t tell.

This was shit.

She’d asked Hope about it, asked her why she was doing this, and she had no clue.

Apparently, she avoided the topic of Josie violently every time they talked.

Josie didn’t know what that meant and at this point, she was pretty sure that she didn’t know if she wanted to know.

It was like they were parallel lines now, never converging.

On the third day of Penelope ignoring her, Josie was considering starting a fight with her, just so Penelope would look at her, even if there was hate in her eyes.

Hate would be better than indifference at this point.

+++

It was Friday when their lines finally collided.

And what a collision it was.

It was lunch, and Josie was outside with Hope, having a fun time sitting there, eating and talking about Taylor Swift’s new album.

Everything was calm and all was good with the world.

Then Hope looked up and frowned.

Josie turned to look, and saw Lizzie striding over to them.

She did not look happy.

“Shit,” Josie muttered.

Lizzie reached them and immediately started speaking at a million miles a minute.

“Josie, you know how no one has been saying anything bad about you or doing anything bad to you? It’s because of Penelope. She’s been blackmailing the whole year. That’s how the news about Dana and Sasha got out, it’s because she leaked screenshots and stuff after what they did at the party. And yesterday, Bryce Owens was saying some slutshaming shit about you in the boys changerooms, Jed heard, Jed told Penelope, and Penelope sent pictures of him doing weed to his mum, as well as information about where he hid his stash, and now he’s grounded. So, he went up to Penelope and confronted her about everything, and he hit her, and she hit him back, and they got into a fight, and the teacher’s stepped in, and now they’re in trouble!”

It took Josie a moment to process the dump of information that Lizzie had just given her.

Penelope had gotten into trouble with Bryce Owens, who was literally twice her size.

Penelope had blackmailed basically the entire student body into not being mean to Josie.

Penelope Park was a fucking idiot.

Josie had given her a necklace as a peace offering, then Penelope went out of her way to ignore Josie, but participated in some Gossip Girl bullshit behind her back.

Josie stood up; fists clenched.

She didn’t care about this dumb stalemate they had going on, Josie was going to find Penelope Park, and she was going to yell at her.

And also make sure that she was okay because seriously, Bryce played rugby and Penelope was smaller than Josie, and he was terrifyingly big to Josie.

“Where is she?” Josie asked.

Lizzie gestured into the distance.

“Either in the nurses office or outside the Principal’s office.”

Josie nodded, and strode off in the direction of the school.

She heard Hope call out after her, but she waved her away.

Josie didn’t need Hope to calm her down right now.

She needed to give Penelope a piece of her mind.

+++

She found Penelope sitting in a chair outside of the nurse’s office, with an icepack clutched to her face.

Josie didn’t even stop walking before she started yelling.

“Penelope Park you absolute idiot!”

Penelope looked up at her, and sighed, forcing a grin onto her face.

“Hey Jojo, don’t even worry about it, you should see the other guy,” she joked wearily. 

Josie shook her head, coming to a stop in front of Penelope.

She reached out and pulled the icepack away from Penelope’s face. A bruise was already forming on her eye and cheekbone.

Penelope hissed in pain, and Josie dropped her hand. Penelope moved the icepack back to her face. 

“A rugby player? You got into a fight with a rugby player?”

Penelope sighed.

“It wasn’t exactly like I had a choice. He sort of just launched himself at me in the middle of the hallway.” 

Josie folded her arms.

“Well he wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t blackmailed him and then released pictures of him doing drugs to his parents.”

Penelope sighed again, looking down.

“You know about that,” Penelope said tonelessly.

Josie laughed harshly.

“Oh yeah, I know about that. You know, you really have a way of going about things in the worst possible way.”

Penelope looked up at her, and Josie saw hurt flash in her eyes.

Then she shrugged, as if nothing mattered.

“Personally, I think it’s a brilliant idea. I’ve had this information stored up for ages, and now I finally get to use it.”

“That in itself is just awful. You realise how shitty that is right? Blackmailing people? Just because they fucked up doesn’t mean you get to pull some Mean Girls bullshit to retaliate.”

Penelope didn’t say anything. 

Josie shook her head.

“I can’t believe you.”

Penelope sighed.

“Does this visit of yours have a point besides you lecturing me because if not I’m going to need you to leave.”

Josie clenched her fists and her jaw.

She could see that this wasn’t Penelope.

She could see that her walls were up, could see it in her tense posture, in the fake look in her eyes, in the bored tone in her voice.

She knew that Penelope was trying to push her away.

And that was what hurt.

Not Penelope’s words, but the fact that everything they had was gone. 

And the fact that Penelope wasn't even going to try to get it back.

“Don’t pull that shit on me Penelope, I can tell when you’re lying.”

Penelope looked up at her, a fierce glare in her eye.

“Josie, if I wanted to talk to you, I would.”

Josie snapped.

“That’s absolute fucking bullshit Penelope, and you know it. If you didn’t want to talk to me, why did you text me ten times after the argument. If you don’t care about me, then why did you blackmail half the fucking school, why did you leave this at my house?” As she said the last sentence, Josie gestured to the bracelet.

Josie watched as Penelope’s jaw clenched, watched as she pushed her ice pack harder against her head.

Josie didn’t know what was happening right now, didn’t know what game Penelope was playing at here, but she knew she didn’t like it. And if she had to say some harsh things, just so she could get Penelope to drop the act, then so be it.

“If you don’t care about me, then why the fuck did you tell me that you loved me?” Josie felt her voice shake as she said the words, but when Penelope met her eyes, without the mask of indifference shielding her eyes, she knew that she’d pushed far enough.

Maybe she'd pushed too far, but at least this time when Penelope looked at her, there was emotion in her eyes.

Even if it was anger.

“If you care so much about me Josie, why did you tell me that you hated me? Why did you tell me that you never wanted to see me again? If you really fucking care about me, then why did you tear our relationship apart? Because let’s be honest here Josie, you could have listened to me, but you chose not to. I may have lied, but you never actually wanted to know the truth.”

Penelope spoke the words with such calm fury that it felt like every one was a knife wound to Josie’s heart.

Josie wanted to turn and run.

Wanted to scream at Penelope so loud that the whole school heard. 

Wanted to just break down on the spot.

But she couldn’t let this go.

Penelope sighed and looked away, visibly deflating.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight with you Josie. Can you just please leave me alone?”

Josie sighed, but instead of turning and leaving, sat down next to Penelope.

She'd pushed too far, but now Penelope's walls were down. Maybe she was fucking stupid, but she just wanted to have a conversation with Penelope.

Penelope turned to look at her with confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sitting with you until it’s time for you to leave.”

“Josie, you’re going to miss class.”

“It’s Music, the teacher loves me, and I’m already ahead on the work we have due. I can spare some time.”

Penelope shook her head.

“I literally just yelled at you, why on Earth do you still want to be around me?”

Josie shrugged.

“You did sort of get into a fight with a rugby player for me. Besides, you weren’t wrong. I fucked up just as much, if not more, than you did.”

Penelope didn’t say anything, so Josie just sat there in silence.

It was actually kind of nice to be able to just sit there, knowing that Penelope wasn’t going to up and leave. 

This was probably the closest they’d been for a long time.

And while Josie longed to just reach out, to take Penelope’s hand, or to lean her head on Penelope’s shoulder, the lines between them were hazy, and Josie didn’t want to break the truce that they’d formed.

She turned to look at Penelope.

Even with an icepack pressed against her face, even as she looked at the ground with melancholy in her eyes, Penelope Park was still this most beautiful girl Josie had ever seen.

“What happened on New Year’s?” Josie asked suddenly.

She didn't know where the sudden question had come from, but maybe it was because she couldn't bare just sitting in silence with Penelope.

Penelope turned to look at her, clearly taken aback.

“What?”

Josie shrugged.

“I don’t remember much about that night. I just remember that Dana said something to me, and I remember that you were there. But I don’t remember anything else. So, I figured that maybe you could fill in the blanks.”

Penelope swallowed and Josie waited to see if she would take the opportunity to step towards them getting better.

“You were a wreck when I found you. I don’t know what Dana said to you exactly, but whatever it was it hurt. You were so drunk, and you looked so broken.” Penelope paused, as if recalling the moment she saw Josie. She swallowed again and continued.

“I decided that I should take you home. It took you a little bit of convincing, but you did it in the end.”

Josie nodded.

“Is that why you decided to blackmail the school?”

Penelope sighed.

“Yeah, that’s why. I couldn’t bare knowing that you were going through that every day.” 

Josie let herself smile, knowing that it meant that Penelope did care about her.

Even if she didn't want to let Josie know that, because she shrugged, and Josie saw her mask flick back up onto her face.

“That and, well, I don’t like people thinking they can say whatever they want without consequences. Besides, I’d been waiting for a reason to use the blackmail material.”

Josie tried to hide her disappointment. She didn’t know why Penelope was lying, but it sucked that Penelope couldn’t trust her enough to just say the truth.

It sucked that despite all this, she still didn’t know what Penelope felt about her.

“You know, it would have been better if you had done something to show that you cared. I don’t need a puppet master behind the scenes, I need you.” Josie knew that she was probably pushing it too far, that Penelope would deflect, but she needed Penelope to know.

Penelope shifted, turning her face towards the ice pack.

Josie waited.

“Well, maybe you can’t have me.” Penelope’s voice was cold, and it stung.

Josie looked away.

The silence between them was heavy, and Josie felt like she was going to be crushed under the weight of it if she let it go on too long.

So, she tried to get Penelope back.

“Can I ask you about the party again?”

“I told you everything I remember,” Penelope said.

Josie knew that she was lying. It was Penelope. She remembered everything. She could probably recount every word from the conversation they had that night.

“Did I,” she hesitated, unsure if Penelope would want to answer, “Did I say anything to you that night? Anything that I should know about?” 

Penelope bit her lip. There was a long pause.

Josie could tell just from the look on Penelope’s face that she had definitely said something worth knowing about. The question was, was Penelope going to tell her?

“You told me that you still trust me,” Penelope answered finally.

The words felt heavy.

Because really, they weren’t lies.

Josie still trusted Penelope. She would probably always trust Penelope.

Even if Josie was terrified, even if she was pretty sure that she had meant nothing to Penelope, Penelope had listened to her, and Penelope had seen her.

Josie had shown Penelope a part of her that no one else had seen. 

The trust that Josie had had in Penelope couldn’t be erased.

It could be bent, it could be chipped away at, but it would always be there.

Even if Penelope didn’t return that trust.

Even if she didn’t return her love.

Josie nodded.

“I do,” she answered simply, not sure if she wanted Penelope to hear what she really meant.

I still love you.

I still want to be with you.

Please don’t break me again.

Penelope sighed.

“You shouldn’t.”

Josie opened her mouth to answer, when a voice called from down the hallway.

“Miss Park, Miss Saltzman, what are you two doing?”

It was one of the teachers, Mr Pauls. He was a nice enough man, just very strict.

Josie beat Penelope to answering.

“Penelope got hurt, and I was making sure that she was okay.”

He nodded.

“I heard about Miss Park’s fight. Are you alright?”

Penelope nodded, forcing a smile.

“I’ll be fine sir.”

He nodded again.

“Alright then, Miss Saltzman, you should head back to class, don’t want you getting in trouble for helping a friend.”

Josie nodded, and he turned away.

Josie stood, disappointed that she had to leave, but also relieved. Penelope had been making it very clear that she didn’t want to talk, and Josie knew that if she kept pushing, Penelope would most likely snap again.

Just as she was about to walk away, Penelope called out.

“Thank you for the necklace.”

Josie turned back, almost unsure that she'd heard what she thought she had.

Penelope pulled the necklace out from under her shirt, where she’d been hiding it. She smiled.

“It’s really pretty. It made me immediately think of you.”

Josie smiled.

She didn’t know what it meant that Penelope was wearing the necklace, but seeing Penelope holding it and smiling at her made her happy.

“Thank you for the bracelet. I don’t think I’ve taken it off yet.”

Penelope nodded.

“I know. I saw.”

“Well, maybe next time, say something,” Josie meant it as a joke, but bitterness seeped into her words, and Penelope’s smile dimmed.

Josie mentally cursed herself.

“You should go,” Penelope whispered, as if speaking any louder would hurt.

Josie just nodded and left, a sinking feeling in her heart as she walked away.

Whatever Penelope and her were now, it was just a shell of what they had been.

Now there were so many unknown lines to avoid, so many walls that had been built up again.

All Josie wanted was to pull down both of their walls, and for Penelope to hold her.

But the truth was, Penelope probably didn’t want that.

Penelope didn’t want her.

And Josie had to find a way to live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the writer of this fic, and even I am annoyed by how bad these two are at communicating! Although, to be fair, I did warn you guys about that at the beginning.  
> Next chapter is much softer, and while there isn't any Posie interaction in it, I think you guys will like it!  
> See you soon!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, and I come with soft Josie and Alaric content! I really like this chapter and I hope you guys do as well!  
> Enjoy!

For the rest of the day, all that Josie could think about was Penelope Park, and how utterly confusing she was.

On the one hand, Penelope had blackmailed the school to stop them bullying Josie, she’d worn Josie’s present, and she’d left a bracelet at Josie’s house.

On the other hand, she hadn’t looked at Josie in days, she kept pushing Josie away, kept lying to Josie, kept putting her walls up.

Josie knew that the likely thing was that Penelope didn’t like her, and was trying to get the message across.

And Josie had received that message loud and clear.

But still, there was something that kept Josie holding on to what was probably nothing. 

Somehow, there was still a fleeting hope.

+++

When Josie got home that afternoon, she started cleaning her room.

She didn’t have any homework to do, and she didn’t feel like reading or writing, and she needed something to keep her mind off of Penelope, so, cleaning it was.

She put on her headphones, put on her favourite playlist, which did not include songs that would send her into Penelope related spirals, and set to work.

The plan was to spend the rest of the afternoon doing this, so that she didn’t have to so much as think about Penelope Park, or any of the other problems in her life.

So, when her dad knocked on her door when she was only fifteen minutes into her room cleaning, she was a little disappointed.

“Hey Jo, why don’t we go for a drive?”

Josie frowned.

“Why?”

He shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Why not?”

Josie knew her dad, and she knew that that was code for ‘I want to talk to you, and I don’t want Lizzie or Pedro to interfere’.

Josie sighed.

So much for avoiding her problems. 

“Okay sure, I’ll be down in five.”

+++

The car ride was silent. Her dad didn’t even put on music, so Josie was left to stare out the car window and think.

Seriously, thinking was the one thing that she hadn't wanted to do this afternoon, and yet, here she was.

Great.

Well, might as well use to time to reflect over her feelings for Penelope for the millionth time.

She didn’t know how to feel about Penelope blackmailing the school.

On the one hand, blackmail was bad, Penelope was basically doing the same thing that Dana or whoever it was had done when they released that video, and Penelope should have just let Josie handle the situation.

On the other hand, Penelope doing that showed that she had to at least care a little.

Even if it was probably that she just felt bad about leading Josie on or something.

Josie wondered if there would be a point where her feelings for Penelope would fade.

She wasn’t sure, because even when she’d hated Penelope after the argument, even after Penelope ignored her in the school hallways, she still loved her.

Ugh, love.

Josie wished that this was still just a stupid crush, only based on the fact that Penelope was annoyingly attractive, and her smile was so pretty.

But no.

She had to fall in love with Penelope’s personality, with her kind interior, underneath her HBIC mask. She had to fall in love with Penelope’s messed up bits, her insecurities, and the way that she wasn’t as confident as she pretended to be. She had to fall in love with the way that she treated Josie like she was important, like she was the only person that mattered.

And now Josie was left with the pieces of everything they had, unable to put together a picture.

Because if Penelope hadn’t lied when she said that she loved Josie, then why did she avoid her in the hallways? Why had she pushed Josie away? Why hadn’t she tried to contact Josie since the argument? Why was she so desperate to keep the events of the New Year’s Party a secret? 

And if she had lied, then how was Josie supposed to know what was real? Had Penelope’s inner self been a lie? Had her insecurities been lies, had all the stories Penelope had told her been false, had the Penelope that Josie had fallen for been nothing more than an act?

Josie didn’t know what to think. 

Her dad broke off Josie’s train off thought when he pulled into the parking lot of the diner.

Josie sighed.

“Do we really have to go here?”

Her dad looked at her with a frown.

“What’s so bad about this place? I thought you loved the diner.”

She sighed, and tugged the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands.

“I did. It’s just,” she sighed again, “it doesn’t matter.”

He shook his head.

“Jo, if something is wrong, you’ve got to tell me.”

She shrugged uncomfortably. She didn’t really enjoy talking about her love life with her dad. They'd never exactly done it before. 

She wasn't even sure where to start now. All he knew about the situation was that Penelope had dumped Josie, and that Josie had been shattered.

She bit her lip and he nudged her.

“Come on. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“This place just sort of reminds me of stuff.”

His eyebrows creased.

“Stuff?”

She nodded, unwilling to give him any more information.

He sighed.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

She looked out of the car at the diner, at the bright lights and the neon sign.

She could almost see the past version of herself sitting at one of the tables next to Penelope, both of them lost in conversation.

She could almost hear Penelope’s laugh, her teasing comments, could almost feel the way she’d fallen in love with Penelope.

She shook her head.

“No, let’s go in.”

+++

They sat down at a booth and her dad ordered them both milkshakes. Josie ordered a chocolate and thought of Penelope again.

It seemed that she just couldn’t avoid thoughts of her.

Maybe Josie should just embrace the fact that she was in love with Penelope, and that she was never going to be able to forget Penelope's smile, she was never going to be able to forget the way that Penelope smelled, the way that she kissed.

Josie sighed involuntarily as she thought of what it had felt like to kiss Penelope. How soft her lips had been, the way that Penelope's hands had tangled in her hair, how warm Josie had felt, how loved she had felt.

She would give anything just to be able to go back to that moment. 

“Hey, Jo, where’d you go?”

Josie blinked as she remembered where she was, and then she blushed.

Her dad smiled at her.

“Sorry to pull you out of whatever you were thinking about, you looked happy.”

She smiled sadly.

“Yeah, I was. It doesn’t matter though.”

“If it made you happy, of course it mattered. Any thought or memory that makes you happy is worth having.”

He looked around the diner with a smile. His expression slowly changed to something that wasn’t quite happy, wasn’t quite sad, it was more like he was remembering forgotten joy.

He turned back to Josie slowly, and then tapped the jukebox sitting on the edge of the table.

“You know, your mum and I used to come here when we were first dating, back in like the first year of college.”

Josie was surprised, not just because the image of her dad as a young college student in this diner was weird, but also because her dad never talked about their mother.

Ever since her death, Josie had probably only talked to her dad about her mum a few times, and even then, it was usually just him mentioning her in conversation, before he changed the subject.

Josie had always wanted to know more about her mother, after all, she was named after her.

So, she leaned forwards, eager to hear whatever it was that her dad wanted to say.

“We’d sit here, we’d both get a milkshake and we’d share fries. And then, she’d put in a quarter and play this song.”

He pushed a quarter into the jukebox, and pressed on The Safety Dance.

He smiled as the opening bars played.

“She loved this song. When we got married, she made sure that it was played.”

Josie smiled. Her parents wedding was one of the few moments that she knew about, if only because of the pictures around the house. Her mother had looked so pretty in her wedding dress.

“She’d always play it, and then she’d get up in the isles and start dancing. Everyone would just stare at her and she’d always try to get me to dance with her.” He sighed. “She was so beautiful.”

“Did you ever dance with her?”

He laughed.

“Once. The night that your mother told me that she was pregnant, we came here. I was so happy, and I remember I danced with her that whole night. Everyone stared at us, but for the first time, I didn’t care, because I was with her. She always made me feel like I could do anything.”

Josie knew that she should focus on the story, on the image of her father dancing with her mother as the whole diner looked at them, but all she could focus on was the fact that it sounded so familiar.

_She always made me feel like I could do anything._

That was exactly how Penelope made her feel.

When Josie had been with Penelope, she’d learned how to ignore the crowds of people, because only Penelope mattered.

But now Penelope was gone, and she didn’t have the safety of Penelope’s arms to focus on.

She had nothing.

“You know, you remind me so much of her.”

Josie looked up, surprised.

“Dancing in the isles and not caring about who is watching sounds more like Lizzie.”

He shook his head laughing.

“Lizzie is like her in that way, yes. But you have her kindness, you have her love. The way she cared about me, the way she cared about the two of you, it was so amazing. When I met her, she thought that she cared too much. I always that didn’t make any sense, because every single person whose life she touched was better because of it.”

Josie smiled.

“She sounds amazing.”

He nodded, and reached into her pocket.

He handed Josie a picture of a woman mid dance, beaming at something out of shot.

Josie recognised the diner in the background, and her mother’s smile immediately.

“I keep that on me at all times. Sometimes when life gets hard, I like to pull it out and look at it. She reminds me to always be the best version of myself, that I need to keep going.”

Josie didn’t even realise that she was crying until a tear fell onto her hand. She put down the picture and wiped at her eyes.

“I’m sorry for not telling you more about her,” her dad sighed.

Josie shook her head.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, she’s your mother, and you and your siblings deserve to hear all of the stories about her. Like the first time we met, it was at a college party and I was the first person over twenty that she could find. Or like how she named Lizzie after a friend’s mother who passed away, because she thought that her name deserved to live on. Like how when the two of you were born, she immediately fell in love with both of you. Like how when she saw Pedro for the first time, she knew that she wanted to adopt him.”

Josie was full on crying now. Her dad had never spoken like this, with such pain and love in his voice. He had tears in his eyes now too. 

“I’m sorry for not being there more for you guys. I know I focus on my job too much, I know I’ve left a lot of pressure on you and Lizzie, but just know that the two of you are everything I could have dreamed of and that your mother would be so proud of the two of you.”

Josie nodded, unable to speak.

“I just want to be there for you. You’ve been having all these problems with Penelope, and I barely talked to you about your relationship when you were together.”

Josie sighed, and then cleared her throat.

“I don’t really want to talk about Penelope right now dad.” 

He nodded with understanding.

“Is she the ‘stuff’ you were talking about earlier?”

Josie nodded.

He smiled and took her hand.

“I get it. After your mum died, I wasn’t able to come back here for three years. When I walked in, it was so much that I had to leave again, otherwise I was pretty sure I was going to have a breakdown.”

Josie sniffled. She hated that her dad had lost so much, she hated that their mum was gone, she hated that sometimes she forgot about her mother, she hated that she barely remembered her.

“I really miss her, dad.”

He squeezed her hand.

“I miss her too.”

“There’s just so much that I wish I could have told her. I wish I could have come out to her, I wish I could have told her about all the people I had crushes on, I wish I could have told her that I was with Penelope, I wish I could have told her about my songs, I wish I could have played her something on my guitar, I wish I could just have another family night with her where we all watched Golden Girls. I wish she was still here, just so that I could hug her." Josie was rambling, but she didn't care

All of it was true.

As Josie broke down, her dad moved around the booth to her side, and he hugged her.

“It’s okay, baby, just let it out.”

She cried into his shoulder for a while, just thinking about all the moments that she’d lost with her mum.

When he pulled away, she smiled gratefully at him.

“Thanks.”

“It’s okay. I’m your dad, I should have been there more for you. And I know you can tell mum all of those things, but if you ever want to talk about that stuff, I’m always here for you, and I’m so sorry for making you feel like I wasn’t.”

Josie nodded.

“Can I tell you about Penelope?” She asked him, fidgeting with her hands. 

He looked a little surprised but nodded.

“Tell me about her.”

 

And so, she did.

She told him everything.

Josie told him how they had never really dated, told him about their contract, told him how she’d slowly fallen for Penelope, how scared she’d been, told him about the night of the ski trip when Penelope told her that she saw her, gave him a brief description of the night in the hot tub, one that wouldn’t make him freak out. 

She told him of how Dana had told her what happened, and how Penelope hadn’t been able to deny it. She told him of their fight, how Lizzie had heard the truth, how Josie had turned Penelope away, how Penelope had told her that she loved her. She told him finally about how Penelope had blackmailed the school and had gotten into a fight for Josie, only for her to completely ignore her.

Josie told his as much as she could, talked until the sun fell under the horizon, until she had no words left.

When she finished her dad paused, drinking in all that she had said.

Josie played with the sugar packets on their table, waiting for his response.

Finally, he let out a breath and said,

“Well, I have really missed out on a lot, now haven’t I?"

Josie laughed.

“It’s not your fault, no one knew.”

“That’s true.” He leaned back in his chair.

“So, you think that Penelope never actually liked you, and that she was just using you?”

Josie nodded.

“But you fell in love with her, and now you don’t know what to do?”

Josie nodded again.

He sighed.

“I don’t really know what advice I can give you. This seems to be a very complex situation. I just have to ask one thing of you.”

Josie leaned forwards.

“Yeah?”

“You were so happy and bright when you were with Penelope. For the first time in years, it was like you finally had the freedom to show the world what an amazing person you were. These past few months, I’ve seen your mother in you, I’ve seen the woman who danced in the isles of a diner. No matter what happens with Penelope, I don’t want you to lose that light.”

Josie smiled.

“It’s funny that you say that. One of my reasons for doing this with Penelope was because I wanted to take a chance and because I wanted to, as I put it, ‘step into the light’.”

He laughed.

“You did. You really did. And I don’t want you to lose that.”

“I won’t.”

He nodded.

“Good. As for Penelope, I don’t really know what to do with that, but all I know is that if you have a love strong enough, it’s worth fighting for. That’s what your mother taught me.”

Josie just smiled and nodded. 

Her dad was right, she couldn’t let her loss of Penelope make her lose her confidence. She needed to learn how to be the best version of herself without Penelope by her side.

As for his words about fighting for love, well, she might have to put those to the side first.

After all, Josie was far too selfless to fight for someone who didn’t want her.

She turned to look at the jukebox which had long since been silent.

“Do you have a quarter I can borrow?”

He smiled and handed her one. She put it in and played the song again.

This time, she turned her head to look around the diner. And if she tried hard enough, she could almost see the vision of a couple dancing in the isles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have some lowkey bad news. I'm going to be travelling over the weekend, and I won't have my laptop with me, so I won't be able to write. You guys might have to wait a little bit longer for the next one, and I'm really sorry about that!  
> Ignoring that for the moment though, how did you guys like the chapter? Did you like seeing Alaric and Josie talking? Please tell me what you think!  
> Until I see you next, I hope you have many lovely days!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, did you miss me?  
> I'm back from my travels, and I'm here with my new chapter.   
> Also, can any of you believe that season 2 of Legacies is so close? I'm so very hyped! Even if we have to deal with Jandon.  
> Anyways, here is the chapter!  
> Enjoy!

Josie arrived home with a new sense of purpose. She was going to be a new and improved of herself when she went into school tomorrow, she was going to step into the light, embrace whatever attention she received, and she was going to be happy.

Having Penelope didn't really seem like an option at the moment, so Josie needed to find a way to do all that without her help.

The only question was, how exactly did she go about doing that?

She decided that a clear goal would be important. 

So, she came up with one, and wrote it down.

_To draw the attention of the school to herself, and prove to everyone that she could be someone without Penelope Park._

Then she needed to figure out how she could go about doing that.

Well, all she needed to do was draw attention to herself. And she knew one person who could help her do that very well.

+++

As Josie had expected, Lizzie freaked out upon hearing that Josie wanted help on picking her outfit for school.

So, now Josie was sitting on the edge of her bed as Lizzie went through the pros and cons list of Josie’s wardrobe, and was also running through possible hairstyles to go with it.

“Josie, if I’m going to do this, I need to know specifically, what it is that you are trying to achieve with this new look of yours. Do you want to be cute or hot? Are we going for good girl or bad girl? Is there a colour scheme you have in mind? I need answers Jo!”

Josie replied immediately.

“I want to look hot; I want to look like a bad girl, and I don’t care about the colour scheme.”

Lizzie turned to look at Josie with surprise.

“That’s an…interesting combination.”

Josie shrugged.

“I guess I just want to try something new. Something different.”

Lizzie frowned.

“Still, I don’t really get why you need to basically change your entire style for this.”

Josie sighed.

“Lizzie, you were the one who asked me the questions.”

“I was going into outfit freak-out mode. If you hadn’t replied I would have asked you if you would prefer a flower crown or an actual crown as an accessory.”

"Actual crown, definitely."

Lizzie tilted her head to the side.

"Josie, are you okay?"

Josie shrugged.

Lizzie pushed Josie’s wardrobe door shut and sat down next to Josie on the bed.

“Okay, let me ask you this. What is it that you are trying to do here?”

“I want to draw attention to myself.”

“Why?”

“To prove that I can be confident and that I can deal with the attention of the school without having Penelope Park as my personal bodyguard.”

Lizzie nodded.

“So, it’s about Penelope?”

“No, it’s about me.”

“Josie, you do realise that Penelope invented the hot, bad girl look at this school, right?”

Josie looked down. Lizzie did have a point. Penelope did have a very specific style. Josie remembered just how attractive it had been.

“And while you would look amazing in her clothes, I don’t think that this is something you need to do.”

Josie sighed.

“I’m just trying to find my way back into the light I had when Penelope was there. Everything was so much better then, why I can’t I find that again?”

Lizzie laughed.

“Josie, you can’t just go back to how things were, that’s not how this works. No outfit is going to change that. Tell me, what was it that you liked about that time when you were in the light, so to speak?”

Josie paused to think. Those few moths had been a whirlwind; it was hard to describe how it felt. 

“It felt like I was seen. Like for years I’d been hiding in the shadows, and suddenly people saw me. I had more friends then I’ve had in years, I went to a party, I showed Penelope one of my songs, I even stood up to Dana at one point! I felt free, like I could do whatever I wanted, and like I suddenly didn’t care if people were going to judge me, because well, I’d already made out with Penelope Park in front of the school, so it wasn’t like I was going to be able to top that.”

Lizzie nodded, a smile creeping onto her face.

“So, what you’re telling me, is that, the things that you liked most, was feeling free to do what you wanted with people that you cared about, and expressing who you are?”

Josie nodded slowly.

“Well, then, it sounds to me, like you’ve been going about this new outfit thing the wrong way. You don’t need to attract the attention of the school, Josie. Like you said, everyone already sees you now. All you can do, is be yourself. So, don’t try to get attention, that’s dumb. You don’t need attention.”

Josie laughed. 

“I guess you’re right.”

Lizzie flicked her hair dramatically.

“I’m always right.”

Josie looked back at her wardrobe.

“But what if I still wanted your help picking out an outfit that feels like it best represents me?”

Lizzie stood up, grinning widely.

“Well then I think your sister would be a great person to ask for help.”

+++

Josie ended up choosing a yellow blazer, and a blue shirt and skirt. Lizzie didn’t help her much, but she did make a comment about how funny it was that Josie’s style was literally the exact opposite of Penelope’s.

Josie threw a pillow at her, but couldn’t help but think that it was true.

And, if she chose the skirt and blazer combination that Penelope had once referred to as ‘super-hot’, then that was nothing but a coincidence.

Josie didn’t care about Penelope, and she really didn’t care about whether or not Penelope thought she looked good.

When Lizzie left, Josie decided to make a list of the things that she wanted to do that she had done over the past six months.

1\. Talk to her new friends.

2\. Go to one of Kaleb’s parties, and this time, not get horribly drunk.

3\. Share her songs with another living breathing person.

4\. Stand up to Dana.

5\. Kiss Penelope Park.

Josie looked down at the page. 

Talking to the boys who she’d grown close with over the past months was something that she’d been missing at school. She’d definitely have to talk to MG and Landon at school, and maybe Kaleb as well. Jed, well, as much as she wanted to talk to him, she was still a little scared that he was going to kill her, so maybe not him.

Going to one of Kaleb’s parties was a bit of a risk, considering that last time she’d ended up blackout drunk, but this time she would just have to hold her liquor. She remembered how much fun she’d ended up having on that first party she’d gone to of Kaleb’s and she just wanted to see if she could have a night like that again.

After her dad’s ban of parties was over though, of course.

Number 3 would be slightly trickier, but hopefully achievable. Penelope basically had to annoy Josie into sharing some of her songs, and Josie had only done so on one of the afternoons that Penelope was over at her house studying. She’d played her a song, and she hadn’t been afraid.

Penelope had listened to her songs, and Penelope had liked them. 

Josie wanted to perform to more people, so maybe she should.

Standing up to Dana, well, Josie just wanted the chance to let give Dana a piece of her mind. Even if Dana just brushed it off, Josie refused to let Dana walk all over her.

Josie looked at the last item on the list.

That was just a dream. 

She’d just added that to remember that once upon a time, she’d kissed Penelope.

Once upon a time, she’d been to call Penelope hers.

Even if it had been a lie.

Josie put the sheet of paper to the side. 

She was really glad that she’d had those talks with her dad and Lizzie, because honestly, they were so right.

These past few weeks, she’d been sleepwalking through her life, being terrified of what other people thought of her, always the slightest touch away from breaking.

Fuck that.

She couldn’t let everything that had happened stop her from living. She couldn’t let other people rule her life. She couldn’t lie to herself.

She needed to be who she wanted to be. 

She needed to go for what she wanted.

Josie stood up.

“I’m Josie Saltzman and I am not going to let anyone tell that that isn’t good enough.”

Josie smiled as she heard the words echo in her ears.

For the first time in weeks, she felt like she could feel the ground beneath her feet. Like she’d stopped spinning through the air, like she’d finally landed.

It felt good.

+++

When Josie stepped out of the car on Monday morning, she felt like finally, everything was going to be okay. She felt more comfortable in her skin then she had in weeks. 

When she walked through the halls, she found that she was smiling at people, and that people were smiling back.

She saw a few people give her weird looks, and heard whispers behind her back, but for the first time in ages, she didn’t care.

When she passed Landon, instead of looking away like she had been this past week, she stopped.

“Hey Landon.”

He looked up at her with surprise.

“Josie! Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while.”

She smiled apologetically.

“Sorry about that, I’ve been hiding from basically everyone."

He nodded. Landon had always been good about understanding things without Josie having to explain in depth.

“That’s okay. What changed your mind?”

“I sort of had a heart to heart with my dad. And then Lizzie. Basically, I realized that I was an idiot.”

He laughed.

“So, does this mean that you’re actually going to speak to me in Music?”

“Yes, I might even speak to you outside of Music.”

He laughed again.

Hope strode up to Josie’s side and beamed at Landon. While Josie had sort of cut herself off from everyone, Hope had continued her friendship with all of them, especially Landon. 

It seemed like, as they were both quiet loners, they’d clicked.

“Hey Landon. Hey Jo. What are you guys talking about?”

Josie shrugged.

“Nothing much.”

Hope laughed and punched Josie’s arm.

“Well, nothing much is going to have to stop. Class starts in three minutes, come on.”

Josie smiled at Landon as she left, and he awkwardly waved.

Hope turned to Josie as they walked down the corridor.

“I thought you were ignoring all of the people who were connected to Penelope.”

Josie shrugged.

“I sort of decided that I can’t let this mess stop me from doing what I want to do. I can’t let everything with Penelope ruin my entire life.”

Hope clapped her on the shoulder, grinning widely.

“That’s the Josie Saltzman I know and love.”

Josie smiled back. 

It felt true.

+++

For the rest of the day, Josie did everything with an extra spring in her step. She talked to MG, she talked to Kaleb, she laughed at Hope’s dumb jokes, she did her work, and most importantly, she attracted Penelope’s eyes in every single class that she was in.

Josie may have lied to herself when she said that she wasn’t wearing the outfit that she chose because she thought Penelope would like it.

She may have chosen it just to see if she could grab Penelope’s attention, because when Penelope had actually talked to her on Friday, even if it was an argument, Josie felt good.

Josie felt a little shallow, trying to get Penelope’s attention through looks alone, so she also tried to say things, that she knew Penelope would find funny or smart, just a little bit louder than she normally would.

It was so immature and childish, and yet, when Josie heard Penelope’s wry chuckle at one of Josie’s sarcastic comments in English, it felt a little less so.

She knew that she shouldn’t be doing this, that Penelope wanted nothing to do with her, but knowing that she could still make Penelope laugh made Josie feel really good.

Josie should have known that her good day wouldn’t last forever. It seemed like recently, the universe had it out for her. 

She had just pulled her bag out of her locker, and was about to make her way through the school out to the parking lot, where Lizzie and Hope would be waiting for her, when a voice called out.

“Josette!”

Josie had to physically stop herself from groaning.

Fucking Dana.

Josie spun around, forcing a bright smile onto her face. She was not going to let this blonde bitch stop her from having a good day.

“What is it Dana?”

Dana walked up to her until they were almost nose to nose, and Josie had to resist the urge to take a step back.

“You know that everyone sees through you, right?”

Josie sighed. She was not exactly looking forward to Dana’s new attack.

“What do you mean?” She asked, not even trying to hide her annoyance and boredom.

“This whole ‘I’m untouchable, everyone loves me’ bullshit. Just because Penelope Park has decided to be your personal guard dog, doesn’t meant that you’re special. Because you aren’t. She’s just trying to get you to fuck her again, so she can brag that she got you twice. She doesn’t actually care about you.”

Barely a month ago, Josie would be tearing up. But right now, she was just so bored.

If Dana wanted to really hurt Josie, she should really come up with some new content. Because while she had obviously figured out Josie’s insecurities, Josie was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again.

Josie decided that she wasn’t even going to try to be nice to Dana. Dana had had a million chances to not be a bitch, and Dana had ignored every single one of them.

Josie had wanted to stand up to Dana, now was her chance.

Besides, she wasn’t going to let Dana or the universe ruin her day. 

Not this time.

“Does it ever get tiring, having your entire life revolving around me and Penelope? Do you ever get bored saying the same things, trying to hurt me?”

Dana narrowed her eyes.

“Excuse me?”

Josie shrugged.

“I mean, the first few times around, the whole ‘you’re nothing, Penelope doesn’t want you, you’re insignificant’ speech was hurtful, yes I will admit, but now, I’m just bored. Seriously, you say the same things over and over again and expect them to keep hurting. But they don’t.”

Dana stepped back.

“So what? You find out that Penelope is your guardian angel and suddenly you aren’t scared, is that it?”

Josie actually laughed. It was almost sad how hard Dana was trying.

“Not everything I do revolves around Penelope. She can do whatever she wants and I can do whatever I want. And right now, I want to tell you to fuck off, because I’m having a really good day, and I don’t want some insignificant idiot, who thinks that she’s cool because she fucked a college guy and vaped in class once, trying to ruin it.”

Dana laughed, but Josie noticed that it sounded a little uncertain.

"Okay, sure, pretend that everything is fine. We both know that you're probably going to go home and cry into your pillow like the sensitive little bitch you are."

Josie beamed widely at Dana.

"And you can go home and know that despite the fact that you're so 'cool and popular', literally no one at this school actually cares what you think. So, go ahead, be mean. At the end of the day, your words are as worthless and pathetic to me as the knockoff jewelry that you're always wearing is."

Josie gave Dana one last fake smile, and walked away, making sure to hit Dana’s shoulder as she passed her.

It was immature, it was petty, and it felt so fucking good to do.

Josie didn’t even try to hide the real smile that burst onto her face as she walked away.

She didn’t know how long she’d been wanting to do that, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She'd looked Dana in the eye, she'd taken her insults, and she'd actually insulted her back.

Hell fucking yes.

Josie didn't care about the fact that Hope and Lizzie were both looking at her like she was slightly deranged.

Today was amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dana finally got yelled at, can I get a whoop whoop!?  
> I know Posie didn't interact this chapter, but I promise you, next chapter we get some quality Posie content!  
> Have a lovely day everyone, and I hope that Legacies season 2 treats us well!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Legacies Season 2 Premiere! Now, I haven't actually got the chance to see the episode, but I did spoil myself a little, and it looks like you guys are going to be in need of some Posie content. So, never fear, I am here to give you what you want!  
> Enjoy!

That afternoon, Josie decided that, as she was on top of all of her homework, and Hope and Lizzie were ‘studying’, she was going to go out to the diner.

Her trip there with her dad had shaken away the last few bad feelings she had about it, and she really wanted a chocolate milkshake.

She was going to make this the best day she possibly could.

She sat down at the booth where her dad had taken her, she ordered her food, and then she started playing The Safety Dance, and started singing alone, not caring who heard her.

She became completely unaware of her surroundings.

A hoard of vampires could have walked in and started feeding on people, and Josie would have been completely unaware. 

She was too busy humming along to the song, eating her food, feeling calm and content.

She took a selfie and decided to post it. 

She never posted on her Instagram, but she figured that today was a day of firsts, a day of confidence, so why the hell not?

Some of the other people in the diner were giving her weird looks, and when the waiter came to get her plate, she was pretty sure that he thought that she was high.

She wondered if this was what being high was like.

Feeling light and happy, like nothing else in the world mattered except for this one moment.

She’d have to ask one of the boys.

Josie sighed as she checked the time. She should probably head back.

Just as she was about to leave, she decided to go to the bathroom.

She didn’t really need to, but she just wanted an excuse to stay here just a little longer.

It felt like there was something in the air, something that made everything shine just a little more.

Or maybe it was Josie.

Maybe it was her new confidence, maybe it was the fact that today had been amazing.

Maybe the universe was shining brighter just for her.

Josie rolled her eyes a little bit, that was a little cheesy, even for her good mood.

Although, she’d have to keep the emotions that she was currently feeling stored away, because right now, she was full of song writing potential.

The bathroom wasn’t any more magical than usual, which Josie supposed was a good thing.

If the bathroom felt like a happy place, she might have to check that the waiter hadn’t slipped some drugs in her milkshake.

As she washed her hands, she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled.

She looked happy and carefree, like her heart was whole, like she wasn’t still hurting from Penelope Park inflicted wounds.

She sighed. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to go the full afternoon without thinking about Penelope.

Well, it wasn’t too much of a bad thing, Josie thought. After all, she had some pretty happy memories with Penelope.

Kaleb’s party, the two of the laughing and talking to everyone.

Sitting in this diner, sharing intimate thoughts that no one else had ever heard.

In Chemistry, Penelope sleeping on Josie, and Josie pretending that she was unbothered, like her heart wasn't going a million miles a minute. 

In Josie’s room, listening to Josie play a song she’d written.

On Josie’s couch, singing along to The Greatest Showman.

In Penelope’s kitchen, telling each other stories about parents that they’d lost.

In Penelope’s ski lodge room, talking about how Penelope had always seen her.

In that hot tub, kissing each other like nothing else mattered.

Penelope had given her heartbreak, sure, but she’d also given Josie some of the happiest moments of her life. Josie couldn’t forget that.

The door to the bathroom opened, and Josie was shaken out of her thoughts.

She opened her mouth to say something, but whatever she’d been planning on saying died in her throat.

Because, like she’d been summoned by Josie’s mere thoughts, there stood Penelope Park.

Josie had to stop for a moment, because seeing Penelope was always a breathtaking experience.

When Penelope was at school, she always looked immaculate, like every single strand of hair was exactly where it was meant to be, her make-up was always perfect, and her clothes made everyone else’s look boring.

This Penelope, right in this moment, was not that Penelope.

Her hair was messy, and little bits were coming out, like she’d walked through a strong wind. Her make-up was there, but not as prominent as it was in school. As for her clothes, she was just wearing a black hoodie and jeans. 

She was still so beautiful that it hurt.

The thing that Josie’s eye was immediately drawn to was the necklace, the necklace Josie had given her, dangling in clear view over the top of her hoodie, like she wanted people to notice it.

When Penelope’s eyes met Josie’s, her mouth fell open a little, and she took a startled step back.

Josie smiled.

“Nice necklace.”

Penelope didn’t say anything, but her eyes flicked down to the necklace, and she blushed.

Josie knew that once Penelope regained her calm demeanor, she’d push Josie away, so Josie just waited.

Penelope blinked.

“What are you doing here?”

Josie rolled her eyes, trying to stop the smile that threatened to break free.

Maybe Penelope wouldn't push her away immediately after all.

“It’s a diner Penelope. I came here to have food.”

Penelope nodded, still not saying anything.

Josie knew she should be mad at Penelope, after all, they were technically still fighting, but she really couldn’t find it in her to do that. Especially not when she looked like that.

“I heard about what you said to Dana,” Penelope blurted out. Josie looked up. How on Earth had news about that already started spreading? The school had a serious gossip problem.

“And by ‘I heard about it’ I mean, I was there. I was still at school, and well, you weren’t exactly secretive about it,” Penelope explained, nervously looking away.

Josie nodded.

“And?”

Penelope frowned.

“And what?”

Josie stepped forwards.

“What’s your opinion on what I said? Because you wouldn’t bring it up if you didn’t have something you wanted to say about it to me.”

Penelope bit her lip and nodded, but still said nothing.

Josie wanted to scream with frustration. When they had been fake dating, she’d barely been able to get Penelope to shut up, and now, all of a sudden, Penelope had decided that she couldn’t talk to Josie.

It was annoying, and a little heartbreaking. 

“Penelope?” Josie asked, trying to get a response.

Penelope jumped a little, and then laughed.

“Sorry, I’m a little out of it right now. I had a late night.”

“Let me guess, you were doing Chemistry homework, you got distracted and you ended up having an existential crisis with Landon?”

Penelope blinked.

“How did you know that? Did Landon tell you?”

Josie just laughed. Penelope’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s so funny?”

“The fact that you’re so predictable. Landon didn’t need to tell me anything, I know you, remember?” Josie wanted to bite back the last bit as soon as she said it, but by then it was too late.

Penelope’s eyes softened.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She laughed quietly.

The silence was about to settle again, and Josie was about to leave the room, when Penelope spoke.

“You looked happy.”

Josie frowned. Now it was her turn to be confused.

“What?”

“Today. The way you held yourself, the way you spoke, the way you acted, you just seemed so much happier than you have been. I mean, when I heard you laugh in English today, I think that was the first time in ages I’ve heard you laugh. It was just really nice to see you like that.”

Josie waited for Penelope to say something harsh, or passive aggressive, but nothing came. 

She shrugged.

“Well, I am happy. Today is the best day I’ve had in ages.”

Penelope smiled, at Josie was surprised at how warm it was.

“That’s really good to hear.”

Penelope paused and frowned. Then she opened her mouth, as if to speak, but Josie cut her off.

“Penelope, can we just not?”

Penelope tilted her head to the side questioningly.

“Like I said, today has been a really good day, and I don’t want to argue with you, or have to deal with you deciding to push me away. So, if you were going to do either of those things, then I’d rather not hear it.”

Penelope nodded.

“Okay.”

Josie smiled. This was progress. Maybe it would be erased tomorrow, maybe this moment was nothing but that, a moment, but it was still better than what their interactions had been recently.

“So, about your talk with Dana,” Penelope said slowly. She looked up at Josie, as if waiting to see if Josie was okay to talk about it. Josie motioned for her to go on.

“I have to say, I’m really proud of you for doing that. You finally did it, you stood up to her, and honestly, a lot of that stuff has been a long time coming.”

Josie shrugged, trying to act like it was no big deal, but on the inside, she was jumping for joy. Penelope was proud of her. 

Fuck yes.

“Well, I mean, I feel like you impacted her in a bigger way when you exposed her cheating, but it still felt really good," Josie said with a smile, tucking her hair behind her ears, just so she had something to do with her hands to stop them from reaching out for Penelope.

Penelope smiled.

“I bet it did.”

A pause.

“So, I wanted to apologise for the whole ‘me blackmailing the school and not letting you know’. It was kind of shitty. Actually, the whole blackmailing the school thing was just shitty full stop. I know, it was wrong, I was just trying to get some semblance of control over this situation.” Penelope ran her fingers through her hair. 

Josie sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, for one, I know for a fact that you don’t check my texts. For two, I thought that you didn’t need to know, and I know, that’s dumb, I get it. I am sorry. And for three, I didn’t want you to get mad at me, because like I said, it’s kind of a terrible idea.”

Josie nodded.

“Just a little bit.”

Penelope laughed. 

“Thank you for apologising. Just please, next time, actually let me know that you support me, instead of ignoring me,” Josie told her.

Penelope looked down at the ground. 

“I was trying to give you distance. I was pretty sure that you hated me.”

Josie supposed that was fair. She had yelled at Penelope a few days ago. Still, Penelope had to know that Josie could never hate her.

“Well, I did apparently tell you that I trusted you, and probably a bunch of other stuff when I was drunk but sure.”

Penelope sighed.

“That’s fair.” She paused and looked up. “I’m sorry for not telling you everything that happened on that night. You have a right to know.”

Josie nodded.

“Make it up to me now. Tell me what we talked about.”

Penelope walked over to the counter, and pulled herself on top of it. After a moment of consideration, Josie stepped back.

“Actually, I have a better idea. You do whatever it was you were planning to do when you came in here, and then you come out and talk to me at one of the booths.”

Penelope bit her lip.

"Come on, it's the same situation as us talking here, just a little more comfortable," Josie said, trying to hide her desperation to talk to Penelope.

Penelope nodded slowly, and pushed herself off of the counter, her lips curling into a wry smile.

“You may have a point there Jojo.”

Josie’s heart actually did a backflip in her chest. Penelope officially needed to give her a warning before pulling that type of thing

“Okay, I’ll see you out there then.”

Penelope smiled and Josie exited the bathroom, trying desperately to slow her rapidly beating heart.

They were going to talk. 

Holy shit.

Josie grinned, and did a little dance on the spot. 

Fucking finally.

+++

When Penelope exited, she didn’t even need to look around to find Josie.

“How long were you here?” Josie asked.

Penelope shrugged.

“Not long. I saw you, but I tried not to pay attention to you, or draw attention to myself. I didn’t really want to rain on your parade.”

Josie smiled.

“Well, thanks for your consideration I guess.”

Penelope laughed, but Josie could hear the nervousness underneath it.

Her hands were shaking a little, and Josie desperately wanted to take them with her own and provide some comfort.

But she didn’t.

That would probably make it worse.

So, Josie just moved on with the conversation.

“Tell me what you remember about that night.”

Penelope sighed and closed her eyes. Josie didn’t say anything, she just waited.

“You got there half an hour after me, and you stayed with Landon and MG the whole time. You were trying to pretend that you were okay, but I could see how much everyone’s comments and stares bothered you. I made sure that you didn’t see me, because you’d asked MG to tell me to avoid you.”

Penelope stopped and looked down at her hands. Josie waited. She wasn’t going to push Penelope. 

“As I already told you, I saw Dana and Sasha go into the bathroom after you, and then they exited before you. I don’t know exactly what they told you, but when I found you, you were a wreck.”

Josie nodded. One thing that she was glad that she didn’t remember was the hateful things that Dana and Sasha had said to her.

Penelope drummed her fingers on the table. 

“You started throwing up, you’d had too much to drink, and I made sure that you didn’t choke on your own vomit. When you were done, you wanted me to leave.”

“Did you?” Josie blurted out. 

Penelope stared at her, a softness in her eyes that Josie had missed.

“How could I?” Penelope whispered, and Josie felt her heart clench in her chest. 

Penelope held her gaze for a moment, and Josie felt like she just wanted to lean in and kiss her. Seriously, Penelope was looking at her like that, and her lips looked so soft, and Josie had missed this so much, and she just wanted to kiss her.

Penelope cleared her throat and looked away, and Josie realised that she’d actually leaned forwards. She dropped back in her seat, trying to hide her blush. To her credit, Penelope didn’t make a comment about it. 

“You looked like you might drop dead if I left you alone, so I stayed. You wanted me to leave, but I convinced you to let me stay. Then you wanted to go home, so I told you I’d take you home. You didn’t exactly get on board with that idea immediately.”

Josie frowned. She couldn’t imagine herself turning down the offer to spend more time with Penelope. Then she remembered that she’d been in denial that she was still in love with Penelope. Remembered that she’d tried to convince herself to hate Penelope.

“What were my reasons?”

Penelope hesitated. Josie could practically see her arguing with herself about how much to tell her.

When Penelope went silent for a long time, Josie did something risky. 

She leaned forwards and tapped Penelope’s shaking hand. Penelope looked at her with surprise.

“It’s okay, it’s just me. You can talk to me."

Penelope sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

Josie smiled sadly.

“I know.”

Penelope swallowed.

“You didn’t want to come with me because you didn’t want to hear what everyone was saying about you. You didn’t want them to make a big deal out of us being seen together.” 

Penelope bit her lip, and Josie saw anger in her eyes. Penelope closed her eyes, clearly trying to hide the emotion in her eyes.

“And then you asked me about what happened with Dana on that night.”

Josie didn’t even need to think to know which night Penelope was referring to.

Penelope looked up at Josie.

“Do you want to know?”

Josie didn’t even hesitate.

“Yes.” Josie didn’t know what she thought had happened at this point. All she knew was that she needed to hear Penelope’s side.

“I went to her room to tell her that we were over. She forced herself on me, and she kissed me.” Penelope held Josie’s gaze, and then whispered, “I never wanted to hurt you like that. I’m sorry for lying, if I had just told the truth,” Penelope sighed, “Well, things would be different.”

Josie nodded. Everything finally made sense. Finally, she knew the full story.

Well, most of it.

She was just missing one very valuable piece. 

She didn’t know how Penelope felt about her. 

“I’m sorry for not just asking you about the truth,” Josie told Penelope, and she meant it. Maybe if she’d just asked Penelope, things wouldn’t be the way they were now. 

Penelope smiled.

“I’m sorry for not trying harder to tell you.”

She sighed.

“I guess we both made a mess of this.”

Josie bit her lip, trying to figure out what next to say.

She wanted to know where they stood, wanted to know where the lines were, wanted to know if there was still a chance of something more, or if despite all of this, Penelope didn’t hold any feelings for her.

Actually, scratch that last one.

Josie wasn’t stupid.

And over the course of this conversation, she’d realised something. 

Despite all the lies, and the hate, and the ignoring of each other, Penelope had to have some feelings towards Josie.

Had to have some love towards Josie.

Josie could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice.

The only question was, was Penelope willing to admit that?

“So, where does this leave us? Can we be friends?” Josie asked.

Penelope looked away, visibly tensing, and Josie didn’t need to her to say anything to know where this conversation was going.

Penelope wanted nothing to do with her.

Or, Penelope wasn't willing to let herself try.

Still, she waited for whatever rejection Penelope was going to give her.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if friends would be a good idea.”

Josie wasn’t surprised, but she kept pushing anyways.

“Why not?”

Penelope turned to look at her again, and Josie felt her stomach twist. Penelope had schooled her face into a mask of indifference, and her eyes were dead and cold.

“Well, we were never friends in the first place. We’re completely different people and at this point, we have way too much baggage. If we tried to be friends, it would end up in a mess.”

Penelope stood up.

“It was good talking to you. I’m glad you know the truth.”

Josie stood as well, feeling anger crawling up her throat.

“But I don’t!”

Penelope just stared at her.

“What haven’t I told you?”

“What do you feel about me?”

Penelope took a deep breath. Josie saw emotion struggling to break free in her eyes.

“Josie, don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Josie knew that other people in the diner were watching them, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t believe that Penelope was going to walk away from her again.

“Penelope please just tell me; do you have any feelings for me?”

Josie could see Penelope’s teeth clenching, could see how hard she was fighting herself.

“I don’t.”

Liar.

That was the one thought running through Josie’s mind. She nearly said it out loud, but there was a wild desperation in Penelope’s posture, and Josie knew that if she pushed any harder, Penelope would snap, and Josie couldn’t do that.

So, she just watched as Penelope turned and walked out of the diner, leaving Josie standing at the table, feeling lost and alone.

Where the fuck did this leave her?

She knew Penelope was lying, knew that she was trying to push Josie away, knew that Penelope had to feel something for her.

But how could she get Penelope to admit it?

How could she give Penelope a reason to stop hiding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's still angsty, but trust me when I say that we are getting really close to the happy bit!   
> Now, I realized a little while ago that while Penelope and Hope have both gotten their turn to tell the story from their perspective, Lizzie has not! So, next chapter, we are finally going to hear from her! You'll get somme soft Hizzie content, and you'll get to see Lizzie's opinion on things. So, that's what you have to look forward to!  
> In the meantime, have an amazing life!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want some soft Hizzie and Lizzie putting in her personal opinion about the mess that is Posie? You've come to the right place.   
> Enjoy!

It had been a week since school had started, and Lizzie was already over it.

It was time consuming, it was boring, and she had to put up with so many morons on a daily basis that it made her want to throw up in the middle of class.

Honestly, school sucked.

However, one thing that Lizzie had discovered, was that it sucked a little less when her girlfriend was there to help her.

Girlfriend. It was so fun to think of Hope as her girlfriend.

Being able to call Hope Mikaelson her girlfriend made her giddy. Like seriously, every time she said it, she wanted to go skipping through the park, and to start giggling like some idiot toddler.

Ugh, she felt like the main character of a Taylor Swift song. 

Not that Lizzie would know, because she had totally never sung along to any of Taylor Swift’s songs while thinking about Hope.

She would never do that.

What she would do however, was take advantage of Hope’s genius mind and get her to come over to help her study for their upcoming Bio test.

Seriously, having a test this early into term was just plain evil.

When Josie had exited out of the school looking like she'd just been elected queen of the world, Lizzie had to know the reason. 

It could just be the fact that Josie had finally realized that she was amazing and had unleashed her confidence, but it seemed like more than that.

“Why did you look so happy when you marched out of school today?” Lizzie had asked in the car.

“Because I just went off at Dana!” Josie had happily replied.

The rest of the conversation had just been Hope and Lizzie finding out every last detail about what Josie had said.

Needless to say, Josie had been amazing, and had actually managed to make Dana feel insulted.

The knowledge that Josie had yelled at Dana made Lizzie feel extra happy. 

She just wished that she could have been there to see the look on Dana’s face.

+++

Josie was off at the diner enjoying some peace and quiet, so Lizzie had dragged Hope up to her room to 'study', as Josie had put it, with air quotes and everything.

Lizzie looked down at Hope, who was leaning on her legs, softly singing along to the song playing from Lizzie’s speaker.

Not for the first time, she was glad that she’d finally had the chance to realise that she had feelings for Hope.

It had taken a lot of soul searching, and more than one What’s My Sexuality test on the internet, but Lizzie had managed to put the pieces together and figure out that maybe she wasn’t as straight as she’d thought.

She’d loved Raf, she really had. She’d loved the way he cared about her, loved his smile, loved how hot he looked when he played football, loved how he listened to her, had loved everything about him.

She loved Hope in the same way. She loved how Hope seemed to know her better than anyone sometimes, even better than Josie. She loved how Hope knew when to get Lizzie to talk about her problems, and when to just let her sit in silence. She loved Hope’s smile, loved her laugh, loved her blue eyes. She loved how Hope looked when she was concentrating on a painting. She loved how smart Hope was, how good a friend she was, how she never backed down from a fight.

She loved the parts of Hope that weren’t so pretty too. She loved her when she was having a tough day, loved her when her insecurities threatened to take over, loved her when she didn’t think that she was good enough.

She loved everything about Hope. 

And now, here they were, relaxing in Lizzie’s room, studying.

Well, more Hope was trying to get Lizzie to study, and Lizzie was being difficult. 

“Lizzie, this is sort of important.”

“You’re more important.”

Hope sighed, rolling her eyes playfully.

“You know, you can study with me, and admire me at the same time.”

Lizzie sighed dramatically, throwing her head back.

“But then I’ll be focused on the boring facts about how eyes work or whatever, and I won’t be able to give your pretty blue eyes my full attention.”

Hope blushed.

“You’re a brat.”

“I’m your brat.”

Hope sighed.

“If you don’t want to study, then what do you want to do?”

Lizzie smirked.

“I could think of a few things.”

Hope went even redder, finally meeting Lizzie’s gaze.

Lizzie looked into Hope’s eyes, and she could tell that they were both thinking of New Year’s Eve.

Also known as, the first time that Lizzie and Hope ever slept together.

After the whole ‘shit, Josie got blackout drunk’ panic had ended, they'd been assured that Josie was safe, and so they had decided to carry on with their night. Hope had taken Lizzie back to her place.

An important thing to note was that Hope’s dad was out doing something, meaning that they had the entire place to themselves.

One thing left to another, and well, at around two in the morning, Hope and Lizzie were lying next to each other, neither wearing any clothes.

For her first time, Hope had seemed to know what she was doing pretty well.

Seriously, she had been even better at sex than Raf. 

Lizzie was definitely going to look forwards to having Hope all to herself even more.

They’d talked for a while after, Hope tracing lazy shapes into Lizzie’s skin, neither of them able to go long without yawning or giggling.

It was amazing. 

That night, she had the best sleep she’d had in weeks.

“As much as I would love to do that, I feel like we should at least try to study first,” Hope reasoned.

Lizzie sighed and pulled away, sitting upright.

“Okay, how about this. You quiz me, and every time I get an answer right, you have to kiss me.”

Hope rose an eyebrow.

“And if you get a question wrong?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“I think it’s punishment enough that I don’t get to kiss you.”

Hope nodded, a smile crawling onto her face.

“Okay. I think we could try this.”

+++

Ten minutes later, their flashcards were abandoned, and Hope was straddling Lizzie as they made out. 

So, clearly that plan was a huge success.

Hope pulled away and laughed breathlessly.

“Was this your plan the whole time?” She asked with a grin.

Lizzie smiled innocently.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s not my fault that I happen to be brilliant at Biology.”

“And yet you asked me over here to study because you wanted help. Seems to me like you were plotting.”

Lizzie laughed, finally deciding to relent.

“Maybe I just wanted you all to myself. School’s making everything difficult, and I just want to spend time with my amazing girlfriend.”

Hope blushed.

“Well I suppose I can allow that.”

Lizzie leaned back in and connected their lips. When Hope kissed back with enthusiasm, she smiled against her lips.

She really loved Hope.

She knew that it was definitely too quick to be saying things like that, to be throwing around the word love, but Lizzie had never been one to hold back her emotions.

And she wanted to tell Hope how she felt.

She pulled back and whispered.

“I love you.”

Hope paused, pulling back a little, to look Lizzie in the eyes.

“You do?”

Lizzie nodded.

“I do.”

Hope beamed at her, and Lizzie could swear that she teared up, just a little.

“I love you too.”

Lizzie leaned in to kiss her, but Hope leaned back.

“I need to ask you something.”

Lizzie frowned.

“What?”

Hope shook her head.

“No, don’t worry, this isn’t a bad thing.” Hope grinned.

Lizzie waited for Hope to say what she wanted to see.

Hope looked like she was about to speak, and then she giggled, almost looking happier than Lizzie had ever seen her.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

Lizzie tilted her head to the side.

“We’ve already gone on dates though.”

Hope laughed.

“Well, we’ve gone to the park, and the diner, but I mean an actual genuine date. Like, we both dress up, trying to impress each other. I buy you flowers, roses, specifically. Your dad tells us not to be back too late. I set up an amazing date, say, a picnic at the park, and I set up fairy lights, and a speaker, and I pick food I know you like. I play your favourite song, and I ask you to dance with me. I take you home, and I kiss you on the doorstep. What if I did something like that?”

Lizzie was taken aback. All the dates she’d gone on with Raf had been the standard ‘movie and dinner’ or ‘trip to the diner’ or ‘coffee at the little café down the road’. 

This sounded so much different.

So much better.

Hope grinned nervously.

“Or would that be too much? If it is, you know, we can just go to the diner, or I can take you to a movie. I don’t really know what I’m doing here.” Hope ran her fingers through her hair, avoiding eye contact.

Lizzie reached out and stroked Hope's cheek, getting Hope to look at her.

“Hope, nothing you could ever do for me would be too much. If anything, it shows me that you care.”

“I do. I really care about you.”

Lizzie smiled.

“If you were to take me to the park, and set up a picnic with all the things I like, and dance with me to my favourite songs, I think I would have a wonderful time.”

“So, is that a yes?”

Lizzie laughed.

“Yes, Hope. I would love to go on a date with you.”

They both leaned in to kiss each other, but before their lips could meet, the sound of a slamming door reached their ears.

Lizzie turned to look at where the sound had come from.

What the hell?

The sound of footsteps running up the stairs followed, and then the sound of someone knocking on the door.

“Come in,” Lizzie called out. She was pretty sure that it was Josie, back from the diner, but why was she making such a commotion?

When Lizzie saw Josie’s face, a mix between heartbroken and pissed off, Lizzie knew the answer to her question before Josie even opened her mouth.

“I ran into Penelope at the diner.”

Well shit.

+++

Josie and Penelope.

At this point, the entire school was practically on the edge of their seat, watching to see what was going to happen next.

She was pretty sure that there was a betting pool going on.

She was pretty sure Hope had a bet on them. 

Lizzie had always thought that their relationship was going to end in heartbreak.

When she’d first discovered that Josie had been dating Penelope behind her back, she’d been pissed. She thought that Josie was trying to get back at her or something. Thought that Penelope was just trying to take a shot at her by dating her sister.

She’d never been very good at figuring out why other people did things. Hell, she barely knew why she did things sometimes.

Once she’d figured out that Josie was with Penelope because she wanted to be with Penelope, Lizzie had decided that she wasn’t going to stand in their way. Josie was her own person, and if she wanted to date Satan and get her heart broken, Lizzie wouldn’t stand in her way. 

She’d given Penelope a suitably terrifying speech, one that Lizzie was certain had at least somewhat gotten past the mask of indifference that she wore constantly, and Lizzie called it a day.

Whatever happened next was not her concern unless Josie wanted it to be. And if Josie wanted it to be, she could ask her.

And eventually, she did.

She decided to be the one to break the news to Josie that her and Satan were in love.

As much as it had confused and slightly disgusted Lizzie to admit, her sibling was in love with Penelope, and Penelope loved her back.

At the time, Lizzie had been very confused by why Josie was unsure about the relationship, but looking back, everything made sense. 

Of course, Josie had been confused about what Penelope felt about her, they were fake dating.

At the time, Lizzie had just told Josie to follow her heart, and that Penelope would be an idiot to reject her.

Because seriously, Penelope Park wasn’t so much of an idiot that she didn’t realise the major upgrade from Dana to Josie.

Josie and Penelope were so in love with each other that it hurt. Any time you looked over at one of them, they were staring at the other, with those big dumb lovey-dovey eyes.

And Penelope was actually a decent person now. She actually talked to Lizzie, and she had to admit, when Penelope wasn’t insulting her, their banter could be quite enjoyable.

Besides, she loved seeing her sister so happy. It was good for her. Penelope, surprisingly, was good for her.

All this teen angst was just annoying, they needed to get over themselves, and as Hope so disgustingly put it ‘on top of each other’.

When Hope had said that for the first time, Lizzie had actually shoved her off the bed.

She did not want to think about her sister’s sex life. 

The ski trip ended up sort of being a mess, unless you were counting the fact that Lizzie finally got to make out with Hope, in which case, it was a total success.

But the whole ‘Josie getting mad at Hope and Lizzie, and the ‘Josie breaking up with Penelope’, well, that part wasn’t so good.

Add that to the confrontation, and Lizzie finding out that Josie had been lying to her all this time about her and Penelope’s relationship, plus hiding the fact that she’d had a crush on Raf, and well it was sort of a train wreck.

The first two weeks of the holidays sucked. The only good thing was Hope. 

Lizzie had been mad at Hope, at first, because it turned out that Hope too knew about the fake relationship, and Josie’s feelings, but once Lizzie had realised that it wasn’t Hope’s secret to tell, she got over it.

Which meant that she got to spend a lot of time talking with and kissing her girlfriend.

When she made up with Josie, it seemed like everything was going to be okay.

She’d forgiven her sister, her sister had forgiven her, they had talked about their feelings, and Josie had given her a cute Christmas gift.

It seemed like the worst was over.

So, Lizzie decided that on New Year’s Eve, she was going to enjoy herself. 

She had been meaning to keep an eye on Josie, but she thought that her sister would be okay.

When her dad texted her, and Penelope texted Hope, they both had a mini freak-out session.

Lizzie ended up going back to Hope’s place, they slept together, and then they both came to see her the next morning.

Josie was fine, the only problem was that Penelope Park had apparently interacted with her, and Josie didn’t remember anything. 

Lizzie hoped that when they got to school, everything would be okay.

And everything was. It seemed too good to be true.

Then Penelope got herself punched by a rugby player, and it turned out that she’d been blackmailing everyone, and Lizzie remembered that nothing was ever that simple.

Which led them to now. With Penelope and Josie ignoring each other, while clearly being in love with each other.

Josie had told Lizzie multiple times what had happened at the diner that afternoon, and Lizzie still didn’t believe it.

Why the hell would Penelope say that she didn’t have any feelings for Josie? It was such utter bullshit that Lizzie nearly wanted to laugh.

If Penelope had no feelings for Josie, then Lizzie was madly in love with Landon.

That’s how absurd it was.

Lizzie was tired of it. She wondered if maybe locking them in a closet together was a viable option.

Probably not. Hope would most likely kill her. And then they'd never go on that date.

The point was, Lizzie wanted to do something to get these idiots to acknowledge their feelings. 

Josie knew about her feelings, she knew that Penelope had feelings for her, but for some reason, Josie was confused about what to do it. It was something to do with 'not knowing enough about what Penelope wanted'. Lizzie didn't really get it, but she supposed her sister was being selfless.

And dumb.

So, Lizzie needed to go to the other side of the equation and she if she could do something to break this stupid stalemate.

She needed to talk to Penelope Park.

They didn’t exactly walk in the same circles, but Lizzie was sure that soon enough she would run into her, and when she did, Penelope was getting the motivational speech of a lifetime.

And maybe a kick or two, just for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you may have guessed from the way this chapter ended, the next chapter will include a Lizzie and Penelope confrontation, and let me tell you, it is gonna be something.  
> It's been a little while since I acknowledged all the wonderful people who comment and kudos on this fic, so a massive thank you to all of you guys! You are what inspires me to keep updating and keep writing this story! Thank you so much!  
> I'll see you soon, although school has started back up again, and I've got lots of work to do, but I should be able keep updating regularly! Bye for now!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the delay, but school started back up, and I already have a ton of assignments to work on, so that's made it hard to write. But, here is the new chapter! Be excited!  
> Enjoy!

The next morning, Lizzie had a mission.

Find Penelope Park and yell at her for breaking her sisters’ heart.

It sounded like a brilliant plan, she just needed to terrify Penelope enough that she realised what an idiot she was being, and got back with Josie.

And then they could go back to their disgusting PDA, except probably now there would be added kissing.

Honestly, Lizzie could live without seeing Penelope and Josie being gross and in love in the middle of the cafeteria, but if her sister wanted to be gross and in love, then Lizzie should support her.

Seriously though, Penelope dramatically spinning Josie into her arms in the middle of the cafeteria was a little bit too much, even for her.

But, before they got back to their gross stage, they needed to get back to being able to carry a conversation without it ending in angst.

And so, Lizzie kept her eyes out, waiting for a moment when Penelope was alone, so that she could strike.

+++

Lizzie decided to walk the halls during recess, instead of sitting with her girls, because she felt too restless to just sit there.

She missed Hope already. She just wanted to see her girlfriend.

She turned a corner, and ran straight into someone. Judging by how solid they felt, it was a guy, and a footballer at that.

Great. Just what she wanted to do.

Lizzie stood up, about to apologise, when she realised who she’d run into.

Raf.

His mouth opened slightly, and his eyes widened, as he realised that she was in front of him.

It suddenly occurred to Lizzie that this was the first time that they’d interacted since he’d broken her heart into tiny little pieces.

It was the first time they’d interacted since she’d realised that Josie had sent him a love letter.

It was the first time she’d interacted with him since she realised that she had many feelings for one Hope Mikaelson.

So, suffice to say, Lizzie could already tell that this was going to be one hell of an awkward interaction.

“I’m sorry,” he stumbled out.

She shrugged.

“It could be worse. One of us could be holding a coffee.” The moment Lizzie made the joke, she realised that that exact scenario had indeed happened to them.

She’d been holding an ice coffee, and Raf, not watching where he was going, had spilt it all over her. He’d given her his hoodie, and had even gone as far as to buy her a new coffee. 

At the time, she’d felt like she was in a cheesy romcom, and she had loved it. 

She’d told him that, and he’d laughed at her. Not in a mocking way, more in the way of, ‘you are such a dork and I like you.’

He seemed to be thinking of that same moment, because he laughed.

“You’re right. And unfortunately, I wouldn’t have a hoodie to give to you.”

She shrugged.

“I could ask my girlfriend for one.” Lizzie knew that it was probably a bad idea to talk to her ex-boyfriend about her knew girlfriend, especially when they were reminiscing about the good old times, but Lizzie was still a little bit mad at him for breaking her heart.

He’d never even really given her a decent reason. Just that he ‘didn’t feel the same way about her anymore’. It was so dumb. So, she was definitely allowed to make a point of stating that she was happy with someone new. 

He cleared his throat, and looked away. There was a prolonged pause, and Lizzie was tempted to just walk away. However, this conversation had been a long time coming, and she was interested to see where else it would go.

He finally looked back up at her.

“Are you happy with her?”

Lizzie was a little surprised by his question, but she nodded anyway.

“Yeah, I’m happy.”

He smiled.

“That’s good Liz, that’s all I wanted for you.”

She sighed.

“And yet you broke up with me the day before school came back.”

He chuckled wryly.

“You’re right, that was a dick move, and you deserved way better than that. You deserved way better what I could give you.”

She nodded.

“You’re right. That’s why I finally let myself realise how I felt about Hope.”

He smiled, nodding.

“And I’m glad.”

He patted her shoulder.

“I’ll see you around Liz.”

He walked away, and she turned to look at him leave.

She’d never really healed from the wound that he’d left her, she’d instead found safety in other places, other people, but now, finally, it felt like the pain that had been lingering in her heart was gone.

She beamed. Finally. 

The bell rang, and Lizzie sighed. She’d have to find Penelope later. For now, she could be content with the fact that she finally had closure. 

+++

In the end, her run in with Penelope was completely unplanned. It happened in fourth period, when she was ducking out of Biology, half due to the fact that she needed to go to the bathroom, and half due to the fact that if she heard one more word about how sheep reproduce, she was going to throw up. 

Seriously, she was regretting taking Biology. Just because she was good at it, and good at remembering the content, did not mean that she could deal with hearing all these gross facts.

The one redeeming factor was that she got to sit next to Hope for an hour, and Hope would always make sure that they were touching in some way. 

It was very cute, and most days, it was enough to keep Lizzie from feeling too sick. Today, however, that was not the case.

As she was washing her hands, one of the stalls opened, and out walked Penelope Park.

Lizzie’s gaze zeroed in on her like the laser of a sniper, and she saw Penelope wince. Her brand-new black eye was mostly covered by make-up but she could see it’s remains.

Bryce had really done a number on her. Although she supposed that Penelope had done a number on him too. The rumours were that he’d been suspended for using drugs on campus, as well as hitting another student unprovoked.

“Penelope,” Lizzie said curtly.

Penelope schooled her features into her new ‘If you died in front of me, I would not care’ expression. Lizzie had a sneaking suspicion that she’d created that face so as to stop herself from making the ‘I’m so in love with Josie that it’s physically painful’ expression.

Honestly, Lizzie preferred the lovesick expression. At least that felt real. Right now, Lizzie felt like she was about to talk to a robot.

Penelope didn’t say anything, and instead she just started washing her hands. 

Lizzie dried her hands with a paper towel, and then turned to face Penelope, making sure that she was blocking the door.

It was showdown time.

“Satan, we need to talk.”

Penelope answered without missing a beat.

“About how stupid you look in that shirt, yeah probably.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. So, Penelope was resulting to basic insults to try and piss her off. Great. 

“Cut the crap, I don’t want to deal with your fake-ass persona right now. If I wanted to see a manufactured personality, I’d watch The Bachelor.”

Penelope rolled her eyes.

“It’s not my fault that you decided to corner me in a bathroom. Shouldn’t you be in class right now, or making out with Hope under the bleachers?”

“Oh please, I’m not Dana, I have some class. If I was going to make out with Hope, I’d do it in an empty classroom, not under the bleachers surrounded by offensive graffiti and crushed up cigarettes.” Lizzie sighed, trying to control herself. She could really lose herself in banter with Penelope. She was just so easy to fling insults at, perhaps because Lizzie knew that she’d take it with a grain of salt.

As mean as Penelope could be sometimes, they’d had some pretty fun banter.

“That’s not the point. I’m here to talk to you about Josie.”

Penelope’s whole demeanour changed at the mention of Josie. She stiffened, her eyes squeezed shut, and her hands gripped the bathroom counter so tightly that Lizzie thought it might break beneath her fingers.

“Can we not do this?”

Lizzie shook her head and stepped closer. She was going to be motivational eventually, but first, she had some telling off to do.

“You know, I actually believed Josie. She told me that you were a good person and that you weren’t going to hurt her. When you stopped being a bitch to me, I thought ‘wow, maybe she’s right’. So, imagine my reaction when she comes home multiple times, in tears because of something you did or said.”

“Well it’s not my fault that you believed the lies I fed her. To be honest, I thought you of all people would have just seen that it was a game to me.”

When Lizzie heard that, she snapped. She didn’t care if Penelope was hurting, she was being far too much of a bitch for Lizzie to just let it slide.

“You know what, fuck you Penelope. You aren’t fooling anyone, seriously. The entire school knows that you are in love with my sister. You can tell me it meant nothing, that it was just a game, sure, fine. But don’t expect me to be stupid enough to believe it. I don’t know if you’re just in denial, or if perhaps having feelings for someone is just too uncool for someone of your reputation, but this cold bitchy act needed to stop now, before you lose any chance at making Josie not hate you.”

Penelope straightened and turned to face Lizzie with fire in her eyes.

“Lizzie, do us both a favour, and don’t act like you know anything about me or what I’m doing, okay? Because you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Then enlighten me! Or is your plan too sophisticated for a normal person like me to understand?”

Penelope growled and looked away. Her fists were at her sides, clenched so tightly that Lizzie was sure there would be crescent marks on her palm.

Lizzie wondered if Penelope would hit her. 

Penelope turned back to her, and her eyes were shining with tears. When she spoke, her voice was croaky, and it sounded like she was fighting for breath.

“We both know that Josie is far too good for me. She deserves someone who isn’t going to put her through this, someone who doesn’t yell at her sister in a bathroom, someone who doesn’t lie about her feelings, someone who isn’t me. You know this. You’ve always known this. Lizzie you’ve always hated me, so please, just go back to class, tell Josie that I’m a fucking bitch and that she needs to get over me.”

Lizzie didn’t know how to react. 

She had not expected that.

“Wait, so you’re doing this, you’re acting like you don’t care, because you want Josie to hate you?”

Penelope nodded.

“But you love her?”

Penelope bit her lip, and then nodded.

“Of course, I’m in love with her. You said it yourself, everyone in this fucking school can tell how in love with her I am.”

“Then why not just get over yourself and be with Josie?” Lizzie was starting to get seriously annoyed with Penelope. What the hell was she thinking?

Penelope sighed.

“Did you listen to a word I said? Josie deserves better than me, so even though I love her, we shouldn’t be together. She’s just going to end up getting hurt. So, I have to push her away.” Penelope looked up at her, and Lizzie wondered if she was supposed to act like she didn’t see the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“You’re her twin sister. You said it yourself, she’s come home, multiple times, in tears because of me. I’m surprised that you aren’t trying to kill me right now. You of all people should know that I’m right, that I’m just going to hurt her.” Penelope looked down again, and there was silence. 

Lizzie couldn’t help it. This entire situation was so overdramatic and stupid, so, she started laughing. She started laughing so hard that she could barely breathe. She slid down the wall until she was basically sprawled across the tiles of the bathroom floor. 

“What are you doing? Stop that. Are you having a breakdown, should I get a teacher?”

Lizzie looked up at Penelope through tears of mirth. It was time to unleash her inner motivational speaker. 

She hadn’t realised that Penelope’s reasoning was so incredibly dumb. And one thing that Lizzie had learnt going through high school, was that it was incredibly hard to convince dumb people that they were wrong. This would take some effort.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you are a complete and utter idiot Penelope Park!” Towards the latter end of the sentence, Lizzie stood up, so that she was towering over Penelope again.  
Penelope blinked in surprise, but said nothing, so Lizzie steamrolled ahead.

“Josie loves you! She just wants to be with you, and you can’t fucking decide whether or not her feelings are valid. And let me tell you, she’s hurting right now, because you aren’t her girlfriend. So, if you pulled your shit together, and dated her, she’d be in a lot less pain!” Lizzie threw her arms around to emphasis her point.

Penelope just sighed and sat on the edge of the bathroom counter.

“Lizzie, I really wish that you were right. But you aren’t.”

“I’m not right about what?”

“All of it! She’s hurting right now, and we were together officially for barely a day. I’m already gone, if I came back to her, I dated her, and then I left again, she’d be even worse. I’m doing this for her. I’m a terrible person, and she shouldn’t just settle for me.” As she spoke, Lizzie noticed that Penelope was fiddling with a little green necklace that hung around her neck. If Lizzie squinted, she could make out that it was in the shape of a turtle. Weird.

Lizzie sat down next to Penelope.

“Okay, first of all, you’ve got issues. I suggest finding a therapist, seriously, talking to someone can do wonders for your mental health.”

Penelope chuckled, wiping away the remnants of her tears with the back of her hand.

“I never thought I’d be getting advice on mental health from Lizzie Saltzman, but okay.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“But seriously, I think you’re lying to yourself.”

Penelope looked up at her with a frown.

“What?”

“You’re telling yourself that this is better for Josie, that she’s the one who’s going to end up getting hurt. I think that secretly, you’re doing this because you’re scared.”

Penelope rose an eyebrow.

“And what would I be scared of exactly?”

“Josie. You’re scared of letting yourself love her, and you’re scared of how much you could end up hurt. See, I’m betting that after that big fight at our house, you completely broke down, because she hated you, and you couldn’t deal with that. Because you’d always had her there, always had this tiny hope that maybe she loved you back, but in that moment, you had nothing, and that scared you more than you thought it would. 

"So, yeah maybe you’re selfless, and maybe you do really think that you’re going to hurt Josie. I recognise self-worth issues when I see them. But you shouldn’t pretend like that’s all that this is, because I’m selfish, and I recognise selfishness in other people. That’s what I see in you. You’re being selfish as well, because if you don’t keep pushing Josie away, you might just end up shattering yourself.”

There was a moment of silence. Lizzie didn’t really know where that had come from, but she knew that it was true already. 

Penelope shoved herself off of the counter.

“I don’t think it really fucking matters. What I think matters, is that I’m not going to date Josie and that you need to stick your nose away from other people’s business.” Her voice was angry, but Lizzie didn’t know if the anger was directed towards her or Penelope herself. 

Penelope turned to leave, but then stopped. When she spoke next, her voice had lost the strength it had just possessed. 

“Lizzie can you just please not tell Josie about this? I don’t want her feeling bad, or feeling like she needs to do something. I stand by what I said; I don’t want to see Josie getting hurt again because of me. Please just don’t tell her about this conversation.”

Lizzie sighed.

“You know I can’t do that. She’s my sister and she has a right to know.”

Penelope didn’t move, she just looked at Lizzie with eyes so full of desperation that Lizzie nearly caved.

Almost.

“Lizzie please. Josie can’t know. If Josie finds out, that means that everything she’s gone through is pointless. It will only hurt her more.”

Lizzie bit her lip. Penelope was probably right. She didn’t want to see Josie crying again because of Penelope. But on the other hand, she couldn’t lie to her sister.

She could tell that Penelope wouldn’t leave until Lizzie agreed, so Lizzie gave her what she wanted. 

“Fine. I won’t tell her what you said.”

Penelope relaxed, gave Lizzie a thankful smile, and walked away.

When she was sure that Penelope was gone, Lizzie let a scheming grin onto her face. 

She wouldn’t give up on getting these two idiots together. Penelope was clearly miserable without Josie, and if she was too scared to make a move, then Lizzie would make it for her.

And if Josie was resigned to being confused about Penelope’s mixed signals, then Lizzie would have to try and clear things up for her.

Lizzie had agreed to not telling Josie what Penelope had said. But she knew that there were definitely other people who knew Penelope's reasons who could tell Josie.

She pulled out her phone and created a group chat.

**Lizzie: Alright, who here wants to see Penelope and Josie get back together?**

She expected there to be some delay, but they all responded within a minute.

They must be bored.

**Hope 😊 <3: oh fuck yes**

**Hobbit: please tell me that you have a plan because it’s straight up depressing watching them dance around each other**

**Hope 😊 <3: Also Lizzie where r u**

**Lizzie: In the bathroom, I had a run in with Penelope**

**Lizzie: the good news is, I now know what her conscious reasons for this mess are, and I have an idea about her subconscious reasons**

**Hope 😊 <3: those psychology classes really coming in handy aren’t they**

**Lizzie; oh 100%**

**Hobbit: Wait, I know some reasons, what did she tell you**

**Hope 😊 <3: You knew her reasons all along?????**

**Hobbit; well duh, she’s one of my best friends, but it’s not exactly my secret to share**

**Lizzie: basically, she thinks that if she gets together with Josie, it’s going to end in Josie getting even more hurt than she already is**

**Lizzie: also she had some stuff about how she isn’t good enough for Josie**

**Hope 😊 <3: oh even I have heard that last reason**

**Hobbit: okay so it looks like you have the main stuff**

**Hobbit: yeah Penelope lowkey has some issues**

**Hope 😊 <3: what are your hunches**

**Lizzie: I think that she’s scared of being in a relationship with Josie because she’s scared of getting hurt**

**Hobbit: I think it’s more, she doesn’t want to let herself fall completely in love with Josie, and she doesn’t want to start treating Josie like a safe place because Josie could break her heart and leave**

**Hobbit: again**

**Lizzie: explain**

**Hobbit: I don’t really know much, it’s only recently that she’s even started talking about this stuff to me**

**Hobbit: basically her dad left, and she has issues**

**Hobbit: I can’t tell you more than that**

**Lizzie: that sounds about right**

**Lizzie: okay, so Penelope isn’t getting over that stuff anytime soon on her own, so, we need to convince Josie to go to Penelope and give her a reason to be brave and ignore her fears**

**Hope 😊 <3: How do we do that**

**Lizzie: I have a few idea. Josie already wants to get Penelope back, we just need to give her this last push**

**Hobbit: is there like a time we can meet to discuss these ideas**

**Hope 😊 <3: Josie has History study time with MG at lunch today**

**Hope 😊 <3: let’s meet in the library**

+++

They do meet in the library, and while there, they come up with a plan. They’re going to go to Josie tomorrow afternoon, they are going to motivate Josie to make a move. 

Well, more just give Josie the information and the courage she needs.

Because Lizzie knows that right now, there is nothing Josie wants more than Penelope Park.

Even though Penelope has broken her heart, even though Penelope will barely spare a glance Josie’s way, Josie still loves her.

Lizzie understands. If it was Hope who was ignoring her, Lizzie would be mad, she’d lash out, she’d blame herself for not being good enough, but she’d stay in love. 

Josie loves Penelope Park, and Lizzie is not going to let her sister let her go.

Not this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all coming together now! Next time, we're going to get Josie finally connecting all the dots, with the help of pretty much everyone she knows.  
> I hope you enjoyed seeing things from Lizzie's point of view, because she was fun to write! It was also fun to write her and Penelope's conversation, so I hope you liked the way that turned out!  
> We're getting really close to the end now guys, get super hyped!!


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, and you may have noticed that we finally have an end in sight! It's sad, it's terrifying, but it's awesome! You guys are going to love what is coming next, seriously!   
> So, without further ado, here is the chapter!  
> Enjoy!

When Josie got home Wednesday afternoon, she was not expecting Hope and Landon to be sitting on the couch with her sister and brother.

They all looked up, and it was like they had rehearsed their movements. Lizzie grabbed Hope and Landon, and then led them up the stairs, looking serious. Hope was matching Lizzie’s expression, but Landon looked as confused as he usually did.

Josie turned to Pedro who was looking at her like he was trying to imitate the Principal whenever a bad kid got pulled in.

“Am I in trouble?” Josie asked, genuinely worried. 

She wracked her brain. She hadn’t done anything too bad recently, had she?

Certainly nothing that would warrant such dramatics.

He stood.

“You need to follow me,” he said, still completely serious.

Josie was actually starting to wonder if maybe one of them had committed a murder and she was about to see a dead body.

Either that or one of them was a superhero. 

Probably Hope.

She followed Pedro up the stairs, wondering if she actually needed to be concerned.

Pedro led her into her room. Josie looked around. Landon was sitting at her desk, fiddling with his hands, obviously trying not to touch her stuff. 

Lizzie and Hope were sitting on the bed with a space in between them, obviously for Josie to sit in.

Josie couldn’t see a dead body, and they didn’t look quite so serious now, so she figured that she could stop worrying about that.

“Am I in trouble or something? You guys are acting weird.”

Landon looked to Lizzie and Hope. Lizzie sighed.

“Josie, we are having a group talk session.”

“So, it’s an intervention basically,” Hope supplied. Lizzie slapped her arm.

“Pedro, you can go now," Lizzie ordered.

Pedro shook his head and dropped onto Josie’s beanbag chair in the corner.

“Nah, I want to hear the gossip.”

Lizzie sighed again; this time more frustrated.

“Fine, just don’t interrupt.”

He rolled his eyes, but nodded. Lizzie turned to Josie.

“Take a seat Jo.”

Josie didn’t move.

“What exactly is this about?”

“Penelope.”

Josie didn’t know why she’d asked. Of course, it was about Penelope. Not that she would argue that she didn’t need to talk about this. 

This conversation had been a long time coming, and honestly, Josie needed it. 

She knew that Penelope liked her, she knew that she liked Penelope, she just needed some help in getting Penelope to put her walls down.

It seemed like help was already here.

“Well, at least you aren’t telling me that you need to me to help hide a body,” she said as she sat down.

“Nah, we had that meeting on Sunday,” Landon said casually.

They all turned to look at him. When he noticed everyone staring, he rose his hands.

“Joke. Sorry,” he said, smiling sheepishly. 

Josie smiled back. He was so weird sometimes. 

She turned to Lizzie. 

“Alright, say your bit.” She knew that Lizzie 100% had a big speech planned, and it was usually a good idea to let Lizzie do her long speeches.

Lizzie stood up. Hope leaned into Josie.

“I’m pretty sure she’s been practicing this.” 

Lizzie didn’t seem to hear Hope, or Josie’s following giggle. She was too busy hyping herself up. Landon and Pedro were watching her with wide and attentive eyes. 

Lizzie began.

“Alright, so we all know that ever since you and Penelope broke up, you have both been miserable. Every interaction you’ve had has ended in you fighting, and Penelope won’t look at you in corridors. We all know that you’re both madly in love with each other, and we all know that you both want to be with each other. The only problem is that the two of you are idiots, and you can’t see what the other is feeling. So, I have gathered here a council of people who know both your and Penelope’s side of things, so that we can get through to you, and convince you to go get your girl. Do you have any questions before we begin?”

Lizzie had been pacing while she spoke, and when she finished, she turned abruptly to face Josie.

Josie blinked, trying to process.

“Uh, yeah. I know that she likes me, but madly in love with me might be a bit of a stretch. And miserable? She doesn’t exactly look super miserable. Also, why are you so invested in this?”

Lizzie groaned, throwing her head back.

“I know Penelope’s side of things. I’m in a group chat with Jed and her and she basically just whines about you. That’s the answer to your first two questions,” Landon supplied.

“And as for the last,” Lizzie continued, “I do not want to see you missing your chance to be happy, because you were too scared to chase something real that you wanted.”

Josie nodded slowly.

“Okay. Go ahead.”

“Wait. Really? No fight, no buts, no argument?”

Josie shrugged.

“I want to be with Penelope. You guys seem to know a little more than me about Penelope’s side of things, so let’s do this.”

Lizzie nodded, brushing away the surprise that had appeared on her face.

“Okay, so, let’s begin. Josie, tell us about your interactions with Penelope since the fight outside of our house.”

Josie told them what Penelope had told her about New Year’s, she told them about their fight outside the nurse’s office, and she told them about the meeting in the diner. 

She also added in how Penelope had given her a bracelet and how Josie in return had given her a necklace. Lizzie’s eyes widened.

“She was wearing that necklace when I talked to her yesterday.”

Josie held up her hands.

“Wait, what? You talked to her?”

Lizzie sighed.

“That was meant to come up later, but yes. Yesterday, I ran into her in the bathroom and I yelled at her, she yelled back, and I decided that I wasn’t going to be able to get through to her.”

“How am I supposed to get through to her then? You heard me; she won’t talk to me without shutting down completely.”

Landon winced.

“Yeah, uh, so about that.”

They all turned to look at him and he cleared his throat.

“You’ve probably figured this out already, but she’s trying to make you hate her. She’s going to kill me for telling you that, but I think it’s dumb and you deserve to know.”

Lizzie nodded.

“She told me that too.”

Josie blinked. 

Hold on.

What?

She’d known that Penelope was trying to push her away, but she was actively trying to get Josie to hate her? What the hell?

“Why the fuck is she doing that?”

Pedro cackled.

“Josie said a bad word!”

Lizzie bent down and slapped him.

“If you don’t want to hear bad words, get out of the adult’s conversation.”

“I’ll tell dad.”

“And I’ll tell dad that you’re the one who has been stealing the Kit Kats from the fridge.”

Pedro gasped.

“You wouldn’t!”

Josie clapped her hands to get their attention.

“Hi, can we please get back to the matter at hand? Specifically, the fact that Penelope is trying to get me to hate her and why? I thought she was just trying to put distance between us.”

Landon frowned.

“See, she doesn’t really tell me and Jed much about why she’s doing stuff, but from what I can tell, she wants you to hate her, so that you move on.”

Josie frowned.

“Great. She wants me to move on. The girl I want to be with literally wants me to move on. This isn’t exactly the best news. Maybe I should think about this some more by myself.”

Josie stood to leave, although where to she wasn’t sure of, considering that this was her bedroom, but Hope yanked her back down onto the bed.

“No. You don’t understand.”

Josie turned to Hope.

“What do you know that I don’t?”

Hope sighed.

“Not much unfortunately. Landon and Lizzie are the ones with the information. Just listen to them.”

Josie sighed and then turned back to the others.

“Okay. Explain.”

Lizzie and Landon looked at each other. After what seemed to be a mental discussion, Lizzie took the lead.

“Penelope wants you to hate her, because she wants you to move on. And she wants you to move on because she doesn’t want you to be in pain.”

Josie frowned.

“If she doesn’t want me to be in pain, then why does it feel like every time I talk to her, she wants to hurt me?”

Lizzie sighed and turned to Landon. He stood up.

“Okay, think of it like this. Penelope knows that she hurt you and that she broke your heart. She doesn’t want to hurt you again, so she thinks that by distancing herself, you can avoid being hurt. She also knows that you still love her, so, by pushing you away, she’s trying to get you to hate her, so that you stay away.”

Josie threw her hands up.

“None of this is giving me any proof that Penelope likes me back. All that I’m going on at the moment is a yelled declaration in a moment of heightened emotions, the fact that she gave me a necklace, and the fact that I can see it in her eyes. None of that is good enough.”

Landon frowned.

“But if you know that she cares, isn’t that enough?”

“She’s basically admitted to everyone in this room that she’s in love with you. Is that enough?” Lizzie asked.

Josie shook her head.

“She can’t just go around telling everyone else that she’s in love with me. I need her to tell me that. That’s all I need, and that isn’t going to happen at that point.”

Hope frowned.

“I have a feeling that isn’t all you need.”

Josie sighed.

“I know that she cares, but I also know that that isn’t enough for Penelope. If I go to her saying ‘I know you care’ without any proof, she’ll just shut me down again. She needs a reason to put down her walls. I have no actual confirmation. I just have mixed signals. I need to know what she’s thinking, so that I can give her a reason to stay that she’ll listen to.” Josie flopped back onto her bed, grabbed a pillow, and hugged it tightly to her chest.

“I just wish that somewhere, she’d put down her feelings in writing or something. I gave her a love letter; would it be too much to ask to get one back?”

Everyone sighed.

Then Pedro moved, sitting upright.

“Wait. Can you just say that again?”

Josie frowned.

“What?”

“Just tell me, what is it that you want from Penelope?”

“I don’t know, a love letter, or something.”

He stood up; his eyes suddenly bright with excitement.

“Would notes work?”

Josie frowned.

“What?”

Pedro turned to look at Lizzie.

“I heard Lizzie one time, back when you were fake-dating, she complained about how Penelope wrote you love notes.”

Lizzie’s eyes lit up.

“Of course! The notes! Josie, do you have any of the notes that Penelope gave you when you were dating?”

Josie frowned. She’d basically forgotten about those notes. 

“They were blank, she just folded up pieces of paper. It was just for show.”

Landon snorted.

Everyone stared at him.

“Yeah, Josie, those notes were not blank. She wrote something on every single one.”

Josie frowned.

“But I thought…” she trailed off. She didn’t really know what she had thought. To tell the truth, the notion that stuff was written on those notes had crossed her mind, but she’d never really focused on them. 

She’d been too busy trying to push her feelings for Penelope away.

Lizzie snapped her fingers in Josie’s face.

“Jo! Focus! Do you still have any of those notes?”

Josie nodded slowly.

“Where?”

Josie slid off her bed, and reached under her bed, moving her arm around until she felt it hit the box. 

She pulled it out.

“You have a box labelled Penelope?” Landon asked.

Josie glared up at him.

“I needed to deal with my feelings. This was what I came up with.”

He nodded.

“That’s probably not the worst way you could have handled things.”

Lizzie shushed him.

“Jo, are you going to open the box or not?”

“I am, just give me a moment.”

Josie opened the box, and was immediately hit by the smell of Penelope’s perfume. She wondered if the box actually smelt like that or if it was just her imagination making her think of that specific scent.

That didn’t matter right now.

What mattered was finding those notes.

She pulled out every bit of paper that was in there. She’d thrown out some, and she knew that some had gone through with the wash, but there was still a fair amount left.

She sighed, looking down at the pile of notes gathered.

Hope slid down next to her.

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

Josie smiled thankfully.

Here in front of her, were notes that Penelope had written to her, when they were dating. Josie had no idea what to expect.

Would they be actual feelings and emotions from Penelope, things she’d been too scared to say out loud?

Or would it just be meaningless fluff?

Only one way to find out.

Slowly Josie went through the notes, opening them one by one. She read each one in silence, and sorted them into a sort of timeline. The others watched with silent fascination.

When Josie had finished, she read through them all again, even though her eyes were full of tears.

_Hey Jojo_

_Guess we’re really doing this. Have to admit, it’s a pretty brilliant idea._

_😊_

_Hey Jojo, if you read this, kiss me on the cheek during English._

_Okay, so I don’t think you read these. So, I guess I can say whatever I want here._

_That’s cool, I guess._

_Hey Jojo, I think you look really pretty today. I love what you’ve done with your hair._

_Have I ever told you that I love your laugh? Because I do._

_I think it’s the loveliest sound I’ve ever heard._

_Your smile is really pretty._

_You know, some days I really wish we didn’t have that no kisses rule._

_Because seriously, seeing you looking like that makes it almost painful to not kiss you._

_Hey, I heard this lyric in a song and it reminded me of you_

_“You're the universe I'm helpless in."_

_Sorry if that's too sappy, but it's true._

_Josie, I really hope you don’t choose to read this one._

_Because I like you, and I don’t want you to know that._

_I like you so so much._

_It almost scares me how much I like you._

_If you read this note, I dare you to kiss me._

_I know you don’t read these, but if you open this one, please talk to me about whatever is bothering you instead of just pulling away. I don’t know what I did, just please tell me._

_Okay, I know you don’t read these, but you didn’t have to make it so obvious. I get it._

_I know you hate me; you don’t have to rub it in._

_Josie please just talk to me._

_I’m sorry about whatever you think you heard me say to Dana. I swear, just let me explain._

_Shit, what if you realised I like you. What if that’s why you’re pulling away, because you’re trying to let me down easy?_

_Have I fucked this up?_

_I’m sorry Josie, please just talk to me._

_I’m so glad that you’re coming on the ski trip because despite what you think, I really want to go with you._

_Josie I really like you._

_I just wish you knew how much._

_I’m sorry for pulling away these past few days, but I’m just scared._

_I know, I’m a hypocrite, but I am terrified._

_You scare me so much Josie Saltzman._

_And my feelings for you scare me even more._

_Okay, so I’m giving this to you the day before the ski trip, so hopefully you don’t read this. Or, maybe hopefully you do read this._

_I really really like you Josie Saltzman. I just might love you even. And by the end of the skip trip, we’ll be over, because I don’t want to keep you in a situation where you clearly don’t want to be._

_So, if you could be so kind, please just let me have the last few days by your side. Even if you don’t want me back, all I’ve ever wanted is you, and if I can only have you as a friend, I’ll take that._

_This will probably be my last note to you._

_So, goodbye, I guess._

_Love, Penelope._

 

Josie was silent for a long time, just processing everything.

Penelope had poured her heart out in those notes, and Josie had just acted like they meant nothing.

Penelope must have been hurting so much. Josie must have hurt her so much.

And Penelope was willing to just be friends, so that Josie was happy, because she wanted to spend time with Josie.

That was why she’d been so resistant against Josie’s attempts to break them up, she’d just wanted to keep Josie in her life.

Josie was crying again.

Here she had it.

She had written proof of Penelope’s feelings. Proof that Penelope had loved her. Proof that that Penelope had wanted to be with her. Proof that Penelope was scared of her,   
because she knew that Josie had her heart.

Josie had never realised that.

Josie had thought that she was the powerless one, the only one who could get their heart shattered in a moment.

Penelope had also been powerless. They’d both held each other’s hearts, and they’d broken them both.

Josie pulled out her phone. She remembered that Penelope had texted her about ten times after the fight. She wanted to know what Penelope had said.

Before she read the texts, she realised that she still had Penelope’s name as **Don’t Bother Answering.**

As she changed it back to Penelope, she remembered how hurt she’d felt. 

She wondered if Penelope had changed her name to something. 

**Penelope: Josie I’m so fucking sorry I got angry and jealous, call me and I’ll explain everything**

**Penelope: I didn’t go there to attack or accuse you, I let my feelings get out of hand**

**Penelope: I’m sorry**

**Penelope: Please just text me back, I want to explain everything, please I don’t want to lose you**

**Penelope: I went to Dana’s room to tell her that me and her were over for good. I told her that I loved you. She kissed me, and she tried to get me to stay with her. I left. Josie, I don’t want her.**

**Penelope: Josie, the only person I want is you, can’t you see that**

**Penelope: it’s like the notes all over again, I pour my heart out, and you can’t be bothered to see**

**Penelope: sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, that was wrong**

**Penelope: I’ll wait for you, for as long as you need, because I’m not giving up on this just yet**

**Penelope: Josie please.**

Penelope didn’t want to lose her. 

Suddenly, Josie was hit with another realisation. Another memory.

The two of them in the diner, talking about relationships and insecurities. 

Penelope staring down at the table. 

_It really makes you wonder if you’re worth anything, when the people closest to you leave._

Penelope had cared about her. 

And Josie had left. 

Penelope had left too, Penelope had been the one to storm away, but Josie was the one who shut her out.

Josie was the one who had made her unable to stay.

Penelope had spent all this time, scared of how Josie was going to hurt her.

Josie had had a breakdown that night, it only made sense that Penelope had had one too.

Penelope struggled with being good enough for the people she loved.

Josie had known this.

And she’d still left.

And now Penelope thought that she wasn’t good enough for Josie.

And now Penelope wanted Josie to move on, because she wanted Josie to be happy.

Even if it meant that she herself was sad. 

Because Penelope loved Josie, but didn’t think that she deserved to be loved back.

Josie looked at the second last text that Penelope had sent her. 

**Penelope: I’ll wait for you, for as long as you need, because I’m not giving up on this just yet**

Penelope had said she would wait. Josie knew that even behind the mask, behind all her coldness, those emotions still existed.

She knew that some part of Penelope was still waiting.

Josie knew then, with absolute certainty, that she needed to give Penelope her reason now. 

A reason to believe that Josie was all in.

A reason to believe that their love was enough.

A reason to believe that she was enough.

Josie looked up at her friends.

“I’m texting Penelope to meet. I need to talk to her. I need to make this right. I need to fight for her.”

The room basically exploded in a chorus of cheers. Landon punched the air and then high-fived Pedro.

Lizzie swept Hope off the floor and hugged her. Josie was just glad that they didn’t start making out.

Josie laughed.

“You guys really need to get a hobby.”

Hope kicked her.

“And you need to go get your girl.”

Josie smiled and set about writing her text.

Once she was done, she passed it to everyone in the room to check that it was perfect.

They all approved.

With trembling fingers and confidence Josie was finally getting used to, she hit send.

**Josie: I’m sorry. I know it’s probably too late, but I just had a realisation. We need to talk. Can we meet up tomorrow after school? I have some things I need to say, and I’ve waited too long already to say them. I’m sorry for not reading these texts sooner. Please don’t shut me out, I just need to talk to you.**

She put her phone to the side, and put her head in her hands.

She was pretty sure that she was going to be waiting a long time for a reply.

But there would be a reply.

Josie knew that she'd drop everything in a heartbeat for Penelope, she knew now that Penelope felt the same way.

Hope patted her knee.

“I’m proud of you Jo.”

Josie looked up and smiled.

“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome that you are taking a chance on this,” Landon added.

Lizzie sat down next to her.

“And if she doesn’t text back, then I’ll track her down and yell at her again.”

Josie laughed.

And then her phone vibrated.

**Penelope: Okay. Where do you want to meet?**

**Josie: Can we meet at the park? The one with the green slides?**

**Penelope: Okay. I’ll see you there.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally found out what was on the notes that Penelope wrote to Josie! Josie is going to talk to Penelope! Josie is going to give Penelope a reason to stay!  
> I know I'm the writer, but let me tell you, this is very exciting for me, and I hope it's exciting for you too! So, tell me, did you like the notes? Did you like the 'intervention'? Tell me all of your thoughts and feelings!  
> I'll see you soon, and trust me, this next chapter is The One You Have Been Waiting For!


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! It's 5k, it's the Chapter You Have Been Waiting For, and it is finally here!! I won't hold you any longer!  
> Enjoy!!

Josie was expecting to be a nervous wreck the next day. And to be fair, she wasn’t exactly calm. 

Every now and then she’d look down at her hands, and she’d catch them shaking. 

Or she’d look over at Penelope and she’d feel her heart beating so fast that it felt like it was going to break out of her ribcage, and her palms became so much sweatier than they usually were.

But, for the most part, she was able to keep her emotions in check.

She didn’t really focus on school though that day.

She was too busy formulating a plan of what to talk to Penelope about.

Josie decided that she needed to include an apology. She needed to say sorry for overreacting during the fight and for hurting Penelope. She could probably apologise again for how she’d pushed Penelope away during their fake relationship.

After seeing the notes, after truly understanding how hurt Penelope had been, she definitely needed to do that.

She also needed to confess her feelings. She needed to go all out, to tell Penelope that she loved her, that she wanted her, and that she never wanted to go another day without Penelope by her side.

It might be dramatic, but Josie needed Penelope to understand how much she meant to her.

And then, most importantly, Josie needed to get Penelope to tell Josie the truth. She needed to get Penelope to admit the way she really felt, and she needed to give Penelope a reason to stay, instead of continuing to push Josie away.

Josie had figured out why Penelope kept pushing her away. She didn’t think that she was good enough for Josie, so Josie needed to show her that she was.

Penelope was stubborn, incredibly so, which meant that Josie was really going to have to fight to get Penelope to listen.

She’d brought Penelope’s notes to school. She figured that having written proof would be a good idea.

It was also important to note that Penelope kept looking at her. 

Josie’s eyes would slide across the room, just to casually look at Penelope, like she had been doing this past week, and she’d find Penelope looking at her too. The first few times it happened, they both looked away, and Josie nearly had a heart attack.

After a while though, when their eyes met, they didn’t look away. They just held each other’s gaze, and Josie almost felt like they were challenging each other, trying to see who would look away first.

Josie expected it to always be Penelope.

It wasn’t. 

Sometimes Penelope would hold her gaze for so long that Josie forgot that she was in class, and had to pull herself back to reality.

It felt like Penelope was trying to ask her something, and Josie couldn't help but wonder what.

What do you want from me Josie?

What do you want to talk about this afternoon?

Why are you still trying to talk to me?

Why do you still care about me?

Why do you still love me?

+++

The day ended after what felt like an eternity, and suddenly Josie was at the car, climbing into the passenger seat. 

Lizzie was going to drive her home. 

Josie was going to drop off her school stuff, and maybe get changed.

Then Josie was going to drive herself to the park.

Lizzie had asked if Josie wanted to be driven, and considering Josie’s utter lack of talent when it came to driving, she nearly accepted.

But she didn’t, because she knew that she needed to do this for herself. 

This was another step towards being the person she deserved to be.

Lizzie turned to face her as she pulled out of the school carpark.

“Are you nervous?”

Josie shrugged.

“I’ve been worse, surprisingly. But still, that doesn’t mean that I’m not terrified of what could happen if this doesn’t go the way I want it to.”

Lizzie lifted one hand off the steering wheel, and squeezed Josie’s hand.

“It’s going to be fine. Better than fine actually. You’re going to get Penelope to confess her feelings, and then the two of you are going to be together, and you’re going to try and fight Hope and I for the position of power couple at this school, and you will lose. It’s just how it’s going to be.”

Josie laughed. 

“Thanks Lizzie. You’re a good twin sister.”

Lizzie shrugged.

“And you’re pretty good too.”

Josie smiled.

They spent the rest of the ride home in comfortable silence. 

+++

Before Josie left the house, Hope came to talk to her.

“I know Lizzie’s already pep talked you, but I thought that as your best friend, I should say something.”

Josie smiled and stood up.

“Alright. Say your bit, and then I’ll head out.”

Hope stepped forwards and placed her hands on Josie’s shoulders.

“You are awesome. You are cool. You are super-hot. You are going to go to that park, and you’re going to get the girl and nothing will stop you. I believe in you, go do this thing.”

Josie nodded.

“Thanks Hope. You’re the best.”

Hope winked.

“Don’t I know it. Now go. Penelope Park awaits.”

She tapped Josie’s shoulders and then walked out of the room. Hope followed Josie down the stairs and to the door.

Hope sighed.

“They grow up so fast.”

“You are not that much older than me.”

“I still reserve the right to be annoying about age.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Alright, I’m gonna go. You have fun ‘studying’ with Lizzie, or whatever your excuse is this time.”

Hope gasped in mock offense.

“Josie Saltzman, are you suggesting that I am a liar? I would never.”

Josie laughed and climbed into the car.

“Don’t crash on you way there!” Hope called out to her. 

“I won’t!” Josie yelled back, smiling as she started the car. 

It was time to go.

+++

Josie gripped the wheel tightly as she finally pulled into the park’s car park.

She’d nearly died a few times getting here, so she had to make this worth it.

She had the notes in her bag. 

She’d changed her outfit to a yellow sweater, and a blue plaid skirt. She made sure that her bracelet was clear to see. She’d left her hair out, exactly the way Penelope had once told her she liked it.

She had rehearsed parts of what she was going to say, and she had a plan.

This needed to go perfectly.

Josie parked, and slowly, climbed out of the car.

The park was empty. It was a fairly cold afternoon, and people didn’t come here that often anyways. They preferred the newer park, the bigger park, the one with the big yellow twisty slide and the climbing equipment.

Josie had chosen this park for a specific reason, and it wasn’t just that she knew no one would be here.

Although that was an added bonus. 

If there was a scene, no one would be here to see it.

Josie tugged on her sweater sleeves, and sat down on one of the swings.

It creaked a little and Josie wrapped her hands around the cold rusted metal chains.

This place had seemed so much bigger when she was a kid, but she figured that was because she was a lot smaller too.

She could still remember everything perfectly though.

Just as she was about to slip into pleasant reminiscing of her childhood, a voice called to her from across the park.

“Josie.”

Josie stood and turned to face the owner of the voice.

There she was.

Wearing a black sweater off the shoulder, standing in the middle of the grass, with the beginning of a smile on her face, was Penelope Park.

Josie let herself smile, and felt her heart fill with warmth.

This was the girl she loved.

That was the moment she knew that she had to do this.

She couldn’t lose this girl.

“Penelope.”

Penelope smiled back, and Josie’s heart leapt.

They stared at each other for a moment, not saying anything. 

Josie drank in Penelope’s smile, it felt like forever since it had been directed at her.

Penelope broke the silence.

“You look pretty.”

“You do too.”

Penelope took a step towards her, uncertainty clouding her features.

“Why are we here Josie?”

Josie swallowed, and then slowly, held out her hand to Penelope.

Penelope hesitated for a moment, as if considering whether or not to run away, but then she walked over to stand in front of Josie.

“Josie,” she said again, and Josie enjoyed the way it sounded like a prayer. Like her name was something sacred.

Josie didn’t want to look away, but she feared if she didn’t, she might kiss Penelope.

She couldn’t do that.

Not yet.

So, she looked over at the playground.

“Do you know why I picked this place?” She asked, turning her gaze back to Penelope.

Penelope frowned.

“What does that have to do with why we’re here?”

Josie shrugged.

“In a way, yes.” Josie walked over to one of the swings and sat down again. Penelope watched her with confusion. 

Her confused frown turned into a confused smile when Josie started trying to swing back and forth.

“Josie, what are you doing?”

“I’m reliving childhood memories!”

In truth, Josie had no idea what she was doing. She’d meant to start off with the apology. 

When things came to Penelope, they rarely went to plan.

So, she decided to just go with this, to trust this little whim that had overcome her.

She hoped it would lead her to Penelope’s arms. 

She swung back and forth, increasing height and speed somehow, despite the fact that this was clearly not a swing intended for a teenager.

Penelope laughed, and Josie laughed with her. 

An idea occurred to her.

“I’m going to jump now!” She called out.

“What?” 

Josie leapt from the swing, just at the right moment, and she flew through the air. 

It felt like she was flying.

This was exactly how she’d felt when Penelope had kissed her.

Giddy and far too high off the ground to ever come back down.

But she had to. And when she did, she was not expecting Penelope to be right in front of her.

Josie landed and then immediately stumbled forwards.

Penelope caught her, one hand grabbing Josie’s, one placing itself on her waist to steady her.

They were so very close, and Josie really wanted to kiss her.

So, in what was a probably a terrible idea, she told Penelope that.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

Penelope’s eyes widened, and Josie swore that she could hear her heart speed up.

“Josie, we can’t.”

Josie pouted and took a step back.

“I know. That’s why we’re here.”

Penelope frowned, her hands falling to rest at her sides. Josie already missed the contact.

“Josie, please explain what you mean.”

“We need to talk.”

“We’ve done that before. It doesn’t seem to end well for us.”

“Well maybe that’s because we’re holding ourselves back. You haven’t been honest with me, and I’ve been far too guarded with you.”

Penelope sighed.

“With good cause. Josie, we’ve hurt each other, we can’t go back.”

“So, let’s go forwards. Let’s talk, let’s apologize for hurting each other, and let’s do what we want to do.”

Penelope shook her head.

“Josie, you shouldn’t want that. I hurt you, remember? I broke your heart, and don’t try to tell me that I didn’t because I was there, okay? I saw the look in your eyes.”

Josie stepped forwards. Penelope stepped back.

“But I hurt you too, remember?”

Penelope shook her head again, and stepped forwards, grabbing Josie’s hands.

“You don’t need to apologize again. You’ve done nothing but apologize. I forgive you, okay?”

Josie shook her head, squeezing Penelope’s hands.

“No, but I didn’t apologize for the right thing. I’ve apologized for overreacting. I’ve apologized for not listening to you. I’ve apologized for the way I pushed you away. But what I haven’t apologized for is how I made you feel on that night. Because I didn’t think about that, and that was wrong.” Josie took a deep breath. Penelope watched her, a small furrow in her brow.

“I’m sorry for what I said on that night, because I said everything that I did just to hurt you. I’m sorry that I called you selfish, because you aren’t. I’m sorry that I called you obnoxious, because you could never be that. I’m sorry that I called you evil, because while everyone else never bothered to look beyond your mask, I did, and I’m sorry for acting like I hadn't seen the real you. I shouldn’t have hurt you like that. I shouldn’t have picked out things to say that would specifically target your insecurities like that.”

Penelope looked away, and she pulled her hands back. 

“It’s okay. You were hurting, I get it.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

Penelope sighed, and shoved her hands into her pockets.

“Did you bring me here just to apologise? Because you didn’t need to do that.”

Josie shook her head.

“Like I said, I want to talk. I want to talk about that fact that you keep pushing me away. I didn’t get it, but well, I talked about it with some people, and I thought about it, and now I think it get it.”

Penelope laughed bitterly.

“Oh, you think you get it? Tell me, why I am doing it?”

“You think that you aren’t good enough for me. You think you’re going to hurt me.”

Penelope shook her head.

“So, who spilled the beans? Was it Lizzie? Your fucking sister really can’t stick to a promise can she?”

“Actually, I figured it out myself.” 

Penelope looked up at her with surprise clear in her eyes. Josie pushed on.

“I know you Penelope, I know you probably better than anyone else. You told me once that when your dad left, you thought that maybe it was because you weren’t good enough. I know that you still struggle with that. The whole school basically has this manufactured vision of you in their heads, and I know that sometimes even you forget that they’re all lies.”

Penelope sighed, and Josie could almost see her walls starting to crack.

“Okay. You’re right. I’m not good enough for you. You deserve better, you deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you like this,” Penelope told her.

“You’re wrong. I want you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t.” Penelope stepped away.

“Are we done now? You’ve figured it out, you know why I’m pushing you away, and you know me, I’m not going to budge.” She took another step away from Josie.

Once upon a time Josie would have let her walk away.

But not today. 

“That’s not all though, is it? You aren’t just pushing me away because you think I deserve better. You’re also scared.”

Penelope chuckled wryly.

“I’m not fucking scared.”

“It would be okay if you were.”

“Why does everyone think that I’m scared? I’m not!” Penelope shouted, tearing her eyes away from Josie. 

Josie stepped forwards.

“Why would that be such a bad thing? I’m scared of a lot of things. I’m scared of driving, I’m scared of big crowds, I’m scared of standing up to bullies, I’m scared of heights, because I’m scared of the fall. I’m scared of losing Lizzie, or Hope, or my dad, or Pedro. Everyone is scared of some things, that’s just how life is. We’re all terrified of so much, and sometimes we just want to run and hide and pretend that our problems don’t exist. But we can’t always do that. Sometimes we need to be brave, we need to stand up to our fears.” Josie stepped even closer, taking Penelope’s hands again, forcing her to make eye contact.

“I’m scared of driving, but I drove here, just because I wanted to talk to you. I’m scared of big crowds, but I went to parties with you, I made out with you in front of the school. I’m scared of standing up to bullies, but I looked Dana in the eye and I told her what I think of her. I’m scared of falling, but I fell for you, so fucking hard that I don’t think I’m ever going to stop. I’m scared of losing people, I’m fucking terrified of it, and don’t lie to me, I know that you are too. I’ve gone through times these past few months where I thought I’d lost Hope, or Lizzie, but I fought for them, and they’re still by my side.”

Josie rose her hand, still clutching Penelope’s and placed directly over her own heart. She was sure that Penelope would be able to feel how fast it was beating.

“I’m terrified of you, not because I think that you’re bad for me, but because I don’t think that you’re going to give us a chance. Because I think that you are going to walk away from us, even though we both know that this is all we want. I’m scared, because I have given you my heart, and I don’t know what you’re going to do with it. But this is what love is Penelope. It’s being scared of heartbreak, but being brave and loving anyways. It’s being terrified that of what the other might do, but trusting that it’s going to be the right move. It's about learning that you don't have to be afraid. We can be brave together; we can trust together. But I just need you to tell me the truth.”

Josie stopped, feeling out of breath. She had no idea where that had come from, but she believed every word of it. 

Penelope had tears streaming down her face. She opened her mouth, and Josie heard her struggling to speak.

Josie tugged her forwards into a hug, enveloping her in her arms. 

Penelope broke, sobbing into Josie’s shirt. 

For a moment, they just stayed like that, Penelope sobbing in Josie’s arms, both of them feeling so scared, but full of love at the same time.

Then Penelope pushed herself away, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was scared of what she might do if she didn’t.

“No, you don’t get it Josie. I can’t be scared of you. I can’t be scared of getting heartbroken, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because then I’m exactly who I think I am, I’m exactly who you said I was!” Penelope shouted, and the words echoed across the park. She stopped, breathing heavily, and then barrelled forwards.

“If I’m scared of you, then it means that I yelled at you because I was scared. It means that this whole time I’ve been pushing you away because I was scared. And if I was scared, then it means I was selfish. Don’t you get it? If I’m scared of you, then I am exactly the selfish and evil person you accused me of being! It means that I am bad for you, it means that I’m not good enough. If I’m scared then I’ve hurt you, over and over again, because I’m selfish. 

"So, I can’t be scared. Because while I know that I’m not good enough, and I could never be enough, I want to know that at least I would never be the person you saw me as on that night. I don’t ever want to be the person the school sees me as. The school sees me as someone who breaks hearts just to protect her own. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to do that to you. I can’t fucking be that person, because I have tried every day with you to be better, and if I can’t be better, then there’s no hope for me!”

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and every sentence was punctuated by a sob or a gasp. 

Penelope fell to the ground, hands fisted in her hair, pulling so hard that Josie thought she might tear out every strand.

Josie recognized the signs. She’d seen them before with Lizzie.

Josie moved forwards, stopping so that she was hovering just in front of Penelope, not too close to freak her out.

“Penelope, hey, I need you to focus on me right now, okay? Just focus on the sound of my voice, don’t think about anything else. Can you hear me? Do you understand?”

Penelope’s head was still buried between her legs, but her hands had fallen to wrap around her knees.

Her head bobbed a few times, indicated that she had heard Josie.

“Okay, just focus on your breathing for me. Nice and steady now, in and out, okay?”

Josie talked to her for a little longer like that, just getting Penelope to calm down. Eventually, Penelope slowly unfolded from herself. Josie rested a hand on her knee.

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” Penelope sniffled.

“Had that ever happened to you before?”

“Yeah, not usually that bad though.”

Josie nodded.

“It’s okay, I’m here.”

Penelope shook her head slowly.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why are you still here? I basically just admitted that I’ve been hurting you this whole time because I’m a selfish bitch. Why are you still here?”

“I couldn’t just leave you when you were like that. Besides, I love you Penelope. And you aren’t a selfish bitch.”

“I am.”

“You aren’t. Like I said, it’s okay to be scared. Like I said, I’m scared of you. I forgive you for pushing me away. But please, just let me be there for you. I want to be there for you.”  
Penelope sighed.

“I’m just…” she sighed again.

“I’m scared of you because I have never felt this way about anyone before. It’s all consuming. And when you said that stuff to me that night,” Penelope shook her head and sniffled, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that low. I just went straight into self-protection mode, like when my dad left, and I didn’t even realise. I just kept making excuses. Fuck.”  
Penelope ran her shaking fingers through her hair.

“I don’t think I even realised how bad I got that night.”

“And that’s where my next apology comes in. I’m so sorry for hurting you like that. I never wanted to make you feel like that. All I wanted was you. I just want to be with you.”

“I know.” Penelope wiped at her eyes.

“Are you sure you love me? Are you sure that you want to be with me? The whole ‘pushing you away thing’, isn’t that enough to prove that I’m going to hurt you? That I’m right about that at least?” Penelope asked, doubt weighing heavily on her words.

“No. If anything, it proves that you care. If you didn’t, you’d just let me in and manipulate me. Penelope, you aren’t the horrible person you think you are. And you care about me. I don’t know how much you care, but I know that at least you do.”

Penelope laughed. It started out nearly sob sounding, but then Penelope was full on howling with laughter. When she finally looked back at Josie, the tears in her eyes were ones of mirth.

“Of course, I care about you Josie. I can’t lie to you about that. I’ve tried, it didn’t work. I care so fucking much about that the entire fucking school knows.” Penelope suddenly rose to her feet, grabbing onto Josie’s hand and pulling her up.

“Josie, look. I love you so fucking much that it hurts. I love everything about you. I love your smile, your laugh, your hair, your clothing style. I love your sense of humour, I love the way you lean over to me to make a joke, I love the way that your face scrunches up when you’re confused. I love your adorable little pout. I love the way that you care too much, I love the way that you can make friends with anyone if you try hard enough. I love the way you sing, and the lyrics to the songs that you write. I love your imagination; I love the way you’re filled with this childlike wonder and appreciation of the world.

“I love the parts of yourself that you don’t love. I love how shy you get around new people. I love how childish you act when your drunk. I love the way that you take care of your siblings. I hate the fact that you don’t think that you’re good enough, I hate that you don’t think you’re a shining star, because Josie, you’re the fucking sun. I hate the fact that I hurt you, I hate that I’m scared of my feelings for you, because no one should be scared of that, because loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, but also the hardest, because I don’t think there is any way to express the way I feel about you. 

“I’m sorry for kissing Dana, because after kissing you, there is no one else I wanted to kiss. I’m sorry for lying to you, because I knew how much it would hurt you, and I did it anyway. I’m sorry for lashing out at you at your house, I was stupid and jealous, and scared, and I should have just stayed there apologizing and explaining over and over until you finally heard me. I’m sorry for pushing you away, I’m just scared, and I still don’t think I’m worthy of you because Josie, you are the most extraordinary person I have and will ever meet in this universe.”

Penelope finally paused for breath; her eyes full of passion. 

Josie’s eyes were filled with tears. This was everything, more than everything she’d wanted to hear from Penelope. And it wasn’t too early, or too late, or nothing but a lie. 

It was right.

“Josie, I still don’t think I deserve you, and I still don’t think I’m worthy of you, and I don’t think I can ever be sorry enough about how I’ve hurt you.”

Penelope was about to pull her hands from Josie’s, but Josie tightened her grip.

“Penelope, I love you too. So much. I could write entire songs, entire symphony’s about how I feel about you. I could write endless lyrics about your turtle smile, or how nice your hair feels when I run my fingers through it, or the way your face lights up when you see an animal, or the way you laugh when I tell you something funny. And your eyes, they’re amazing, but I like them the best when they show exactly what you’re feeling. And don’t get me started on who you are as a person. You are so funny, and intelligent, and strong, and kind, even though you don’t think you are, but I’ve seen you with the people you care about, and I know that you would give anything to make sure that they’re happy. 

“You aren’t flawless, but I wouldn’t want you any other way. I love you, even though your emotions sometimes get the best of you, because I know that you fight hard every day to be good, and trust me Penelope, you are a good person. You are so good, despite what everyone says about you, despite all the people who left without giving you a second chance. I’m sorry that I left, I shouldn’t have done that, because you are worth staying for.

“I love so much about you, and you should never feel like you aren’t good enough for me, because you are everything that I’ve ever wanted. I just wanted someone who wanted me back, someone who listened to me, someone who held me when I was sad, someone who made me laugh when I didn’t want to, someone who saw me for me. You’ve always seen me. You’ve always been enough.”

Penelope looked at her, eyes shining with tears.

Josie’s next words came out as barely a whisper.

“I want you Penelope. I love you Penelope. And right now, I really want you to stop fighting this, and just let yourself be.”

Penelope held her gaze for a heartbeat. Josie felt like the entire world had stopped spinning, like gravity itself was holding its breath.

Penelope nodded.

And she didn’t run away.

Instead, she leaned in. 

Penelope kissed Josie, and it felt like a promise.

_I love you._

Josie kissed Penelope back, and it felt like acceptance.

_I know._

It was a cold afternoon, but in that moment, Josie had never felt warmer.

She felt like she was glowing.

She felt like she was flying.

She felt like she was dying.

It wouldn’t matter if she was.

If she was going to die, then kissing Penelope Park was a good last memory.

Penelope’s hands cupped her face, and Josie moved her own to grip Penelope’s shoulders and pull them impossibly closer.

Penelope made a little noise that was halfway between a moan and a sigh of contentment.

Josie smiled into the kiss.

They were both unaware of everything else.

Time was meaningless.

The sun may have spun around the earth so much that it became dizzy and fell towards them.

Their world may have burned to ashes beneath their feet.

They wouldn’t have noticed.

Penelope was the one to break the kiss, and when she did, she placed their foreheads together.

Josie was reminded of that night, after the hot tub, when Penelope had kissed her goodnight.

She didn’t think it was possible to feel happier than she had then, but right now, she was.

“I’m not leaving you again Josie.”

“I’m not leaving either.”

Penelope smiled.

“Good. Because I don’t want you breaking my heart Jojo.”

Josie heart didn’t just skip a beat when it heard the nickname.

It skipped all the way around her lungs and stomach. Josie felt like she was on fire.

“I won’t. Never again.”

Penelope grinned, the exact grin that Josie had fallen for the first time, back when they were just kids. 

When Penelope kissed her again, Josie knew for certain that this was exactly where she was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY KISSED AND THEY'RE TOGETHER CAN I GET A SCREAM OF JOY!!  
> I love this chapter, and I really hope that this was everything you wanted, and that it was worth the wait! Now, onto Posie fluff, and lots of it! That's right, the next three chapters are so soft and fluffy, and to be honest, it's what we as Posie shippers need right now. So, again, I hope that you loved this chapter, and please feel free to scream all of your emotions at me in the comment section!


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone order Posie fluff? Because I have a chapter full of it!  
> Enjoy!

They kissed for a really long time.

Not that Josie was complaining, because kissing Penelope was a luxury that she intended to take as much of as she could get.

Especially after going without it for so long. 

Josie made a mental note to kiss Penelope every single day from now on.

Eventually though, they broke apart, and they just stared at each other, breathing heavily. 

Penelope’s eyes really were so pretty. Josie decided that one day she had to try and map out the constellations in them. 

Penelope’s lips curved into a smile.

“What are you thinking Jojo?”

“I’m thinking about how pretty your eyes are.”

Penelope smiled.

“You’re cute.”

“You’re cuter.”

“Incorrect. You’re cuter, I am clearly hotter.”

Josie playfully shoved Penelope away. As soon as she did, she realised that the afternoon was actually cold, and it was winter, so everything was a lot darker than Josie had thought.

She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered.

Penelope smirked over at her.

“Are you cold?”

“It’s winter and I’m in a skirt. Of course, I’m cold.”

“Well, you know I can always warm you up,” Penelope said, walking back to Josie, wrapping her arms around Josie's waist.

Josie shivered again, this time, not from the cold.

“As much as I would love to keep making out with you in this park that I spent half my childhood in, we should probably head back. It’s getting dark, and I don’t want to stabbed by any drugged-out college kids coming here," Josie told Penelope.

Penelope laughed.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Penelope you wear a cape to school on the regular, and we literally just shouted love confessions at each other.”

Penelope tilted her head to the side, smiling, a twinkle in her eye.

“Touché Miss Saltzman.”

Josie looked back to her car.

“Did you drive here?”

Penelope shook her head.

“My house is like a five-minute walk away.”

Josie held out her hand.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.”

Penelope laughed.

“What a gentlewoman you are Jojo. Very well, I’ll go with you, but if you hit a single mailbox, I’m taking the wheel.”

Josie rolled her eyes, but smiled when Penelope entwined her fingers with Josie’s.

It felt really nice to be able to hold her hand again.

They got in the car, and Josie decided that they should wait for the heater to start up before they drove anywhere.

Really, she was just trying to use any excuse to not let this moment end.

Penelope stared at her.

“If you’re that scared of driving, I can take the wheel you know.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

Josie shrugged, failing to hide the blush that coated her cheeks.

“I kinda want to keep spending time with you.”

Penelope squeezed her hand.

“Okay. Then I’ll go home with you.”

Josie turned to look at her with surprise. 

Penelope shrugged.

“If I tell my mum that I’ve gone home with Josie Saltzman, she will immediately let me do whatever I want, as long as I tell her everything when I get home.” Penelope laughed.

“You know, when we broke up, she was so disappointed. She really liked you. Every time I’ve mentioned you since she’s been all ‘so when are you going to get your head out of your ass and get your girl back’.”

Josie laughed.

“That sounds like her.”

Penelope grinned.

“So, can I come back to your place, or is that too much right now? Because if it is, that’s cool.”

Josie shook her head.

“Not too much at all. Although you will have to deal with Lizzie. And probably Hope. She basically lives at my house now.”

Penelope laughed.

“I think I can put up with the two of them if it means getting to spend more time with you.”

Josie nodded.

“We should talk a bit more.”

“Didn’t we just do that?”

“I think yelling love confessions and confessions of insecurities doesn’t exactly count as talking.”

Penelope nodded.

“Okay Jojo. We’ll talk.”

+++

Josie wasn’t sure she’d ever seen so many emotions go through her dad’s face when he saw her walking into the kitchen holding Penelope’s hand.

Josie had decided that her dad should probably know about the development in her relationship.

And if he walked in on them making out later, well, at least he’d be prepared.

When he saw Penelope, his first emotion was surprise, then he looked at their entwined hands, and it was understanding, and then he looked at their faces, which were holding nervous grins, and then he went through confusion, understanding of probably too much, and then he finally landed on happiness.

“So, you’re back together?”

Josie nodded.

“For real this time?”

Josie beamed and nodded.

Penelope looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“He knows?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

He nodded at the two of them.

“Is Penelope staying for dinner?”

Penelope nodded and then added hastily.

“If that’s okay with you Dr Saltzman.”

He beamed.

“Of course, it’s okay. We’re having roast beef, is that alright?”

Penelope nodded.

“Good. Well then, I’ll see you at dinner. Oh, and when I knock on the door, you should be aware that you have only one second to pretend that you weren’t doing whatever you were doing.”

Penelope blushed and looked down, biting her lip. Josie suspected that the lip biting was to stop herself from making an inappropriate joke.

Josie just smiled and tugged Penelope upstairs.

+++

Josie shut the door and turned to face Penelope.

“Hi.”

Penelope smiled and stepped forwards.

“Hi.”

Just as their lips were about to meet, the door flew open.

Josie turned around, knowing exactly who it was at the door.

Lizzie and Hope stood there, Lizzie with her jaw hanging open, and Hope with a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Well, look at you two lovebirds. You finally kissed and made up, huh?” Hope said, her grin stretching from ear to ear.

Lizzie shut her mouth, and stalked up to Penelope. She was silent for a moment, narrowing her eyes at Penelope.

Penelope just held her ground, smiling up at Lizzie innocently.

Josie’s gaze drifted to Hope, who gave her a thumbs up and a wink.

Josie subtly gave her a thumbs up back, and did not attempt the wink.

Lizzie finally spoke.

“I’d say I’ll kill you if you hurt my sister again, but I get the feeling you won’t make that mistake twice. So, I’ll just settle for telling you that if you’re going to take her virginity, have the decency to do it either at your house or when I’m not at home. I don’t want to hear that.”

“Lizzie!” Josie yelped, going redder than she had ever gone.

And that was saying something considering the experiences she’d gone through over the past year.

Penelope was unfazed.

“Virginity is a social construct.”

Lizzie nodded and held her hand out to Penelope.

“Good answer.”

They shook hands, Lizzie nodded at Penelope again, and then looked over at Josie.

She mouthed ‘I’m proud of you’.

Then she turned to Hope, grabbing her hand.

“Alright, we’re going to go back to my room. No funny business or I’ll neuter both of you.”

“Have fun getting topped by Mikaelson, Lizzie!” Penelope called after them. Josie slapped her, and Lizzie just huffed.

Hope grinned at the two of them as she was dragged away.

“I’m so glad you finally figured your shit out!”

Josie walked over to the door and pushed it shut. 

She turned back to Penelope.

“Well, that was awful.”

Penelope laughed and pulled Josie towards her.

“I thought that went well. No one is dead, no one is crying, and Lizzie and I shook hands. It seems to me like all is well.”

Josie sighed and collapsed on her bed. A second later, Penelope landed next to her.

“So, I recall you wanting to talk.”

Josie groaned.

“I’m regretting that decision. I would much rather just lie here with you, pretending that the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

Penelope took her hand and ran her thumb across the back of it, the way she used to when they were in Science or English. 

Josie remembered how Penelope had always needed to be close to her. Josie remembered how she’d loved it.

Now, she would hopefully get to experience that again.

That was a pleasant thought.

“As much as I would love to do that, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we do need to figure some things out.”

Josie sighed and moved so that she was lying on her side, facing Penelope.

“Okay. Do you have any ideas on where to start?”

“Nope.”

Josie laughed.

“Well, maybe let’s start with what we know.”

Penelope thought for a moment. 

“You love me. I love you. We both have a lot of issues. Dana is a bitch.” 

Josie rolled her eyes.

“The last one is implied.”

Penelope grinned.

“True.” She grimaced. “Ugh, and to think all this started because I wanted her back. Man, I had absolutely no sense at all.”

Josie shrugged.

“Well, you were kind of the worst. But you got better.”

Penelope looked at her, and Josie noticed doubt still lingering in her eyes.

“You’re sure?”

Josie squeezed her hand.

“I’m sure. I’ve gotten better too.”

Penelope moved her free hand to prop up her head. 

“How so?”

Josie was about to roll her eyes, but then Penelope added.

“Well, I mean, I know what’s changed, but I want to know how you think you’ve changed.”

Josie laughed.

“Nice save.” She moved her arm to prop up her head as well.

“Well, I’m a lot braver. Like I said, that’s your influence, you make me want to be brave. I’m surer of myself, like I finally know who I am, and while I’m not perfect, I think I like myself a bit better. And, well this is going to sound dumb, but I feel more alive.”

Penelope smiled and lifted her hand away from Josie’s to stroke her cheek.

“You are more alive. And let me tell you, that’s all you.”

Josie smiled.

“Well, you do get a little credit. You’re the one who pushed me to be better. You helped me be my best self. And now I feel strong enough that I can do those things by myself.”

Penelope twirled a strand of Josie’s hair around her finger.

“So, what you’re saying is that you don’t need me anymore?”

Josie laughed.

“Not to help me find the light, no. However, I would love it if you stood and shone next to me. While I may not need you, I’ll always want you.”

Penelope’s eyes softened. 

“You know, you say the cutest things. I don’t think I could ever compete.”

Josie laughed.

“That’s not true. You literally yelled a monologue at me about your feelings for me.” An idea suddenly occurred to Josie.

The notes.

She’d completely forgotten about them.

She reached into her pocket and pulled them out, unfolding them.

Penelope brow creased.

“Wait, are those my notes?”

Josie nodded.

“I thought you threw them out.”

“I threw some of them out. But I kept some. At the time, I didn’t allow myself to admit as to why, but I know now that it’s because I liked feeling special. Like I was someone to you.”

“Josie you’ve always been someone to me.”

Josie blushed.

“I know that now.” 

Penelope rolled onto her back and sat up, leaning against the wall.

“So, why are you showing them to me now? Why did you have them with you in the first place?”

“Well, I was planning to show them to you as part of my big romantic speech to you at the park, but my plan kind of went off the rails. It seems that when I was making my plans, I forgot to count the x factor that is my inability to think straight around you.”

Penelope poked Josie’s cheek.

“You’re never straight when you’re around me Jojo.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“I still don’t get why you’re reading them to me now,” Penelope continued.

“Well, you told me that you don’t think you can compete with all the nice things I say. So, I am going to prove you wrong.”

Josie cleared her throat dramatically and sat up. Penelope rested her chin on her fist and smiled like a child listening to their teacher reading them a story. 

“Hey Jojo, I think you look really pretty today. I love what you’ve done with your hair.” 

Josie was about to move on, but then Penelope tapped her wrist.

“I remember that day. You had your hair in space buns. I love your hair when it’s out, but that style was just so cute.”

Josie blushed and kept reading.

“Josie, I really hope you don’t choose to read this one. Because I like you, and I don’t want you to know that. I like you so so much. It almost scares me how much I like you.” 

Josie’s voice cracked a little at the end. She turned to look at Penelope.

Penelope nodded solemnly.

“That was the Monday after we had dinner with my mum. That was when I realised that my feelings for you were far too strong to just ignore.”

Josie paused, and then asked a question she’d been wondering about.

“When did you realise that you liked me?”

Penelope’s answer was instant.

“The night of Kaleb’s party.”

Josie’s eyes widened.

“That soon?”

Penelope nodded and then said softly.

“Yeah.”

Josie smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry. I should have realised sooner. And I shouldn’t have pulled away from you when I did realise.”

Penelope just smiled.

“We got there in the end. And if I keep feeling like this, if moments like this keep coming, well, I think I’ll be happy with that.”

Josie couldn’t hold herself back, so she leaned in and kissed Penelope. 

Penelope smiled as she kissed her back.

When Josie pulled away, she cleared her throat again, and kept reading.

“I’m sorry Josie, please, just talk to me.” 

Neither of them stopped to address that note. They both knew the time of pain that it had been written in, and their wounds had long since started healing.

“I’m sorry for pulling away these past few days, but I’m just scared. I know, I’m a hypocrite, but I'm terrified. You scare me so much Josie Saltzman. And my feelings for you scare me even more.” 

Penelope shook her head, sighing dramatically. 

“You really got me to go on a monologue about how I was scared when you could have just read that?”

“I needed to hear it.”

Penelope tilted her head and looked at the last note that Josie was holding. Recognition dawned once more in her eyes.

“Hey, wait, Jojo, can I read that one?”

Josie was surprised, but she handed the note to Penelope.

Penelope looked down at it, and Josie noticed that her hands were shaking. She took a moment to swallow. When she spoke, the emotion that her voice had held at the park was back.

“Okay, so I’m giving this to you the day before the ski trip, so hopefully you don’t read this. Or, maybe hopefully you do read this. I really really like you Josie Saltzman. I just might love you even. And by the end of the skip trip, we’ll be over, because I don’t want to keep you in a situation where you clearly don’t want to be.” Penelope stopped, tears shining in her eyes.

Josie put her hand on Penelope’s knee.

“It’s okay.”

Penelope nodded and smiled thankfully.

Then she continued, strength filling her words.

“So, if you could be so kind, please just let me have the last few days by your side. Even if you don’t want me back, all I’ve ever wanted is you, and if I can only have you as a friend, I’ll take that. This will probably be my last note to you. So, goodbye, I guess. Love, Penelope.” 

Josie shook her head.

“You were really just going to let me go? Break your own heart, just because you thought that was what would make me happy?”

Penelope nodded, sniffling and wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. I just wanted you to be happy. When we fought over you coming to the ski trip, I thought that you hated me, I thought that the idea of spending any more time with me disgusted you. I was so close to just texting you and telling you that the deal was off. In the end it was actually Hope who talked sense into me.”

Josie smiled.

“I’m glad she did.”

Penelope smiled back.

“So am I."

They held each other’s gaze for a moment, and then another thought occurred to Josie.

“You know, I never told you why I picked the park.”

Penelope rose an eyebrow.

“I do seem to recall you saying something about childhood memories. Would you like to elaborate on that?”

Josie nodded, and then looked away from Penelope. She sighed as the memories came back. 

“My mother used to take Lizzie and I there when we were kids. We were like five years old, and she’d take us down there, just the three of us. This was before she adopted Pedro, before we found out about the cancer. We’d go on the swings, and Lizzie would always turn it into a competition of who could swing higher.”

Josie could see it now. 

She could hear Lizzie’s giggle, her mother’s exasperated sighs. 

“Our mother would tell us to go on the little slide, but Lizzie would always insist on going on the big one. Then she’d get scared and make me do it with her.”

Penelope laughed.

“That sounds like Lizzie.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“She’s gotten better. You know that. To be honest, I think Hope’s had a lot to do with it. They’re perfect for each other.”

Penelope nodded.

“Yeah, don’t tell your sister this, but I think I might be starting to tolerate her.”

Josie laughed, and then looked over at Penelope.

“I brought you to that park because it always lets me remember my mother, it lets me remember happy times.”

Penelope traced the lines on Josie’s palm.

“She would have liked you," Josie said softly.

Penelope looked up, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Yeah?”

Josie entwined their fingers.

“Yeah. I would have loved for you to have met her.”

Penelope lifted Josie’s hand to her mouth and kissed it.

“I would have loved to meet her too. I would have loved to tell her how much you mean to me.”

Josie nodded, and buried her head into Penelope’s neck, breathing in her perfume.

It smelt so comforting, like how your home smells after you’ve been away for some time.

“Are you smelling me?”

Josie smiled into Penelope’s skin, sure that Penelope could feel it.

“You smell nice, can you blame me?”

Penelope laughed, and Josie placed a light kiss on her throat, before moving to her jaw, running feather soft kisses along its length.

Penelope hummed, content.

“You know, I think I could get used to times like these.”

Josie pulled away to look her in the eyes.

“I think I could too.”

Josie leaned in and kissed Penelope on her lips, soft at first, then growing more passionate as she moved forwards to straddle her hips.

Penelope laughed, and pulled Josie closer by tugging on her shirt.

Josie happily obliged, and slid her hands under Penelope’s jumper, so they rested just on her waist.

Penelope pulled back.

Josie frowned, worried thoughts rushing into her mind.

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

Penelope laughed, and brushed the hair out of Josie’s face.

“No. You are perfect, my love.”

Josie’s heart fluttered.

“I could get used to that nickname.”

“Well, I shall have to remember that.”

Josie leaned in again, but Penelope pulled back again.

“Okay, you’re starting to worry me. What is it?”

“Nothing bad. I just wanted to ask you something.”

“And what would that be?”

Penelope took a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed. When they opened, Josie could see the nervousness in them.

“Would you like to be my girlfriend? Officially? For real?”

Josie smiled, although her heart ached as she realised that Penelope was scared of asking her that.

Penelope was still scared that Josie was going to leave.

Well, Josie was just going to have to work twice as hard to make sure that Penelope knew that she was going to stay.

“Penelope Park, I would absolutely love to be your girlfriend, officially, for real.”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“Well, as your girlfriend, that’s my job now.”

Penelope laughed.

“Yeah, I definitely love you.”

“And I definitely love you too.”

Penelope pulled her forwards again, kissing her hungrily.

There was a knock at the door, but neither of them heard it. 

They were too lost in the joy of each other.

“Hey girls, dinner’s—oh!”

Josie pushed herself away from Penelope so quickly that she fell backwards off the bed.

“Ow.”

Her dad looked down at her with a barely hidden grin.

“I mean, I was sort of expecting it, but still, you could have been a little more subtle.”

“Dad!” Josie said, standing up.

Penelope pushed herself off the bed.

“Am I still invited to dinner?”

He scoffed and waved a hand nonchalantly.

“Oh please, I’ve walked in on Lizzie and Hope doing worse. I think Hope actually had her shirt off once.”

“Dad, you’re making it worse.”

He laughed.

“I’m just teasing you, kiddo. Penelope, in answer to your question, you’re still invited, but you will be being getting a proper shovel talk in the car when I drive you home, and there will be no opting out of that.”

Penelope nodded.

He winked at Josie and left the room.

Josie was embarrassed, but at this point, she didn’t care.

Her dad had just caught her making out with someone on her bed. 

She had literally never thought that was ever going to happen, ever. 

“You just got caught in the act, why are you smiling?” Penelope asked as she walked up next to Josie.

Josie grabbed her hand and turned to her beaming.

“Because I’m happy.”

Penelope nodded.

“Well, then I'm happy too.” She gestured to the door.

“Shall we?”

Josie nodded, and the two of them walked down to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope we're all enjoying our happy Posie. It's what our girls deserve after I made them go through so much angst. Now, they can be happy, and we can be happy as well! I'll see you guys soon, for the release of the penultimate chapter!


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the second last chapter, the penultimate chapter if you will. You guys get a chapter of soft Posie, and also some fun interactions with the whole gang!   
> Enjoy!

The next day, Josie couldn’t wait to get to school.

She was going to go to school, and she was going to see her girlfriend, Penelope Park.

Penelope Park was her girlfriend.

Lizzie rolled her eyes at Josie in the car.

“You literally saw her last night, and you stayed up until midnight texting her. You don’t need to be so excited.”

Josie rolled her eyes, and drummed her fingers on the armrest.

“But this is the first time I get to go to school with Penelope, and get to call her my girlfriend, and have it be real.”

Lizzie sighed.

“I suppose that is true. By the way, how are you planning on telling the rest of the school? Are you just going to let them figure it out by themselves, or is Penelope planning to do some big elaborate reveal?”

Josie smiled mischievously.

“Actually, I have a plan.”

“Oh? And does Penelope know about this said plan?”

“She doesn’t know what it is, but she knows that I have something that I want to do.”

Lizzie nodded appreciatively.

“Well, I’m excited. I shall offer my full support whenever your plan comes to fruition.”

+++

As Josie walked down the corridor, she kept scanning the hallways for any sign of Penelope.

Hope rolled her eyes and punched Josie in the shoulder.

“Calm down. I can confirm, I do remember her existence and she did not mysteriously move to Belgium. You need to relax.”

Josie punched Hope back.

“I know, I just want to see her.”

Hope made a fake vomiting noise.

“You’re gross.”

“Says the girl who couldn’t keep her eyes off my sister last night. And don’t think I didn’t notice the fact that your hand was on her knee the whole time.”

“And don’t think I didn’t notice you and Penelope basically holding hands under the table. What are you, twelve?”

“On a scale of one to ten, yes.”

Hope fake vomited again.

“Penelope is a terrible influence on you.”

“Excuse you Mikaelson, I am a brilliant influence on her.”

Josie looked up, eyes brightening as she saw Penelope leaning on her locker.

“Penelope!” She greeted, beaming.

Hope sighed.

“I’m going to go to my locker alone, because I can already tell that you two are going to be disgusting.”

Penelope didn’t move her eyes from Josie as she snarked back at Hope.

“I’m not the one who left a hickey on my girlfriend’s neck.”

“I told you that in confidence!”

“And I’m insulting it back with confidence.”

Hope shook her head and walked away. Josie could hear her muttering under her breath, and she didn’t even try to suppress her giggle.

“Go to hell Josie!” Hope shouted over her shoulder with mock anger.

Josie just laughed harder and turned back to Penelope.

Penelope’s eyes were filled with love and adoration, and also a little bit of amazement, like she was wondering if what she was seeing was real.

Josie wanted to cry.

She didn’t though, considering that this was school, and as confident as she was with people knowing she existed now, she didn’t want to draw attention to herself by crying.

“Hey gorgeous,” Penelope said softly.

“Says you,” Josie said, turning to open up her locker.

“So, your amazing plan to let everyone know that we’re together. When am I going to find out about that?”

Josie just smiled, pulling out her textbooks.

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

“Oh, a surprise? Consider me intrigued.”

Josie chuckled and shut her locker door, turning back to Penelope.

“All I will tell you is that it’s going to happen at recess.”

Penelope nodded.

“I shall spend my first two periods completely zoning out so as to dream up ideas as for what the surprise is.”

Josie swatted her arm.

“No, you’re going to focus on your work, because you want to do well in class. And because I actually do want to surprise you a little.”

Penelope nodded, and gave Josie a little salute.

“Alright Miss Saltzman. I’ll do my work. You have my word.”

Josie giggled, and took a moment to just take in how beautiful Penelope was.

Her girlfriend.

Penelope Park, her girlfriend.

Her not fake girlfriend.

Josie could hardly believe it.

The bell rang, and Penelope swept her arm out in front of her.

“The classroom awaits.”

Josie laughed.

“Walk me to class?”

“Anything for you, my love.”

+++

Josie could barely focus because she was so excited. She was going to get to show everyone that she’d chosen Penelope and that Penelope had chosen her.

She would have been nervous about it, considering her plan was a little public, but Hope and Lizzie had informed her that the entire school was apparently waiting for them to get together.

Besides Dana and her bitches of course, but they didn’t count.

Apparently, Kaleb had a betting pool going on.

Not that Hope would know, Hope had assured Josie. She’d said something to the effect of ‘I would never bet 50 dollars on you and Penelope getting together before week 5, so if I happen to be 50 dollars richer tomorrow afternoon, it had nothing to do with that.’

Josie was so glad that she’d chosen Hope as her best friend.

That was beside the point.

The point was, period 2 had just ended, and it was finally time for Josie to have her moment.

According to Penelope, Hope, and Lizzie, they were the only people who actually knew that Josie and Penelope were back together.

Except for Landon, but Josie was pretty sure he’d just somehow sensed that Josie and Penelope were back together, because he’d texted her saying _Good job on getting the girl Josie_ , despite the fact that literally none of them had told him.

Honestly, Landon was so weird and Josie was so glad they were friends.

Josie marched into the cafeteria with confidence.

She was a little late, so basically all of high school was there.

She walked over to Penelope’s table, and slid right in next to her.

MG dropped his fork.

Kaleb’s eyes lit up.

Jed narrowed his eyes at Penelope.

Landon and Hope made eye contact, and Josie could almost hear them thinking ‘oh it’s about to happen’.

“Do you have something to tell us?” Jed asked, one eyebrow raised.

Josie turned to Penelope.

“Hmmm, I think we might.”

Penelope nodded, and Josie could see she was ready to follow Josie’s lead.

“Do you trust me?” Josie asked.

Penelope smiled.

“Yes.”

Josie reached out, took Penelope’s hand, and then pulled her on top of the table.

She could hear the entire cafeteria reacting, could hear all the whispers about what they were doing, but Josie didn’t care.

All she cared about was Penelope.

Penelope seemed to have caught on to Josie’s plan, because when Josie leaned in, Penelope met her halfway, her hands reaching up to cup Josie’s face.

For a moment, the entire world went silent. 

There were no whispers, no snide comments, the only sound was her heart beating in time with Penelope’s.

Then the cafeteria erupted into cheering.

Josie had never thought of herself as the lead character in the story. She’d figured that role would go to Hope, or Lizzie, or Penelope, or anyone but her.

But right now, kissing the girl she loved on the top of a table, while the entire school cheered for them, she felt like the lead of a romcom.

It was the best feeling in the world.

Everyone was cheering.

She could hear Lizzie yelling ‘That’s my sister!’

She could hear Landon whooping.

She could hear Hope wolf whistling, and had half a mind to kick her.

But she didn’t.

She pulled back from Penelope and smiled at her.

Penelope smiled back, and seized Josie’s hand, stepping forwards to address the entire room.

“I would like to announce that Josie and I are back together, and I love her!”

Once upon a time, Josie would have been embarrassed. But right now, hearing Penelope proclaim how she loved Josie to everyone, she just smiled and squeezed her hand. 

In that moment, standing there with Penelope, the eyes of the world on her, she knew exactly why her mother had danced in the aisles of the diner.

When Penelope turned back to her, she knew that she understood why her dad had joined her.

“Sorry love, but I couldn’t let you have all the fun, now could I?”

Josie laughed.

“That’s okay, I’m willing to share.”

Kaleb stood up.

“And I would like to announce that anyone who placed a bet with me can collect their money at lunch!”

Another cheer rose up, but this one was mingled with groans. 

Josie guessed a few people hadn’t trusted them to stop dancing around each other so quickly.

Josie pulled them off the table, and slowly the level of excitement in the room died down.

Even though no one would stop talking about it for ages.

Especially considering that Hope was lowering her phone.

“Oh, I’m so putting that on my Instagram.”

“Fine by me,” Josie replied.

Everything was fine.

Everything was more than fine.

Everything was amazing.

+++

That afternoon, Penelope and Jed apparently made the joint decision that they were going to have a hangout with all of their friends.

Somehow, Lizzie had landed an invite, although Josie suspected that Hope had been the reason for that.

She was surprised that Penelope didn’t make a comment about it when the three of them walked into the diner to join the group.

Honestly, Josie was never going to get over how Penelope and Lizzie were now friends.

It was sort of amazing, so Josie had decided to just let this new change exist.

“Alright, looks like we’re all here. Let’s order,” Penelope said, as Josie slid in next to her.

How they all fit into the booth made no sense.

Kaleb was up against the window, next to MG, who was talking to Penelope, who was resting her hand on Josie’s thigh.

Lizzie was up against the window on the other side, with her arm around Hope, who was talking to Landon and Jed who were next to her.

Josie was pretty sure that you weren’t meant to have eight people in a booth, but well, who was going to tell a bunch of teenagers what to do?

“Okay, but seriously, we need to talk about the elephant in the room,” MG finally said, turning to look at Penelope.

“What?” Penelope asked innocently. Josie could tell exactly where this conversation was going, and for once, she was actually excited to talk about her love life.

“You and Josie! How did you guys finally get together? We need the details, because Lan won’t tell us anything,” Kaleb said shaking his head at Landon.

“Hey, I was sworn to secrecy!”

“Shut up and let my cousin talk. Honestly, I’m offended that I don’t already know all the juicy details.” Jed shoved another fry in his mouth.

Penelope rolled her eyes.

“Maybe because I’m entitled to privacy?”

“Says the girl who proclaimed her love for her girlfriend to the entire school while on a table.” 

Penelope turned to look at Josie.

“That was her idea. How was I supposed to know that she has a thing for voyeurism?”

Josie slapped Penelope.

“The proclamation was all you, don’t pin that on me.” 

“Interesting, you didn’t reject the idea of having a thing for voyeurism.”

Josie slapped her again.

“Can you get your mind out of the gutter please?”

“Only because you asked so nicely,” Penelope replied, taking a sip of her milkshake as she looked at Josie with her best pout.

Jed rolled his eyes.

“Stop flirting and get on with the story, or I’ll throw up on Landon.”

“Why me?”

“You’re closest.”

“It’s like dealing with actual children. Hope, how on earth do you deal with them?” Lizzie asked.

Hope shrugged.

“You get used to it eventually.”

Penelope sighed.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

The boys started asking questions so fast that Josie barely had time to listen.

“Who made the first move?”

“Who kissed who first?”

“Was that the first time you’ve said I love you?”

“How long have you been together for real?”

Penelope frowned.

“What do you mean 'together for real' ?”

Kaleb rolled his eyes.

“Pen, we love you, but we aren’t dumb. We connected the dots over the holiday, along with half of the school. I think the only people who don’t know are Dana’s group, and that’s because there’s a school wide pact to not tell them.”

Lizzie nodded.

“It’s true. My friends actually told me that they knew you were fake dating, and I had to try and act like I didn’t know.”

Josie sighed.

“And here I thought we were doing a good job of hiding.”

MG smiled apologetically at her.

“To be fair, it was convincing at the time, but during the holidays, after your break up, we all realised that there were serious holes in your story. You guys kept staring at each other sadly and longingly, even though you were meant to be in a relationship. Plus, both of you kept freaking out whenever you actually did anything affectionate.”

Jed nodded.

“Anyways, that’s irrelevant. How’d you get back together?”

Penelope looked at Josie, asking with her eyes if it was okay to tell. Josie decided to take the lead.

“I texted her asking to meet up. We talked, well, more yelled all of our emotions at each other, and then I asked Penelope if she wanted me, and she kissed me, and then told me that she wanted to be with me.”

Jed nodded.

“Nice to know that my cousin finally got her head out of her ass and kissed you. And that you finally decided to stop whining about miscommunication. You still haven’t read my texts by the way.”

Josie smiled guiltily.

“Sorry. I was kind of terrified that you were going to be yelling at me for breaking your cousin’s heart. You’re sort of scary when it comes to people you care about.”

Jed snorted.

“Hell yeah I am. Don’t worry though, I was just telling you to go make out with Penelope because I thought y’all were being idiots,” he said casually, shoving another three fries into his mouth.

Lizzie wrinkled her nose in disgust, but said nothing.

“Anyways, we’re friends again now,” he said, holding a hand out to Josie. Josie took it and shook it. He grinned.

“Hell yeah.”

Landon interjected.

“On the topic of calling Josie and Penelope idiots, can we please address the fact that we’ve all at one point or another had to hear whining from both of them?”

Everyone on the table nodded emphatically.

“Tell me about it. All day, I hear Josie whining about Penelope, and then I go home, and Penelope texts me, whining about Josie, but refusing to give me context, and then Josie texts me to whine even more. It was a struggle to not lock them in a classroom and make them figure their shit out,” Hope said.

Josie reached across the table to flick her.

“Rude, you’re my best friend, you have to listen to me.”

“Yeah, but I still reserve the right to complain.”

“She can’t be as bad as Penelope though,” Kaleb said.

Landon and Jed groaned.

“The fucking group chat,” Landon said.

“The fucking group chat,” Jed agreed.

Penelope sighed.

“Okay, to be fair, I was heartbroken.”

“Yeah, but you were whining about how pretty Josie was, every single day,” Landon said, rolling his eyes.

“And you wouldn’t stop talking about how you wanted to kiss her. It was gross,” Jed added.

“And how unfair it was that you couldn’t talk to her.”

“And then we’d tell you to talk to her, and you’d be all like ‘what no I’m not going to do that.”

“We’d just get stuck in a loop of complaining.”

Josie turned to Penelope.

“Aww, you whined about me to the boys? That’s cute.”

“It’s embarrassing hearing it recounted back to me,” Penelope said, moving to press a feather light kiss to Josie’s neck.

Jed turned to the group.

“Actually, I’m curious. How far back did you guys figure out that there was something between them? I've been seeing this for at least a year now.”

Kaleb shook his head.

“I didn’t notice until they started dating.”

“Same,” MG said.

Landon sighed.

“Amateurs. I saw something going on last year. Penelope always acted weird whenever we mentioned Josie, and whenever Josie was in the same room as Penelope, she’d always keep stealing glances at her.”

Hope held up a hand to high five Landon.

“Finally, someone else with eyes. I’ve been seeing this shit since like Grade 9.”

“You what?” Josie gasped.

Hope rolled her eyes.

“Josie I’m sorry but in Maths you literally used to spend the whole class staring at her. There were times where I would speak to you and you wouldn’t even hear me because you were too bust being gay for her.”

Josie threw a fry at Hope.

“You’re irritating.”

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Rude.”

Josie threw another fry at Hope, and she caught it, popping it into her mouth with a satisfied grin.

Lizzie took a long sip of her milkshake and then said,

“I saw this coming on Penelope’s first day at the school.”

Everyone whipped around to face her, and a sly smile climbed up her face.

“I win.”

Penelope looked at with shock.

“How on earth did you figure it out before anyone else?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Penelope, on that day, you literally talked to Josie the entire time you were sitting next to each other. And then when you moved tables, you kept looking at her. And then when I got home, this one,” Lizzie reached across the table to jab Josie’s arm, “wouldn’t shut up about how pretty the new girl was, and ‘oh Lizzie, she seems so nice I want to be friends with her’ and ‘it’s a shame she’s hanging out with them, I want to hang out with her’. You were in love with her before you even figured out what love meant.”

Penelope turned to Josie with a soft smile.

“Do you even remember that?”

Josie frowned, trying to recall any memory that she had.

“Vaguely. I remember really liking you, but I don’t remember much else. You’re the one with the incredibly good memory.”

Lizzie scoffed.

“Even after then I’ve seen this brewing. During seventh grade, you could not keep your eyes off of her, and I remember one time she winked at you, and you choked on air.” Lizzie turned to Penelope. “I’ve always known this was coming. Why do you think I disliked so much? I knew that Josie had a thing for you, and I guess I was always just scared that she was going to leave me for you.”

Penelope smiled at Lizzie across the table.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal her. Besides, I think we’ve established over the course of this year that us hating each other is pointless.”

Lizzie nodded.

“Exactly. And now that we don’t hate each other anymore, we should finally join forces to take over the school as the true head bitches in charge.”

Penelope leaned forwards, propping her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her hand.

“I’m listening.”

Josie met Hope’s eyes.

“Oh boy,” Hope muttered.

“What have we done?” Josie said, gasping dramatically.

Penelope laughed and kissed Josie on the head.

“Relax, you can rule the school at my side. You can be my queen.”

“Well, when you put it that way, maybe I could be persuaded.”

Jed made a fake vomiting noise at the same time as Hope and then they reached across Landon to high five.

“Good to know we’re on the same page here.”

Josie laughed.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get less gross eventually.”

“You’d better, because right now, I’m actually going to get diabetes from just being in your presence,” Hope said, putting on her best serious expression. They were silent for a moment before they all burst into laughter.

+++

Eventually, they all made their way out of the diner. Hope and Lizzie got into the car, and Penelope pulled Josie to the side.

“I love you. You know that?” Penelope asked.

Josie leant down and kissed her.

“I do. I love you too.”

Penelope wrapped an arm around her waist.

“I wish we could stay in this moment forever.”

Josie laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. You aren’t getting rid of me.”

“Good. Because I am very happy being stuck with you.”

Penelope kissed Josie again, but Josie could barely kiss back, because she was smiling so hard.

Penelope stepped away, holding Josie’s hand like she couldn’t imagine letting go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Who knows, I might even bring you a love note.”

Josie laughed.

“I think I’d enjoy that.”

The car honked it’s horn. Josie turned to see Lizzie gesturing at her to hurry up.

Josie sighed.

“Alright, I’d better go before she kills me.”

Penelope smiled.

“Goodnight Jojo.”

“Goodnight Pen.” 

Penelope blew Josie a kiss, and Josie blushed as she turned to the car.

Yeah, she was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter! I can't believe this!  
> Next chapter we'll have a bit of a time jump. At the moment we're mid January, but we'll be skipping ahead to Josie and Lizzie's birthday in March! That's right, we're getting Josie and Lizzie spending their 17th birthday with their amazing girlfriends! I can't wait! I'll see you soon for the last chapter!!!!


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here!!! The Final Chapter!! It's soft and amazing and you guys will love it!!!  
> Enjoy!!!

Josie had never quite been as excited for a birthday as she was for this one. She was going to be seventeen, she had a group of amazing friends to spend the night with, and she had a wonderful girlfriend who would make her night just that extra bit perfect.

Last year, for her sixteenth, Lizzie practically had to drag her to the big fancy party, and Josie had only agreed once Lizzie let Hope come as well. It had been loud and colourful, and Lizzie’s ideal sixteenth birthday party. It just wasn’t Josie ideal party.

Josie had just hung out with Hope by the food.

But this year, Lizzie had come into Josie’s room about a month ago, and had informed Josie that they would be co-planning the party, so as to make it perfect for both of them.

So, it would be a party with loud music, and bright colours, and all of Lizzie’s friends would be there to hype her up, but Josie had also invited all her friends, and she’d organised the venue so there was a space to go if you wanted a break from the noise, and she’d picked the music.

That last point had been hard negotiated with Lizzie, but once Josie had promised to let her look over the playlist, Lizzie had agreed.

Kaleb had agreed to handle the playing of the music, he had a whole DJ set up thing going, so the twins had given him the playlist and let him handle the rest.

Their dad had agreed to let the girls be unsupervised at the party, but it was not allowed to go later than ten, because he didn’t want them ‘going too crazy’.

So, now Josie was putting the finishing touches on her makeup, barely able to contain her excitement.

Her dress was a beautiful black one with flowers at the bottom that she had considered wearing for her sixteenth, but had turned down in favour of a pink dress.

It was amazing, and Lizzie had not been able to stop gushing about it since Josie had shown her that that was what she was planning to wear.

Lizzie had opted for a blue dress, darker than the one she’d worn last year, with little golden stars on the shoulders.

They were both getting ready in the same bathroom, so they could play Taylor Swift songs as they applied the final touches.

“Josie, you look so pretty, Penelope might actually die when she sees you.”

Josie laughed.

“Thank you.”

“Are you going to compliment me back?”

“Wow, so needy.”

Lizzie slapped her lightly, not taking her eyes off of her face in the mirror.

Josie smiled.

“You look amazing Liz; Hope is very lucky.”

Lizzie beamed.

“I think we’re ready.”

Josie nodded.

“Should we go down?”

Lizzie sighed.

“No, we have to wait up here, so that when Hope and Penelope get here, when can do the cliché movie thing where we walk down the stairs and they go breathless.”

Josie laughed. Her sister was so dramatic. Although, Josie had to admit, the idea of seeing Penelope staring up at her with breathless awe as she walked down the stairs did seem amazing. 

“Alright, let’s stay here then.”

“I’m so glad you have sense.”

A knock sounded on their door.

“Can I come in?” Called their dad.

They gave him an affirmative answer, and he opened the door.

“Alright, let me see you.”

They turned around, both wearing giddy smiles. When he saw them his eyes softened, and Josie saw them well up with tears.

“Wow, girls you look so beautiful.” He sniffled a little and looked away. Josie and Lizzie moved to hug him and he opened his arms and enveloped them both.

“It’s okay dad,” Lizzie told him as they drew away. 

He smiled at them.

“I know, it’s just so amazing seeing you all grown up. You girls are amazing, I’m so proud of you, and I know if she was still here, your mother would be too.”

Josie smiled, trying to hold back tears for the sake of her makeup.

Their dad had been more forthcoming with details about their mother since Josie had talked to him at the diner. He’d regaled them with tales of her most nights at dinner, and the three siblings were always so excited to learn more.

He’d been more open as a father too, always wanting to know about their day, always asking about how their girlfriends were, being supportive of their achievements. Josie knew that he’d always been a good father, but for the first time in so long, it felt like he was a happy man as well.

“Ugh, dad you’re going to mess up my eyeliner,” Lizzie companied.

He laughed.

“Okay, I’m sorry. No more sad stuff for the rest of the night. Tonight is about you girls having fun with your friends.”

The doorbell rang.

“I think that might be your dates. I’ll go greet them; you do whatever last things you need to to get ready.”

He gave them one last hug, and then he jogged downstairs.

Josie turned to speak to Lizzie, and was met with Lizzie hugging her tightly.

“I love you.”

Josie hugged her back.

“I love you too you idiot.”

Lizzie poked her cheek.

“I’m trying to have a moment here.”

Josie laughed.

“I know.”

Lizzie sighed.

"I'm just so proud of you Jo. You're everything that you ever wanted."

Josie nodded.

"It's pretty cool."

Lizzie smiled.

Downstairs Josie heard Penelope and Hope laughing.

Lizzie’s eyes lit up.

“It’s time.”

Josie reached out and squeezed her hand.

“Let’s be clichés.”

+++

There was a brief argument about who should go first. Josie thought that Lizzie should go first because it was her idea, but Lizzie thought that Josie should go first because ‘this has been your freaking year Josie! You deserve this’. Josie had eventually been persuaded, and so she took a deep breath and descended the stairs.

She saw Penelope first.

She was wearing a black suit, paired with her signature cape. Josie had never actually seen what Penelope was wearing, she’d just been given little hints. 

Penelope looked beautiful, needless to say.

When Penelope saw Josie, Josie got to see her full reaction.

First, her eyes widened with surprise. Then as she took in the way Josie looked, Josie could actually see her struggling to breathe. Her mouth fell open slightly, and her eyes with full of such awe and wonder that Josie could barely believe this moment was real.

Yeah, doing this whole walking down the stairs thing was a great idea.

When she reached the bottom, she pulled Penelope into a quick kiss.

“Josie, you…you look so beautiful, I don’t even know how to-”

Josie kissed her again, smiling as she did. 

She was so glad that she got to call Penelope Park hers.

She heard Hope gasp softly, and she turned to see her sister walking down.

Lizzie looked every bit the Disney princess.

Hope was wearing a simple red dress, one that Lizzie had had to do a lot of convincing to get Hope to wear, but she’d gotten there in the end, and Josie had to admit, her best friend looked stunning.

Hope looked just as starstruck as Penelope had when Josie had walked down.

Josie smiled to herself. She and her sister had really picked the most amazing girls to fall in love with. Although, there really hadn’t been much choice in the matter.

Not that Josie would change it for the world.

+++

Once they were all downstairs and were done with gushing over each other, Josie’s dad pulled them over to take photos. 

By Josie’s estimate they took approximately a million, with every combination possible. Josie and Lizzie took their twin pictures and they took pictures with their dates. Even Lizzie and Penelope took a photo together. Apparently, it was symbolic of their alliance to rule the school being formed officially.

Penelope and Lizzie were great friends by now. Everyone in the school was both terrified and intrigued by this new change. Josie was mostly excited, because her twin was finally getting along with the girl she loved.

It didn’t hurt that both of them were dedicated to making sure that no one gave Josie any shit. It was nice having people stand up for her.

Not that anyone other than Dana and her friends tried anything, and these days, everyone hated their group.

Pedro came in from the living room to check out their outfits.

When he saw them he nodded and said

"Yeah, you guys look good. I'm gonna go watch some more Brooklyn Nine Nine."

Josie loved her brother.

It was funny to think that it was his meddling that had given her this chance in the first place.

After many more compliments and warnings from their dad, they finally left the house. Hope and Lizzie would be driving in Lizzie’s car, and Penelope would be driving Josie in her car.

“Sorry Jo, but I don’t trust you enough to let you drive. I mean, you nearly killed me once with a car already,” Penelope commented as they climbed into the car.

Josie just rolled her eyes. Penelope had never quite let that incident go. 

In the car ride over they didn’t play any music, and instead they just sat in comfortable silence, every now and then commenting something. 

Their pinkies were intertwined the whole car ride. 

Every time Josie was with Penelope, they always made sure that they were touching in some way. It made them both feel more comfortable with everything.

It was just one of the ways in which they helped each other with stuff.

Josie had always had Hope and Lizzie to go to talk to but with Penelope everything was different. 

It had always been different, but now that all secrets were out in the open, everything was so much better.

They talked openly about insecurities, and they tried their best to support each other.

Penelope supported Josie by always making sure she was included in conversations, by pushing Josie just that little bit out of her comfort zone, by telling her every day that she loved her.

Josie supported Penelope by holding her hand in the corridors, by singing to her when she had a bad day, and by continuing to promise Penelope that she wasn’t going to leave.

Penelope looked over at Josie.

“You look so beautiful.”

Josie blushed.

“You’ve said that already.”

“It’s worth repeating.” 

Josie smiled.

“You look beautiful too. I love the cape.”

“I love it too.”

Josie laughed and Penelope joined her.

The streets were dark, but there was enough light in their hearts to make the moment perfect.

+++

When they arrived, the party was already going. Lizzie had been the one in charge of that decision. She wanted to make a fashionably late entrance that would wow everyone.

Josie had tried to weasel out of the dramatic entrance, but the other three had convinced her to do it. 

So, here she was, standing at the top of the stairs once more, the bass thumping in time with her heartbeat.

Lizzie was going to go first this time. They had all agreed on that.

Hope turned to give Josie and Penelope one last smile, and then Kaleb’s voice rang out through the hall.

“Hey everyone, can I get your attention please!” The noise quietened down, and Josie could hear her heart racing. Penelope squeezed her hand.

“This party had been great so far, but it’s about to get even better, because the ladies of the night are here. So, may I please present the blonde queen of our school, escorted by Hope Mikaelson, it’s Lizzie Saltzman!” 

The crowd went wild as Lizzie stepped out. Kaleb turned the speakers back on and Dancing Queen by ABBA started echoing around the hall.

That song was one of the few that both Lizzie and Josie had immediately agreed upon.

Lizzie reached the bottom of the stairs and Kaleb began speaking again.

“And now, may I present the quiet but amazing girl who we all know and love, escorted by Penelope Park, it’s Josie Saltzman!” 

Josie stepped into the spotlight that they’d cued up and the room exploded into cheers.

She felt like she had that day when she’d stood on the table and kissed Penelope. 

Everyone was cheering for her.

This was her day. 

She turned to Penelope as they walked down, to find that Penelope was already looking at her with pure love in her eyes.

“They all see you,” Penelope said quietly, but Josie still heard it.

Josie looked back out to the crowd.

They saw her.

This was all she’d ever wanted.

And now she had it.

She stepped off the bottom of the stairs, and her friends rushed to meet her. MG and Landon tugged her into a group hug, and Jed high fived her. 

Hope turned away from Lizzie to hug Josie as well.

“You’re shining,” Hope told her. Josie beamed.

“I can feel it.” She pulled away and turned back to her friends.

Kaleb started speaking again.

“Alright, let’s really get this party started!”

+++

That night was the best of Josie’s life so far.

Dancing to her favourite songs with her friends, acting like complete idiots, dramatically singing to each other, she’d never felt more accepted.

Lizzie would even come over to dance with her sometimes and they did a killer rendition of Lizzo’s Truth Hurts.

After a while, Josie needed a break, so she went to the outside area.

She stayed there for a little while, just breathing and smiling, glad that she got to exist in the place she did.

The door opened and Josie smiled when Hope joined her.

“My feet are killing me.”

Josie laughed.

“Sit down. I got some chairs here so people can rest.”

Hope promptly collapsed into one of the chairs.

“I don’t know how Lizzie does it. I swear she has like endless dance energy. She just keeps going.”

“Trust me, tomorrow she will be a wreck. She was after our sixteenth.”

Hope laughed.

“That feels so long ago. How is it that so much has happened in a year? You got a fake girlfriend, you broke up with your fake girlfriend, you pined for her, you got back with her, for real, you had sex with your real girlfriend-”

“Hope!”

Hope held up her hands in defense.

“What? I’m just stating the facts.”

Josie sighed and tucked her legs into the chair she was sitting on.

She had in fact, had sex with Penelope.

It had been about a month after they got back together, which was due to the fact that they were taking it slow.

Although, taking it slow wasn’t exactly making out in the school bathrooms when they were meant to be in English.

Josie took full responsibility for that. Penelope had just looked so good that particular day, and well, Josie just had to kiss her. 

Penelope had been very good about making sure that Josie’s boundaries were kept, and she’d been very good about not pushing Josie too far, even to the point where Penelope had been asking Josie every time they did something if it was okay.

Josie knew also that that was just how Penelope was, and it was very sweet and also a little bit hot of her.

They hadn’t really planned it when it happened. 

Penelope’s mum had been out that day, and so Penelope had invited Josie over.

They hadn’t exactly had innocent intentions, to be fair.

Josie didn’t remember much about how they’d gotten to the whole ‘I think we’re about to have sex stage’. It was just, they had been kissing, and suddenly neither of them had a shirt on and Penelope was on top of her, kissing her neck.

Penelope had pulled back, and had asked Josie if she wanted to stop. 

Josie had told her that no, she really didn’t want to stop, and had pulled her back in.

Josie had been a bit nervous at first, but Penelope had helped her. 

She’d always felt like she was flying when Penelope touched her, but this was a whole other level.

Penelope had tried to insist that Josie didn’t need to return the favour if she wasn’t comfortable, but Josie hadn’t let Penelope stop her.

Seeing Penelope looking so breathless, with all of her emotions painted on her face, because of something Josie had done, well, it was a pretty great feeling.

It had been pretty great.

Josie had told Hope and Lizzie at the same time, because Hope had been over at their house when Josie got back.

Lizzie hadn’t even acted like she was disgusted or anything. She’d just been excited for Josie.

Hope had been very invested in knowing everything. Josie had told her more details later, because she was not exactly comfortable with telling her sister those sorts of things.

They’d slept together a few more times since then, and it was still pretty amazing.

They way Penelope had looked at her, the way Penelope had touched her, the way Penelope had cared about her, all of it just made Josie love Penelope even more.

“Earth to Josie. Please tell me you aren’t thinking about what I think you’re thinking about.”

Josie blinked, bringing herself back to the present, where she was talking to Hope.

Josie crossed her arms, smiling innocently.

“Well, you are the one who brought it up.”

Hope fake vomited.

“You are disgusting. I’m trying to have a conversation, trying to reminisce about the good times, and you’re just thinking about having sex with your girlfriend. Unbelievable.” 

Hope tone made it clear she was just teasing, but Josie still walked over to Hope’s chair and sat on the arm.

“Oh, come on, you know I love you.” 

Hope sighed dramatically.

“I do. Even if you took an enormously long time to stop pining and whining over a girl, and even if now you spend all your time thinking about that girl.”

Josie scoffed.

“Like I haven’t walked in on you and Lizzie making out a million times.”

Hope slapped her.

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious. That’s my sister, it’s gross.”

Hope groaned.

“Okay, let’s stop talking about our sex lives.”

Josie grinned.

“Sure thing.”

Hope sighed.

“You’re impossible.”

"And you need to say I love you back."

Hope hit her again.

“You’re impossible and I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

+++

A little while after Josie came back into the main hall with Hope, Kaleb announced that he would be playing a slow song, ‘for all those lovey dovey kids out there tonight’.

Josie looked around for Penelope, and saw many people linking up.

MG was holding hands with a girl who had braids, one that Josie was pretty was called Nia. 

Hope and Lizzie were already together, looking at each other with such disgustingly in love eyes that Josie wanted to take a picture and use it for blackmail.

Even Landon and Jed were dancing, with each other, and while they both looked very awkward, it was sort of cute.

“Hey Jojo.” Josie turned with a smile to find Penelope standing behind her.

“Hey.” 

Penelope walked up next to Josie, who gestured to Jed and Landon.

“Bets on them getting together?”

Penelope snorted.

“Jed carries the same genes as me, he’s an idiot. They won’t get together before the end of the year.”

Josie shook her head.

“Landon is the most sensible person I know. Twenty bucks says that they do.”

“Landon is an idiot, and I take your bet.”

“I look forwards to beating you.”

Penelope laughed.

“You’re a dork. Now, I believe there is a slow song we should be dancing to?”

Josie smiled and held out her hand.

“Lead the way.”

Penelope took her hand and pulled Josie to the middle of the dance floor, where she moved her hands to Josie’s hips. 

Josie draped her arms around Penelope's neck, and listened to the tune of the song. She immediately recognised the lyrics and smiled. Penelope turned to her with recognition in her eyes.

“Is this an acoustic version of The Safety Dance?”

Josie nodded.

“Yeah, I added it specifically.”

Penelope laughed.

“You are such a romantic dork. You know that?”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

Penelope sighed and started swaying them.

“I do. I really do.”

Josie smiled and let Penelope sway her as the music drifted around the hall.

Penelope smiled back at her.

“You know, I was talking to Hope in the car on the way over, about you and Lizzie.”

Josie rose an eyebrow, interested in what Penelope was going to say.

“All good things, I hope.”

Penelope laughed again.

“Lots of good things. We were just thinking about how lucky we are to have finally ended up with the girls we love.”

Josie smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Mm yeah. Especially since Hope has had a crush on Lizzie since like Grade 9.”

Josie laughed.

“I’m still a little hurt that she didn’t tell me but she told you.”

Penelope smiled.

“Technically I just bullied her until she told me. And then I teased her about it for ages.”

“You’re so mean. And you can’t judge, you’ve had a crush on me since you came to the school.”

“And you’ve had a crush on me since seventh grade.”

Josie blushed.

Penelope squeezed Josie’s waist.

“Do you want to do a spin?”

“Of course, I want to do a spin.”

Josie took Penelope’s hand, and let Penelope twirl her. She smiled, watching the colourful environment blur around her.

She felt lightheaded with joy.

She turned back to face Penelope, slipping her arms around Penelope’s neck.

Penelope touched their foreheads together.

“I’m the luckiest girl to be able to be called yours.”

Josie smiled.

The song ended and Kaleb started up another louder song.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Josie asked, gesturing to the outside area.

Penelope bit her lip.

“You’re sure you don’t want to stay and dance with everybody?”

Josie nodded.

“I just want to spend a bit of time with you.”

Penelope beamed.

“Then let’s go.”

+++

For a while, they just made out on one of the couches in the outer area.

Penelope was a really good kisser. Josie was pretty sure she would never get tired of feeling Penelope’s lips on hers, because every time she did, it was like electricity was travelling through her body.

Penelope pulled back and grinned at Josie.

“I have a present for you.”

Josie tilted her head to the side, curious.

“You do?”

“Well, I actually have a few, but yeah.”

Josie pulled back and folded her legs and hands.

“Alright, what’s the presents?”

Penelope smiled and stood. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.

“Do you recognise this?” She asked.

Josie frowned, trying to see if she did.

“It’s a piece of paper?”

Penelope laughed.

“Think harder. What was it exactly that started everything between us?”

Josie frowned, and then it hit her.

“Oh no. No, do not tell me you have my love letter.”

Penelope chuckled. Josie covered her face with her hands.

“I thought I would never see it again.”

“So, did I, but then I was clearing out my desk, and look what I found.” She unfolded the piece of paper.

“You read my notes back to me, now it is my turn.”

Josie sighed.

“Okay, do it. But if I cringe every five seconds, it’s your fault.”

Penelope cleared her throat dramatically, unfolded the note, and began to read.

“Dear Penelope Park, I like you. And not just in a ‘I want to be friends’ way. In a ‘I think you’re cute’ way. I do think you’re cute. Actually, no. I think you’re hot.”

Josie groaned and covered her face with her hands.

“I can’t believe I wrote that.

Penelope laughed.

“Do you still think I’m hot?”

“Of course.”

Penelope smiled.

“Well then, that’s all that matters. Now, onto the bit where you talk about what you like about me.”

Josie didn’t move her hands away from her face and Penelope continued reading.

“I like your smile, it reminds me of a turtle, and your hair, and I like your eyes, they’re really pretty. I also think that you’re really smart. Like in English, you’re like way smarter than everyone else. And I think it’s cool that you like Shakespeare and poetry.” Penelope looked up.

“This is so cute.”

Josie groaned.

“It’s embarrassing. I was like thirteen and anything that thirteen-year-old me did was embarrassing.”

“Is it true though? Do you still like those things about me?”

Josie moved her hands away from her face so Penelope could see her eye roll.

“Of course. I love your turtle smile, and your hair, and your pretty eyes, and how you’re so much smarter than everyone else, and I love how you are such a nerd about Shakespeare and poetry.”

“I’m just checking.” 

Penelope lifted the letter again and continued reading.

“Now, I know that my sister hates you, but here’s the thing, I don’t. You probably figured that out already. Even if I think that you’re too mean to Lizzie, I think that it’s really nice how you always smile at me in the hallways, and you always make eye contact with me. No one else in this school does that, and it’s pretty cool.”

“You always saw me,” Josie whispered, interrupting Penelope.

Penelope looked up and smiled, her eyes softening.

“Yeah I did. You were the only thing I ever wanted to see.”

Josie blushed.

“That’s cute.”

“Are you going to let me finish?”

Josie sighed.

“Go ahead. End my misery.”

Penelope looked down and read out the last part.

“So, I like you. Do whatever you want with this information. Actually, don’t tell anyone. Especially not Lizzie. She’d probably kill me. Just tell me if you like me back or not.” 

Penelope looked up, smiling. 

“Love from Josie Saltzman.”

Josie stood up, and captured Penelope’s lips in a passionate kiss. Penelope kissed her back for a moment and then pulled away.

“You know, I need to answer your question.” 

Josie frowned.

“What?”

Penelope grinned.

“In the letter you asked me to tell you if I liked you back or not.”

Josie rose an eyebrow, snaking her arms around Penelope’s waist.

“And do you?”

Penelope hummed thoughtfully, trying to look as if she was considering the question deeply.

“I don’t know. We might have to wait a few years for you to nearly run me over, and then for you to kiss me, and for me to kiss you back.”

“Oh yeah, and we might need to form a fake relationship, have deep conversations and act cute in front of everyone else, while we slowly figure out our feelings,” Josie said, playing along.

Penelope touched her forehead to Josie’s.

“Don’t forget about the part where we start fighting because we’re too insecure to let ourselves be loved.”

Josie rolled her eyes, and lifted her head to plant a kiss on Penelope’s forehead.

“But you have to remember the part where we find our way back to each other. The part where we love and let ourselves be loved.”

Penelope smiled and kissed Josie’s nose.

“That sounds like an interesting story. I’d read that.”

“But you haven’t answered my question.”

Penelope laughed and kissed Josie softly. 

She pulled back and smiled.

“Yeah I think I like you. I just might love you.”

Josie kissed Penelope, feeling like the whole world was still except for them.

“I think I just might love you too.”

Penelope nodded.

“Josie, can I give you my next present?”

“There’s more?”

Penelope nodded and pulled back slightly.

“Josie Saltzman, you are my sun; you bring me warmth. You are my stars; you bring me light in the darkness. You are my love, you are the one that I will always find my way back to, because no matter what, you are my world, you are all that I know, all that I want to know.”

Penelope’s eyes were shining with tears as she reached into her pocket.

“Every time I go to the diner, I think of you. Every time I see my necklace, I think of you. Every time I hear a song, my first thought is of whether or not you would like it. There’s you in everything I do. Now I know that you have something to remind you of me, and I love seeing you with that bracelet, but I wanted to give you something more. I wanted to give something that would connect us.”

Penelope pulled out two necklaces. Josie wiped her eyes.

“They’re beautiful,” she commented. They were both silver, with charms at the bottom. 

Penelope nodded, swallowing.

“So, this one will be for you. I picked three charms that I thought would best represent our relationship.”

Josie looked at the charms.

There was a piece of paper with a pen.

There was a pool.

There was a swing set.

Josie looked up, beaming.

“I don’t think I need to explain them, but I will anyway. The paper and pen obviously mean the notes we’ve written to each other. I couldn’t get a hot tub, but the pool represents the place where we had our first real kiss. And the swing set represents the park where we got together, finally," Penelope explained.

Josie nodded.

“I love you so much.”

Penelope smiled, and moved to put the necklace around Josie’s neck.

“Beautiful,” she whispered, her breath sending goosebumps down Josie’s neck.

Penelope stepped back in front of her.

“What does your necklace represent?” Josie asked.

Penelope smiled and held it up so Josie could see. When she realised what it was, her heart melted.

There was the letter I, a heart, and the letters J and S.

I love Josie Saltzman.

“You’re such a romantic dork,” Josie sobbed out.

Penelope smiled.

“Put it on for me?” 

Josie nodded, and placed the necklace around Penelope’s neck. She smiled when she saw goosebumps rise as Josie’s fingers touched her.

Josie still had an effect like that on Penelope. 

She stepped back in front of Penelope, smiling at her.

Penelope smiled back.

“Happy Birthday Jojo.”

Josie leaned in and kissed her.

Their story wasn’t perfect.

It didn’t have a perfect start, and Josie didn’t plan on it having a perfect ending for many many years, but right now, in the arms of the girl she loved, it was everything she needed.

She didn’t care that it wasn’t perfect, because finally, finally, it was hers.

And she was happy with that.

She smiled as she thought to herself.

How on earth did it come to this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, and now it's time for a very long end note.  
> First, holy shit it's over. This fic has basically been my life for the past 6 months. I've been writing, and posting, and it's been so fucking amazing!! This is the first fic that I've posted that I've ever finished, and that is so cool! It's also so long, not that I'm surprised. I did warn you guys in the tags that this was going to be so long.  
> Second, thank you to every single person who left a kudos or a comment!! Every time I saw that more people had left a kudos I got so happy, and every time I saw that someone had commented, I was so excited to see what people thought! Special thanks to the people who have been regularly commenting on my chapters!! You probably know who you are, thank you so much, I look forwards to seeing your comments!  
> Third, Some people have commented asking if there is going to be a sequel. While this may be disappointing for some of you, there will not be a sequel. I like leaving our girls where they are, and I think this is a good place to end for them. However, I do have plans for more Posie fics in the future, so keep an eye out for those!!  
> Fourth, the song that I used for the title is Polaroid by Imagine Dragons, if you don't know already! It's a great song, go listen to it!  
> Finally, thank you to everyone who read this fic!! You guys are the absolute best, I couldn't ask for better readers! I will leave you here, for the last time, and I will hopefully see you the next time that I write something!  
> Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's the first chapter of a story that will undoubtedly, end up being far too long. I am unsure about when I will update next, but hopefully, it will be at least semi soon. So, buckle in pals, the fun is only just beginning!


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